(A/N: These were written a while back, so on MDW this was actually posted a couple days after my birthday :D)
--Time Waster # 23--
Sal: MOVE IT PEOPLE! WE HAVE EXACTLY FIVE HOURS!
Alfred: That's a lot of time...
Sal: I DID NOT ASK FOR YOUR OPINION, MISTER!
Alfred: Jeez Ms. Bossy, what's gotten into you?
Sal: Cami's birthday!! Now move it!
Alfred: *Quickly walks away*.
Darren: Yeah, speaking of Cami, where is she?
Sal: In my trunk. Why?
Darren: :o Why is she in your trunk!?
Sal: Well you know how I panic under pressure.
Darren: What does that have to do with anything!?
Sal: She was catching onto the party thing!! I panicked and hit her with a chair.
Darren: Are you sure she's still alive!?
Sal: Well she was still breathing when I tossed her in the trunk so... Maybe?
Darren: I'm just gonna go... o_O
Sal: Okay well I'll be right back you guys!
Drew: Where are you going?
Sal: I need to pick up some explosives. *Starts to leave but turns back around* Oh, don't tell mom.
Drew: It's not like you could disappoint her anymore than you already have.
Sal: Harsh. *Leaves*.
*ONE HOUR LATER*
Cami: *Is pounding on the trunk* YOU BETTER LET ME OUT OF HERE SAL!! BECAUSE WHEN YOU DO, I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH WITH THIS... THIS... WHAT IS THIS!?
Sal: What?
Cami: Oh you're here. What's this pointy thing!?
Sal: *Sighs* Cami, there's a lot of pointy things in my trunk. You're going to have to be a little more specific.
Cami: Well it's not like I can see! But you threw me into a trunk full of pointy stuff!? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?
Sal: Everything. Duh.
Cami: LET ME OUT!!!
Sal: IT'S NOT READY YET!
Cami: What in the world are you talking about!?
*SILENCE*
Cami: ANSWER ME!! ... Sal? ... Where'd you go? Oh gosh.. she's setting up a bomb underneath the car, isn't she?
Sal: *Starts driving*.
Cami: IF YOU DRIVE ME INTO THE RIVER, I'LL DIE AND COME BACK TO HAUNT YOUR SORRY BUTT!
Sal: Oh, stop being so dramatic. *Hits a bump*.
Cami: OUCH!!!
Sal: It was just a bump!
Cami: No, I think I just got stabbed.
Sal: Are you bleeding?
Cami: Well I was stabbed...
Sal: *Sighs* Where were you stabbed, drama queen?
Cami: Hey!! My arm.
Sal: Well now we know you won't die!
Cami: I may not be able to see you, but I can hear the enthusiasm in your voice and I might just stab you with all this stuff back here when I get out.
Sal: Well that's unappreciated. We're here!
Cami: Is this where I die?
Sal: Shut up, Cami. *Gets out of the car and opens the trunk*.
Cami: *Jumps out and tackles Sal to the ground*.
Sal: AGH! ITS THE DEMON FROM HEL--
Cami: *Shoves a sock in Sal's mouth* There. *Gets up*.
Sal: *Spits sock out* Gross! Why did you shove your sock in my mouth!?
Cami: Oh that wasn't mine. I found it in a gym back in your trunk.
Sal: NOOO! THAT'S MASON'S!! OH MY GOOOOSSHH! AND THOSE WERE FROM THIS MORNING! I... am going... to die.
Cami: *Rolls her eyes* Now who's dramatic?
Sal: Whatever. Let's get inside so you can have fun and I can clean out my mouth. With windex. *Gags*.
*INSIDE*
Cami: What the heck?
Sal: WHY IS IT NOT FINISHED!?
Alfred: This is why we leave you in charge!!
Sal: UGH!
Cami: Ooh cake!
Sal: Whatever. Just light the freaking candles.
Darren: Hey, now we're all sixteen.
Alfred: But Cami looks like she's twelve, so...
Cami: You know what, you should be happy! Everytime we go out to eat at Perkins, they throw us discounts because they think I'm twelve.
Alfred: And that's something to be proud of?
Cami: Well I like their dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, so yes.
*LATER THAT NIGHT*
Cami: You realize that sometime this summer we're going to have to throw a party for Sal.
Alfred: You can do it for that Friend-Aversary thing you two do. I don't feel like throwing parties for people anymore.
Darren: You don't throw parties at all. In fact, you barely helped.
Alfred: I helped a lot!
Darren: Sitting on the couch and eating a bowl of popcorn from earlier so we could refill it with chips, doesn't exactly count as helping.
Alfred: I did more than that!
Darren: Oh, my apologies. You also broke a few cups.
Sal: What!?
Alfred: I cleaned it up!
Darren: Actually I did. When I tripped and fell onto the pile. Thanks for that.
Cami: Speaking of injuries, I never got my wound checked out.
Sal: It's not a wound.
Cami: It is too!
Darren: How did no one notice you walking around with a pointy object stuck in your arm?
Cami: I think I'm going to name it Carlos.
Sal: You name a lot of things Carlos.
Cami: ... I like Carlos.
