I dreamt of Heaven (Rants Collection)

//~~~//

I've been thinking a lot about how some things affect us so much more than others. About how some people affect us so much more than others. And I keep wondering why we let them.

Why we let people become so important that what they would consider small inactions on their end,create a domino effect on us shattering our belief. When I look back I wonder why didn't insee it coming.

You know how you believe that there are some people, this tiny group of people who will never hurt you, who know what might trigger you who know what you've been through and who'd stand by you, because you'd have done the same and more for them.

It's an earth shattering feeling when those are the same ones who decide to put you through it all over again, who make a mockery of your feelings because you decided you could trust them blindly, because you thought their apology meant something.

Or maybe because you decided to believe them when they said how you felt wasn't such a big deal because you thought they were trying to make you feel better while they never really cared.

I guess it's extra hard for those few of us who constantly think about how our actions could affect someone else's mental peace, especially the people we care about. And for what?

On days like these I wonder why I even bother, everyone has their own lives to live, their own games to play, their own happiness to earn, and maybe I'm just a road block or more of a broken bridge that stops them on their way to an adventure than the highway they wanted to be on.

Maybe it's time for the detour signs to set out again, maybe it's time for the walls to go up again. Maybe it's time to restart without the giant giving heart, again.