--Time Waster # 15--
Cami: Where'd you steal that quote from?
Sal: What makes you think I stole it from somewhere?
Cami: Forget it. Who are the cops behind us?
Sal: Cami, you can't expect me to know every single cop on the face of the earth.
Cami: Judging by your criminal record, I think I can.
Sal: Excuse me!? What about your criminal record?
Cami: What about mine?
Sal: I'M PRETTY SURE YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD IS WORSE THAN MINE!!!!
Cami: NO IT ISN'T! IT'S EXACTLY THE SAME BECAUSE WE STARTED BREAKING THE LAW AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
Darren: *Groans* Can you two please stop fighting!? We're kind of trying to get away from the police.
Cami: I would like to continue this at your house.
Sal: Agreed.
Officer: *Speaking into his loud speaker thing* PULL OVER RIGHT NOW!!!!
Cami: *Sticks head out window* NO!!!!!!!!!!
Officer: ... *Glances at his partner* What the heck do I say to that?
*A WHILE LATER*
Sal: Okay, we've outrun them. Let's ditch this car.
Cami: Agreed. *Jumps out*.
Sal: *Quickly stops the car and gets out along with others* Cami! What the crap!?
Cami: *Gets up* I've always wanted to do that.
Sal: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!
Cami: NO YOU ARE!!
Sal: *Rolls her eyes* Let's just get a taxi from here.
Cami: A taxi? From here to your house? Do you know how much money that's going to cost!?
Sal: I do have an allowance...
Cami: Of what!? A million bucks!?
Sal: *Shrugs* I've saved my money, unlike some people who blew it all on minty gum and funny socks. *Gives Cami a look*.
Cami: *Ignore Sal's comment* WHY CAN'T I HAVE YOUR PARENTS!?
Sal: Because it wouldn't be funny if you had parents that liked you.
Cami: MY MOM LOVES ME! She's just not good at showing affection.
Sal: Really? Because she doesn't seem to have a problem hugging me and telling me that I'm such a great kid.
Cami: If you don't shut up, I will gladly shove my fist down your throat.
Sal: I'm not scared of you, Cami.
Cami: ... *Picks up rock and throws it at Sal's head*.
Sal: *Gets hit with the rock and falls down unconscious*.
Jack: We need her awake! She's the brains of this bunch!
Cami: Just drag her to the bench while we wait for the taxi.
Jack: >:P *Does as Cami says*.
*LET'S JUST SKIP SOME - IN THE TAXI*
Cami: Sir, can you please hurry up?
Driver: It's a long drive, miss.
Cami: I know, but I'm impatient when it comes to long drives and if you don't hurry up, I'll probably be throwing up on you in a couple of minutes.
Driver: *Speeds up*.
Cami: That's better.
Jack: How are you two still together? She's so impatient.
Cami: I can hear you! How are you and Sal still together? She's demanding.
Sal: I AM NOT!
Jack: Point taken.
Sal: HEY! What is this - 'Hate On Sal' day!?
Cami: *Checks the calender on her phone* No... that's next Tuesday.
Sal: You know, Cami.. If you weren't my best friend, I'd have already murdered you and left your body in the river.
Cami: :o
Jack: How could you say such a thing?
Cami: Be quiet, that's how I know she cares! :D
Jack: o_O Whaaat??
Cami: I love you like a sister!!
Sal: I love you like a sister, too!!
Darren: *Rolls his eyes* And que the dramatic music, please...
Sal: Oh, be quiet.
*LATER - BACK HOME*
Sal: MOM - WE'RE HOME!
S.M: SHHHH! Do you know what time it is!? You're going to wake Drew up!
Drew: *Runs downstairs* YOU'RE HOME! *Runs over*.
Sal: :D *Holds her arms out for hug*.
Drew: *Runs right passed Sal and hugs Cami*.
Cami: Yay! :D
Sal: That's just hurtful.
S.M: Well, your brother's here.
Cami: He's not her brother!!
S.M: I meant her real brother. Believe me it's annoying when she claims other people as her relatives.
Sal: >:P
Mason: *Comes in* Hey, Sally! :D
Sal: MY NAME ISN'T SALLY, DANG IT!
Mason: *Snickers*.
Cami: I almost forgot you even had an older brother!
Sal: That's because he's been gone for so long in London, going to college and doing other random crap I don't know about.
