Sleepy Bois Inc One Shots - and other mcyts

Journal

{talk of death, deities, and philosophy, might have derealization not totally sure}

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Journal Entry #???

"The past is far behind us. The future doesn't exist.

That feels really meaningful. I wonder if it will always hold meaning. Something strange is that really anything meaningful might not always be later. But maybe it doesn't need to be important forever. As long as it helps in the moment. Like how my personal truths will grow & shrink as my knowledge changes. Maybe.

Here is something that baffles me sometimes. The memories. What if we are just reliving memories as our body dies and that is why our sense of time is messed up.

"The days are long. The years are short."

But the idea that our, no, my reality is just my body trying to stay alive begs the question. Why? Why does it need to stay alive? If the world I see is just pieces until I eventually end, has my brain done this before and succeeded? When? If all I am is memory, why does it matter if I die? My memories might loop and keep me here. Would awareness of that help me stay alive or would it lead to a sooner death? I never could understand my own end. Others' is easy. They die, or leave, or get left behind, but why do I struggle to see myself doing that same thing? Is it because I am the thing that the others leave when they end so I can't leave myself or is it fear of what people end for? So many people hold to the idea that they extend past their leaving of me and my observation but will it matter? Will they all find that as soon as they leave they re-loop to the original code of it all? When I end, will my observation end too or will it be ghostly awareness or just simply over? Will I care if I am finished? If I am over will I care about my continuance or will it just be the still observing that care?

Do they observe the same way I do or once I end will my observance be lost forever? Will people care if they observe the way I do/did? Do I care if I observe the same way as them? Should I? Am I observing wrong because I interact with it to better understand or does it not matter? Who are we observing for? Ourselves? Our descendants? Our gods? If it is our gods, is it somehow not about us and instead some petty argument of the gods? Are the gods actually more powerful or do they just hold us within fearful grasps? Will we be judged based on our observance or our experiments used to better our observance and understanding? Will it be graded like a test? With a rubric and red pen? Or will we simply be given out final deservance? Will we get to object or will we not bother, simply because we are done? We have reached the end of our experiments and found our conclusion. Or have we been sentenced to eternal experimentation, observation, and recording?

Will we learn this before or after it is too late?

Goodnight. -Karl Jacobs

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Does anyone read these anymore?