I called out his name at the top of my lungs but he didn't turn back instead he just kept walking. We were building a strong friendship, i can't let it crumble. He reached his car and my heart shattered.
"Sam please stop" i pleaded my tears threatening to spill again. He stopped but didn't turn to face me instead he just faced the other way with his head hanging low. I felt like i owed him an explanation.
"Jack is my close friend." I say standing behind him in my pink wanzi.
"I'm sure he is." He said i could sense the sadness in his voice. His voice sounded defeated like when we were in high school. The anger hidden in a way that you knew he was doing his best to hold himself back.
"Is it me?"he asks while turning to face me .
"Excuse me?" I ask feeling afraid now that im face to face with him. I now could see the raging storm im his eyes. A storm i last saw in high school. The storm was back and that sent a shivers down my spine. I started breathing heavily and my hands were shaking mercilessly.
"What does he have that i don't have?" Sam asks calmly. The calm before the mighty storm.
"I give you my attention, patience and love. Rosy i give you my all and in return. In return all i get is rejection. Why do yoy hate me Rosy! Tell me, tell me why you hate me please explain what im lacking?" He shouts with so much pain in his voice. His eyes reddening and his own tears threatening to spill.
"I don't hate you Sam I I............"
"If you don't hate me then why don't you love me? Why Rosy please tell me. Tell me what it will take for you to reciprocate my love please i beg you." He say and takes both my hands into his. Now i realise his hands are also bruised. His eyes brimmed with tears.
"Please don't start this topic again. I don't know how many times i have to tell you this but i don't have feelings for you. I can't force myself to like you in that way Sam." I answer hoping he would understand. Please let him understand.
"And i can't force myself to stop loving you " he says
"I was the foolish guy who loved you from a distance . When we were paired in science class i knew we needed to be together. We are perfect for each other Rosy."
"Sam stop it! Just move on, there are so many girls who want you please!" I say angrily. There is no need to track back into the past. Why was he doing this?
"Don't you think i have tried? Do you think i enjoy the fact that you haunt my dreams every night yet in reality i can't have you. So many girls i have been with to try and wipe yoy from my memory i just can't Rosy !"
"Sam please "
"No let me finish............ I never knew love growing up. I hated this world and everything in it. My own mom used to tell me everyday that she hates me, every single day i was reminded how my father abandoned me. I was told nobody would ever love me. Well life went on and i got used to it. Its not my fault i got in the wrong side of the law i had to survive." He says a tear escaping one of his eyes which he quickly wiped off.
"People hated me after i can out of Juvenile. I gave up on love, life and everything else." He stays silent for a minute before continuing
" The best decision i have ever made, well so i thought was returning to school to prove that im not a loser. That's where i met you, my sweetness in the midst of a bitter life. Although i couldn't properly express it, i had strong feelings for you .Now i regret meeting you." He says while opening the door to his car.
"My first love." He says while turning and facing me again. "Rosy you are my first and only love."
"Stop it! I have had it up to here Sam shut up! What's wrong with you? I have been repeating myself for years. Can we just move on and........." i say losing it. How many times should i repeat myself before he understands that i don't love him.
"Don't!" He spits straight to my face , looking me in the eye.
"Don't say just move on. You have never been inlove with someone so much that it consumes you then get rejected. So you don't.." his pointy finger on my face, karma " You don't understand how difficult it is."
"Sam stop, stop saying that! Its just as hard for me to listen to you saying all this things. You are making me feel like a monster, like i don't care. I told you the most i can offer is friendship. I can't force myself to fall inlove with you, im sorry i can't. " i say feeling emotionally weak. Why did all this drama have to happen today of all days.
"So you are inlove with him?" He asks angrily.
"Please don't drag him into this. It has nothing to do with him. I know its hard but you and i will never be. So please try, if you truly love me you would try and move on and be happy. I promise, you will find true love someone who will love you just as much as you love them." I plead
He looks into my eyes and all i could see was hurt in his eyes. It makes me feel horrible. He has been hurt enough in his past, he has gone through so much pain. He deserves happiness amd it pains me that i can't be the one to fully provide him with all the happiness this world could offer. Instead im adding to his pain. I feel like im excavating all the pains he was beginning to bury.
"Rosy its impossible forgetting you" he says in a defeated voice.
"Try for my sake."
"No" he says.
