YOU ARE THE SUN IN MY DARK NIGHT

CHAPTER 7

Snehangsu and Surojit went home that morning. They took flights to go home as their homes were far away. It was decided that after dinner everyone would come to our hostel with their luggage. We all would leave our luggage in my room and start our pandal hopping. I asked Nabarun to take a nap before dinner bacause he woke up early and was habituated to sleep early. While he took a nap I closed the windows tightly, put my belongings in cupboards and packed my bag.

After that I sat on Nabarun's chair and stared at him for a long time. He was sleeping peacefully, so I did not disturb him. He was so handsome even in his sleep. His sharp nose; long, beautiful eyes; pink, juicy lips; clean shaved cheeks and a mole beside his eyebrow attracted me like a magnet. I had never seen any person more beautiful than him and I never felt that type of attraction to anyone before. Everyone praised about Surojit's killer looks but I like Nabarun's look more. I had to forcefully control my hands, as they were itching to touch his face. It was a feeling I never experienced before.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I NEVER FELT ATTRACTED TO ANYONE BEFORE. NEITHER TO ANY GIRL NOR TO ANY BOY. THEN WHY I AM ATTRACTED TO HIM? IS IT LOVE? OR JUST AN ATTRACTION? AM I REALLY GAY? I SHOULD CONCEAL MY FEELINGS FROM HIM, OTHERWISE HE WILL HATE ME. NABARUPA WILL HATE ME TOO.

I was dreaming about that person at least twice per week, but never saw his face. By that time I already knew that the person in my dream was a man.

I AM DREAMING ABOUT A MAN FOR SO LONG AND NOW I AM FEELING ATTRACTED TO MY ROOMMATE. WHAT SHOULD I DO? SHOULD I TRY TO DATE GIRLS? MAY BE THIS HOLIDAY OF ONE MONTH CAN HELP ME GET MY ANSWER. BUT MY MOTHER WILL KILL ME IF I CAME OUT OF THE CLOSET AS GAY.

At 9:30 pm I woke him up and we ate our dinner. Very few boys were present in hostel that night. Our friends came and put their luggage in our room. My friends came to my room before but Nikhilesh (the studious friend of Nabarun) came for the first time. He praised the cleanliness of our room. The girls stayed outside as they were not allowed to come inside. We carried their bags to our room and went out. The beautiful girl Paromita could not come but the hot girl Sudeshna came in a more hot and dazzling appearance.

We started walking towards the nearest pandal enthusiastically. Nabarun was the center of attraction and a cold war continued between Sudeshna and Mallika. They just did not used him as a rope to start tug of war. Debesh and Nabarupa were in a pre-dating state that time, so no one disturbed them. Nikhilesh and Amit walked beside me. Nikhilesh was born and brought up in Kolkata (he was a metropolitan city boy unlike rest of the boys), so he became our guide. Nikhilesh was talkative and talked non-stop about everything possible. We visited lots of puja pandals and ate egg rolls, ice creams and other snacks in between. We clicked lots of photographs in our phone cameras.

At first I was sad as I could not talk much with Nabarun. But then I thought it was better, I should not force him to like me. My feelings towards him were my problem, he was not responsible for that. He had the right to choose anyone as his partner. That night was anyway the most beautiful and memorable night of my life. I would cherish it throughout my life. He came beside me a couple of time to click selfies in his mobile.

It was four in the morning and we decided to end our night out. Nikhilesh called a taxi and took Sudeshna with him. He will drop Sudeshna to her home before going home. We were six people, so we decided to go by a bus. I was too tired and sat beside a window and did not expect that Nabarun would take the seat beside me.

He said, "if you are tired then take a nap."

I was really tired and could not keep my eyes open. When he called my name, I realized that my head was on his shoulder. I quickly detached myself from him and said "sorry". He did not responded.

We took our bags and went to the railway station by another bus. That time I drag Amit to sit beside me, Nabarun sat beside Mallika. Before going to different platforms to board trains Nabarun came forward and hugged me. Then we hugged each other and wished happiness for the festival. I boarded the train with Mallika and she talked non-stop about Nabarun until my station came.