The past six months have been very stressful. Neither Harry nor I have been able to visit each other or have a break. There was a weekend in June that looked good, but something happened at Harry's work last minute and I thought it would be best to not visit.
Stephen has been acting out and I can only think that it's due to his limited contact with Harry. It also doesn't help that I haven't been in a good mood either from not seeing Harry in half a year.
However, I'm hoping it all ends today because Harry is coming to our house for Stephen's birthday and plans on staying for at least two weeks. One week will be spent at home with everyone and the other will be just Harry and I in the city. Stephen will join us for the weekend and see Harry off, but the five days in the middle will be me and Harry, alone.
Margaret took Stephen and I to pick Harry up at the airport. I would have brought myself, but I was too overwhelmed. I didn't trust myself to drive so Margaret offered.
"I bet you both are very excited to see Harry again, yes?" She questions us from the front seat.
"Yes! I haven't seen him in so so so long. I can't wait to show him how good I am at soccer, or what he calls it, football." Stephen speaks first. When he says the word 'football' he mimics what he thinks Harry sounds like causing Margaret and I to laugh.
She looks in the rearview mirror and makes eye contact with me. "And you, Morgan, any new skills to show Harry?"
I gape at her, not expecting her to make such a crude joke with Stephen here. "Absolutely not. Just planning on taking him on the boat again. This time maybe showing him how to fish or actually ride a horse."
Instead of responding, she just gives me a look which makes me roll my eyes and sit back in my seat.
"I also have more drawings to show and give him. Do you think he brought me a birthday present? Does he know it's my birthday today?" Stephen starts speaking again and asks me.
I nod my head at him. "He definitely knows it's your birthday, bubs. As for a present, I can't promise anything, but he did call and ask what you wanted a few weeks ago."
"Yay!" He cheers. "How much longer until we see him?" He continues to question.
"I don't know, it's sooner than it was five minutes ago."
He groans and throws himself back on the seat, being dramatic.
Deciding it's best to keep him entertained, I pull out my phone and hand it to him. "Play a game, it will make the time go by quicker."
Immediately, he sits up and grabs it. The rest of the ride goes about the same. Stephen asks questions every once in a while but mostly plays on my phone. I, on the other hand, stare out the window watching the cars and trees pass.
Margaret drops us off and says she'll wait at the curb. We get out and make our way into the airport.
"Harry!" Stephen screams and begins jumping up and down, still holding my hand, when he sees him from across the baggage claim.
My dad had offered to send the jet for Harry, but he refused, preferring to take a public flight. He's very environmentally conscious.
This obviously catches Harry's attention and he begins to make his way towards us. As I expected, Stephen meets him halfway and jumps so Harry will catch him. My boyfriend, who also planned on this happening, grabs him in mid-air and hugs him to his body.
Stephen is getting older and bigger now, but it doesn't phase me when Harry grabs him with minimal effort. They're too far away busy and the airport is too for me to overhear their conversation, but Stephen and Harry both look like they're the happiest they've ever been, bringing a smile to my face.
Last time I felt this way, I panicked because I didn't want Harry to get tired of me and leave both Stephen and I heartbroken.
"Harry." I breathe out, not fully believing he's here in front of me.
"Hello, darling." He gives me a bright smile and wraps his arms around me, bringing me into the best hug I've had since I left England after his birthday weekend.
Melting into the hug, I wish we could stay like this forever. Stephen, however, has other plans. After he thinks he's given us enough time, he yanks Harry back and they continue talking about some video game.
I grab one of Harry's suitcases to which he protests but gives in when I take his hand in mine. If he held the suitcase, I wouldn't be able to have physical contact with him like I so desperately need.
I have never been a touchy feely person until I met Harry. Something about him just makes me want to constantly be touching or touched by him.
When we get to the car, which is only a short walk away, Harry sits between Stephen and I. He rests his hand on my thigh, but I end up grasping it between my hands, aimlessly drawing patterns on both sides.
The drive feels a lot shorter on the way home than it did on the way there, but we're all caught up in conversation, including Margaret.
