Shivaay was snoring softly when an excited Annika woke up half an hour before dawn and prepared herself for the day. In the past four days, Shivaay had insisted twenty times that he would talk to Kalyani if Annika was not a fan of the idea of keeping fast for him. And each time she had to assure him saying she wanted to do it and was not forced. She could not be forced, she said.
"I am still saying. I will talk to her if you don't want to," Shivaay's voice filled her ears when she was about to step out of their room.
"Did I wake you up? Sorry," she apologized.
"Uh, the sound of the shower woke me up earlier," he said.
"Oh, sorry. I couldn't just leave the room in the morning without showering," Annika said. There was this puja factor too that she had to perform before eating sargi, but she knew better than talking about venerations and beliefs with Shivaay. He performed them for the sake of it. Mostly on his family's insistence. He had little faith in such things she had figured out.
"It's okay," he looked at the clock, "Wow, you woke up at six."
"What do you mean I woke up at six?" she narrowed her eyes at him, having caught the emphasis on you in his previous sentence.
He simply shrugged his shoulders. "Nothing, I just wondered that your MBA classes are from nine still you struggle to wake up, so I was surprised at how you woke up at six this morning."
"FYI, it has only been twice or thrice that I struggled to wake up. I always get up at the first ring of the alarm," she advocated herself.
"Come on, Annika," he chuckled, "No one wakes up at the first ring of the alarm. Not even me."
Her lips thinned. He was right. No, he just had ways to win a debate.
"If you are done may I leave this room? Dadi must be waiting for me with the sargi."
"Ah, find a better way out next time. Dadi won't be waiting for you with sargi every day," he laughed. His laugh caused Annika to smile. How did she ever wish this man had died. Her anger did not justify it at all.
***
At the very end of the night, Kalyani handed over the large plate filled with food items wrapped with a silk cloth to Annika. Annika ate soot feni, a traditional North Indian food to eat as a pre-dawn meal on the day of Karwa Chauth. The elder lady later showered an array of jewelry and sarees upon her that she expected Annika to wear in the evening. Annika picked an embroidered georgette saree in red with a golden border. Kalyani approved of it as well saying red was an auspicious color for it was Annika's first karwa chauth.
"Henna designers should be here by noon. Traditionally, all fasting women would apply henna on this day. Nowadays some do and some don't. I insist that you do. It is your first time. All these are considered auspicious," Kalyani said.
"Dadi, guests will arrive by late afternoon and early evening. With henna on my hands, won't it be difficult to play a good host?" Annika asked.
"Why do you need to worry? House-helps are there in case they need anything. All you have to do is go around greeting them, and make them feel comfortable."
"And I have called them to meet you only," she continued, "Everyone's eyes will be on you. Don't overwork yourself by trying to play a good host as you put it."
"I will now that you said it too," Annika assured. After returning from Rishikesh, Kalyani was being nice to her, just how a grandmother-in-law should be. Annika couldn't be happier.
"Now listen to me carefully," she called for Annika's attention, "you are not to eat anything until the moon shows up in the sky. I know the first time is difficult. But you have to, otherwise, this day will hold no meaning for the two of you."
"May I ask you something?" Annika spoke hesitantly.
"What?"
"You said Shivaay's father would keep fast for his mom," Annika ended her sentence there with no intention to complete it.
"Yes, but we have less expectation of Shivaay. Honestly, it's not completely wrong too. He has to take medicines three times a day, and for that, he must eat a complete meal. Please don't expect that much from him now."
Here came her old saas back. The one who cared only for her pota and not her potabahu's feelings and expectations. Annika was still happy with whatever she had. Kalyani's point about Shivaay needing his medicines was not all wrong too.
***
When Annika entered the room, Shivaay was busy with an important call. Seeing the drawers under the dresser, Annika knew he had messed it up again looking for a file. She so hoped he organized them himself instead of yelling at house-helps to do the same. He was one peculiar man. Mess up first and then scowl over for the same.
"No, I don't have that. I gave it to you to keep it," she was sure it was Mishra on the other side, "Listen Mishra if I don't get it on my desk by the time I reach office, you are in deep trouble." and she was right.
He took out his tie from the closet, pulled up his collars, and struggled with it. After the second try, he looked at Annika. She seemed to have suddenly grown an interest in the colors of the curtains. Khanna, Mishra, Rudra, Omkara, even Annika was cursed at one point in time. Annika stood indifferent. This man had to shed his attitude sometime soon. If he asked, she would help him heartily.
"Annika," came a mumble. She looked in his direction. He was ready to strangle himself with the tie.
"I should have asked Khanna to arrange the zipper tie after last time. This Rudy! He is after Bollywood all day. The only thing he could help me with," he voiced out aloud.
Annika caught him peeking in her direction. He was such a kid!
Finding him about to strangle himself with the tie, she hurried forward to help him. He easily passed his hold on the tie to let Annika do it. She looked angry while doing it, the reason of which he knew not.
"Your attitude does little help. If you need anything, just tell me okay? Asking me for a favor won't decrease your height," she said as she made the knot.
