One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 47

Sirius looks nervously at his watch. He hadn't caught a glimpse of Gwen all day, and they were meant to be meeting up to study for Astronomy.

He sighs, running his hands through his hair as he paces outside the library. He needs the bloody map but it's still locked up in Filch's office. He chews anxiously on the inside of his cheek before he heads back to the Gryffindor common room.

He needed to find Dorcas, which meant he needed to find Marlene. Fortunately, he spots copper hair that he knows will get him closer to his goal

"Oi, Evans!"

Lily turns around, quirking a brow as Sirius jogs up to her. His brows are furrowed, a worried expression on his face as he asks,

"Have you seen Ninnie?"

Lily shakes her head, looking rather curious as she wonders where her friend is.

"No, but I bet Dorcas has. She's probably already down at dinner. I bet Gwen is with her," the ginger offers, the two of them setting off towards the great hall.

The silence is awkward at first, and then Lily says quietly, "So you and Gwen...you fancy her?"

"Doesn't take a seer to tell that much," Sirius chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. He glances sideways at the smiling girl, feeling compelled to spill some of his locked up feelings.

"I think I've liked her for a long time," He confesses, smiling slightly when Lily grins up at him. She nods, replying with mirth,

"Good. She needs some light in her life. You make her laugh."

Sirius feels slightly surprised by her kind words, but just smiles and nods. They've barely entered the great hall before they spot Dorcas. She's sitting alone at the Ravenclaw table, looking very on edge. Sirius hurries over to her, Lily hot on his heels as he says,

"Meadows, have you seen Ninnie recently?"

Dorcas shifts uncomfortably, looking anywhere but at the boy when she hurriedly says, "No, I'm sure she's in the library."

"I was just in the library," Sirius replies, his eyes narrowing. Dorcas fidgets with her fork, finally looking up at where he and Lily are staring at her. She hated lying, was absolutely rubbish at it.

"Umm, she's in the common room?" It comes out like a question, because the anxious brunette can't think of anything better to say.

"Dorcas," Sirius warns, worry suddenly crashing into him like a wave. "Where is she?"

Dorcas sighs, looking at him silently for a few moments before mumbling, "She asked me not to say...."

Lily's eyes widen when Dorcas finally says, "She's in the hospital wing."

Sirius goes flying, sprinting out of the great hall and down the corridors. He can hear his name being called, though he's not sure if it's Dorcas or Lily or someone else. It doesn't matter.

He slams against the large doors of the hospital, pushing them open wildly as he asks loudly,

"Where is she?"

Madam Pomfrey looks up from her desk, saying hurriedly, "Mr. Black it's far too—"

"Poppy, where is she!" He says louder, nearly yelling and ignoring the healer's scrambling as he pushes past her. He flings open the curtains hiding the beds, growing increasingly worried as he finds them empty or occupied by students without blonde hair and blue eyes.

"Mr. Black!" Madam Pomfrey cries, rushing after him. He finally flings the last curtains open, relief flooding him. Gwen is propped up on some pillows, her hands resting with a magazine clasped between them. She looks up, locking eyes with him and saying calmly,

"Dorcas is a terrible liar."

Sirius stares at her blankly, his eyes tracing the dark bags that decorate the soft skin below her frosty gaze. She looks so tired, so pale and sallow that it makes him want to be sick.

"Inferi," He mumbles worriedly, shaking Poppy off his arm when she tries to drag him away. Gwen looks at the healer and says gently, "It's alright, Madam Pomfrey. It seems that he'd like to stay."

Sirius smiles apologetically at the woman's irritated face, quickly taking the seat by Gwen's bed before the healer tries to remove him again. She sighs and says firmly, "If you wake up any other students you will be forced to leave."

Sirius nods, sending her a grateful look when her face softens and she quietly closes the curtains around them. He turns back to Gwen, his heart clenching with concern.

"Ninnie," He whispers, reaching out to gently grab her wrist. She smiles faintly, saying quietly, "I'm fine. Just tired is all."

"Tell me what's going on," He pleads. He reckons it's the first time he's ever begged for something from anyone. Certainly someone he cares about. She doesn't answer and the pit in his stomach grows. He quick snatches the magazine she's insistent on reading, ignoring her disgruntled sigh and insisting,

"Ninnie, tell me what's going on."

She feels like she's caving in on herself, panicking under the worry in his eyes. It makes her irrational, it makes her want to be alone. She's suffocating.

"You're not my fucking boyfriend so why don't you piss off?!"

It's an uncomfortably loud outburst, and she expects him to get mad. To get frustrated and run his hands through his hair the way he does when he's upset or hurt. But he doesn't even recoil at her words. If anything he looks softer, kinder. He can tell that this isn't her. She doesn't want this to be her.

A few moments of silence pass between them, filled with regret for her. She's instantly embarrassed and ashamed of her attitude and she wants to take it back. But her mouth won't move, her throat won't unclench. She's voiceless, overwhelmed by grief and exhaustion and the magic in her blood that keeps pulling the rug out from under her feet as soon as she starts to think she's got a handle on it.

"Scoot over," He says calmly, disturbing the tense quiet. Her eyes begin to water.

"Sirius," She begs and holds out a defensive arm, her heart hurting by how kind he is. How the boy that she thought had such a chip on his shoulder that he couldn't see other people's pain was actually taking on hers.

He stands, saying even more gently, "Scoot over."

Her grip is weak, he easily tugs the blankets from her grasp. He peels them back from her shaking body, climbing into the too small bed. She tries to not touch him, but then his arms are banding around her waist and pulling her into his chest. He's warm and strong and steady. He smells like pine and leather and cigarettes and it makes the cold shell around her heart melt slightly.

Sirius rests his chin on the top of her head, holding her close as she begins to cry, her shoulders shaking against him. He holds her tighter, bringing up one hand to cup her face and tilt back her head. He could cry too, seeing her this worn down. He wonders how it got this bad, how it had taken so long for someone to see that the serene and nonchalant attitude she carried normally had been sapped away by exhaustion and replaced with stress and sadness, and an internal struggle with her dna that maybe only Remus could understand.

He leans his forehead against hers, murmuring, "I'm not going anywhere. Rest, Gwenyth. Rest."

She nods, closing her eyes and relishing the feeling of his skin on hers. She feels like he must have some kind of special magic too, because his presence is slowly drawing away the darkness in her mind and replacing it with warmth. She grows sleepy, her head slowly drifting to his shoulder while he runs his thumb over the crinkle of her brow.

He too relaxes as the tension leaves her body and she finally sleeps, his heart beating steadily against hers.

{{I know this might still be a little confusing—hopefully next chapter will clear some things up. I can't help it though, I love them. They're adorable.}}