XL : forever and always

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There will be smut in this chapter. If you don't want to read smut, then I suggest that you wait for the next chapter, you won't miss anything.

He took me to the same hotel he stayed in when he was here for Christmas. I was fine with that.

The mistake that he made was staying in the same room.

Room 1412.

My head can't help but wonder around the room, replaying things in my mind. Where I was when he told me that he was using me all along. When I told him that he was sick.

Everything that had happened in this room makes me dizzy.

But I try not to think about it.

He holds my hand the entire time we go from the museum to his hotel, always looking to me. Like he was afraid that I would disappear.

He swung our hands back and forth, and once we got to his hotel, the thoughts that filled my mind when I was bored made me nervous.

The things that I thought were going to happen today.

He spun me around and then my arms wrapped around his neck, his around my waist, pulling me to him, dancing to an invisible beat.

Within the motions of us dancing, we managed to remove our shoes and jackets.

He kissed me like there was no tomorrow, being perfectly gentle, every one of his motions soft. He kisses my mouth hardly, then moves down to my jawline, then to my neck, eventually getting to the nub of my collarbone, the only part that was exposed to his touch at that moment.

But that didn't satisfy either of us.

His hands lifted up my shirt slowly, before he helped me out of it. My response was to get his shirt off of him as quickly as possible.

Before long, our bare torsos where touching with no space in-between. The only things accompanying them are the scars he has and my bra.

I lean away for a moment to turn off the lights but he stops me.

"You're so beautiful." He tells me.

All I want to do is cry. I wish that I could do this without the pain of the past coming up to haunt me, but everything bubbles over.

"Please?" I ask him.

"Why? Why are you so afraid? I love you. I want to love every part of you. Everything. Everyone has a past. It's written in their scars. I want to know yours. I want to let you escape." He tells me, walking backwards to the bed her he lays down, and then slowly pulls me on top of him.

But I don't want him to see the lines all over my body. I don't want him to know how much pain I've been. I want to be the girl that he knows.

"I love you." He tells me as a reassurance.

"And if you love me too," he starts, his eyes never leaving mine, "Then you'll let me show you how much I love you. Even with the lights on."

"I want nothing more than to love you Anna. To love you so much. To love you everywhere."

His fingers find the button on my skinnies and he pops it, slowly pulling the zipper down.

As I wiggle off my jeans, he laughs slightly, peppering my face with kisses.

I wish then and there that I had worn something sexier than my plain black panties and bra.

Everything that I could have done better floods into my mind, and for a little bit, I start to wonder if I should stop Luke, and ask if we could do this later. When I could have been more prepared. When I could have looked better, done my hair, not look like a wreck.

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