"Hey, don't go on my height," he frowned.
"Why not?" there was a challenging tone in her voice.
"Annika!"
"Did you have breakfast?" she asked him.
"No, I am running late" he replied.
"You should eat on the go. I will ask someone to pack food for you," she offered.
"Thanks, but I don't think I will get time today," he said.
"Why? Are you fasting for me?" she asked teasingly.
"Hahaha"
She hit his chest playfully, "Boring man! Mazak bhi nahi samajhte aap."
She tried to leave when he grabbed her waist. Pulling her to himself and he challenged her, "Try me! I may not be a bore."
"I tried," she claimed, trying hard to not concentrate on the movements of his fingers on her waist.
"What happened?" she cursed him in her mind. He knew very well the effects of his touch on her.
"I was busy thanking God that I didn't turn out to be a bore like you are," came Annika's reply.
He chuckled, "You are cute."
Annika pressed her lips in a thin smile, "Whatever! You want to play early in the morning, then play it fair. Don't use your hands."
"Okay," he agreed easily. When he let go of his hold on her waist and brought his lips closer to hers, the passion in his eyes compelled her to close hers.
As she anticipated his lips on hers, she was kissed barely inches away from that place. He left mumbling thanks.
Annika opened her eyes and registered what just happened. She was cent percent sure that he wanted to kiss her. On the lips. And she showed no sign of reluctance. Then what happened seconds ago when they were so close and he had an easy chance?
***
Elaborate designs were made in Annika's hands with henna. Kalyani seemed too particular while mentioning that her Billu's wife must have the best henna among all the ladies in attendance. Annika, on the other hand, felt too hungry to put any attention on the designers or the designs they made.
"Not to forget, write Billu's name in her hand," Shivaay's grandma instructed those ladies and left.
Annika's stomach rumbled. In seconds, she wondered how patient all these ladies coming tonight must be to observe fast for their husbands for years. She wanted to give up on her first time.
"Ma'am, what is your husband's name?" one of the henna artists asked.
Annika made a crying face. She only heard the word husband and imagined all the scrumptious food he must be eating with his clients as she sat here dying in hunger.
"Ma'am?" the other artist called for her attention to no avail.
"Let's just write Billu," one suggested the other, "The elder Mrs. Oberoi was addressing her grandson as Billu anyways."
And that's how Annika ended up with the name Billu in her hand.
Half an hour after her henna was done, Annika entered the kitchen to get some lemon juice to apply on her hands. As suggested by Kalyani, they apparently help darken the color. Annika was less knowledgeable in this case. She followed the elderly lady.
She took a proper look at her henna, unable to decide how on earth was she supposed to apply lemon juice on her henna when both her hands were filled.
Her eyes dilated in surprise realizing that the artists wrote Billu in her hand. Before she could even complain, a great idea crossed her mind. Shivaay was going to be surprised or shocked tonight. Depends on how he took it.
She returned to the hall area in search of some leftover henna. There were some cones left indeed. Annika hurried to grab one. Of course, it could and it did mess with the henna on her fingertips, but she no longer cared. Seeing the look on Shivaay's face seemed much more important.
With a mischievous heart, she added the word Ji beside Billu.
***
In the late afternoon, the ladies started coming in. Annika found a few other girls her age having henna on their hands. She had company at least. Though she agreed for keeping her grandmother-in-law's words earlier, she did think of feeling awkward by being the only person with henna in the evening. Now, she was relieved.
One of the elder ones narrated the story of a queen called Veervati. The said queen spent her first Karva Chauth as a married woman at her parents' house. She began a strict fast after sunrise but, by evening, was desperately waiting for the moonrise as she suffered severe thirst and hunger. Her seven brothers couldn't bear to see their sister in such distress and created a mirror in a pipal tree that made it look as though the moon had risen. The queen mistook it for the moon and broke her fast. The moment she took the first morsel of food, she sneezed. In her second morsel, she found hair. After the third she learned the news of her husband, the king, being dead. She wept through the night until her grief compelled a Goddess to appear and ask why was she crying. When the queen explained her misfortune, the Goddess revealed how she had been tricked by her brothers and instructed her to repeat the Karva Chauth fast with complete devotion. When Veervati repeated the fast, Lord Yama was forced to restore her husband.
Annika smiled thinking how Shivaay would react if he was here. He would surely condemn this story saying it was absolutely foolish for anyone to believe. In fact, even Annika doubted it was true. She only believed she was keeping this fast for Shivaay and herself. She was observing it putting faith that God would forgive her for saying such things about her husband. All these stories did not matter.
What followed was another story. Of Satyavan and Savitri. Annika admired the woman Savitri was. There she ate nothing till her husband returned to life and here Annika wished her husband died even if it was for a split second. How will she make that up? Will this fast be enough? She had a hard time believing those stories narrated by elders. Was her faith compromised then?
