February 20, 2015
A S P E N
"What's up with you?" I ask softly, as I slowly walk into Raff's apartment ahead of him. Noodles lazily picks up his head in tiredness and confusion, only to set it back down in his paws and let out a huff.
"I'm sorry, okay? But seeing you just hug Calum in front of me like that kinda pissed me off!" His voice starts to rise and he slams the door. I quickly turn around to face him, my eyebrows furrowed.
Thinking there's something going on between us two is more than dumb, its stupidly humerous. Yeah, maybe I had the tiniest crush on him when we were younger but that was only because I was a hormonal preteen and Calum was always around. But, now we're both grown, or at least one of us is. Me.
"I hugged him. That's it. Calum's been my mate for as long as I could remember... Well, before it happened." I mutter the last part under my breath so he doesn't hear me.
"What was that? What happened?" He takes a step closer to me, and I almost flinch at his sudden movement. I relax when I see his soft features.
"Nothing, just this thing in year eight. The point is I've known him my whole life. Nothing could or will happen between us. You're all that's on my mind romantically right now."
A huge sigh lets loose from him and he shakes his head, hopefully to get rid of the thought that me and Calum could be anything more than chummies.
"I'm so sorry, baby. Come here." He holds out his arms and engulfs me into his embrace. I keep my arms crossed against his stomach, still feeling upset. I've always been stubborn, but I won't admit that to anyone.
"You embarrassed me, Raff. I barely know most of the people that were in that room. And you just dragged me out of there, leaving Darcey. She's going to be pissed." I gasp in realization.
Kissing the top of my head, he rubs my back in circular motions and instantly I forgive him. All the anger I felt washes away with the touch of his hands and lips. And it scares me.
"I'm sorry. My temper got the best of me again, please don't be mad."
"I'm not mad." I shake my head, and tilt my chin up to kiss his lips softly.
"Good."
He kisses me again, his lips lingering on mine until he parts his lips. I open mine and at once, his tongue is in my mouth working wonders. It feels great until my mood is ruined when his large, truck driving hand meets my left boob.
Keeping my lips to his, I grab his hand and take it off my private area, feeling violated. My cheeks are red and hot and I just want to shrink into a dark corner, but I keep kissing him, hoping something will have to interrupt us or hell pull away.
And then my phone starts ringing. I snap away from Raff, and grab it quickly, not bothering to check the caller ID.
"Hello?" I ask as I stare at the ground, not brave enough to meet Raff's eyes.
"Sweetheart, hello. It's Mum."
God bless my mum. I don't know what I would be done if she hadn't called. I'm such a coward.
"Hi mum. What did you call for?"
I look over at Raff, but he's no where to be seen. Then I hear a slam in the kitchen and assume he's in there. He's probably pissed and doesn't want to look at me. I know I don't want to look at me right now.
"Well, Grandma is coming over for dinner on Sunday and we all know you adore her and she adores you, so we want you to come."
I listen to her, but I'm too distracted by what's going on in the kitchen. I just really hope he's not too mad at me for not letting him get to second base. Touching is not my thing. I'll touch him, no problem, but as soon as he wants to do something to me, there's a huge dilemma.
I'm pretty sure that if he wanted to finger me, his hand would get lost in my fat.
"Yeah, yeah, of course I'll come. I'm not doing anything." I shrug, my eyes staying on the kitchen and what I can't see inside it.
"Okay, honey, see you here."
"Yep."
Hanging up on my mother, I slip my phone in my back pocket and make my way to the kitchen where Raff sits on the counter, his hands pressed flat onto the surface on either side of him. I approach him slowly and clear my throat so he knows I'm there. His eyes are on the floor, like its the most interesting thing he's seen in forever.
"Aspen... Do you, do you think I'm attractive?" He asks me slowly and softly, looking up at me with sad eyes, a hint of frustration sprinkled in his irises.
Without thinking, I start laughing out loud, until I have to clutch my flabby stomach to stop. He looks at me with a confused expression.
"Is this because I wouldn't let you feel me up?" I ask him. He nods sheepishly, while chuckling.
Sighing and wiping my eyes, I put my hands on his knees and spread his legs in the most nonsexual way I can. Raff's hands meet my waist as I step in between his knees. Exhaling in content, I put both of my hands on his face as he wraps his legs around me, locking his ankles.
Being close to Raff makes my heart beat like I had just ran a marathon. I'd actually probably die if I ran a marathon, and I'm sadly not even kidding.
"Of course I think you're attractive, you goofball. It's me who's ugly. I'm just not ready to be touched." I exhale.
"But you sucked that guy off-"
Cue the cringing...
"Why can't I make you feel good?" He asks.
"That's really sweet, but I don't need it. If you want to make me feel good, you could cuddle me? I'd really like that?" I shrug my shoulders up while asking and he chuckles.
Without saying a word, he pushes me out from in between his legs and hops down from the counter. He leans in to kiss me, but stays an inch from my lip, his hands on my hips. My world is spinning.
"Race you to the couch!" Raff laughs.
Before I can react, he's dashed towards the living room. I run after him, my thighs rubbing together, my sandbags (boobs) bouncing, my stomach jiggling.
Obviously, he beats me, but what surprises me is his face when he turns around. He looks sad, upset about something. Almost distracted, its the face you'd get when you're about to get in the car and you realize you've forgotten something inside your house.
"You called yourself ugly. You're not ugly, Aspen. Take it from me. You're not ugly."
[an]
Im cri
