When we were young | Chris Evans

Chapter 18

I spent the next day stewing away. Stewing away in my own anger. The meltdown that took place the previous night still fresh. I just couldn't understand why my romantic relationships just didn't work. Was it my fault for not allowing them in and pushing them away? Or did I just have an eye for the dickheads? Or was it the fact that my stupid hang up about Chris got in the way? I decided that taking accountability for anything at the moment, I would drive down and give Chris a piece of my mind. I quickly sent Scott a quick text asking for Chris address before driving over.

My plan was going perfectly until I realised that Chris had a gate. A fucking gate. I pressed the button which I assumed notified Chris that someone was there. Seconds later the gate opened. I drove up the drive way. Slamming my car door, I stormed up to the door, pounding the door. Halfway through my third pound, the door opened, revealing him. "How fucking dare you!" I shouted.

"Hello to you to" he replied, slightly confused.

"You do not get to dictate who I am with, or fucking hit them for that matter. I was doing just fine!"

"Didn't fauhken sound like it did it?" he snapped back.

"Well it was. Everything was fine until you. Until you came back. Until you told me you fucking missed me. Until you decided that you loved me again. Well let me tell you! You don't get to decide that you love me when its okay for you!" he stood there staring down at me, completely speechless. "Because it hurts. It hurts so bad knowing that when its no longer convenient, you will leave me in the fucking dust just like before" at this point tears were slipping down my cheeks, I didn't bother wiping them away, I was too focused on screaming at him. ""And- and I tried to move on. I really did, and I thought that I'd be fine with Aaron but I can't help it. I'm too fucking in love with you to even be with anyone else fully" and that's when he kissed me. Taking my cheeks into his hands and pressing his lips to mine. I froze momentarily, eventually giving in and kissing back. His tongue swiped my lower lip, making me open my mouth allowing him access. Our tongues began to dance their beautiful tango. Moving his hands from my cheeks, he slipped them to cup my arse, picking me up to wrap my legs around his waist. He walked me back inside, not breaking the kiss once.

"Say it again" he muttered, pulling apart from my lips momentarily.

"I love you" I whispered back.

"Fauhckkk. I love you too" he smiled, pushing his lips back onto mine. As he concentrated on navigating us up the stairs, I kissed along his jaw and down his neck. After we had got into what I assumed was his room, he laid me down on his bed and climbed on top of me. Placing gentle kisses on my lips and down to my neck. This didn't feel like before where we just wanted to rip each others clothes off. It felt sensual and loving. Each gentle affectionate touch sent fireworks off across my skin. Tangling between the sheets of his bed, we spent time becoming familiar once again with each others bodies. Every sweet spot, every curve and imperfection.

~

We laid on our sides, gazing at each other. A content smile appeared across Chris face as he reached his hand out and placed it on my cheek. Stroking it with his thumb.

"I'm still mad at you by the way" I raised my brow, biting down on my lip trying to suppress a smile.

"Uh huh, I'm sure you are" he grinned, lightly chuckling at me. As much as I wanted to stay in the blissful moment I knew deep down that we needed to have a long conversation about it all. Chris must of sensed my change in demeanour as he smiled knowingly at me. "How about we get changed, go downstairs and drink beer then we can have that conversation I know your so desperate to have?" I simply nodded in response and slipped out of the bed and walked toward his bathroom to clean up. I heard Chris suck a breath in as my naked body became exposed, leaving me pretty proud of myself as I swayed my hips to the bathroom.

After tying my messy sex hair back, I washed my face with cold water. At some point Chris came in and handed me one of his hoodies so I could be comfortable. I slipped it on along with my underwear and walked downstairs to find Chris ,beer in hand, sat on the sofa. I took the other beer that was on a coaster and took a long swig before breaking the silence. "So"

"So" he repeated, "Where do you want to start?"

"The beginning?" I began nibbling on my lower lip in anticipation of this conversation. We both had very different sides of the story and the worry was were these sides to different to be able to meet in the middle? That is one of the last things I wanted, being distant from him these years has been difficult enough. Re-living it however could be worse. "I don't really understand what lead up to it turning so wrong".

"I think that's partially my fault. I was young and didn't know how to communicate with you." he admitted, the look on his face revealed it all. He was just as worried about how this was going to turn out, as I was.

"Did I do something wrong to cause that?" I had moved my hand up to my mouth, nibbling on the hangnail on my thumb as I waited for his answer.

"No not at all." he replied, shaking his head profusely, "I just don't think we were who we needed each other to be" he must of seen the wide-eyed expression on my face as he started to ramble on.

"I agree" I said simply, "I still think that there is a lot of work that needs to be put in on both sides for us to be the people we need. Maybe we are just more willing and able to do it now".

"I am willing to do anything" Chris told me sincerely. He moved closer to me, reaching out to grasp my hand. This was just the beginning and it was going to be a difficult long journey for the both of us. Chris doesn't know how to communicate and I don't know how to trust him.

"What I don't understand though, is that day..." I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath before voicing the next words, "You told me you never loved me and I don't know what to believe because when we saw each other again you said you did" I watched him look down at his feet. "I guess I'm worried that you don't know what you want and its just gonna hurt me all over again"

"I am so in love with you Olivia. I know how badly I fucked up before, but we were young and that's not an excuse but I understand the work that needs to be put into love and a relationship and I am so willing to put the work in. I'm not sure how I'll ever be able to fully convince you how bad I got it for you because you are one of the most stubborn person I've ever met" at this point I had tears streaming down my cheeks, he was saying all the things I needed to hear. "I'm all in, and I know I'm gonna need to prove that to you but I just need to know your in too, okay?" he gazed at me hopefully.

"I'm in" I whispered. Cupping my cheeks in his hands, smiling ear to ear, he kissed me.