Pulling up to the house, I see my dad and brothers ready to greet us as soon as we get out of the car.
"Mr. Stevens." Harry smiles towards my dad.
"How many times have I told you to just call me John?" He responds as he holds his hand out for Harry to shake.
The rest of my brothers greet Harry the same. It's nice to see that they get along. At first, I wasn't sure how their relationships would be because of how Eric treated me. They had this idea that any man that I was involved with was the worst person.
My dad grabs Harry's things and puts them in the guest room making me roll my eyes. I force myself to keep my mouth shut because I don't want to start anything. I want these next two weeks to be fight free and just nice.
I hope that, like last year, Harry and I would get to see each other at least once a month and the past six months was just a little blip in our relationship. Not that it was bad and we broke up or anything, but the physical intimacy is just as important as mental and emotional and we were lacking in that. On top of missing Harry, I miss Brian and everyone else in England.
We all get settled into the living room. Harry wanted to just relax and catch up with everyone rather than doing something today. I understand because travelling is exhausting, especially if you take jet lag and time changes into consideration.
I sit down next to Harry, our hands intertwined and resting on his lap. Stephen sits next to me and lays his head on my shoulder. He's a little tired too because we had to wake up early to pick Harry up.
"Bub, you can go take a nap if you want to." I whisper to Stephen. "Harry will be here when you wake up."
He shakes his head but his eyes close. A few minutes later, everyone hears light snores coming from him.
"I'll bring him up to his room." Harry tells me and picks Stephen up, leaving to bring him to his room.
"It's good to see him again." Charlie speaks up.
I nod in agreement. "It is."
When Harry gets back, my dad looks at him and decides to ask, "Have you looked into any new homes in London? Last time we spoke you were thinking of moving?" Which is true. Harry was getting bored with his house. I suggested a remodel or redecoration but he decided he wanted a whole new one.
"Actually, I've been looking around at some places around here." Harry says nervously, looking at his hands in his lap.
My head snaps to look at him. "I'm sorry, what?" I ask him, trying not to get angry since we've had this conversation multiple times and always landed on the decision of waiting until we were engaged.
"That's really great, Harry. I'm happy to hear." My dad interrupts.
"Can you repeat what you said, I think I misunderstood?" I ask Harry again.
He clears his throat and speaks. "I said I was looking at houses around here to buy."
"I think that's a little premature, don't you?"
Harry shakes his head. "No, I don't." He stands his ground, angering me.
"Excuse me, I need to go get another drink." I tell the rest of my family having just finished my glass of wine and wanting another one.
My boyfriend gets up and follows after me. "Morgan, can we please go talk about this?"
Because Harry and I haven't seen each other in what feels like forever, we have a few things that we haven't spoken about. There are certain things that should be in person conversations and this is one. Before we even start, I know this is not going to go so well.
"Darling, I've just been looking at what's around and what good deals are for the area. It isn't like I've gone and toured any or put a down-payment on one. The continuation of you pushing me away and not planning for the future really upsets me." He says, leaning against the counter.
I sigh and move to stand in front of him, my glass now full again. "My whole life has not gone according to plan, it's what I'm used to. But I am planning. It's a different plan than what you have, but it's a plan. Getting engaged and then moving in together is what I want. Harry, I'm sorry, but as I've told you many times before, I won't move in until we're engaged."
"Morgan, come on! We're committed to each other already and you wouldn't accept a proposal if I were to give you one right now. What's the harm in just looking at houses?" He asks me exasperatedly.
"No, I wouldn't accept a proposal because I want to finish school first and I don't see what's so wrong with that?" I move my arms to exaggerate my point, careful not to spill my wine.
Harry lets out a deep breath and turns around, filling his glass of water up, effectively not looking at me when he speaks. "You're not thinking about what I want when you say that. I want to move in together and get married."
"And that can wait another year or so." I tell him, stepping closer, going to reach out and touch him.
"What if it can't?" He turns around to look at me.
I take a step away from him, back in my original position, tears now in my eyes. "Excuse me?"
His hand runs through his hair, his face showing signs of stress. "What if I don't want to wait another year?"
