3 months later..
It's been 3 months since mine and Alex's breakup. Clearly, I didn't felt better. I still keep waking up in the middle of the night sweaty and crying, as the same nightmare kept appearing every single night. I also started doing drugs again..
Funnily, me and Nate met 2 months ago and now we are in a kind of relationship but the truth is I'm just lying to myself. I don't love him. I was drunk in a pub and he was there.
Alex finally stopped calling me, and I was happy about it. Even if I don't want to, I have to let him go. I will always love him the same, even if he doesn't.
My heart belongs to Alex, and no one else's.
It was around 3 am when my phone stared calling and I groaned, grabbing my phone from the nightstand. I gazed at the screen just to see a lot of missed calls and unread texts from a unknown number
I opened the last message and widened my eyes reading the messages
"You kbow, the moon is really pretyy right now, wish u here here me love:***"
"I fucked up i know but you know i love you and i know you love me tooo"
"I bought a new phone since u blocjed my number"
"I just cant seem to move on, i want you, i need you to be exact. Im in love with you and i will always be"
"Im alex the band guy by the way x"
I sighed but quickly let out a soft chuckle at the last text.
"Why'd you only call me when you're high Alexander?" I texted him
"hi love" He texted back
"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?" I texted again
"Goodbye Alexander.."
I send the last message and tears quickly started to fell from my eyes as I quickly blocked his number.
I tried to fell asleep again but memories were keeping me up. I fell asleep after a while though.
I fluttered my eyes slowly and began looking around my room, the sun was shining bright through the big window and I decided to go on the balcony for a smoke. I was thinking at the fact that I haven't spoke to my family for three whole months. I sighed and walked to my closet just to take the polaroid picture with me and Alex. The one my mom took.
I walked slowly to the balcony, one hand on the picture and one around my organic cigarette.
I don't even know why but I took a picture and post it on instagram with the description
"I thought i was yours forever"
I knew Alex wouldn't see it, that's because I blocked him. And you couldn't really see that Alex was in the picture though. I closed my phone and threw my phone on the glass table
My phone started buzzing again and I slapped my forehead in frustration.
I glanced over the phone and Matt was calling me. I sighed in relief and picked up the call
"Hello Matthew!" I said
"How is my favourite little pop star doing?" Matt giggled
"Do you want me to lie?" I chuckled quietly
"No." Matt quickly said
"In that case, absolutely the same" I nodded to myself, taking another drag from the cigarette
"It will get better B.. I promise.." Matt said softly
"How are you doing with the songs, James is treating you well, right?" Matt asked
"Mhm.. It's okay I guess, in two days I'll release Happiness is a butterfly.. and the rest of them in like two weeks ..I think" I replied nodding and took another drag from the cig
"Can't wait to 'ear them. I'm so excited" Matt giggled
"Wait hold on , I'll be right back, I'm going to grab a bottle of water"
"Sure" I stated
I waited on the other line until I heard some noises. I removed the cigarette from my lips and placed it in the ashtray.
"Matt?" I asked
"Who's that?" A very drunk voice asked. The voice of the man I was deeply in love with.
"Alex get the fuck out of here! Stop drinking, have you been actually sober for once in the last three months?" Matt exclaimed
I shouldn't be listening to them, but I couldn't help myself. I was completely devastated to hear that Alex was like this. I don't even know why though. He is the one who cheated on me.
"Matt, I'll call you later" I said
"Wot the.. Becca?" Alex's deep voice cracked through the phone
I sighed and quickly hang up the call. I looked at my phone to see a lot of comments at my last post, and a text from Nate
"Wanna eat something tonight? We might have a little fun as well after;)"
I groaned and texted him back
"Nathaniel I told you I am not ready. Just leave me the fuck alone for once" I texted him back
I groaned when I saw that Nate was calling me and I responded, grabbing my cigarette as well.
"Maybe if you weren't that bitchy, people would actually like you and not cheat on you" Nate's voice filled the air
"What the fuck?" I exclaimed
"It's sad really.. People are just using you and you have no idea..." Nate said
"What the fuck? And just to let you know, I never fucking loved you and I would never" I shouted and turned around to see people look at me from their balconies
"You are just a little slut. No wonder that little fucker Alex cheated on you. Why the fuck did you even posted a picture of him and you? And that stupid necklace of yours, why are you still wearing it?" Nate's annoying voice exclaimed through the speaker making me tear up a bit and I stood up
"Maybe because I fucking love him and I'm fucking in love with him. You don't have any right to talk about him like that. You are fucking disgusting Nate" I shouted not caring if people were still staring at me from their balconies or from the street
"You are nothing but a slut" Nate laughed and I quickly hang up
I brushed my tears formed around my eyes and sighed. I looked back at the necklace I was wearing and brushed it with my thumb. I never took it off, and I will never. I looked down at my hand, the little ring still on my finger. I smiled softly and walked back in my home before I stomped my cigarette on the balcony railing.
It didn't felt like home though.. This place gave me nothing but hurtful memories.
