All the Feels

Chapter 13

Billy

It didn't take long for Willow to pass out cold on the couch while watching her movie. The little bug is freaking precious and I get more attached to her the longer I spend with her. I grab a blanket from the closet and toss it over her, tucking her in a little bit. She stirs, but quickly settles back down, snuggling her face into the pillow. I smile down at her and look to Ainsley who is watching me with a small smile. She took the chair, but I don't want to be that far away from her so I scoop her up in my arms and sit with her in my lap. She lets out a surprised squeal, throwing her arms around my neck to hold on. I chuckle as I settle into the soft chair and tuck my face into her neck, breathing in the warm scent of her shampoo as I place soft kisses across her delicate skin.

"I missed you today." I murmur, a little embarrassed by my admission. She chuckles a little and kisses the top of my head, running her fingers through my hair.

If I were a cat I'd purr.

"I missed you too." She whispers back. I look up at her and am struck with how deeply I care for this woman. I don't think I've ever felt anything so raw, so overwhelming in all my life. My eyes flit over to Willow, still sleeping hard.

I'm a little surprised at how much I like having them here. I figured I would, I've never been anywhere with them and not enjoyed it, but I've never had a woman here. Not even my mom. Ellie has hung out with me for a few hours when Emily and Jax needed someone to watch her but otherwise Chad and Ramon are the only people who have spent any kind of time here. This is undoubtedly my space, but Willow and Ainsley seem to brighten it. It feels warmer, more comfortable with the scent of a woman and the laughter of a child.

Ainsley tucks her head under my chin and I let out a deep, contented sigh as I bask in her closeness. I decide I want her even closer, so I lift her and carry her into my room, laying her gently in my bed and slipping in next to her.

"Willow could wake up any second." She says, her eyes wide like she's panicking. I chuckle and kiss her gently, pulling her into my chest.

"I didn't bring you in here for that. Your kid is just hogging the couch and I wanted to relax with you for a bit." I say quietly and Ainsley lets out a nervous laugh.

"Oh. Alright then." She quickly agrees before snuggling up into me. She throws her leg over my thigh and I turn on the tv that sits on my dresser, looking for something to watch.

"Thank you for dinner. It really was nice not having to cook." She murmurs quietly, her head tucked into my chest. I could tell how tired she was when she got here. I imagine running after kids all day has to be exhausting.

"Of course, angel. I'm just glad I got to see you." I tell her honestly. She's quickly becoming my favorite part of the day, going a length of time without seeing her would be difficult at this point. She looks up at me and gives me a sweet, sleepy smile before she burrows back into my side.

We lay like this for awhile, the tv playing but neither of us really paying attention to it. She tells me about her first day, how one of the boys tried to play a trumpet and nearly passed out from blowing so hard. Her laughter fills the space and I look around for a moment, realizing how lonely I've been. Even when I've been with someone it's never felt like this. Other women always seemed to have a selfish reason to be with me. Or they liked hanging out with me, but didn't want a commitment. Ainsley and I haven't really discussed that part of our relationship and I'm a little nervous to.

I don't want her to panic and flee. I know Willow is her priority and I would never ask her to put me before her child, but I would like to know that she feels this too. That our minds are headed in the same direction. I know I'm falling for this girl and for her kid.

After an hour or so I hear shuffling from the other room and a sleepy eyed Willow appears at the doorway to my room. She gives us a confused look before she wanders over and climbs into bed with us. I look at Ainsley for direction, but she just shrugs as Willow slips in between us. She lays her head on my shoulder and Ainsley snuggles into her from the other side. I wrap my arm under them both, tugging Ainsley closer as I smooth back Willow's hair. She lets out a quiet sigh before slipping back into sleep. I look up at Ainsley who is smiling at us and I feel like my heart's about to explode with the emotions filling it up.

This is the dream.

This is everything I've wanted since I was a child, raised by parents who couldn't be bothered to tuck me in, to check for monsters and give me a kiss before school. This is what I've wanted since I watched Jax fall in love with Emily and grow their family.

I clear my throat a little and smile over at Ainsley who is watching me curiously. I reach out to tuck her hair behind her ear. She gives me a bright smile that could light up a city and warmth spreads through me at the sight.

"Is this ok?" She whispers and I nod enthusiastically.

"This is perfect, Ains. Perfect." I say, tightening my arms around them both, hoping they can feel my fondness through my hold on them. We lay quietly for awhile and I soak up this feeling, this foreign emotion of feeling completely content.

"We should probably get home." Ainsley says with a yawn. I know she's right, but a flash of hurt and longing goes through me anyway.

I never want to let them go.

"Do you have to?" I whine, pulling Willow closer to me. Ainsley laughs a little at me and nods.

"We have school in the morning and she's already tired." She says and I sigh, pecking a kiss to Willow's head. The little girl tightens her fist in my shirt, clinging to me and a sudden surge of protectiveness goes through me. I feel her take a larger piece of my heart than what she already owned, but I don't care. She can have it all as far as I'm concerned.

"Alright." I say defeatedly, but I don't move. Ainsley stands and rounds my bed, going towards the door. She looks back at me and cocks a curious brow, but I just shrug.

"I'm not going to help you leave me." I say with a cocky grin that has her throwing her head back to laugh.

"You're ridiculous." She admonishes me, but there's no anger in her tone, only affection. She holds her hands out for me to pass her Willow but I shake my head.

"I'll carry her down for you." I say and follow her out of my apartment. Willow stays asleep, her head resting on my shoulder. I put my arm around Ainsley and pull her into my side, soaking up her closeness for as long as I can have it.

We get to her car much too soon and I buckle in Willow, making sure the straps are tight on her car seat. Ainsley stands next to the car watching until I shut the door. I approach her, reaching out for her and wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her body tight into mine. I check to make sure Willow is still sleeping before crashing my mouth onto hers, threading my tongue into her mouth and tightening my hold on her. She lets out a little moan that goes straight to my cock as she sways into me, pushing herself even closer to me. I back her up until she's pressed against the car, caging her in.

"I'd keep you here forever if I could." I murmur in her ear, kissing a trail back to her lips and capturing them again. I groan at the taste of her on my tongue, my hands slipping down to cup her ass. She pulls away slowly, both of us breathing heavy and I lift my hands up to cup her cheek.

"This is killing me, angel. I hate sending you home like this." I say, resting my forehead against hers. Her hands land on my biceps and I hear her take in a sharp breath.

"I don't like it either. But with Willow..." She says and I nod.

"I know. She's the most important thing. I get it. I just want you to know that I care about you. Both of you." Her eyes meet mine and the look in her eyes nearly has me on my knees.