YOU ARE THE SUN IN MY DARK NIGHT

CHAPTER 11

Winter had come already and our semester was nearby. But all my mind was filled with Nabarun. All my fantasies about Nabarun came alive in my dreams. I was dreaming about him every night. Actually I was living a wonderful life with him in my dreams. I knew those dreams would never come true. So, I decided to concentrate on my studies. I could see him every evening and every morning and I could spent time with him in my dreams. We always ate our dinner together, sometimes Surojit and Snehangsu joined us sometimes not.

Arts, Science, Commerce, Law and Engineering had different schedule for examination. All four boys of our room were from different departments. I was a fourth year under graduate student and rest of them were first year post graduate students. (Bachelor in Engineering is a four years degree course and the rest are three years degree course.) So, our examination dates were different. But we all started studying seriously before examination. Every day from afternoon to mid night we studied together, took some tea or coffee break in between. I took some smoking breaks too. Nabarun and Snehangsu usually slept first and Surojit and I studied until one o'clock.

Snehangsu completed his exams first and slept for one full day, then he felt bored. So, as soon as Surojit completed his exams, Snehangsu took him to his uncle's leisure house. Some other boys went with them too. This way they could enjoy without disturbing the study of other students.

Winters in the metro city were warmer than our small town. So usually a light blanket was enough for me to survive the whole winter. But that year temperature fell down much below the normal. I took Surojit's blanket over mine and Nabarun took Snehangsu's blanket as they were not there.

We finished our last written paper and were casually chatting in front of the girls hostel. Suddenly a light shower of rain came. Debesh and Amit took shelter in the visiting room of girls hostel but I ran to my hostel, which was not far. At night the rain became heavy and the temperature dropped even more. I was feeling cold and had nothing to do, so, I decided to sleep early.

I am sitting on a beautifully decorated boat, you are rowing the boat. The place is majestical, it seems like we are in our honeymoon. You are smiling brightly towards me. I feel like the happiest person in the world. Your body moves in a rhythm which makes you more attractive. I cannot control my desire to kiss you. As I move forward to touch you the boat loses its balance and we fall in the water. I do not know how to swim. Do you know how to? I am struggling in the water. Where are you? Are you safe? I cannot see anything and I cannot breath. I am still struggling, struggling to come out of the water, struggling to see you, struggling to breath. It was all my fault, I am useless. Someone holds me, shakes me but I cannot see anything, cannot even hear anything. Is it you? Nabarun, is it you? Are you ok? I try to touch you, try to hold you.

I opened my eyes and found myself in my bed. Nabarun was shaking me and calling my name desperately. It was only a bad dream, I sighed internally. I stayed motionless and closed my eyes again. Nabarun was out of his wits. He leaned down and touched my lips with his. I was so surprised that my mouth opened automatically. He entered his tongue in my mouth and explored every corner inside my mouth. My mind went blank and my whole body became stiff. He kissed me for a long time, his tongue did not left any part inside my mouth untouched. Then he sucked my lips and reluctantly withdrew his lips. He straightened his back and sit beside me, showing his back to me.

It was my first kiss and I got it from the person I love.

BUT WHY DID HE KISS ME? DOES HE FEEL THE SAME WAY AS I DO? DOES HE LOVE ME? SHOULD I ASK HIM? BUT WHAT IF HE DOES NOT LOVE ME? HOW WILL I HANDLE THAT? MAY BE I SHOULD DROP THIS MATTER. WHAT HE GAVE ME IS ALREADY SO GOOD. I SHOULD NOT ASK FOR MORE.