I was the 6th-grade "slut." And I kept a diary. So I decided to create The UnSlut Project in the hopes that my own diary entries could provide some perspective to girls who currently feel trapped and ashamed. I am publishing these entries one at a time, without changing a single word except for the names of the people involved. My limited commentary, which is confined to brackets in each entry, is meant to provide the relief of my current perspective, fifteen years later. The UnSlut Project: Working to undo the dangerous slut shaming in our schools, communities, media, and culture by sharing knowledge and experiences.
- "Kiss Her!"
- Crusty Spit
- Now everyone thinks Hannah is a slut.
- "Why do you let him touch me like that?"
- "I love him!"
- "EMILY'S BOOBS ARE FAKE"
- He's kind of a loser. Not a total loser, though.
- I just threw myself on my bed and cried until my face hurt.
- I don't care if you hate me for the rest of the time I know you.
- "Zach doesn't like you anymore, so fuck off."
- But his teeth were a mess and his head was kind of misshapen.
- I guess I'll have to dump him as soon as I see him tomorrow.
- "Will you go out with me? I really, really... no I don't."
- "I hope you're happy."
- What is wrong with me?
- I hope I can get through school tomorrow without crying in the bathroom.
- Only Steph knows the truth, and she won't tell.
- There was an awkward silence, and I could feel him looking at me.
- "You're like, perfect."
- "Did you and Zach fuck?"
- "Zach dumped me, right?"
- "What if I have waxy build-up in my ear?!"
- "As long as your boobs aren't pointy. I hate pointy boobs."
- "HIM BOOK." Get it? Like "Hymn book," only stupid.
- "Go out with me, Stupid."
- "Hanson Posters: 85. Other Posters: 17."
- Jenna was trying to make herself throw up and Lisa was laughing.
- "But I don't have that much experience... only you."
- I think we are soul mates.
- "Did you hear the rumors?"
- I didn't defend myself. I never do.
- But he was on top of me and I didn't want to disappoint him.
- Aaron said he had heard that Zach "ate me out."
- ...then people would think I am even more of a slut than they already do.
- "You think you can trust him, but you really can't."
- I was seriously considering just killing myself.
- Hump 'em and Dump 'em!
- Why did you all of a sudden hate me after we went to third base?
- I didn't feel the pain of it right away. I was just shocked.
- I went upstairs and lay down on my parents' bed.
- I'm kind of hoping all Zach's friends will ditch him.
- Zach told Michelle a really mean joke about Jewish people.
- I feel like I've been ripped in half and gutted.
- "Do you wanna... go out... oh, nevermind, you're a bitch."
- At least he took the time to notice me.
- We'll fight in the graveyard after school on Monday.
- It's still hard for her to let go.
- I think I could hold my own in a fight, but everyone would be rooting for HER.
- Suddenly, her face turned angry and she pushed me into the lockers, hard.
- People are saying that Steph is going to beat me up.
- What goes around comes around, doesn't it?
- "You should go out with Scott." I slammed my head into the table.
- Something sharp. A little slit. And that would be the end of it.
- I'm practicing being nice to everyone and I have made some new kind-of-friends.
- All of a sudden, I felt someone pinch my butt!
- "Those nice, pretty hands... just like you did for Zach."
- Oh, I only wish I could talk to him or something!
- That was my first real date, and my parents didn't know about it.
- "Would you ever kiss Nathan?"
- "Scott told us you made out with him."
- "If everyone found out, they would think I'm a slut even more."
- "He's going to come over there and beat you up."
- "Three way! Orgy!" And the moment was ruined.
- She looked really pretty today and I wanted to rip her head off.
- Maybe he's falling out of love.
- "When are you going to kiss me?"
- "Emily, do you like it up the pooper?"
- "People give me shit about what you did with Zach."
- The phone wasn't ringing, so I was super depressed.
- "See this dog? This is my lesbian lover."
- Everyone just thinks I'm a slut and I hate it.
- "Want to hook up tomorrow?"
- I stood still and told him to stop it, and he stuck his hand up my shirt.
- I shouldn't even be liking boys yet, honestly.
- Nathan and I broke up because he found out what I did with Chris Walker.
- I was completely covered in shaving cream and I was freezing cold.
- He doesn't seem to judge me because of the reputation I have for being a slut.
- "Stop twitching your stomach!"
- Alicia told me she doesn't like me because I follow her around.
- I am a really big flirt, but deep down I am a really big prude.
- I'm going to stop acting so outgoing so boys will not call me a slut.
- I need a boyfriend. I don't care who, but preferably someone cute.
- Some girls are going to rip my face off when they find out.
- I don't know what is going on! Seventh grade is flying by so fast!
- Matt has power over everyone - it is so annoying!
- "Why haven't you killed yourself yet, you stupid slut?"
- He keeps calling me a ho and a whore and a slut.
- Never wear underwear that gives you wedgies if you are going to dance.
- He is HORRIBLE to me. But I'm in LOVE with him!
- I hung up without saying goodbye, completely disgusted with myself.
- There was a dance last night and it was fun, I guess.
- "I judge boys by how long their schlong is."
- I almost wish I had a screwed up life so I could record all of my thoughts.
- As soon as we started dancing, he stepped on my toe.
