Oxzoria Academy: The Heart of Zaronaria

Chapter Forty Nine

A bond tied up together

Harper's POV

"Thyron"

Timothy was standing in front of me. Eyes connected to mine.  An open gate was standing behind him like it was inviting him to go. A smile formed in his lips before he turns away. I was just standing. I didn't stop him. I didn't utter a word. I just let him be until he vanished.

I've always hoped that one day, I'd stop dreaming about him. That one day, I could finally erase him off of my head. But the feelings somehow left a scar. Out of the scars that I have, the scar that he gave me continues to bleed. It endlessly keeps bleeding. And it was difficult to overcome.

The past continues to haunt me because of him. He suddenly appears and I didn't even know that it was him. What hurts me the most is that, I couldn't help but to admit to myself that I missed him and, that I've fallen for him. I hated that I let myself get swayed again. It would be easy enough if it wasn't him. I disliked how my feelings turned out sane whenever I'm beside him. But no matter how my heart allures for him, it'll always be consumed by the hatred that he left me. 

Lumabas ako ng kwarto ko and went outside the balcony. It was cold...so cold. My heart sank like a heavy stone getting thrown out to the water and I was nowhere of saving myself. I'm Shattered again. I don't want this to grow more. I don't want the sadness to surplus me again. I'm scared that I'll be stuck again in the pit of darkness. And yet, here I am, letting all the pain devour me. I couldn't reach myself again.

I cried again. Ilang beses pa ba ako dapat umiyak? Ilang beses pa ba dapat ako masaktan? The emotions felt like a stab and it keeps coming back and forth letting me feel the anguish that overflows in me. Whenever we're sad or in pain, the first thing that would come to our thoughts is to make it stop. But, stoping it was never been easy until you find yourself sleeping on your tears.

If only it was easy to sleep and wake up to find that the pain is no longer there. I'd always sleep when it is possible to do. But once you wake up, you'll be pulled immediately by reality and the agony continues to strain you. I've always thought that maybe this pain was given to me to challenge me of whether I'd be able to survive or to give up. I always choose to survive. But what if I chose to give up this time?

It is easy to give up everything but, what will change? Does the stingy ache disappears? Will it be able to stop the pain from playing with my emotions? It is never been easy, the pain and, everything.

"Harper?" Agad ko pinalis ang mga luha sa mukha ko at hinarap si Heartylou.

"Are you okey? You don't look fine these days," nilapitan niya ako.

"No, I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Tumango ako.

"I just wished you are but, I know you aren't," she slightly smiled at me.

"I haven't seen you ever since yesterday. Nakakulong ka lang sa kwarto mo."

"Pagod lang," I excused myself.

"What are you doing here? It's already two," sabi ko sakanya.

"Your question goes to you too."

"Nagpapahangin lang."

"Same," tumabi siya saakin at sumandal saka pinatong ang magkabilang braso sa rails.

"Things aren't going great huh?" Hindi ako sumagot at tinapat ang atensyon sa tahimik na kalawakan.

"Harper?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you ever wish like—you can go back in time right now?"