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    Running With Scissors
    Running With Scissors
    Sam_le_fou
    • Reads
      Reads 269,077
      269,077269K
    • Votes
      Votes 15,788
      15,78815.7K
    • Parts
      Parts 42
      4242
    • Time
      Time 9h 16m
      9 hours, 16 minutes9h 16m
    Start reading
    • Reads
      Reads 269,077
      269,077269K
    • Votes
      Votes 15,788
      15,78815.7K
    • Parts
      Parts 42
      4242
    • Time
      Time 9h 16m
      9 hours, 16 minutes9h 16m
    Sam_le_fou
    Complete
    Complete, First published Sep 07, 2018
    Diagnosed with a terminal illness, Peter Katz hires a hitman to take him out. But when a cure is discovered, Peter's got to outrun the assassin to stay alive!
        
        *****
        
        When douchebag lawyer Peter Katz gets diagnosed with terminal cancer, he wants to die painlessly. Still, death seems to elude his every attempt, so he hires an assassin to kill him at a random time and place within the month. Unfortunately for Peter, right after he orders the hit, a treatment is discovered that would add decades to his life. Now Peter Katz has to start running, until the month-long deadline ends. Desperate to survive, he has to deal with tall-dwarves, unionized suicide workers, art terrorism and all the insanity that being alive has to offer. Will he make it to the end of the month? Or will Peter Katz live a life's worth of craziness in however many days he has left?
        
        For what is Comedy, but Tragedy + Time?
        
        [[word count: 100,000-150,000 words]]
    All Rights Reserved
    • absurdist
    • action
    • adult
    • adventure
    • cancer
    • comedy
    • contemporary
    • dark
    • darkhumor
    • friendship
    • hitman
    • humor
    • legal
    • suspense
    • thriller
    absurdistactionadultadventurecancercomedycontemporarydarkdarkhumorfriendshiphitmanhumorlegalsuspensethriller
    Table of contentsLast updated Dec 05, 2020
    • The Beginning, Where Nothing Much Happens Until It Suddenly Does
    • Still The Beginning, But A Bit Later
    • The Astoundingly Foolish Life Of James Truman-Conelly. Brought to You by Wendy's
    • Sarah McGuffin, Administrative Assistant
    • Deux Ex Fried Chicken
    • Save the Whales, or Something
    • Memento Mori
    • Life Is Like A Box Of Nuggets
    • A.S.W
    • Seriously, Clamato is Gross
    • The Seven Deaths of Peter Katz
    • Gargantuan Jellybeans
    • That's About the Last Mayor Character of the Story
    • The Six Stages of Grief
    • When Dancing, Always Leave Some Room For Kierkegaard
    • Animal Idioms and Other Non-Sequitur
    • Chekhov's Scorpion
    • Mindful Eggducation
    • The Pen is Pointier Than The Sword
    • #PleaseDontBeLikePeter
    • A Mime, A Hipster, And A Frenchman Walk Into A Bar
    • Ce N'est Pas Un Titre
    • The Middle of The Story, Give or Take a Few Chapters
    • Deux Ex Fried Redux
    • The Chapter Where Peter Finally Dies, And Stays Dead
    • Don't Blame Karma For Your Own Stupidity
    • Between A Rock And A Dumb Place: A CYOA Chapter
    • Cheerful Pessimism
    • Hawaiian Pizza Makes Logical Sense, But Tastes Like Sadness
    • Puppies Are The Root Of Anxiety
    • WWCD?
    • Vignettes From The Good, The Bad, And The Dumbass
    • *Insert Corny Title Here*
    • Tituba The Butcher's Bizarre Travesy
    • Chicanery In The Coal Mine
    • No Pugs Were Harmed In The Making Of This Chapter
    • We Will Always Have Vegas
    • Katzkaesque
    • The End, Where Everything Is Wrapped Up With A Neat Little Bow
    • Playing With Matches: Now In Technicolor!
    • Buyer Beware: Paid Story Notice
    • ✂️A VERY "RUNNING WITH SCISSORS" XMASS✂️

    Get notified when Running With Scissors is updated

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    #26comedy
    • The Beginning, Where Nothing Much Happens Until It Suddenly Does
    • Still The Beginning, But A Bit Later
    • The Astoundingly Foolish Life Of James Truman-Conelly. Brought to You by Wendy's
    • Sarah McGuffin, Administrative Assistant
    • Deux Ex Fried Chicken
    • Save the Whales, or Something
    • Memento Mori
    • Life Is Like A Box Of Nuggets
    • A.S.W
    • Seriously, Clamato is Gross
    • The Seven Deaths of Peter Katz
    • Gargantuan Jellybeans
    • That's About the Last Mayor Character of the Story
    • The Six Stages of Grief
    • When Dancing, Always Leave Some Room For Kierkegaard
    • Animal Idioms and Other Non-Sequitur
    • Chekhov's Scorpion
    • Mindful Eggducation
    • The Pen is Pointier Than The Sword
    • #PleaseDontBeLikePeter
    • A Mime, A Hipster, And A Frenchman Walk Into A Bar
    • Ce N'est Pas Un Titre
    • The Middle of The Story, Give or Take a Few Chapters
    • Deux Ex Fried Redux
    • The Chapter Where Peter Finally Dies, And Stays Dead
    • Don't Blame Karma For Your Own Stupidity
    • Between A Rock And A Dumb Place: A CYOA Chapter
    • Cheerful Pessimism
    • Hawaiian Pizza Makes Logical Sense, But Tastes Like Sadness
    • Puppies Are The Root Of Anxiety
    • WWCD?
    • Vignettes From The Good, The Bad, And The Dumbass
    • *Insert Corny Title Here*
    • Tituba The Butcher's Bizarre Travesy
    • Chicanery In The Coal Mine
    • No Pugs Were Harmed In The Making Of This Chapter
    • We Will Always Have Vegas
    • Katzkaesque
    • The End, Where Everything Is Wrapped Up With A Neat Little Bow
    • Playing With Matches: Now In Technicolor!
    • Buyer Beware: Paid Story Notice
    • ✂️A VERY "RUNNING WITH SCISSORS" XMASS✂️
    Report this story
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    Marked by the Alpha

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    "You are mine," He murmured across my skin. He inhaled my scent deeply and kissed the mark he gave me. I shuddered as he lightly nipped it. "Danny, you are mine and only mine, you understand?" Daniel...

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