One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 169

When Sirius returns to the house that night, it's darker than it had been when he'd left.

The rain had stopped, leaving behind fog that rose from the ground and glowed in the moonlight. He felt like he was suffocating. Air didn't come easy without her by his side.

The lights are all off inside when he creeps back in, the house so quiet he's scared to move. He hesitates before walking to the kitchen for a glass of water, his hand just reaching into the cupboard when he hears,

"It's about time."

Sirius jumps, whirling around and facing James. He exhales shakily, muttering, "Fuck, Prongs. You scared the piss out of me."

His friend's hair is a disaster, his glasses askew like he'd thrown them on as soon as he sensed Sirius returning to the house. Sirius can't help but be slightly disappointed that it's not someone with pale eyes and hair the color of moonlight scaring him instead.

James just stands there with crossed arms and a blank look on his face. Sirius sighs, gulping down water before asking gruffly, "What?"

"I've never seen Ninnie cry before."

Sirius quickly sets down his glass, his heart wrenching at his friend's words. He feels like he may be ill, his voice shakier as he asks, "She's been crying?"

"She was," James affirms quietly, studying Sirius calmly. He looks far better than he did earlier, not sweaty and nervous. Sirius feels a pang of guilt. He'd hurt James too. Made him an accomplice. He shuffles anxiously, glancing over James' shoulder at the stairs that wind up to Gwen's room. It was her room now, just as much as Mia and Monty were now Sirius' parents. They were family, all of them.

But he can't help but hold onto the residual anger he feels. She had lied, or at least refrained from telling him the truth. She was leaving again. And this time she might not be as lucky to avoid being hurt. This time she might be gone for good.

"I should go apologize," Sirius mutters, sliding his hand over his face. He couldn't believe what a mess had come of this. He couldn't believe that for as much as they loved each other, they couldn't trust in each other. He wanted to try, he wanted to trust her more. But she had to give him the same in return. No more secrets, at least not ones that could hurt them.

He knew he would never know the inner workings of her mind, the things she could see and think before anyone else. He knew she would be one step ahead of him for the rest of their lives, she just needed to let him have her back in return.

"She's gone."

Sirius freezes, staring at his feet. His hand grasps onto the edge of the counter, knuckles immediately aching from the strength of his grip.

"She wasn't going to," James continues, his voice steady. "Not until I told her to."

Sirius clenches his jaw, his teeth nearly breaking from the force. Gone. She's gone. He sucks in a breath before asking lowly, "You did what?"

James stares at him evenly when Sirius raises his head. They stand in tense silence for a few moments before James says firmly, "I told her to go. She needed to go—"

"What give you the right to tell her to leave?" Sirius demands, his voice growing louder in the quiet kitchen. James squares his shoulders, firing back angrily, "What gives you the right to tell her to stay?"

"I'm her boyfriend!" Sirius shouts, his blood boiling with anger. Gone. Gone. His hands come up and shove James hard, knocking his friend back a few steps. James scoffs and retorts, "You're being a pretty shit one!"