Mason: It's called studying. You should try it some time.
Sal: Excuse me? That's Cami who doesn't study.
Mason: Well either way, I've seen your grades and it wouldn't hurt to fix them.
Sal: Oh, whatever!!
Cami: Well, he's right.
Sal: Shut up! Your grades are worse than mine!
Cami: I've got A's and B's only! (A/N: Seriously :D *Does the robot*.)
Sal: Really?
Cami: Yes.
Sal: ... Whatever. Hey, there's a vampire convention tonight! Who wants to co--
Cami: NO.
Sal: You didn't even let me finish!
Cami: So? I already knew what you were going to say. And I prefer werewolves.
Sal: Your loss. You wanna come Jack?
Jack: Uhhh I'm really tired...
Sal: So? It's a vampire convention! It'll be worth it.
Cami: Jack doesn't like vampires.
Sal: WHAT!?
Jack: How do you know!?
Cami: Because I heard you tell that to Darren.
Jack: But you were running around with Sal!
Sal: Her hearing is really good far away, but up close it kinda sucks.
Cami: Weird, isn't it?
Jack: :P
Sal: So you hate vampires?
Jack: Yes.
Sal: ... Yeah, this isn't going to work out.
Jack: What!?
Sal: Sorry, but I can't date someone who hates vampires. It's so wrong.
Jack: Well its probably for the best. You are kind of demanding.
Sal: HEY! I AM NOT!
Everyone but Sal: Yes you are.
Sal: >:o I don't have to take this crap! *Goes upstairs*.
*LOUD THUD*
Sal: OW! WHO LEFT THIS STUPID TOY TRUCK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DARK HALLWAY!?
*ANOTHER LOUD THUD*
Sal: OW!!! SON OF WITCH!
Darren: *Calls up* You tried to kick it, didn't you?
Sal: SHUT UP!
Darren: *Snickers*.
*THE NEXT DAY*
Sal: *Is jumping on the bed, dancing terribly and singing to Hannah Montana*.
Cami: *From Sal's closet* This is gonna be great for youtube. *Presses the record button on her camera*.
*5 MINUTES LATER*
Sal: *Bows to her audience of stuffed animals* Thank you, thank you.
Cami: *Comes out of Sal's closet* No, thank you.
Sal: CAMI!!
Cami: Bye! *Runs out of Sal's room and out of her house*.
Sal: *Runs after her*.
Cami: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!
Sal: *Stops* Wait, didn't we go over this before? Put your camera away first.
Cami: Okay. *Puts her camera in it's bag and puts that over her shoulder* Let me know when you'd like to proceed.
Sal: Now would be fine.
Cami: K. *Continues running* NEVER!!!
Sal: GIVE ME THE CAMERA!!!
Cami: NO! I SPENT THE ENTIRE NIGHT IN YOUR CLOSET WAITING FOR YOU TO DO SOMETHING EMBARRASSING! AND I'M NOT GIVING IT UP NOW!
Sal: YOU'RE SUCH A PAIN IN THE BUTT!
Cami: THANK YOU! *Takes a quick turn and then another before Sal sees her and runs into a random person's backyard* Can I hide back here!? My friend is trying to kill me!
Random Guy: Uh, sure...
Cami: *Hides in a tunnel slide*.
Sal: *Runs over* Did you see a short girl come in here? She's almost sixteen but she's the height of a twelve year old.
Random Guy: I thought she was more around the height of a thirteen or fourteen year old.
Sal: Aha! Where is she!?
R.G.: I have no idea what you're talking about...
Sal: Oh I see, you're one of those secretive people, aren't you?
R.G.: I refuse to speak without a lawyer present.
Sal: You don't deserve a lawyer!
R.G.: Yes I do!
Sal: No!! Now tell me where she went!
R.G.: You want the truth?
Sal: Yes.
R.G.: You can't handle the truth!!
Sal: Ohhhh, that's a good one! I'm Sal.
R.G.: I'm Justin.
Sal: Ha! You got named after a girly singer!
Justin: Shut up.
Sal: Unfortunately my friend happens to love him, so I'm using this time here as my Make-Fun-Of-JB time.
Justin: That's mean.
Sal: You like him?
Justin: I never said that.
Sal: It was implied.
Justin: No it wasn't.
Sal: Weren't we talking about some-- Oh yeah! Where is she!?
Justin: Who?
