Transgression (Ménage)✔

⊰73⊱

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Acacia/Ciarán - Age 17

Meliorist Sanctum

It feels like my body is programmed...

...because as I begin to wake up, I realize it's been quite a few days.

No one bothered to check and make sure I was okay or why I'd been asleep for so long. When I wake, I'm in my dorm room bed, not the place Lars had taken me to. Tears gather in my eyes when I come to understand everything around me, including that it's early afternoon and I can hear birds chirping outside the window.

As I sit up slowly, I glance around to see no one. I'd never been this weak before, it feels like my energy has been completely drained. The dull pain I feel is what draws my eyes to my wrists, seeing what was once dark bruises now fading away to a light green and yellow. My abdomen retains an ache that lingers, my senses finally my own as I attempt to recall what happened.

Bits and pieces flash through my mind, but nothing I can actually form a solid memory from...

...did I have sex with Lars?

I don't know what to feel...

I don't know what to do...

When I push back the covers, I glance down at the same clothes I'd been in before being taken away by Lars. While I'm not as sore so to speak, when I get out of bed and head toward the bathroom, I collapse to my knees when I reach the open door. I clutch into the doorframe as I steady my breathing, my heart racing fast while I lift my gaze to focus on the shower.

Shaking my head, glimpses of moments making me unsure if any of it was real...

...it couldn't be.

Exhaling deeply, I rise to my feet and walk carefully inside the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind me. I step out of my clothes, fresh tears springing to my eyes when I see trace amounts of blood on my underwear and between my thighs.

It's just like the first time...

I release a sob as I choke on it, crying hard as I finally get under the warmth of the shower. The water washing everything away but my memories, and even they are sketchy at best.

I sit on the floor of the shower, curling up into a ball as I mull over everything.

Is this normal?

Is this how everything is supposed to be when I'm with someone?

I remember wanting to...

...but not wanting to at the same time.

Is that why there are bruises on my wrists?

The tears blend with the water as I turn the handle, shutting the shower off as I take my time getting dry. I change into a fresh pair of underwear and a bra, stepping into new jeans and pulling over a long sleeve shirt over my head.

I reach for the drawer under the countertop, pushing aside a few items as I reach for the handle of my brush. My fingertips touch over the raiser blade that had been used for the new application of the caulking seal along the bathroom tub base. A moment later, I clutch my brush handle and lift my chin while shutting the drawer.

My eyes flicker to the mirror of the bathroom when I go to brush out my hair, blow drying it and leaving it down. After putting everything away, I head out and down the stairs to the common room, knowing I'll be meeting with Mercury shortly at the building near the grove.