Alex's POV:
After our first show in Manchester we went to Sheffield, where I decided to sleep at my parents. I basically forced Becca to send me photos with her food before and after she ate just to make sure she will eat.
"Darlin' the tea is ready!" My mom shouted from the kitchen and I quickly ran downstairs
"Thank you mum" I nodded and kissed her cheek and placed myself down on the settee
"You really love Rebecca, don't you?" My mom suddenly asked and I turned my head to look at her
"Isn't obvious?" I chuckled
"She's always there for me, mum... She always forgives me even when she shouldn't.. She makes me wanna be a better man."
"Why isn't she here with you Alex?" My mom asked and I shrugged
"She said that she needs time with her- Oh my God" I exclaimed and quickly ran upstairs
How stupid could I be?
I quickly called her but I got no response. I texted her a few times. Still, no response.
After a while my phone started calling and I quickly answered.
"Hi Al! Is everything ok?" Her soothing voice calmed me and I quickly sighed in relief
"You scared the shit out of me" I groaned
"Why?" Becca chuckled
"Baby tell me the truth, why aren't you coming with us on the tour?" I asked
"I.. I just don't feel good Alex..." She said quietly and I pulled my hair back in frustration
"Talk to me, please" I begged
"I am talking to you Alex!" She snapped
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry.. I shouldn't be yelling at you... I just..."
"It's ok my love, have you ate something today?" I asked softly
"Mm? Y... No.. I didn't" She confessed
"What are you waiting for then? Come on, put me on facetime and let me see what are you gonna eat" I said and I heard a soft chuckle
"Done" She grinned
"There's my beautiful girl" I grinned back and she giggled
"Stop it you" She laughed
"Fine.. Fine.. Let's go to the kitchen" She sighed
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Rebecca's POV:
After I made my lunch and Alex was keeping me company we kept talked.
"I respect your decision me love, but if you ever change your mind, come and stay us. It's really such an easy flight" Alex nodded
"And we will visit cute new places together"
"I know... I know.."
"Enough with the talk, you have to go! Come on, you will be late!" I groaned as Alex was laughing
"Fine fine, I'll call you before we're going on stage" Alex smiled and I nodded
"I love you"
"I love you more Al!" I grinned and closed the call
I miss him so much, but if I go on tour with them I'll just be a burden for everybody. At this point I'm in a very low state of mind and I don't want to worry anybody with my shitty problems.
One month and 2 weeks later...
It's already the last day of November, Alex has been a little distant and I don't know why. I often laugh when I remind myself of our attempt of doing phone sex. The girls would call me every single day, they would often call me during the shows and we all sang to the boys songs. Alex on the other hand, he used to text me almost every single hour and now I get a text every two days.
I was so alone and decided to insist with calls, knowing that Alex had a free day today. I called and called and I got no answers.
Once he finally answered his phone I sighed in relief and smiled.
"Hi baby" I said softly
"What?" Alex replied harshly
"Is everything ok Al?" I asked worried
"Why do you fucking keep calling me? It's bloody annoying! Why are you so needy?" Alex's voice filled my room and I quickly felt tears running down my cheeks
"What?" I asked quietly
"Do I need to repeat myself?" Alex asked and I covered my mouth with my left hand to stop myself from sobbing loudly
"No.. No.. I'm sorry I just... I just wanted to see if you were doing great.." I said, failing to remain silent as a sob filled the entire room and I heard Alex sighing
"I'm done.. We're done" Alex said and I widened my eyes
"What? Alex!" I said quietly
"For fucks sake! What do you want?" He snapped
"You know what? Fuck you! I hate you so fucking much!" I shouted
"I hate you too" Alex said quietly and hung up.
I quickly started sobbing again. He didn't meant it. He didn't. He was drunk. But I was lying to myself. I was a pain in the ass. And he was right, I am needy. I am needy because I found the person who I can be truly myself.
Breana quickly called me but I ignored her call, but of course she insisted. Katie started calling me too, this time on Facetime and I cussed and answered.
"Hii, what happened?" Katie asked, her sweet voice calming me down
"What do you mean? Nothing" I lied
"Yes something hap- Oh God" She exclaimed shocked
"Hold on a minute please!" She said and I nodded
"What the fuck were you thinking man? Are you fucking out of your mind?" Matt shouted and I widened my eyes, trying to see what happened
"Have you gone crazy? Heroin?" Jamie shouted and I covered my mouth with my hand
"Just fuck off already" Alex's deep voice could be heard and I quickly started crying when I realised what happened
"I..I.. I'm sorry Becca I don't know what the fuck is happening right now" Katie sighed and I smiled softly
"Don't be sorry.. Now go have fun, I have... I have something to do" I lied and closed my phone
I quickly started sobbing. Why would he do that? I don't care what is happening to me, if I'm happy or not. All I want is Alex to be alright.
I quickly grabbed the piece of paper where Alex wrote the few lyrics of our song and I started writing a few lyrics, as I also finished the song.
"If our love just means goodbye, then honey, better walk away
Just do it
Just do it, don't wait"
After I finished I started blasting music, basically yelling the lyrics as I continued sobbing. And of course I had to play sad songs.
"And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright
I'm just so tired to share my nights
I wanna cry and I wanna love
But all my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up"
As I continued singing I fell asleep at some point, and I'm pretty sure I had a dream about me and Alex getting married on the beach. But of course, it was just a dream. It's not like it could ever happen...
