--Time Waster # 16--
*THE NEXT DAY - I KNOW I SKIP A LOT...*
Cami: *Comes into the kitchen singing loudly* I WISH I WAS AN OSCAR ME-- *Sees Sal* What the crap are you doing in my house?
Sal: *Is sitting on the counter eating a frozen waffle* I was out of toaster waffles, so I thought I'd stop by.
Cami: *Raises an eyebrow* You know you're supposed to cook those, right?
Sal: Duh. But something's wrong with your toaster.
Cami: *Sees toaster smoking* What did you do!?
Sal: Why do you assume I did it!?
Cami: Are you kidding me right now?
Sal: Okay fine, I did it. It was an accident, though!! I was just trying to toast a waffle, but the stupid thing wouldn't go down!!
Cami: So..?
Sal: So I tossed a match in it.
Cami: You did what!?
*TOASTER SUDDENLY BURSTS INTO FLAMES*
Cami: SAL! THE TOASTER WASN'T EVEN PLUGGED IN, YOU MORON!!!
Sal: Oops. *Shrugs and continues eating her frozen waffle*.
Cami: DUDE!
Sal: What?
Cami: *Gets the fire extinguisher and puts out the flames* No wonder your family hates you.
Sal: Not all of my family hates me!!
Cami: So you admit that some do?
Sal: If you're trying to imply that my Grandmother hates me, I will gladly light you on fire.
Cami: I hate you and your pyro ways.
Sal: It's a gift. ^_^
Cami: *Rolls her eyes* Whatever. I'm going to Ben and Sophia's house with Darren. Wanna come?
Sal: I'm bringing Justin!!
Cami: -_- Of course you are.
Sal: ^_^
*LATER - AT BEN AND SOPHIA'S*
Ben: *Is laughing histerically*.
Cami: It's not funny!!
Mason: Awh, it's cute! *Also laughs*.
Cami: It's embarrassing!! I hate you for telling, Ben!
Ben: But it was funny.
Sal: *Comes out of the bathroom* What the heck did I miss??
Darren: *Stifles laughter*.
Cami: It isn't funny!!
Ben: I told Mason that when Cami was ten, she had a crush on him.
Sal: ... *Bursts out laughing* THAT IS SO CUTE!
Cami: Just watch, I'm going to kill you all in your sleep.
Sal: Not to be a smarty-pants or anything, but how can we watch if we're going to be asleep?
Cami: UGGGGGHHHH! *Storms out of room*.
Sal: *Wipes away a tear from laughing so hard* That's too cute.
Ben: Cami! Come back out here!
Cami: NO!
Ben: Please? It's time to tell stories!
Cami: NO!!!!!
Ben: I'll bring out food..
Cami: *Dashes back into the room* Food? Did you say food?
Ben: You're weird. *Goes to kitchen and comes back with a bowl of chips*.
Cami: *Starts eating chips* What's the story?
Ben: I don't actually have one, I just thought we could think of some old funny ones.
Sal: Ooh! I can tell the one about when Cami and I first met!!
Cami: Oh geez.
Sal: Shut up.
Cami: >:P
Sal: *In dramatic voice* It all started... with... um.
Cami: Just shut up and tell the freaking story.
Sal: >:(
*THE STORY.. FLASHBACK.. WHATEVER.*
Cami: *Is jumping rope* Four, Five..
*CUTE BOY WALKS BY*
Cami: Three hundred and fourty eight...
*BACK TO PRESENT*
Cami: Sal! That's the wrong freakin' story!!
Sal: Oh right. That was when you first met Darren.
Darren: So you didn't really jump rope that many times?
Cami: Thanks a lot, Sal. >:(
Sal: Oh shut up. Now, the actual story!
*REAL FLASHBACK THING - KINDERGARTEN - INDOOR PLAY TIME*
Sal: *Walks to the back of the room to get a book and see's Cami squirting glue into her mouth* What the heck are you doing?
Cami: What's it look like?
Sal: Why don't you eat real food?
Cami: Because the big kids said glue was better and yummier.
