January 15, 1998
When I went to pick up Steph today so we could walk to the bus stop together, she came out the front door of her house and asked, “Are you sad?”
I answered, “I don’t know. Why?”
“Because when I tell you this, you’re going to be so happy. Last night, Zach called Hannah and he dumped her. He said it was because yesterday at Curb Café, he realized he liked you more!”
At first it seemed too good to be true and I couldn’t believe her. But when we got to school, people were betting money on whether or not I would go back out with him. Steph said it was very important to keep him in suspense, so every time someone asked me, I just said, “Maybe,” trying to sound cryptic.
Emma came up to me and said, “Please don’t go back out with him. I bet ten dollars you wouldn’t.”
Hunter came over to our table at lunch and said, “Please, please, please go back out with Zach.” I took advantage of the situation and answered, “Only if you go out with Jenna.” Jenna is embarrassingly obsessed with Hunter.
Hunter was like, “Maybe… more yes than no.” He kept pestering me, but with Hannah sitting across from me with tears in her eyes, I didn’t know what to do. All through the afternoon, I thought about it.
Okay, I knew I would end up saying yes, I just didn’t know when or how. Strangely enough, Hannah was hanging around with me during gym class and shared with me her plan to go out with Ryan.
After school, Zach called. He asked, “Are you mad at me?”
“No. Why do you always think I’m mad at you?”
“You always seem like it. Weren’t you mad at me at Curb Café?”
“Yes, because you were going out with Hannah.”
“Well, I dumped her because I like you.”
At that point, my heart fluttered kind of uncontrollably. I didn’t answer.
He continued, “Will you go out with me?”
Before answering, I explained to him my theory about him using me as a backup plan. He denied it, of course. Then he said one of the sweetest things I’ve ever heard him say: “You know what? You’re so well-rounded. You’re notonly pretty or only popular or only smart, you’re everything, equally. You’re like, perfect.”
I said, “Thanks, that was nice,” stupidly. We talked for another hour or so about everything. I guess we’re going out again.
[What sixth grader has ten dollars to bet on the relationship (or lack of relationship) between two classmates? I am struck by how communal the whole process was. At least Zach said something that was actually nice to me this time. Way to go, Zach.]
YOU ARE READING
The UnSlut Project
Non-FictionI was the 6th-grade "slut." And I kept a diary. So I decided to create The UnSlut Project in the hopes that my own diary entries could provide some perspective to girls who currently feel trapped and ashamed. I am publishing these entries one at a...
