wattpad ➳ l.h. [completed]

XLlll : look after you

*Dedication to our new editor! Thanks bunches Ger-Bear :))) Stay moist babe ;))

Why does he do this to me?

Why does Luke leave a burning feeling in my heart when I can't touch him, when I can't see him? Why does the way Luke bites his lip replay over and over in my mind, the way his eyes trailed over my bare body as it laid below him cause butterflies to erupt in my stomach?

I love Luke so much, the thought of him leaves me breathless. I love him so much that I know that I have to leave him.

If I love him, I have to let him go. 

Isn't that what the saying says? How it goes?

If you love someone let them go.

Then I think of Ashton.

Everything over the past year, every little conversation that we had, he was another person, a mystery boy. A mystery boy that I fell in love with.

I wonder if things right now, in this moment would be different if I hadn't lost my virginity to Luke.

Would I feel so committed to him? Would it be so hard to leave if we hadn't fucked?

Look at me.

I can't even call it making love.

We fucked.

The thought makes me want to cry.

I call Luke again.

He doesn't answer again.

I try once more.

He picks up on the last ring.

"Anna?" He asks, his voice deep and groggy. I woke him.

"Luke?" I choke out, barely able to keep myself together over the phone.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asks, his voice softening. I wish he was right here, beside me, telling me that everything was going to be okay, even though it's not.

Nothing ever will be again with us.

"I'm sorry." I sob.

"Shh, Anna, what's going on? What's wrong?"

I can't talk, I'm in hysterics.

“Anna, whatever happened, you need to talk to me. I’m here to help you. There’s nothing you and I can’t get over together.” He says lowly, “I love you.”