"Baby please
I love you"
Those are the words that were spinning around my head since I left. Alex's last words.
It's been two days. I couldn't sleep not even for a minute. Memories with Alex kept flowing as tears fell on my cheeks over and over again.
I couldn't eat, drink or even walk. I was paralysed in my own bed as tears kept running and sobs filled the air.
I managed to walk to the bathroom after all and wash my face with cold water, dry mascara still visible around my eyes and cheeks.
I heard my phone ringtone and slowly walked to pick it up. It was Alex.
I pressed the red button within a second and I sat down again on the edge of my bed, looking at my phone background. It was a photo with me and Alex kissing. I quickly closed my phone after I stared for a while. Unfortunately, my phone started to call again and this time Katie was calling me.
"Hello?" I asked and got scared when I heard my own voice. I couldn't even raise my voice anymore
"Becca? Is that you? Are you okay darling?" Katie's sweet voice cracked through the phone's speaker
"Definitely" I replied numbly
"Where are you Bex, and please don't hang up. It's been two days.." Katie sobbed through the phone
"In my bed.." I replied and placed my head on the bed
"Please love, talk to me. Please" Katie sobbed once again
"Are.. You crying?" I asked softly
"It's been fucking two days Rebecca." Katie replied
"Since what?" I asked and wiped my eyes with the back of my free hand
I took a glare at the big window in my bedroom and watched the pouring rain.
"Oh my God Becca.." Katie sighed
"Is that? No, don't let him in! Jamie no!" Katie exclaimed through the phone
"Katie?" I whispered, not being able to talk properly
"Just mind yer fucking business Helders. I'm fucking done with this shit" A voice that I well knew exclaimed through the speaker of the phone and I quickly widened my eyes
"Is that.. Alex?" I asked
"Um.. Yes.. Wait a second darling please!" Katie said and I nodded to myself
"Alex get the fuck out of here, you are fucking wasted" Katie shouted
"Mind your fucking business Katie, I didn't asked for your shitty opinion 'bout me." Alex shouted back and I heard a bottle being shattered
I sighed and closed the phone.
Even if he hurt me, I felt so bad for him. I loved him with every piece of myself. Every shattered piece of myself was in love with him.
My stomach was absolutely killing me so I decided I should go outside and grab some food. I slowly took off the dress I've been wearing for two days, along with Alex's sweatshirt.
I stared at myself in the mirror. I loved myself.
But here is past-tense, isn't it?
I was disgusted by my own appearance now. I traced a hand around my dark circles around my eyes and sighed.
I got dressed with a pair of mom jeans and a large sweatshirt who I reckon was Alex's. I sighed and put on my black boots and left the house. I couldn't even brush my teeth or take a shower. I didn't had enough strength to do so.
I stepped outside in the pouring rain, cold breezes hitting my face, making my hair slightly fly back. I cussed at myself for not having a umbrella and I began walking around the city I knew well.
I quickly entered a small coffee shop and everyone's attention went to me. Maybe it was because of how I looked? Maybe because my clothes and hair were wet?
I gulped and started walking to the display case and stared at all the warm pastry's.
"How can I help you ma'am?" A red haired woman asked me and I moved my gaze to her
"Sorry for asking, but are you okay miss?" She asked
"Mhm.. Bad week I guess" I chuckled softly
I didn't actually wanted to eat, even though my stomach was killing me. I looked back at the pastry's and gazed at each and every one.
"Can I get a.. Umm.. A blueberry muffin, a croissant and a latte, please?" I nodded and moved my gaze to the woman and looked down at her shirt where her name was written. Her name was Lilian.
"Of course" Lilian grinned
I opened my purse and grabbed my wallet but quickly got interrupted by her
"No, no. That's all on me" She grinned and I shaked my head
"No, Lilian.. I have to" I smiled weakly
"Please, don't. I presume you aren't doing well, so that's all I can do for you to feel better, sadly" Lilian grinned nodding
"I.. Thank you.. I'm Rebecca by the way" I nodded smiling softly and took the plate and my latte and placed them to the closest table I could find
I began eating my 'food' but the truth is I lost all my appetite. I took a few sips from my latte and grabbed my phone from my bag.
Messages over messages. Calls over calls. Why can't they just stop?
"Sorry for interrupting you, I brought you a piece of this chocolate cake, it's just amazing. I hope you'll like it" Lilian grinned, snapping me out of my thoughts
"Oh Lilian.. You didn't had to.. Thank you" I nodded
"Enjoy your food!" Lilian grinned as she walked back towards the cash register
I ate all my food and left the small coffee shop. The rain finally stopped and I decided to take a walk just to clear my mind.
As I was walking around a park I decided to sit down on a bench and took my phone and decided to call someone I knew well..
"Matt!" I exclaimed, but it was more like a whisper
"Rebecca? Is that you? Oh my- Are you okay darlin'?" Matt quickly spoke
"Please don't tell anyone that I called you.. I want you to do me a favour.." I nodded and pressed my bag tightly around my hip
"Of course! Anything!" Matt responded immediately
"I want to record some songs"
