One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 61

Gwen insisted that Sirius settle in, refusing his help with cooking.

He suspected that she need a little space. She was still unused to having a warm body in her cottage, used to not touching the water. She was surprised to find that while she still felt shaky on her feet, she did not feel scared or sick. She was still breathing easily, and her heart warmed because she knew it was him.

She's not at all surprised when he appears before dinner is ready, smiling to herself as his hand suddenly warms her back. He's never been the most patient. But he'd tried to give her time. And she was grateful.

He disturbs the silence first, asking quietly,

"What are the flowers growing on the side of your house?"

Gwen peers up at him, quirking a brow. His cheeks are tinged pink. He's embarrassed, but he clearly wants to know. She awkwardly clears her throat and counters,

"The tiny white ones? On the vines?"

He slowly nods, avoiding her gaze by staring at where his hand gently rests against her spine. She smiles slightly and says, "Jasmine. Why?"

It's his turn to clear his throat, uncomfortably shrugging and muttering, "They...they smell good is all."

They smell like her. That's what he wants to say. He's been trying for months to figure out what it was, what sweet floral essence she carried with her. Jasmine. He smiles slightly, his hand gliding up to rest on her shoulder and give it a squeeze. Gwen glances at his out of the corner of her eye, hesitating before whispering, "Thank you. For today."

The tension she's holding dissipates as he gently rubs her shoulder and shrugs, saying simply, "I don't know what you're talking about."

The affection she feels increases tenfold, as does her sudden inability to look at him without blushing. She'd been vulnerable today, more vulnerable than she'd been with anyone. She flashes him a shy smile, saying pointedly,

"Go sit. It's almost done."

Sirius grins, deciding to ignore her. Instead of sitting he releases her shoulder and moves to the other side of the kitchen, reaching up and opening the cabinet that he likes to watch her struggle to reach. He easily grabs the plates down from their shelf before closing the cupboard back up. Gwen tried to not melt into a puddle at the stove as he silently sets the table.

She serves up dinner, not missing the way Sirius eyes it curiously. It's as colorful as her garden, and it initially makes him nervous. But the minute he takes a bite he smiles, shaking his head to himself. She surprised him again. He liked it.

Their conversation is light, she laughs and smiles when he tells her about James and Mia and Fleamont. He listens attentively as Gwen describes the nearby muggle village, how she spends some of her days there shopping or just walking around. As the night wanes on, the conversation turns to comfortable silence.

Gwen hesitates before she decides to mention something that had been bothering her since his arrival. She owed it to him. He helped her today, so she wanted to help him. She takes a deep breath, peering at Sirius across the table before saying nonchalantly,

"I've been talking with Regulus."

His hands still, his grip tightening on his knife and fork. Gwen sips her water, appraising him silently from across the table. He slowly looks up from his plate, his jaw clenched so tight it looks like it hurts. He feels an instant rush of emotions that are impossible to untangle.

"You've been writing my brother?" He finally asks, his voice tight. He's trying to keep his cool, trying not to get mad. Gwen blinks before nodding, setting her glass down and folding her hands in her lap. She waits expectantly as he stews in his seat, trying not to smile. She knew what was coming.

Sirius finally explodes, shouting, "You've been writing my brother but you've barely written to me at all!"

His utensils clatter to his plate as his hands go flying to his hair. He's ashamed to admit his festering jealousy. Jealous of him. Jealous of her. Even more ashamed to admit that he's scared for her. She shouldn't be writing him, no matter how harmless he seemed. He chose his parents and their beliefs. He tries to voice his concern, lowering his volume,

"Ninnie, you can't write him."

The Veela crosses her arms, leaning back in her chair. She's still silent, her eyes unnervingly blank on him. He shifts in his seat, explaining, "He's one of them. He believes them."

"He's a child," Gwen says simply. Sirius bristles, growling, "That is no excuse. He's only a year younger than we are."

"Actually he's nearly my age."

Sirius looks at her exasperatedly. Her lips twitch as she says, "Birthday cut offs are odd at Hogwarts."

Sirius stares at her silently. She sighs and insists, "He's been nothing but kind to me. And he misses you. Maybe he isn't—"

"He thinks you shouldn't exist," Sirius pleads, voice suddenly weak. Gwen blinks again, unchanging. He grows frustrated again, tugging on his hair and groaning angrily, "Why can't you just do as I say?! You're my—"

He stops abruptly, nearly choking on his words. Merlin. He'd just about blurted out the word he'd been toying with for six weeks. He feels his face grow hot as she silently quirks a brow. She leans forward in her seat, lips twitching into a half smile.

"I'm your....?" She asks, uncrossing her arms and resting them on the table. Like she's waiting to hear his answer. Sirius grows flustered, stumbling over his words as she watches on with very obvious amusement,

"I—I didn't...I mean we—you are—FUCK OFF!!"

Gwen grins, showing off the tiny gap between her teeth that normally makes him melt. Now it just makes him grow warmer beneath his collar. He stands and grabs her plate, stacking it on his own as she cries,

"Hey! I'm not done!"

Sirius turns to the sink, bellowing, "Dinner is over! Go away!"

She stifles her laughter, biting down on her lower lip. She nearly tells him that he can't boss her around in her own home. The Veela opens her mouth, but Sirius speaks first, not even turning around as he grunts,

"I know where the dishes go, inferi. Go away!"

He sounds embarrassed so she decides to leave him be, standing and pushing her chair in quietly. She knew he meant well, trying to keep her from contacting regulus. She also knew how much it hurt that Regulus would talk to her..but not him.

Sirius grumbles to himself, cursing quietly. He stills when a hand rests on his lower back and lips press to his cheek. Then she's gone, a quiet chuckle following her out.

He sighs, muttering crossly, "Bloody veela."