*THE NEXT DAY*
Cami: *Walks into Sal's house* Hello!?
Darren: You should have knocked.
Alfred: It's Cami, she never knocks. Not even when she comes to my house.
Cami: SAL! WHY DID YOU CALL US TO MEET YOU HERE!? YOU'RE NOT EVEN HERE! *Walks into the kitchen*.
Alfred: Oh good idea, maybe she left a note.
Cami: Good thinking Alfred. I just wanted a sandwhich.
Alfred: *Rolls his eyes and takes a note off the fridge*.
"Dear Peeps,
Went to town, don't let Cami sacrifice the teddy bears for some insane 'ritual' again.
~Sal
P.S. The cake is a lie, don't eat it."
Alfred: What the heck? What cake? And how is it a lie?
Cami: *Sighs* You'd think that after eleven months, she'd let that teddy bear thing go.
Darren: Did it... work?
Cami: I wouldn't know if it could. Sal came in halfway through and started yelling at me for cutting off the heads of all her teddy bears.
Darren: o_O
Alfred: What is wrong with you?
Cami: Lots of things...
Sal: I'M BACK!
Cami: FINALLY!
Sal: *Comes into the kitchen with four baskets*.
Darren: So what did Cami intend to do with the teddy bears?
Sal: It was mainly their heads.. You really don't wanna know.
Darren: *Nods*.
Cami: What's with the baskets?
Sal: We're going Easter egg hunting.
Cami: I hope by we, you mean you.
Sal: Nope. I mean us.
Cami: Hahahah-- NO!
Sal: Oh, knock it off. *Hands everyone a basket*.
Alfred: Pink? Why'd you give me pink?
Sal: Well I wasn't going to give you the purple one. That's mine, Cami's is green, and Darren's is blue. Now we all have our favorite colors.
Alfred: I hate pink!
Sal: Well there weren't any other colors, so shut up!!
Alfred: >:(
Cami: I hope you realize that Easter was on Sunday, and today is Wednesday.
Sal: I know. But I spent Sunday freaking out about planning your birthday - only to have it fail the next day, might I add. And you can thank Darren and Alfred for tha--
Cami: SAL! Get to the point!
Sal: Oh, right. So when I heard they were having a Community Easter Egg hunt, I thought we owed it to ourselves to go.
Cami: I don't owe myself anything, and me better not start thinking I do.
Alfred: Um, what?
Cami: Well I know what I meant, and that's all that matters.
Alfred: *Shakes his head in confusion*.
Sal: Whatever. Let's go. Now.
Cami: Alright, alright. Don't be so bossy.
Sal: Shut up.
Cami: DIBS ON DRIVI--
Everyone But Cami: NO!!
Cami: That's really mean.
*AT THE EATER EGG HUNTING PLACE*
Cami: IT'S MINE! *Pulls egg towards her*.
Little Girl: NO ITS MINE! *Pulls egg back towards her*.
Cami: GIVE ME THE FREAKIN' EGG, KID!
L.G.: I WANT IT!
Cami: NO! I WANT IT BECAUSE ITS GREEN! AND I KNOW YOU HEARD ME CALL DIBS!
L.G.: BACK OFF, OLD LADY!
Cami: *Gasps* YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME OLD! I'M SIXTEEN, LITTLE GIRL!
L.G.: No, that's your IQ.
Cami: *Gasps* SAL!
L.G.: MOMMY!
Cami: Did you seriously just pull the mommy card!? That is so low.
L.G.: Well you just called your best friend over. How lame is that? What, you can't fight your own battles? LOSER.
Cami: *Gapes* YOU'RE NINE, TALK LIKE IT!!
Little Girl's Mom: What is going on here?
Cami: She's trying to take my egg!
L.G.M.: She's a little girl, just give her the egg.
Cami: No! It's mine!
Sal: *Walks over and sighs* Cami, you have got to be kidding me.
Cami: Give me the egg!
Sal: Just let her have it, Cami.
Cami: NO!
L.G.M.: Gosh grow up, you weirdo! Give her the freaking egg!
Sal: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Excuse me?
L.G.M.: What?
Sal: Don't talk to my best friend like that. She may be annoying, short, kinda stupid, extremely irresponsible and immature, seriously messed up in the--
Cami: SHE GETS IT!
Sal: Right. But you do not talk to my friends like that! Now let her have the egg before I cut both your heads off and feed you to my pet shark Carlos!!
Cami: Carlos is mine.
Sal: Be quiet.
Cami: Okay...
L.G.M.: *Quickly pulls her daughter away and runs*.
Cami: Thanks, buddy! :D
Sal: Yeah, yeah. Just stop putting me into situations where I have to yell at people.
Cami: Oh get over it. You needed to rage a little anyway. *Opens the plastic egg* SWEET! TEN BUCKS!
Sal: Really? *Takes the ten bucks* It's mine.
Cami: HEY!
Sal: Blame yourself, you're the one who put me into that situation. *Walks away*.
Cami: *Glares after Sal* I hate her.
Darren: No you don't.
Cami: -_-
(A/N: Sal wrote that note up there! :D And the line after that, that Alfred says.)
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