All the Feels

Chapter 24

Ainsley

Waking up on Friday feels like I'm preparing to go to my own funeral. I haven't slept, have barely eaten and cried more in the last few days than I have in my entire life. I tried to call Billy a few times. To explain things to him, but he ignored me every time. I couldn't really blame him. He was right. I should have talked to him. I should have let him help me. It's my job to do what is best for Willow, and asking him for help would have been in her best interest.

But you don't think right when all you feel is panic.

I get ready for court in a fog, not knowing what to expect. I have no lawyer. I'm going in there with nothing but a hope and a prayer. Hoping the judge can see through Travis' lies. Hoping that they can see that leaving Willow in my care is what is best for her, even if I look like a hot fucking mess right now. I sigh and comb my hair through one last time. I drive to the courthouse, not really even remembering the ride. I look down at the clock. Willow should be doing math right now in school. That sweet girl none the wiser that her entire future is going to be determined today.

I'm a little early, so I sit outside the courtroom on a bench staring at my shoes. If I had to imagine what waiting for your own execution feels like, this would be it. I check my watch and see that it's fifteen minutes until we're supposed to start. My stomach roils, but surely there can't be anything in there for me to throw up. I take some deep breaths when I catch movement from the corner of my eye. I look up and see a young man bustling towards the courtroom.

"Ainsley? Ainsley Calden?" He says and my brows furrow in confusion. I wave to him and his eyes catch mine.

"I'm Ainsley." I say and he sighs in relief.

"Oh thank God. Okay. Let's go over this quick before court starts. You don't need to say anything, just let me do the talking." He says and my face scrunches further in confusion.

"I'm sorry but, who are you?" I ask and he gives me an apologetic smile.

"My apologies. Declan Prescott. I'm your attorney." He says, holding his hand out for me to shake. My hand is limp with shock as I stare at him.

"Um, I'm sorry, but I didn't hire you. I don't have an attorney." I say and he waves me off.

"We don't have time for that right now. We need to go over this. I've spent every moment preparing and was still almost late." He says as he pulls out some documents. I watch him until he clears his throat and looks at me.

"Okay so, simply put, your friend was a genius." He says, and I continue to stare at him wtih wide eyed shock.

"What?" I ask and he smiles again, warm and genuine this time.

"Your friend, Sarah Harding. Fucking genius. I called the law firm where she worked before she passed and they had a whole file for her. She had a will that transferred custody of Willow to you in the case of her death." He says and I feel my brain swimming with information.

"Why have I never seen it before?" I inquire and he simply shrugs.

"You didn't really need to. No one fought you for custody of Willow after Sarah passed so it was pretty straight forward." He says and I nod in understanding.

"But won't the fact that Travis is her biological parent negate that? Wouldn't the court rather have her with a biological parent than a chosen guardian?" I ask and he nods.

"Yes. In normal circumstances. This is where the genius part comes in. Sarah had records. Pages and pages of her attempting to get Travis to be a father to their child. Emails, texts, even recordings of voicemails he left her. One even begging her to get an abortion. It's like a timeline of his refusal to take on parental responsibilities. It would have been the icing on the cake if she had gotten him to sign away his parental rights, but we don't need it. What we have will be more than enough to prove that his claims are all lies and that he never wanted to be a father." He says, practically giddy and I feel able to breathe for the first time in days.

"Seriously? You think I can win this?" I ask and he nods.

"If I wasn't superstitious about guaranteeing outcomes, I'd guarantee this one. Your friend was fucking smart. Total queen energy. She was prepared and ruthless." He says with awe in his tone and I feel my heart warm and my eyes tear up at the memory of my friend.

"She was amazing. And so is her daughter." I say, choking back tears just as they call us into the courtroom.

I sit at the little table and watch as Declan eviscerates Travis and his team of lawyers. Page after page of evidence is displayed and I nearly squeal in joy when they play the video recordings of Travis begging Sarah to have an abortion. By the end, there's no doubt that he is lying and the judge awards me sole custody. I watch Travis' face twist in shock and anger. Then all the blood drain in fear as the judge accuses him of contempt of court, lying under oath. He's marched away in handcuffs as his lawyer shouts obscenities at the judge, trying to remind him that Travis' last name is Hammond.

The judge doesn't give a fuck. It's beautiful.

I follow Declan out of the court room and take a few deep breaths, a real smile on my face for the first time in nearly a week.

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate this." I say, tears of joy welling in my eyes. Declan smiles and shakes my hand.

"Just doing my job, miss." He says.

"That reminds me, who hired you?" I ask and he opens his briefcase.

"A Mr. William Burns." He says and my smile falters as grief wells in me.

Even when he was angry with me, even when he felt betrayed, Billy was still there for Willow and I.

"Also, I have something else for you. I didn't want to give this to you before court, because I figured it would evoke some strong emotions, but it's for you." He says, handing me an envelope.

"What is it?" I ask and he gives me a sympathetic smile.

"It's a letter Sarah wrote. It was in the file with the other things. It has your name on it." He says. I fall down onto the bench, the letter in my hand as I watch Declan leave. I take a deep breath before breaking the seal, unfolding the letter and letting a sob loose when I see her handwriting.

Ains,

If you're reading this, well, I'm dead. Let's not beat around the bush. I knew when I had Willow that I needed to be prepared in case something happened. Not that I'm planning on it happening. You're stuck with me forever, bitch. Even if I die, I'll still haunt your ass.

I love you, Ainsley. I really do. You're my best friend. My sister. That's why in this will you will find that I gave you custody of Willow. I'm praying you never need it, but when I imagine myself gone, not able to care for her... Well, the only person I want taking up that role is you. I know it's a lot to ask, so much to ask. I know. But I need you, Ains. And so does she.

Look at me, the perfect planner. Always prepared, always knowing what I'm doing. Except that one time, and look what happened. But I'm not complaining. I love that little girl, Ains. I love her more than life. I'd do anything for her. Which is why I put together all the proof anyone would ever need that Travis is not fit to be her parent. She deserves better than him. Hell, she deserves better than me too. But, with your help, I'm doing my best.

I could never thank you enough, never repay you for everything you've done for us since I found out I was pregnant. You're everything to me, Ainsley. You're my family. My real family because you're the one I chose. You're the village I chose for my little girl and I don't think there is a higher honor that can be bestowed on a human being than having a mother want you to help raise her child.

Ugh, look at me getting all mushy. And I'm not even dead yet! I just wanted to leave you this letter, in case something happened unexpectedly, so you would know why. To understand why I chose you.

Why I need it to be you.

I love you so much Ainsley. Kiss my little girl for me. If I can't.

Love, Sarah.