Before long, the story-telling took a break and the ladies mingled. Annika had already met some of them in the events where she accompanied Shivaay. Some were new faces. They all had really expensive gifts for Annika or both Shivaay and Annika since they were newly married. Each seemed to compete with another in gift-giving. Annika received them happily, albeit a little surprise by the ways of the class of society they lived in. She wondered where she was since almost twenty-four years that she observed all these only after marriage.
A smile captured her lips when she got reminded of her birthday coming in two days. Till now Shivaay made no mention of Rudra's text, thus she believed Rudra had joked earlier and Shivaay would not know. Her father lived in another, non-earthly, world now. Most of her friends were still in London. In short, she had no hope of celebrating her birthday. To a degree, she did not even want to celebrate this time around. Without Harsh and her friends, the day had no meaning. Shivaay had left her hopeless.
Kalyani recited from the Ramayana. Her full concentration was on hearing Ramayana. It was a story of a kind. Sita left all luxuries to accompany her husband in his hardships, and in the end, she had to give agnipariksha. Her eyes were teary by that time. Ramayana may not be a story of Karwachauth, yet it sure was a story that reflected a wife's utter devotion to her husband. While everyone commended Sree Ram for his love of family and discipline, Annika saw Sita as the protagonist of the story.
And like that, Annika's hunger subsided for a few moments.
***
The rest of the guests arrived in the evening. She had now changed into the saree Kalyani showed her earlier. It was uncomfortable to wear heavy jewelry too. The long tiara seemed too much as well. Annika passed it thinking her first karwa chauth maybe deserved such a grand outfit. It sure served as a way of satisfying Shivaay's grandmother. There was still no sight of the moon in the sky. She found some ladies complaining to their husbands, some demanding a perfect gift in exchange for the fast they observed, while she waited for her husband. She knew he had a meeting. But then, did Kalyani not ask him to come early?
She sighed. She should have reminded him herself while tying his tie in the morning.
Leaving the guests for a while, she entered the mandir for adorning Maa Parvati. A YouTube video played on the side as Annika followed step by step while adorning the goddess. This was something she learned on the net rather than suggested by someone else. She wanted to observe this fast with full faith for it was a way to lessen her guilt of wishing death to Shivaay. Thus, she now worshipped the Gods, something she did rarely. Finally, after performing veneration of Lord Shiva and his beloved, Annika returned to the pool area where all the guests now waited for the moon.
"Bhabhi," Omkara hurried past a few people and stood beside Annika, "Shivaay called. He might get late."
"What? Dadi asked him to come early. And if he was running late, could he not call me or text me?" Annika sounded upset.
"He said sorry. And he did try to call. Your number was unreachable," Omkara informed.
Annika nodded, "I was busy with the guests and then I went for puja. Maybe I didn't notice. It's fine. Did he say when he might be back?"
"He can't say for sure. That's what he said," Omkara replied.
Omkara left with a smile. Annika noticed but did not point it out. Why would he be sad? It's her and Shivaay's first fast, not his. Even Shivaay might not be sad. Only she was the sad one.
***
"Moon!" a child pointed in the sky. Her mother reached her and warded off evil as if the girl achieved something big. Annika chuckled. Mothers were some special characters. Her smile faded. How would she know? She never had any. Perhaps if she did, she would know the rituals of Karwa Chauth long before as her mother would keep fast for her father.
She looked around to not find Shivaay anywhere. Omkara was nowhere to be seen as well. She took out her phone and searched for Shivaay's picture in the gallery. There were no notifications of missed calls as well. Shivaay obviously lied to Omkara saying the former had tried to call her.
She used the sieve to watch the moon. It was shining softly. Closing her eyes, she turned the sieve towards her phone. The sieve saw both Shivaay's picture and the real him now. The smile on his face now reflected in hers.
"I hope Om did not upset you too much. I asked him to do this since you might not have believed Rudra's words given his nature. Mazak karna sirf tumhe nahi aata," Shivaay said.
"Nahi aata apko," she said, "This was not something for you to kid around. A wife's faith is related to this festive. You had no right to make fun of mine."
"I am sorry," he whispered as it was only for her to hear, "Now, please break your fast."
"I need to perform your aarti." she pointed out. She did notice how he whispered his apology so no one else could eavesdrop and his ego remained safe. She performed his aarti as he stood seemingly restless.
"You don't need to touch my feet," he said when he saw another woman doing that.
"I was not even thinking about doing it," she said, "I am glad you expect the same."
"What happened to you?" she asked, worried due to his restless eyes.
"Can you make it fast?" he requested, "I had nothing today because of my busy schedule. The delegates were a pain in the a**. Did not have food themselves, nor let me have any. I need to eat something and have my meds too."
Annika's heart smiled after she learned how the two of them experienced hunger on the same day. It didn't matter to her that he stayed hungry for a different reason than hers. The feeling of hunger they both experienced and shared on the same day meant much more.
Her happiness soon turned into worry for him. He needed to have his medicines soon.
She grabbed a sweetmeat from her thaali and signed it to him to eat. He was surprised at first. When she did not stop insisting, he divided the sweet into two and asked her to eat that half. He ate from her hands at the same time as she ate from his.
Precap: Shivaay sides with Annika against Kalyani