Chapter 10

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February 1st

Tappahonnock, VA

Beyoncé Knowles,

It's been an official month, I've been here an official month and this is the most relax I've been in sooooo long. I feel like a normal person, I haven't been back to my hotel room since Chris and I made it official January 5th, he's been amazing.

We have a regular routine like we actually live with each other. He wakes up in the morning, cooks me and mama j breakfast and leaves out for work. Me and Mama j talk about everything, we chill, I take her on a drive just to get her out the house, once we come back Chris is there. We both work on dinner, and then we watch TV.

Monday's we watch Love & Hip Hop, Tuesday we watch Scandal, Wednesday after church we watch Empire, but since The Game also come on we just record that and watch it Thursday's. On Fridays after church we watch movies, Saturday's we dedicate that day fully to each other. Going on dates and enjoying each other's presence. Sunday's we go to church and by the time we make it home we're all tired, but we got Being Mary Jane recorded so we go straight to watching that. It's never boring because as time progresses I'm learning more and more about Chris as he's learning more about me.

"Mama J you cheatin'." I said

"You ain't got the proof." she replied, I laughed shaking my head reaching and grabbing the Monopoly money she stole from the bank from under the place mat.

"Ma you really cheated like that?" Chris asked busting out laughing.

"Innocent until proven guilty." She replied scratching the back of her head.

"You guilty mama J." I replied chuckling a little

"Welp look at the time, I think I'm sleepy." She fake yawned.

"You a fool ma." Chris said.

"Church was good today." She said changing the subject.

"Mhm.." I said picking up my ice tea sipping some of it, we all looked at the TV from the kitchen table.

Being Mary Jane was on, we stared at the TV for at least 7 minutes before mama j started breathing heavily. I instantly looked back at her, and she started gasping for air. Chris instantly got up running upstairs, I kneeled next to Mama J rubbing her back.

"Calm down ma, take your time." I spoke soothingly. I sorta got used to this also, it's just becoming worst and much more frequent. She nearly fell trying to get out the bed because she lost feeling in her legs. It hurts my heart to see her going through this.

Chris came back with her oxygen tank putting the mask up to her face turning it on. I stood up grabbing Chris' cell phone off the table, I typed in his password going to his contacts hitting Mama j's doctor's number before putting the phone up to my ear.

It rang about 4 times before he answered, "Hello?"

"Dr.Reynolds?" I said, this is t the first time I've called.

"Yes Ms.Knowles? Is everything alright?"

"I would like to make Doctor's appointment tomorrow." I said, I met Dr.Reynolds the day Mama J was throwing up so much to the point to where I made Chris take her to the doctor. I looked over at Mama J, who was relaxed in her seat breathing heavily into the mask.

"Alright, you can bring her in at 8 AM if that's an ok time?" He said

"We'll be there." I said before hanging up. I sat his phone on the table kneeling back down next to her side. She grabbed my hand giving it a gentle squeeze I looked up at her and she had already had her eyes on me.

I don't like this, seeing her go through this is painful. She doesn't deserve to suffer this way, she doesn't deserve this at all. Chris put the band around her head making the mask stay up on her face by itself. I felt myself starting to tear up.

"Come here." Chris said grabbing my hand helping me up, he pulled me into the living room.

"Chris she don't deserve it." I said rubbing my temples as I looked down.

"She's gonna make it, She's a strong woman bey she won't die." he said, I looked up at him. He didn't say that with confidence. He said it like he was questioning it, he was hurting just as well as I was. I grabbed his shirt pulling him close before wrapping my arms around his torso resting my head on his chest.

"Everything's gonna be ok baby." I say

"Same for you, stop crying you're too beautiful for it." He mumbled resting his chin on top of my head as his arms wrapped around me tightly.

"I just hate seeing her like this." I mumbled as I looked into the dining room at mama j. That was heart breaking knowing that now 3 times a week she needs to be on that breathing machine. It was like she really didn't it often, but it went from not needing it to using it 3 times a week.

>>>>

I kissed Mama J's forehead and Chris placed a kiss on her forehead also. Chris carried her up to her room, laid her on her bed and she slept peacefully. I hooked her breathing machine back up and put the mask on her face. I didn't trust her not having it on at night while we weren't up with her.

"You gone make it Mama J." I mumbled rubbing the back of her hand with my thumb. I sighed deeply before making my way out her room after Chris.

"Baby." Chris said grabbing my face. He made me look up at him. "Keep it together, don't break down on me. It's hard I know, but when she sees us down it makes her feel bad. We gotta keep it together for her." he said, I nodded he leaned down pecking my lips softly. Believe it or not me and Chris hasn't even came close to having sex.

The only thing we've done is kiss and cuddle. I really didn't mind, I could wait until whenever Chris was ready to give himself to me. As long as he was mine, I was fine. He just makes me so happy, he does a lot to keep his mom, sister, and I happy. I love that about him.

He really don't deserve to lose his mom so early in life like this. He doesn't deserve anything bad, he deserves better than this. He really does, he's way too perfect to be stressing like this.

~~~~~~~

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