All the Feels

Chapter 12

Ainsley

Watching Billy's truck pull out of the driveway and disappear down the road hurt a lot more than I anticipated. I let out a sad sigh and turn back to my empty living room, somehow it looks even darker without the joy Billy helps add to it. After having him here for such a long time it feels as if someone is missing, a little hole in our lives that he is somehow beginning to fill.

I was grateful he was considerate about how to handle things with Willow. I'm not sure how or when to discuss my relationship with Billy with her. I mean, we hadn't really even discussed it ourselves. Are we dating? Exclusive? The thought of him with someone else makes my stomach hurt, but he hasn't made any kinds of promises to me, so it's not like I can expect it of him.

I sigh again and make sure the door is locked before heading back up to my room. I smile as I clutch his sweater around me, laughing a little to myself at how cute he is. He seemed so excited to give it to me. I go to switch into pajamas, but change my mind and decide to sleep in his hoodie.

But I'll never tell him that.

I snuggle under the covers and inhale deeply, still able to smell him on my sheets. The thought makes my body warm as I remember what we had just done together. That was the most intense sexual experience of my life, and he wasn't even inside of me. I can't imagine what that would be like.

Well... I can. And I will.

I lay there for awhile before rolling over and grabbing my phone to text Billy.

You make it home?

Yes, angel. Sleep well.

I smile and put my phone down, pulling his sweater around me and drift off into a peaceful slumber.

The next day is exactly as Billy assumed it would be: stressful. Willow didn't freak out when I dropped her off at her class which I was grateful for. Emily was there with Ellie and I chatted with her briefly, both of us preoccupied with our heavy hearts, watching our girls go off and start the next chapter of their lives.

My day passed in a whirlwind of noise, laughter and excitement. I forgot how much fun it was to be sorrounded by joyful children all day. I went to check on Willow during lunch, but she barely spared me a moment. She gave me a quick wave then went back to talking to her new friends, she and Ellie attached at the hip. I sent Emily a text to let her know that Ellie was having a great day and she called me practicallly crying to thank me.

By the end of the day I was exhausted and ready to leave. I pulled my phone from my desk and smiled at the text from Billy.

Don't forget, dinner's on me. Along with his address. A spark of energy flashed through me and I suddenly wasn't so tired. I grabbed Willow after the last bell rang and we walked to my car, hand in hand.

"Where are we going?" She asks.

"Billy's apartment. He's making us dinner." I say and she looks at me thoughtfully.

"What's an apartment?" She asks and I smile a little to myself. She always asks the best questions.

"It's like a little house inside a bigger building with other little houses." I try to explain, but she just looks more confused.

"Does he have a yard?" She asks and I shake my head.

"No not really." I say.

"So where does he play soccer?" She asks and I shrug.

"I'm not sure, baby. At the park or at our house." I say and she sits in quiet contemplation until we make it Billy's.

We take the elevator to the third floor and Willow looks around, taking in all of the details. I point at his door and tell her to knock. She does so sheepishly then grips my hand again as the door swings open. Billy stands there in a blue shirt and work out shorts with a wide smile.

"There are my favorite girls." He says happily, lowering himself to his knee and holding his arms out for Willow. She launches herself at him and he scoops her up, hauling her into his chest. He tickles her side and her precious laughter warms my soul.

"Hey, angel." He murmurs, pulling me into his apartment and pecking a kiss to my cheek. I feel my cheeks heat in a blush as he puts Willow down and she looks around his small apartment. It's clean and homey, just what I would have imagined for Billy.

"What smells so good?" I ask and he chuckles a little, walking towards me.

"Chicken parm. The only thing I know how to make so please don't set your expectations too high." He says with a warm smile. I laugh and wrap my arms around his neck as he pulls me into a warm hug. He holds onto me for awhile and I watch as Willow disappears down the hall.

"Willow! Don't wander it's rude." I shout after her, but Billy just laughs and shakes his head.

"It's alright. She's welcome to go anywhere in here." He says quietly. He checks for Willow again, and when he sees she's out of sight he dips his head to catch my lips in a sweet kiss. I can't help but moan a little, melding my body to his as I kiss him back eagerly. He pulls away much too soon and lifts his hand to trail his fingertips down my cheek.

"You look beautiful today." He murmurs and I laugh a little.

"I'm a hot mess." I say, motioning towards my bun, which turned messy sometime after lunch and my rumpled shirt. Billy just smiles and shakes his head.

"You always look beautiful." He says, kissing my cheek again. I give him a shy smile and he pulls away just as Willow comes back in the room.

"It's a good thing you're friends with us, Billy." She says seriously and he looks at her curiously.

"Oh yeah? Why's that, Pippy?" He asks, booping her on the nose.

"Because I looked everywhere in here and mom was right, there's no yard. You need somewhere to play soccer and you can play soccer at our house whenever you want." She proclaims proudly and I smile at my sweet, generous little girl. There's no missing the look of affection on Billy's face as he smiles down at her.

"Thanks, Pippy." He says, clearing his throat. "That's really nice of you." He grabs her hand and leads us to the kitchen where a small table is already set. My heart warms at the sweetness of it all. I've never been with a guy who would do something like this for me. Most of them went running after I mentioned Willow, but even before that it seemed guys were always selfish and self centered. Billy seems to be the exception to many of the preconcieved ideas I have about men.

"I got juice just for you, Pippy." He says, pulling some apple juice from the fridge. He pours her a glass and gives me some wine as he brings the food over from the stove. It smells heavenly and my stomach growls, making Billy bark out a laugh.

"Tell me about your first day." Billy says to Willow. She starts to chatter excitedly, telling him about her teacher and that Ellie is in her class. I listen to her as well until I feel Billy's foot tap mine under the table. My eyes flit to his and he gives me a wicked grin that has my heart pattering wildly in my chest. I smile at him and turn my attention back to Willow.

We eat the delicious food he made and I start to clean up. He tries to stop me but I begin to wash the dishes defiantly. He grunts with minor annoyance as he puts things back in the fridge.

"Hey, Pippy, can you bring me that juice?" He asks and Willow carries the container to him. He puts it in the fridge and Willow gasps.

"Mom! Billy has your favorite kind of pickles!" She says excitedly. Billy smiles at her before his eyes meet mine. Willow flounces off to the living room where Billy put on a movie for her to keep her occupied as we clean up.

"I thought you didn't like pickles." I say, eyeing him curiously. He chuckles low and walks up behind me, tugging on my hips to pull me into his chest.

"I don't like pickles. But you do." He murmurs, kissing up my neck to my ear. "And I'd do just about anything to get you to keep coming here."