Oxzoria Academy: The Heart of Zaronaria

Chapter Forty Four

Saturn

Alex POV

"I'm sorry, Alex."

Agad ako napabangon. Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko habang inaabot ang paghinga ko. I rested my elbow on my knees and covered my face with my palms before standing up.

I couldn't sleep. Her last words keep coming back in my head.

I looked at the small picture frame standing at the top of my side table. I smiled bitterly as I stare at the picture. They were both young, innocent, and happy.

Losing someone you dear the most is cruel. You wake up everyday thinking that you won't be able to see that person again. That you wouldn't be able to see that person smile again. You don't get to talk or laugh with that person again like before. Ganito pala ang pakiramdam na mawalan. I won't be able to see her again in person.

You'll always think of going back in time to save that person from going away. You wouldn't wan't to let that person go even though they already left you nothing but memories of them. All you have is a memory of that person, all you have is her face flashing back before you close your eyes.

Wala ka man lang nagawa kasi hindi mo inaasahan ang nangyari. Everything passes by. You'd wish you could go back and spend more time with that person. You'd doubt yourself if the moments you have with her was enough. But for me it wasn't always enough, it was never been enough.

You'll just end up crumpling with your tears and hope that the pain that has been stabbing you would drift away. Taking a step forward is the only way to do.

My eyes drifted beside the picture frame and saw a thick book with a royal blue and plain cover that was laying beside it. Nilapitan ko ito at kinuha.

'White'

I gently brushed my thumb at the name that was engraved at the books cover. I slightly chuckled.

"Alam mo yung nakakatawa? The color of the book is royal blue but it says here white."

Leilianne's voice when we were younger flashed back in my ear. She gave me the book as a gift when we were younger. She wasn't selfish when it comes to her books. She'd rather share and give some of them.

Binuksan ko ang libro and flipped a few pages when a book mark suddenly swept off from the pages. Kinuha ko ang book mark na nahulog bago ito ibinalik sa pahina kung saan ito nakaipit. Hindi ko kaagad nagawang ibalik ang book mark. A poem suddenly caught my attention.

"Night in Pain"

It's been a while since I cried for you,
Everything went through brutal,
My tears fell until I fall asleep in fatal,
But it's my fault why I acted like that,
Too much dream about you,
Brings pain in my heart,
If only I can lean on the pain,
And sacrifice my life for being a fool.
How can someone be like that?
You're the best one in my world,
Standard fits right in you,
As I close my eyes,
All I can think is you,
You're the only person who did this to me,
Everynight I look at the sky,
Only to see the star I named; when you're winning in my heart,
You just made me feel; night is full of pain.

Now I know how these words feels like. Because I have been longing for you. My tears were for yours to begin with. From the skies, you were taken away from me and fly back with the wind. She's been ruling my thoughts. No matter how I close my eyes it is you whom I always see. If only I could close my eyes forever so that I could see you. But I know you wouldn't wan't me to live in pain. A pain that you left for me forever.