One Step Ahead part I | Sirius Black

Chapter 184

The Potter's house is dark upon their return.

Their evening mission had run long thanks to their encounter with Dolohov, and Gwen felt exhaustion seeping into her bones in waves.

Sirius is brooding silently, and when Gwen whispers his name in an attempt to get him to look at her, he simply hangs up his coat and walks up the stairs.

The Veela presses her hands to her stomach, willing away the nausea that beckons at her. She hadn't felt fear like that in some time. Though she wasn't scared for herself.

She wrings her hands together, hesitating before kicking off her shoes and locking the front door. When she tiptoes up the stairs, she finds that James is leaning in the doorway of his room, a frown settled on his face.

He blinks at the Veela glowing in the darkness of the hallway, voice just above a whisper as he says, "He said it went well."

Gwen's faint smile falters and James steps forward to wrap his arms around her. Gwen leans her head against his shoulder, murmuring, "I wish we could be normal. All of us. I wish the world was normal and boring."

James snorts quietly, his chuckles warming her heart as he mumbles in reply, "I don't know that I want to live in a world where Ninnie the Narc is normal. I quite like this one."

Gwen lifts her head to look at him, her lips reluctantly quirking into a smile. James' eyes soften behind his round glasses and he whispers, "There isn't a world where you don't exist, Ninnie. Not for Sirius."

Gwen hums appreciatively, patting his back gently. James let's her go, offering up a smile and teasing, "Besides, I need someone to watch my kids at Hogwarts."

"I think Remus would suffice," Gwen laughs, though her mirth dies out when James' face grows serious. He shakes his head, insisting quietly, "Remus will be a great teacher. But I'd like my children to know that sometimes there isn't an answer. Or even an explanation. I'd like them to know you."

Gwen's throat grows impossibly tight, her hand quickly reaching out to grasp his. The Veela didn't know hope until she knew James Potter. She smiles weakly and then the two part ways, James returning to his room as Gwen slowly opens the door to hers.

She shuts it quietly behind her, locking it before stepping forward into the moonlight that streams through the window. Sirius stands before it, his head tilted up to look at the stars. Gwen's heart aches because he's devastatingly handsome, even when he is upset. He owns her heart, holds it in the palms of his hands. And she gives it away to him gladly, hopelessly. Sirius doesn't turn to face her, but his voice is steady when he speaks,

"We could run away."

Gwen's eyes water slightly at the thought. They could. They could run away, leave their worries behind. They could go to France and eat pastries and drink wine and laugh until their lungs ached, kiss until the sun rose and set across the ocean.

But for how long?

"Would that make you happy?"

Sirius' shoulders sag at the quiver in her voice. His head falls, eyes burning from staring at the map of stars. He'd like to run away, he'd like to take Gwen from this place. From danger, from sadness. He'd like to sail the ocean like Argo Navis, find the heavenly waters that housed the clashing rocks that Columba would guide them through until they came out on the other side. Untouched. Free.

He shakes his head to himself. Not in this lifetime. Finally, reluctantly, he turns and faces Gwenyth and says tiredly, "No. these things have a way of catching up to us, Whitlock."

They stare at each other silently, Sirius raking his eyes overt every bend and curve and line of her body as if to reassure himself that she was still here. And then he sighs, swiping a hand over his face. She was here, and yet he felt like she was already gone.

Gwen finally nods, slowly walking over to him. She reaches up, cups his face in her hands so gently it causes his chest to ache. She shakes her head too, as if she too wants to traverse the sea of constellations that could take them far from here. But they couldn't. They both knew it.

"I'd do it," Gwen says softly, pale eyes steady on his. "If it would make you happy."

Sirius stares at her in silence, wondering if anyone had ever said anything like that to him before. Certainly not his parents, not his brother or even the Marauders. Sure, they would do anything for him. But this wasn't anything. This was a promise, that she would do everything for him. She would walk away from this fight, this war that held whispers of her mother and freedoms that Veela had never had.

"I know," He says, voice wobbling at the weight of her confession. "I know you would."

Gwen smiles and it's kind and pure and leaves him even more enthralled by her. He's enraptured, captivated by her energy. And he knew that they weren't the kind of people to run from fear. They were the kind of people to face it, meet it head on. They'd conquered oceans of pain. Together. He was certain they could survive this one as well. He would make sure of it.

"Would sex make you happy?"

Sirius barks out a short laugh at her curious words, his eyes clenching shut as he murmurs, "Merlin, is this some kind of test?"

"No," Gwen laughs too, warm and relaxed and his eyes open to find her staring at him with amusement written across her face. "I just know how much you like skirts."

"Mmm," He hums his reply, his hands coming to rest on the backs of her thighs. Gwen let's out a squeak of surprise when he suddenly lifts her into the air, spinning them around in a circle until she laughs again.

Gwen tries to stifle more giggles when he tosses her onto the mattress, her hand coming up to clamp over her mouth. Sirius grabs her wrist, easily forcing her hand away and replacing it with his lips.

Gwen smiles into the kiss, her limbs filling with a tingling sensation that leaves her feeling like she's floating on gentle waters. Sirius hums quietly, a content noise that he would otherwise be embarrassed over. Not now, not with Gwenyth Whitlock in his arms and warming his cold heart.

He pulls back to pepper kisses across her cheeks, the bridge of her nose. He dusts his lips over her brow, her crinkled eyelids. He'd kiss her forever. Forever wasn't long enough.

Gwen tilts her head, catching his mouth in a kiss that's slow and languid, her lips teasing his until his tongue is forced to seek out hers, taste the riddles that she loved to use against him. He swallows her moans, snakes his hands under her shirt to feel the warm skin of her back.

She pulls back slightly, voice breathless as she says, "After the wedding, let's go home. Just for a few days."

Sirius' brows knit together in confusion. And then it hits him. Home. Not Grimmauld place, not Hogwarts. Not even the Potters. Home. Their home. She had laid it out so nonchalantly, as always leaving him to catch up on. She meant the beach.

Her beach.

Their beach.

Sirius snakes his hands higher, cupping the back of her neck and bringing her in for another kiss. This one is brutally emotional, rocks his soul until the shell of fear cracks open and is replaced by awe that only she could inspire. His teeth punish her lips for promising such sweet things, for making him dream of the future despite the people and things blocking their way.

He pulls back to whisper against her lips, their chests rising and falling rapidly as he fights the urge to kiss her instead of speak.

"Sex would make me happy."

It's worth it, not kissing her for a few seconds. If only to hear her laugh that eases away the last bits of stress and despair.

Home.

He likes the sound of that.

{{I can't stooooooop}}