Those Dominant Eyes

Chapter 23

I sat in bed with Zane, cuddled in his lap, just savoring the calming peace I felt only with him. I was fully relaxed and the erratic beating of m heart subsided.

We had concluded everything with the police earlier. We had filed a report, but they couldn’t investigate any further since nothing was taken from out the apartment. It was just like last time, and i knew it had to be Danny.

I was currently at Zane’s house, since he basically ordered me to stay here. But I liked it here, I could be with Zane the whole day and it was pretty comfy. Of course, I called Kora and told her what had happened so now she was staying with Zane’s sister, Val, I think. She originally tried to come over here and supposedly “take care” of me, but I somehow convinced her that I was safe and secure with Zane by my side. This was one of those times that she didn’t get her way for once. Although, I had to get Val on my side first.

But Zane was probably worrying and wondering about the cause of this situation. And from the way I had freaked out, saying things he couldn’t understand because he didn’t know my past, he was probably under more stress than me. But Zane was still here for me and staying by my side and trying to cheer me up, he deserved to know what happened before.

I untucked my head from my favorite resting spot on his neck and gazed up into his dark eyes that were pointed at the window. He was thinking hard about something, from the hard look on his face. I sat up from out our laying position and brought my hands to his face, making him turn his attention to me. His gaze instantly softened and were full of nothing but love when he focused back on me and it made my heart flutter.

“Zane, so, um what happened..” I started but I didn’t know how to put in words.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to or if you’re not ready, it’s ok,” he said, understanding what I was trying to discuss.

“No! I’m ready it’s just hard to talk about and try to put in words… But I want to,” I said honestly, looking into his eyes.

“Ok, take your time. I can tell it’s a difficult subject,” he traced circles on my arm as he pulled me into him a bit more, making me relax against his perfectly shaped figure. He was so caring.

I took a deep breath and started. “I met a guy named Klevin in my second year of college, when I was 20. It started off great, we had fun and played around a lot. But then I started making mistakes every corner I turned, and when I did he would always argue about it. They were mistakes that could be considered anyone’s fault, but I didn’t know that at first. I thought everything was my fault and with the way he complained about it, it definitely had to be. I felt bad, so to make it up to him, I would do…sexual things, to please him since that was the only way he’d forgive me.” I said as his eyes were burning with a mixture of negative emotions.

”But then we got a little busier with exams during the end of the year to worry much about things like that. And when summer break came, I wanted to visit my family. He wouldn’t let me go and when I asked him why, he just said ‘because you’re mine and you won’t go anywhere I tell you not to. Unless, you want to make me upset?’. Back then, I was blinded by, what I thought was, love so I was going to stay on campus. Until my mom called and basically demanded I come see her. So I convinced him to just come with me, as my best friend, of course, since they didn’t know I was gay.” I took a couple of seconds to breathe as Zane was still comforting me through it without saying anything.

“So when we got home, everything was going fine, some mistakes here and there but that was all.  We were only going to stay there for about 5 days. I thought everything was going to be ok, until I saw my 16 year old brother (back then), Danny, kiss Klevin. My parents were out and I had just gotten back from the store. Klevin’s back was toward me, so he didn’t see me come in, but Danny. Danny saw me as soon as I came in, but it was like he didn’t care and kept kissing him, even though I told him beforehand that he was boyfriend,” I turned my head back into his neck, as I didn’t want to see how his face would react to the next part.

“We had an argument about that too, but it turnt out Klevin didn’t even care about his betrayal. He blamed it on me not being perfect.  And when I said I would try to press charges against him for doing this with an underaged kid, Danny said that it was consensual and Klevin threatened me with v-videos he r-recorded of us alone t-together, if I ever talked about ‘such a small mistake’. As it turnt out, they had done more than j-just kissing, but I didn’t know then,” I inhaled Zane’s scent deeply and calmed my nerves.

“My parents came home then and asked why we were fighting, and Klevin told them even though he knew I hadn’t come out yet. There was a whole other fight about that and my parents ended up kicking all of us out. Anyway, I broke up with him and he and my brother Ted together. I heard he broke up with him a long time ago, though. But anytime I tried moving on with someone, he did stuff like this, making them break up with me. So around a year and half ago I stopped completely, but I thought he would’ve gotten over it by now.”

I stayed there, frozen in his lap, waiting for his reaction. He’s probably thinking of the best way to break up with me. They all do after finding out about my baggage, they don’t want to deal with such hassle.

“Kade,” he said softly. I was scared to look up and see his disappointment, for him to reject me. Even if we got this far, and I had started to feel something unfamiliar bubbling  inside my heart for him, things could always change.

“Love,” he said firmer, realizing my thoughts. I looked up without hesitation this time. Hearing that name, the name he gave to me, was still special to me. His eyes were soft and light and held compassion for me, but they also had anger and vengeance behind them. “I’m still here, Love. And I won’t leave you, you have my heart and soul. I couldn’t imagine being without you, especially for something like that. I care for you and I’ll continue to. I love you, Kade. I’ll protect you and make sure no one harms you.”

He gave me a light kiss and looked deeply into my watering eyes, telling me it was a promise. I loved him too, so much. My emotions overflowed as the lump in my throat forbade me from speaking and relieved tears strained my face.

I took a couple deep breaths and relaxed into his comforting body. I felt so safe, so warm, so loved by him it made my heart beat dangerously. But it was a good dangerous that made me want to feel it all the time.

“I-I love you, Zane. I love you soo much. I love-“ he pulled me into a hard, passionate kiss that expressed both our feelings of love and his intensity that claimed me his forever.