Sleepy Bois Inc One Shots - and other mcyts

Edited

{disassociation, eating issues, self harm urges, pretending to be happy, swearing, heavy venting, probably more}

POV:Wilbur

 I feel like shit. I feel like I am slowly loosing my will to live. I love writing my music but I feel like it is the only thing I even slightly care about. I started struggling with eating and shit and now I just want to sleep until it is over. Just to wake up and it all be okay. I am falling behind in classes but I don't have the will to catch up, I mostly only have the will to write. I want to cry but I don't have time but most of the time I am busy and when I am not I am just staring at the wall. I can't seem to get out of this like dumb slump. I am trying to do things I like but when they are done I feel like I wasted my time or that it is just pointless. I feel like I am on the verge of disassociation at any point but it is not quite there. I wish I had control on my life. The only time I can focus is when I am writing and my family hates my writing and I feel like I am going nowhere in life. 

POV: Tommy

I got to therapy, I do. I talk to her about some stuff. Just not the big stuff that you are meant to talk about. I don't talk about anything really. I talk about my interests and shows. She tells me stuff about communicating with people. We talk about things I learned at my first therapist. Sometimes I wish I could go back to her. She was nice and understanding. Or maybe times were just easier then. Simpler, just me and my bestie with all the classic middle school issues. But I'm in high school now. I have more connections but less friends. I struggle day to day just to make sure I eat or don't hurt myself. It is so stupid that I even care at this point. 

POV: Techno

I try the day to day shit. get ready, get dressed, brush my teeth, don't go to the craft section of the dollar store, eat at least 2 meals, try not to look in the mirror too long, shower with the lights off so I can't see, set alarms for when to take off my make shift binder, pretend im happy with my body or my mind, pray to whatever being i can think of, beg my brain to shut up and stop, try and get my mind off it with entertainment, brush my hair, try to cry or try not to, try not to puke the food i did manage to eat, pretend everything is fine, try not to let myself get under-stimulated or overstimmed, try not to doubt my senses, try to trust my mind. All that good shit.  

POV: All of them.

Fuck I hate myself.

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Sorry, I made this into a fic after posting it as a vent. But I am not deleting the comments, it you feel this way read them and please take care of yourself.  I love you and I want you to keep living and being healthy. Please eat and live and don't hurt yourself, for me if you need a reason.