"Well that's tough because that's how long you'll be waiting." I want to put an end to this conversation now that I feel myself getting too upset. We both need a break for now, we're getting too worked up and angry. "Let's take a breather before round two." I sigh before going to walk away.
I'm stopped by Harry's hand on my arm pulling me back to him and making me look him in the eyes. "Darling, I don't want you to be angry with me. I just want to spend the rest of my life with you and I want that to start as soon as possible. I turned thirty this year. It's just a lot later in my life than I thought I would be starting a family and it's stressing me out."
"I want the same, but I really do think it's best if we at least wait until I graduate." I try to give him a smile, but I know it doesn't show. "I understand that you're thirty and you expected to have a family by now, but you focused on your career for a lot of the years where other people were having relationships and kids. It's not a bad thing, but you have to be patient for me to do the same."
"And how far away is graduation?" His hands have made their way to my face, wiping a stray tear that escaped as I tried to walk away.
"About ten months."
He lets out a deep breath he was holding. "I guess I can wait for that."
"A little longer, maybe after I pass the BAR?" I step closer and wrap my arms around his waist, hands resting on his lower back, neck craning up to keep eye contact. "It is nice to know how committed to me you are."
"And the same for you, darling. I love you."
"I love you too. Now, let's go back out there like we didn't just have an argument, shall we?"
"One more thing." He says before placing his lips on mine.
I smile into the kiss and grab his shirt in my fists. Harry's hands reach down to my butt and give it a light squeeze. I then slide my hands to his face and lightly push back. "Let's go."
Our hands intertwine and we walk out of my room towards the living room to rejoin my family. Harry sits on the floor between my legs and my hands begin to play with his hair. Stephen comes and lays down next to me and copies my actions, his hands going to Harry's hair as well.
The rest of the week goes by great. The Sunday before we leave for our week in the city, Harry comes to Stephen's soccer lessons and watches on as a proud parent, making my heart swell with love.
"You're doing really well!" Harry tells Stephen as we make our way to the car.
My son hums in agreement. "I really like playing. Grandpa showed me mom's pictures and videos of her playing and she was so good. I want to play like her when I'm older."
"Aw bubs," I run my hand through his hair and hide my slight blush of embarrassment, "you are going to be much better than I was. I already know it."
We pile into the car which I drive home. When we get out, lunch is ready for us in the backyard. Stephen, Harry and I get dressed in our bathing suits, eat and then go for a swim.
On top of playing soccer, Stephen is also very into swimming. He begged to take lessons and join a team and of course I couldn't say no. I want him to do things he enjoys.
Harry walks up behind me in the pool as I'm watching Stephen jump off the diving board. "Hello darling." He nuzzles his face into my neck and his arms go around my waist.
"Hi." I say weakly because his lips are on my neck, leaving quick kisses and small bites causing me to swallow a moan.
I usually would stop him from doing anything like this in front of Stephen, but he can't be bothered. He's diving under the water to grab toys or jumping into the pool from all different angles.
"I missed you." Harry mumbles into my skin.
I turn around in his arms, resting my elbows on his shoulders and playing with his wet hair. "Then good thing we have five days in New York City together." I kiss his cheek. "In a nice hotel room." I kiss his other cheek. "Alone." I give him a kiss on the lips.
He groans into my mouth and squeezes my sides. "Are we okay?"
My face screws into a look of questioning. "Why wouldn't we be?"
"I've just been thinking back to our fight when I first got here." He says and my heart sinks. "We haven't seen each other in six months and the first day we do, we have a fight. I just want to make sure we're still good."
"People fight, it's normal, Harry. I'd be concerned if we didn't find something to argue about while you're on this trip. We haven't been in the same country for six months, we just have to reconnect. Which is why this week is important. We're fine, babe, please don't worry about anything. We love each other. Soon enough, we'll be able to see each other every single day." I soothe both him and myself. I would be lying if I said I didn't think the same thing he did.
We'll work it out and it will get better. I'm hopeful for our future, especially since I only have a year left in law school. We'll get through whatever life has in store for us.