- I've never seen his bad side, so I have just assumed that he doesn't have one.
- Everyone was talking about it and the boys were giving him high-fives.
- I like showing some cleavage sometimes, too.
- This was going to be a chick fight!
- We decided to keep it on the down low, go in, use the pay phone, and leave.
- "He doesn't like me? Because I have big boobs?"
- Music by Enya would be playing.
- I feel awful for people who are not "popular" because they cannot enjoy it.
- Daniel tackled me and as soon as I got to my feet, Louis knocked me back down.
- "You know how much we love 'N Sync."
- "I bet they're having sex!"
- You only want to dance with Emily because she's got big... titawkaninnies.
- Romance Coupon: Allows Bearer Naked Cuddling
- I purposefully gave myself laryngitis by screaming a lot into a pillow.
- Ms. Metcalf laughs when Matt calls me a slut in class.
- "This is so stupid."
- "She told me SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE IN JESUS!"
- Then he grabbed her and tried to force her to do it.
- I was petrified. If he tried anything, I wouldn't be able to move.
- "Who thinks Emily Lindin is a slut?" They all raised their hands.
- They were all scrutinizing my chest, and I felt very self-conscious.
- I get to shave my legs, have big boobs, and complain about PMS.
- I panicked and flashed them really quickly.
- He still has that hold on me.
- I was just smashed up against him and I couldn't breathe.
- "Don't you EVER fucking TOUCH me again, you STUPID SLUT!"
- "But what if you never got back together?"
- He knew I was going to dump him so he wanted to dump me first.
- "Maybe you should flash them, just to get them off my case."
- The only guy that went out with you for a reason other than your tits!
- "May I put my tongue on your stomach?"
- Someone took a picture of it.
- A dramatic change
- "I would take a bullet for her."
- "I am NOT sending you naked pictures of myself!"
- "i love u also i want u to let me squeeze ur boobs"
- I am a self-centered, spoiled bitch.
- I'm not going to go out with anyone else now, not until high school.
- I broke up with Zach.
- "We walked to her house, ate her Cheetos, and left."
- If I want to have a relationship with him, I can't be trashy.
- I try to tell her they are trouble, but she doesn't listen.
- The type of place where you could just sit, smoke a cigarette, and think.
- "What the hell is a tease?"
- Then I slit my left wrist with the razor I use to shave my legs.
- I am going to go on a liquid diet and eat only freeze pops.
- I decided not to tell anyone.
- "I don't care how big her boobs are, don't believe her."
- They got sick of her poser-slut act, and now it's just annoying.
- What a poser skank. Yuck.
- When they make fun of her, she thinks they're flirting.
- "Next time you think of hurting yourself, think of me instead."
- I like dancing with lots of random guys I don't know.
- At first, it felt kind of good.
- She will obsess over Matt, and then she will get her ass kicked. LOL.
- She shouldn't even be having sex.
- I jumped out of the way as she landed flat on her face.
- He just kind of stood there dejectedly.
- "I'll go out with him, but he needs to ask me himself."
- "I was gonna ask you out but I was too afraid."
- He looked extremely uncomfortable, and I felt the same way.
- We hoped putting a spell on her would make her stop being a slut.
- "What the hell is an onion ass?"
- There's been a lot of talk that the world is going to end tonight.
- Like, the world didn't end.
- Intimate sex versus "wild monkey sex."
- It hurt like hell.
- They made a webpage about how stupid and slutty she is.
- i want emily very badly
- I guess I need more practice in understanding everything.
- "Shut up, Bitch!" he said, and swung his fist into my eye.
- "Who will have cyber sex?"
- "She cuts her wrists, why not punch herself in the eye?"
- I am so infatuated by him, I can't even stand it.
- "If you come one step closer, I will personally feed you to rabid goats."
- I'm not saying I didn't provoke it
- I almost cried out of pure joy.
- I felt really... horny. I guess.
- We told the waitress it was my birthday, even though it wasn't.
- IMAQTpieNUlikeit
- "How are you doing?" "Bad. You just broke up with me."
- "Guess who likes you!"
- Now the question is only when he is going to ask me out.
- If I don't let him manipulate me, then I can't get hurt.
- I won't ever be able to trust him, and I don't want to!
- They're becoming really bad, and I don't want them to screw up.
- Matt hooked up with Lisa, which just shows what sluts they both are!
- Scattered Pieces
- Matt told him you are a slut and he is not into that.
- I kinda want to go out with him, but I also love being single.
- Not caring. That is definitely the way to go.
- "Would you ever let a guy eat you out?"
- A genuine smile that starts on the inside and shines its way through to my face.
- Our mouths were right next to each other!
- "Good job, man!"
- Kill List
- "Please don't tell anyone."
- "He hates you now, and so do we."
- What a weirdo.
- Your Life
- We act like very, very good friends
- "Easy-access" outfit
- That thing I loved about him that I couldn't identify is gone, now.
- Rules To Live By
- "That's my girlfriend!"
- Coolness.
- That always works for you... that look
- I'm scared to actually have to face them every day.
- I felt like Cinderella.
- "The Last Day of School."
- Afterword: A Video Message from Emily
- Sneak Peek: My Current Novel!