YOU ARE THE SUN IN MY DARK NIGHT

CHAPTER 23

I did not give my phone number of Dubai to anyone except my parents and did not receive a single call from Nabarun. It's not possible that he could not get my number. Pratyusha got my number from my parents and occasionally called to inform me about her studies. I tried to forget Nabarun, but could not. I was encountering him in my dreams, but after I woke up, I could not remember anything. I could not listen to any love song and I could not watch any love story because they made me more depressed. I tried to go out with others but failed. I became a machine, who could only work.

One of my teammates Prateek, who came from Bangalore with me, noticed my change. We were sharing an apartment. He asked me and I told him that I was going through a break up. He said that he was also going through the same. Her girlfriend left him and married a rich man. So, we became good friends and tried to find happiness in life.

After fifteen months I got the news of my grandma's death. Grandma died in the evening. When I got the news I was still working in office. As I never took a single day off during those fifteen months, my boss granted my leave immediately. I luckily got a ticket for the next flight and left for my home. Everything was ready for my grandmother's cremation and they were just waiting for me. I was repenting as I did not came to visit my family for so long. I cried as I saw her dead body.

Nabarun and Pratyusha was already there. After the cremation I was in grandma's room. Pratyusha came there and we talked about grandma. I was crying and blaming myself for not visiting her as per her request. Pratyusha tried to console me but could not. She called Nabarun and requested him to come there. He came after few minutes and asked, "why did you call me here, Pratyusha?"

She said, "Nabarunda, please console dada. He loved our grandma dearly and cannot handle her death."

"Let him cry, it is better than holding it."

"But, you can at least give him your shoulder to cry."

"I can't do that."

"Nabarunda, did you fight with dada?"

"I can't even do that."

"Why? You did not talked to dada since he came. What is actually going on?"

"Nothing, everything is fine between us. Let him cry alone, he will be fine soon. I am going to help baba with the rituals."

"That's right. But, hug him once, he needs you."

"He doesn't need me and I can't touch him."

"Why can't you touch him?"

"Because I have no right."

"Why? Are you not his lover?"

I was silently listening to their conversation while facing the other direction. But her last question shocked me.

"Did he ever tell you that he loves me?"

"No, but I know he loves you."

"You misunderstood. All that time, I was loving and chasing him but he never loved me back. I lied to you that we were dating."

"But you spend a whole day in hotel together."

"Nabarupa and Debesh were also there, it was only a get together of friends."

"But he was happy and....."

"He met his friends, why should he not be happy."

"Then, why are you helping me?"

"I thought he would be grateful towards me and accept me as his lover. But later I realized that I do not want a relationship based on gratitude. I stopped chasing him for a long time."

"What about me? I thought you are my brother-in-law, that's why I asked for your help."

"I know that. But you were always my sister and you will stay the same for me. The rest will be your decision. I will always respect your decision."

"Okay, we will discuss about this later."

"I am going now. I will go back tomorrow morning, do you want to stay?"

"I have classes to attain, I will go with you."

Nabarun went out of the room without even looking at me. I was trying to process the information I gathered from their conversation. Pratyusha remained silent for some time then hesitantly said, "I am sorry dada. I know that it is not the right time to discuss this but I have one question to you. If he is not your lover, then why did you trust him and let me falsely marry him? He is even spending his money on me and taking care of me."

"Your marriage is false? I thought you love him."

"Why should I love your boyfriend?" She paused and asked, "do you really not love him? Why do I feel like whatever he said was not right?"

"I love him, but I thought he does not."

"Can't you see love in his eyes. The way he looks at you, anyone can envy you for that. He even got permission from his father to spend his life with you."

"Did his father agree? And what about you?"

"He knows that our marriage is only a show. But he loves me like his daughter, after all I am your sister."

"But why did you decide to marry him?"

"I told you that before. I called you and we had a video conference. Can't you remember anything?"

I went near her and held her hands, "sister, I have misunderstood everything. The network was poor that day and I was unable to hear properly. I only heard that you wanted to marry him and he agreed. Please tell everything in detail."

"Baba-ma wanted to marry me off to a business man, who only wanted a house wife. But I wanted to study further so I asked Nabarunda to help me. You had no plan to come out at that time, so we decided to fake the marriage. Grandmother wanted to bless the grandson-in-law before her death. I thought he was the right person to have grandma's blessings, her true grandson-in-law and I will get lots of benefits if I marry him. He agreed, Nabarupadi agreed and you agreed too. But it turned out that you assumed that I am in love with him and sacrificed your love. You broke up with him for me? You thought that I am together with him?"

"I thought you did not know about our relationship and Nabarun ...."

I heard footsteps outside and closed my mouth. Mother came in and said, "you both are here. Nishith go and help your father. Pratyusha, come help me."

We did as our mother said. The next morning they left before I woke up.