Sal: Are you stupid or something?
Cami: ...
Sal: Do you even know what stupid means?
Cami: Define 'stupid' please.
Sal: Wow. *Looks out window* Whoa! Look at that car!
Cami: *Looks out window and sees a purple slug bug* Oooh, that's Mrs. Carter's car!
Sal: It's pretty. I wish I could drive it!
Cami: Me too. *Walks over to Mrs. Carter* Can I have a hug? *Makes sad face*.
Mrs. Carter: Awh! Sure! *Hugs Cami*.
Cami: *Takes keys from Mrs. Carter's dress pocket without her knowing* Thank you. *Walks over to Sal*.
Sal: Where'd you go?
Cami: You said you wanted to drive it.
Sal: What?
Cami: Let's go outside! :D
Sal: Okaaaay. *Follows Cami outside*.
Cami: *Unlocks the door to Mrs. Carter's car and climbs in*.
Sal: What are you doing!?
Cami: You said you wanted to drive it!!
Sal: Yeah, one of my own! When I'm actually allowed to!
Cami: Oh shut up and get in.
Sal: *Grumbles* Fine. *Gets in after Cami slides over to the passengers seat*.
Cami: Now get that key in the ignition thingy.. that's what it's called right?
Sal: How should I know? I'm six!!
Cami: -- And start the car!!
*BACK TO PRESENT*
Justin: What happened next??
Cami: This moron-- *Points to Sal* -- forgot to put the stinkin' thing in reverse.
Sal: I was six!!
Cami: Excuses, excuses.
Sal: *Face palm* Anyway, we ended up accidentally driving into the building, but we didn't break the wall because I wasn't driving fast enough. So we ended up getting into big trouble after that.
Cami: *Wipes away fake tears* Our first crime together.
Sal: *Also wipes away fake tears* I know.
Mason: You two are so dramatic.
Cami: Oh shut up.
Mason: I don't have to. Remember, I know your old secret now, so I have the right to antagonize you about it now. Muahahah!
Cami: I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU ANYMORE! GOSH SAL, I HATE YOUR BROTHER!
Mason: No, you don't.
Cami: Yes, I do. *Crosses her arms and pouts like a little kid*.
Sal: How could you hate Ben!?
Cami: UGH! BEN IS MY BROTHER! YOU HEAR ME, WOMAN!?
Sal: *Rolls around on the floor laughing*.
Cami: *Sighs and pouts again* I hate you people.
Mason: WE LOVE YOU TOO! :D
Cami: >:(
Sal: What time is it?
Cami: Time for you to get a watch.
Sal: Seriously, Cami? That's an old one.
Cami: >:P
Sal: Oh, gotta go Justin. The movie starts in half an hour.
Justin: Okay, bye guys. *Starts to leave with Sal*.
Mason: You both better watch the movie!
Sal: What else would we do?
Cami: Spit gummy bears at people below you and then act innocent when they turn around.
Sal: Oh Cami, I only do that with you.
Cami: ^_^ Yay! I feel loved!
Sal: *Leaves with Justin*.
Mason: Teen love. It's adorable. Until the protective brother steps in.
Cami: Then it's funny. Well, gotta go. Me and Darren are building a giant dollhouse to blow up for a little mini movie with weird dolls.
Mason: o_O
Darren: I'm in it for the explosives.
Mason: Okay, have fun! *Narrows his eyes* I'll be watching you.
Darren: Okay... *Quickly leaves with Cami*.
Sophia: It's funny how Ben is Cami's sister, but he's always watching out for Sal. And Mason is Sal's brother, but he's always watching out for Cami..
Ben: Yeah, how does it work out that way?
Mason: Well Sal scares the heck out of me..
Ben: Cami's pretty creepy, too.
Mason: But I'm living with Sal, so she could easily kill me in my sleep. Cami's too nice to kill her friends.
Ben: You think she's nice!?
Mason: Only to some people.
Ben: Yeah - you, Sal's grandma, Sal's little brother, and Darren.. Most of the time.
