I dreamt of Heaven (Rants Collection)

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"My happiest place turned out to be my darkest place. Aur,ye na bohot terrible situation hoti hai, because you don't want to move on and you aren't happy together either. For that one connection,i was ready for all the compromises, because, everything was acceptable..just this person shouldn't go anywhere. Pehle toh like every other person,i too thought of my myself as "Tees Maar Khan" but,now, keep on asking myself- Where am I stuck?how do I get out of this?how even do I stay happy?But, eventually, na you,at some point have to learn...you know,you can't stay like this,you don't want to,and you can't. I've created this mess and I will get myself out of it. And,i think..whenever something happens,I overthink (a lil too much,too xD) and zoom out to take a decision,soon realising... I'm becoming someone I'm not...sad, unhappy,ready to compromise,give up, being okay with things that aren't okay. On the other side...the moments and memories...while,on the other,on one side was loneliness,and the magical connection that was now something very toxic. So,i closed my eyes and noticed that i was choosing everyone else, except myself. And that's when I knew,this is it. Finally,ended up blocking him, blocking him everywhere..mind,heart,body, soul and ofcourse,my phone. I ghosted him. The day,i lost two things in my life,Maybe a lover but for sure,a wonderful friend. We're so scared of loneliness that we self sabotage in toxic love instead. We are ready to compromise so much, that the other person doesn't leave. We forget that we deserve happiness,too. We all have the remotes to our happiness and we usually end up giving others,the control to out happiness. That remote should never be given to anyone, no-one should have the power to control your happiness. Make yourself your first priority,and see how it all changes."