One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 115

{{I didn't edit so forgive any mistakes!}}

Dorcas stares nervously at her blonde friend, Lily and Marlene hovering on either side of her.

Gwen looks up from her textbook and quirks a brow, asking boredly, "Yes, Dorcas?"

"Um..." the brown haired Ravenclaw starts, glancing at Lily and Marlene. Peter smiles encouragingly from beside the Veela. Sirius had been on a tirade, a rampage. He'd tried to insist the James and Peter and Remus leave Gwen alone. But the Marauders had told him they wouldn't, that she was their friend too. That just sent Sirius into an even worse rage. So Peter had taken to hiding with the Veela in the library.

"We just wanted to give you a heads up," Marlene finally says, earning a grateful look from her girlfriend. She smiles nervously at Gwen and continues, "The gentlemen of Hogwarts are a little excited that you're...."

Gwen flips the page of her book, filling in the blank flatly, "Single? Yes, I've already been accosted by Gilderoy."

Lily hesitates before blurting, "Maybe I should stay!"

Dorcas and Marlene look at her in surprise, Peter's brows shooting to his hairline. Lily flushes and explains, "At least until you leave the grounds. You shouldn't be here alone—"

"I'm leaving the tonight," Gwen interjects simply. Dorcas' eyes widen and she asks, "Leaving? Tonight?"

"Yes," Gwen sighs, closing her book and leaning back in her chair. She rubs her forehead, wincing at the headache that hasn't faded since Sirius and her fought. Since they broke up. She swallows down the bile that threatens to rise, saying quietly, "Isn't it about time for you to go?"

Peter stands, giving Gwen's arm a supportive squeeze. He keeps his voice upbeat, hopeful, as he says, "I'll see you guys by the carriages."

Dorcas flashes a quick smile to Peter. She takes his seat and wonders quietly, "Gwen, are you sure you're alright?"

The smile that graces the Veela's face is painful, stiff. Gwen holds her breath for a moment. She always been honest. There was no reason for that to stop now.

"No," She says softly. "I'm not sure. But there's nothing to be done about it right now. I've made my choice. And he has made his."

Marlene bites back her desperate words. She wants Gwen to tell Dumbledore to piss off. But she knew that her friend had to do this, for whatever reason. And she also knew she had good reason to keep it a secret.

The four girls slowly stand and walk from the library. Gwen smiles and grabs Dorcas' hand, easing the frown on her best friend's face. Gwen hesitates before admitting, "You're gifts have already been sent to your homes. Lily, I put a charm on yours so Petunia can't hurt it. The same for you Marlene, I know your brothers like to get into the presents early."

The Gryffindor girls smile warmly at their friend, Marlene grabbing her other hand an swinging it playfully between them. Gwen grows nervous as they approach the large doors of the castle. She shivers from the wind when they open, her heart clenching at the snowflakes falling around them.

She smiles slightly when she spots James and Remus and Peter. The girls approach them quietly, and Gwen can't help but feel a pant in her chest when James smiles at the sight of Lily.

Remus grins at Gwen and waves her over. First, she turns to Lily and hugs her, whispering, "Have a good Christmas!"

Gwen reluctantly lets go of Dorcas and Marlene after their group hug, pecking their cheeks before coming to stand in front of her werewolf friend. He reaches out and squeezes her arm, saying kindly, "Be safe, Ninnie."

She smiles and nods, her eyes sliding to the space next to him. She laughs quietly and teases, "Little, you look lovely."

A middle finger appears to float in the air next to Remus, though she can hear Regulus chuckling from underneath the invisibility cloak. She quickly hugs Remus and Peter. Her heart warms when an invisible hand grabs hers and gives it a squeeze.

Finally she turns to James. And her resolve cracks. Her lower lip wobbles when his eyes grow soft and James rushes to pull her into a hug. He holds the Veela tight, frowning as he says lowly, "I'm going to talk to him, Ninnie. I swear I will."

Gwen sniffs, reaching up to quickly wipe away the tear that managed to escape her eye. This hurt. This hurt a lot. She squeezes him tighter and whispers, "Thank you, James."

"Of course," James chuckles, resting his chin on her head. He insists, "He'll come around."

Gwen backs away enough to see his face, her eyes unsure. She can't help but feel a little hope grow at the encouraging smile he has. She sighs and says warmly, "Tell Monty and Mia hello. I wrote Mia, but I won't be here to receive her reply."

James glances over her shoulder while he nods his head. A smirk suddenly plays at his lips and he hunches over to press a kiss to her cheek. Gwen blinks, slightly surprised by the action, her cheeks flushing when he mumbles, "Stay safe. And keep your head up."

When she turns to see what it is he's looking at, her heart turns to stone in her chest. Sirius stares at her blankly, looking devastatingly handsome in his leather jacket and red scarf. She's not sure what to do, where to go. She can feel her friends behind her, moving away with their luggage.

"Sirius," She starts, voice shaky. Shakier than she wishes it would be. She doesn't get to finish. He blinks, hiding his hurt grey eyes from her briefly. He lowers his head and moves past her, flinching when she reaches out and grabs his hand.

"Sirius," She says again, pleading with him. If he would only meet her eyes, if he would only look at her. He merely stares over her head, jaw clenched tight. 

She squeezes his hand, silently begging. But then she feels something, or rather doesn't feel something. Her heart splinters in half when she looks down and realizes that his ring, the one that matches hers, is gone. The gold on her finger glints alone. She's alone.

She swallows down the tears that threaten to rise. When she finally looks up she sees that he's finally looking at her. Longing, sadness, and lingering anger that burns through her.

She lets go of his hand and takes in a shuddering breath, saying quietly,

"Have a good Christmas."

Sirius contemplates picking her up and dragging her to the carriages, to the Potter's house. But the distance between them seems insurmountable. And he suddenly regrets ripping the ring off his hand in a moment of blind rage.

He nods lamely and turns to follow his friends, his feet heavy as he follows the path. He climbs into the carriage, facing forwards and ignoring the looks everyone is giving him. Peter starts up conversation about the Chuddley Cannon's match against the Hollyhead Harpies, earning the attention of everyone rather quickly.

As the carriage begins to move and the lights from the castle grow dim, something beckons him to turn around. So he does, his eyes instantly finding the pearly hair that shines like the stars.

His heart hurts when he sees her standing alone. It hurts more when he sees someone walk up beside her, dark hair and beady eyes that he can recognize even from the distance between them.

He nearly jumps from the carriage, nearly runs back to get her the hell away from the boy next to her.

But then the carriage passes the gate, and she's gone from sight.