Mason: But Sal is evil on so many levels, you just can't tell right away.
Sophia: Hmmm. I wonder what life would be like if they never got into criminal-like things.
*AT SCHOOL*
Cami: *Is repeatedly slamming her head on her desk*
Sal: I know I should be doing my math, but watching Cami beat herself up is so much more entertaining.
Darren: Is that how she loses her brain cells?
Cami: Hey! I can hear you! You're right next to me!
Sal: *Kicks the back of Cami's chair*.
Cami: *Turns around* Dang it, Sal! I've told you a hundred and thirty-blurpiton times not to do that!
Sal: Blurpiton?
Cami: *Sighs* Blurpiton.
Alfred: You know Cami, just the other day someone asked if I knew you.
Cami: Really?
Alfred: Yep. And I was ashamed to tell them yes.
Cami: *Gapes* That hurts. *Hits fist against chest* In the heart, dude.
Sal: What. The. Fudge.
Alfred: You don't even have a heart, Miss Drama.
Cami: But if I did, it would really hurt.
Teacher: *Walks over* Are you kids working?
Sal: Uh, Mister Sir-Dude?
Cami: o_O
Teacher: ... What?
Sal: What class is this?
Teacher: Math!
Sal: LIAR!!
Teacher: I beg your pardon?
Sal: Well if this is math, then why the heck is the alphabet in here!? Huh!?
*FIVE MINUTES LATER - IN THE OFFICE*
Cami: Best reason for detention. Ever.
Sal: -_- You shouldn't have thrown your math book at the teacher.
Cami: I was trying to make a point.
Sal: And that point would be?
Cami: Always agree with your besties?
Sal: Okay, but if your bestie was trying to decide on pink heels or sneakers, and they really wanted the heels, would you agree?
Cami: Of course not!
Sal: Then what would you do?
Cami: Shoot 'em! Because it's quite clear that they're either a clone or brainwashed. And you know that once you're brainwashed, you're never the same again. I'd be doing you a favor.
Sal: Everyday I hang out with you is a day I feel brainwashed.
Cami: 'Pink Heels' brainwashed or 'What-The-Heck-Happened-To-My-Life' brainwashed?
Sal: The second one.
Cami: Ohh. I get that a lot.
Sal: And somehow I don't find this at all surprising.
Cami: ... Hey, what the heck happened to Charlie and Jack?
Sal: :o I have no idea!
Cami: We're terrible friends!!!
Sal: I kno-- Hey! Speak for yourself!
Cami: Oh please, you didn't even think of them until I mentioned their names.
Sal: Bu-- I hate you.
Cami: Awh! I wuv yew too!!
Sal: Don't talk like that. It's creepy.
Cami: It's cweepy?
Sal: Stop it!
Cami: Don't make me cwy!
Sal: Stoooooppppp!!!!!!! *Runs out of the office*.
Cami: Come back! *Chases after Sal*.
Sal: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
*WITH CHARLIE AND JACK*
Charlie: You know what? This is all your fault!
Jack: My fault!? How is it my fault!?
Charlie: Well first of all, you refuse to pull over and ask for directions!!
Jack: And who, Charlotte, am I going to ask directions from!? That cactus!?
Charlie: Don't call me Charlotte!!
Jack: *Groans and rubs his forehead* You're such a pain in the butt to be in a car with! All you do is complain!
Charlie: I do not complain!! I can't believe you said I complain!
Jack: Exibit A!! You're complaining about complaining!!
Charlie: I am not!!
Jack: Ugh! Why can't I just turn the GPS on!?
Charlie: Because it's wrong!!
Jack: You're just jealous because I give Lola tons of attention.
Charlie: I am not jealous!!! Just because Lola is a stupid GPS that is completely wrong - and is practically your robot girlfriend - does not mean I am jealous!
Jack: Aha! You are jealous! Otherwise you wouldn't have said that she's practically my robot girlfriend!! Hahahhaha!! *Sings* Charlotte's jealous!!
Charlotte: SHUT UP AND DRIVE, YOU JERK!
Jack: *Snickers*.
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