Besieged - Ji Changmin

40

I went back to my desk and sank on my seat for a while now. All of my co-workers left for lunch leaving me to collect my mind. Everything was so overwhelming for me for the past months ever since he...that guy left me.

I suddenly remember the envelope I got this morning and take them out from the other files and stare at it for a moment.

Who would this be from?

I slit open and take a deep breath before opening the letter. I didn't expect anything at all which shook me that I dropped the letter.

"W...what is this?", I mutter and hiccup, followed by tears beaming down my face.

"C...changmin...", I chanted in a crying voice just as the others get back from their lunch break.

"What happened?", our team leader quickly asked and walk towards me.

I pick up the letter quickly and stood up.

"Who...who dropped off this letter?", I baffled with hope shinning in my eyes.

"I only saw his back leaving just as I arrived. He was wearing a cap and dressed in all black, kinda slim body..."

I bursted out of the door and out of the building itself. I probably look like an idiot from the way everyone was staring at me. I couldn't stop crying as well and looking like an idiot was the last thing that I worried about.

"Why did you leave me when I said I would protect you? Now that I don't know where you are, how am I supposed to protect you? I promised to never leave your side"

I cried and cried on the toilet stall completely losing it after hearing a thing from the love of my life for the first time after he just disappeared.

The Ji Changmin I knew was cold and mean but he never hurt anyone without a reason, of course there were some exception but I knew it deep down in my heart that he couldn't be the one that kill his father. I wanted to believe that someone else were framing him.

He had a lot of enemy so it was possible that there are people who wanted to hurt him, I wanted to hear it from his own mouth that he was guilty but he had to flee before he could even say his goodbye.

The Changmin I knew, would never do that to me. He loves me as much as I love him back so why would he hid away from me and sent me this letter?

I grasp on the letter harder and clench my jaw. If the police couldn't find him where he was, then I would find him myself. Making up my mind was the easiest thing when it comes to Changmin.

If this was me a few years ago, I would be celebrating but I wasn't that girl anymore. I had changed and it was all because of him, love sure is an addiction and he had made me fell too deep to go back now.

✉️

To the most beautiful person in the world Y/N,

How have you been? For me, I'm miserable, I miss you so much, I want to hug you and kiss you all night. I want to hold you in my arms and never let go.

But, why does the world hates me so much that they tear me away from everyone that I've loved? I didn't want to hide away from you but I know that being besides me will hurt you more. I can't see you get hurt because I love you too much.

My father was mean to me and beat me a lot but he didn't deserves what happened to him either, it was all my fault, if I hadn't been born then everyone would live a better life, my mother would also still be alive. I brought a disaster in this world with my existence.

If I wasn't breathing anymore, would everyone live a better life? I'm thinking about seeing you and loving you again for the last time but if I do that, that will stop me from doing what I will be doing. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you and please, forgive me for what I'll be doing as well.

Take care and live happily without me from now, I'll always love you forever.

~Changmin

'It's a suicide note....'