"What!" I ask a little surprised. I thought he was coming around.
"I wont ever stop loving you. " he says with the bitterness dominant in his voice. I try holding to his hand but he whacks it off.
"I will never ever forgive you Rosy. I won't ever forgive you for keeping me from being with the girl i love." He says
"Rosy one day you are going to look back on this day and regret letting me go." He adds , gets in his car and drives off. I cry standing alone in the parking lot. I wipe away the tears.
My legs feel so heavy, i slowly drag them back my room. I stand outside the door and sigh.
You always said you wanted excitement in your life Rosy, deal with it.
I open the door and find him sitting comfortably on my bed, eating my popcorn, watching MY movies. Totally engrossed he didn't even notice when i entered.
I clear my throat and wait for him to give me his attention. As always he, ignores me.
I clear my throat again and he ignores me again. Now its infuriating me.
"A- HEM!!!"
"Roe if you're having problems with your throat ,drink some water." Jack freaking Bolten says without looking at me for a minute.
"Im still angry at you." I say
"I figured "
"Jack why are you always like this? Incase no one told you its freaking annoying. You are so dismissive, like you don't care what i have to say. How your actions hurt my feelings. You are so mean " after the scream fest with Sam i was no longer in the mood to fight. Atleast what i said managed to get his attention. I feel something flowing down my cheek.
No!
No!
Why am i a crying wreck today? Get it together fool i say to myself trying to wipe away the tears that kept flowing. I kept gasping feeling weak and embarassed. The next thing i feel is being smashed into Jack's bare chest. I don't resist, maybe this is what i need. After crying for a while we finally let go of our embrace .
We are so different. Im a boring girl from a small town and he is a rich model who is used to things going his way. He wants things to go his way, talk to me when HE wants, sees me when HE wants. What about me. He is not the only one with issues. We all have issues but we don't behave like him. Why am i so attracted to him?
"Rosy i hope you're fine. I hope he didn't hurt you." He asks looking at me everywhere from head to toe . I don't realise when his hands find my cheeks and it catches me off guard.
"Im okay." I say removing his hand from my face. I need to rest, he needs to leave.
"I decided to give space you know. You and that guy. I hope you got to clear up your issues but now its my turn to clear the issues between us." He says i cross my arms indicating that he has my attention.
"I don't like this distance that i have created between us. Its my fault and you have every right to be angry. Im so sorry for being a jerk." He says
"A dubious fooolish asshole." I add
"Yes and that too...."
" you are a dunce dipstick idiotic imbecile." I continue
"You are stretching it." He says with a smile " I promise that you are important to me. I care about and would never intentionally hurt you. There is no excuse for what i did im just a dumbass."
"You need to learn to communicate with me. I can't continue with this relationship if i feel is forced. I want you to want to be with me just as much as i want to be with you." I empty the words before even thinking about it. That sounded so wierd gosh, like we are dating or something. I cringe so bad. He looks at me for sometime before responding . There is this bizarre awkward tension between us. His glare makes me shudder instantly.
He smirks looking me dead in the eye. I blush and look down. My eyes are puffy, my hair, gosh i look horrible.
He pulls my head forcing me to look at him.
"I will try my best." He says then ruffles my hair then hugs me tightly.
"Why do always ruffle my hair. Its ridiculous." I say. He giggles kissing the top of my head.
"I want to take you somewhere. Take a shower and wear something nice." He says letting me go.
"Where do you want want to take me?" I say wiggling my eyebrows playfully and smiling. I could see the look in his eye changing.
I could not believe when his hands encircled my waist pulling me closer. My heart started thudding out of control due to our closeness.
"Stop that, let me go" i say my voice was very unconvincing. Then he stared at my lips smirking. I don't no why i was pulling back trying my best to break out of his hold. It felt scary, yes i said it scary. What if he is using me, what if im the only one feeling butterflies in my stomach. His face kept coming closer and closer.
" Jack what are you doing?" I whisper breathlessly. He smiles
"Don't take too long. " he says pecks my cheek and winks before leaving me and jumping on the bed focusing back on the laptop. I smile foolishly without moving, standing on the very same spot hr left me.
"Rosy i know im hypnotic but please go and get ready you have been standing on the same place for more than five minutes now" ...................
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THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT GUYS.
Don't forget to vote, comment and correct me where necessary.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
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