Wild Side (BWWM)

XXXVII

XXXVII: Honesty

When I made it to where Kenzi was keeping Iris and Bea I unlocked the front door. There was faint sounds coming from the kitchen area. I sat my keys in the bowl near the door and walked towards the kitchen.

Bea was sat on the counter eating a cookie and talking to Kenzi. From sounds of it he was teaching her new French words just like he taught her fluent Italian. She was currently fluent 4 languages which were English, Italian, Armenian and Spanish. I taught her Spanish and her mother mostly speaks to her in Armenian which is her Native tongue.

Kenzi looked over at me and rolled his eyes, I wasn't exactly happy to see his face either.

"Papa!" She called out excitedly and I smiled walking over to help her down. She was a little heavier every time I picked her up. She would be 4 in two weeks, it's funny because we have the same birthday. Both Virgo's as Bianca said we are apparently stubborn and perfectionists— ok maybe she's right.

"How is anima mia?" I ask noticing her hair is a lot shorter than when I last saw her. "I missed you papa, and Eliana. Mama gave me a haircut." She smiles grabbing the end of her ponytail reaching just past her shoulders.

"I see baby, how was it with uncle Kenzi?" I ask and she looks over at him and I catch him mouthing something out of my peripheral.

She looks back at me as if she was unsure of what to say. She wouldn't lie to me I don't think, she's always told the full truth when I asked.

"We watched Encanto and ate a lot of candy so I got sick." She spills and Kenzi scoffs.

Of course I knew Kenzi would fuck up somehow per usual, that's why he's the uncle and not a parent.

I look towards him with a straight face and he shrugs. Fuck it at least she had fun.

"Where's your mom?" Bea points to the window showing a view of the backyard and she was riding her horse. "In the backyard fucking up my grass." Kenzi grumbles and takes a sip of his drink.

"Daddy what does fuck mean?" Bea says very clearly making Kenzi snicker and my eyes widen. "It's a bad word don't ever say it. People who say that word have no manners." I scold Kenzi.

"Ok, can I come back with you?" She quickly changes the subject. "That would make your momma sad, no?" I figured she would want to come here along with her mother since they've been together since the day she was born. Although she always did have an attachment to me, I recall some nights she would wail until I came to get her.

"Not to be mean but mama is a meanie." Bea crosses her arms. You'd think she would let up in Bea but she's more strict than me, she wants her to be perfect even more than Bea already strives to be in all her activities. Enzo once told me she was afraid I'd put Bea to the side when I finally had a boy but that would never cross my mind. I'm sure my father put those thoughts in her head since he could care less for his grandchild.

"Okay but first I have to tell you a secret." She gets excited quickly waiting patiently for me to tell her.

"Me and El are going to have a baby." I could hear Kenzi choking on his drink over Bea's shriek.

-

I watched her remove the saddle and tie her horse up. She gave me a glance before throwing the saddle to the side.

"What do you want?" Her voice is dismissive but she keeps her tone normal. I was definitely thinking really bad things that I should never think about putting my child's mother through, but I've calmed.

"I could ask you the same." I return and she pulls her hair from the elastic.

"I don't know what you mean." She breathes looking at me, her face solemn. She looked just like her mom, I couldn't remember the last time actually looked at her for this long. There was a small scar on her cheek from when El slapped her the ring broke her skin. "Well Iris you've been making advances towards me and Enzo apparently. You threw a drink in Eliana's face, I feel like you are forgetting your place." I raise my eyebrows awaiting her answer.

She laughs lightly. "You know you have a lot of nerve pretending like I'm trying to sabotage your life when you sabotaged mines." Her voice was now more aggressive.

"Should I refresh your memory Mr. Perfect?! You got drunk and me pregnant! When I tried to leave you threatened me with my own horse and locked me in dark for days until I told you!" She had her hands balled up at her sides.

"My father fucking sold me off to be your fucking trophy and instead you used my talent to put money in your pocket! Then I find happiness with Enzo and you sabotage that too and lock me up for nine mon—."

"Oh please Iris I didn't fucking hold you down and take it from you! You don't think I know you poked holes in condom?! What the fuck was your plan hm? Tell Enzo she was his and make her your getaway ticket because he wouldn't stop his life for you?" She was quiet.

"Don't be quiet now. You are a smart girl Iris but don't ever for a second think you're fucking smarter than me. You're lucky I didn't do worse." I could feel the vein protruding from my neck.

Yes I knew I did some fucked up things but I was more lenient than my father would've been if I told him.

"You care about him more than Bea. And it's fucked up but you'd rather sit and convince yourself that I did this to you and I'm a bad father." I say referring to Enzo.

"Yeah maybe you're right, so just let me fucking leave! I crave freedom, yes I love Bea but she's a constant reminder of another thing I couldn't do right." I laugh out of anger.

"Okay. If that's what you want, but let me make something clear." I take a few long strides towards her and I see the fear in her eyes. "That little girl is going to be amazing and nothing that you seek is going to top seeing her grow up. If you come around, cool but if I see you within 20 feet of my Donna I'll crush your fucking windpipe." A tear slips from her eye.

It hurt me seeing Bea cry for her after she told her she was leaving. Holding her and feeling her little body flail and reach for her mother as the car left with her in it.

It absolutely broke my heart to hear her cry like that. Maybe three years ago I would've figured she was overreacting because I had never experienced such an attachment with my parents. I hadn't experienced that attachment with anyone until she was born.

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Damn this was sad and hard to write.