Sal: Cameron!! Or Cami... Or 'The Girl With High Grades But A Low IQ'. Sometimes I wonder if she threatens to kill the teacher unless they agree to give her good grades. Maybe I should try that...
Justin: Uhh, wrong yard?
Sal: Liar!
Justin: You have no proof!
Sal: Yes I do.
Justin: Where?
Sal: ... Okay, I have no proof! But I will after I search your yard!
Justin: You need permission to do that.
Sal: I'm a criminal, if there's anything I've learned in jail it's: 1) Don't drop the soap; and 2) I don't need permission.
Justin: I thought number one only applied for a men's jail or prison...
Sal: Not that kind of thing! I meant because your soap will get into other people's wet dirt.
Justin: You're weird.
Sal: Thank you. So are you gonna tell me where she is?
Justin: That depends - I need seven numbers first.
Sal: Huh?
Cami: HE WANTS YOUR PHONE NUMBER, MORON!
Sal: FOUND YOU!
Cami: NO YOU DIDN'T! I SURRENDERED!
Sal: Whatever. Cami, give me a pen!
Cami: *Throws pen at Sal's head*.
Sal: OW! *Rubs head and picks up pen* I hate her throwing skills.
Cami: *Comes over and watches Sal write down her number* Now put mine down.
Sal: Why?
Cami: So I can call during your dates and yell "NO PUBLIC DISPLAY OF AFFECTION!" and hang up.
Justin: ...
Sal: I'm not putting down your number.
Cami: That's fine, I'll just call yours.
Sal: *Rolls her eyes* Bye.
Justin: Bye.
Sal & Cami: *Leave*.
*THE WEEKEND - AT THE PARK*
Cami: UGH! ANSWER YOUR PHONE YOU BUTT PICKLE! *Hangs up*.
Darren: *Walks over with Alfred* What's a butt pickle?
Cami: I think it's a pickle's butt.
Darren: But pickles don't have butts.
Alfred: Maybe it's a butt shaped like a pickle..?
Cami: Or a butt that looks like a pickle.
Darren: Okay! Can we please stop talking about pickles and butts!? I'll never be able to eat another pickle again.
Cami: *Laughs*.
Alfred: Anyway, what are you doing?
Cami: Leaving messages for Sal.
Alfred: Why'd you call her a butt pickle?
Cami: Because it's the billionth time I've called her!
Darren: Where is she?
Cami: Probably hanging out with *in a squeaky voice* Justin.
Alfred: Who's he?
Cami: Oh, wouldn't you like to know?
Alfred: *Rolls his eyes* Sometimes I hate you.
Cami: So do about a hundred other people. But that's okay, it's flattering.
*SAL SKIPS OVER TO THEM*
Sal: Hey! :D
Cami: Where the crap have you been!? I've called you a bunch of times.
Sal: Dude I broke my phone this morning.
Cami: How?
Sal: There was this bird at my window and it just kept cawing! So I threw my phone at it. Unfortunately, I failed to realize that my phone would break through the window and crash two stories to it's doom.. I cried and had a funeral for it. But then my mom came out and said, "Sal! Get your butt off the ground and put my gardening tools back! You're getting your clothes all dir-- What are you burying!?"
Cami: *Completely interested in the story now* Then what happened?
Sal: Then she realized it was my phone and yelled, "What the crap is wrong with you!? You don't bury a phone!" And I yelled, "Just because Lisa is dead doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings!" and she yelled back, "There is something seriously wrong with you! Get your phone out of the ground so we can replace it!" and I said, "No one can replace Lisa!!" and then she rolled her eyes and said, "Fine! Be without a phone!" And this really got to me, so I took Lisa out of the ground and apologized to her for having to replace her, but I get desperate without my phone so... yeah.
Alfred: Anything happen after that?
Sal: My mom took me to counseling and then told me she would go replace my phone while I was on my date.
Alfred: Ah, and that's the end of the good story
Cami: *In a sing-song voice* Somebody's jeaous.
Alfred: Am not!
Sal: *Ignores their comments* It was so fun!
Cami: What did you two butt pickes do?
Sal: What's a butt pickle?
Darren: Don't ask. Please.
Sal: *Looks confused but changes the subject* Alright. Well, we went on a tour.
Cami: Lame!
Sal: In a chocolate factory.
Cami: *Gasps* Willy Wonka's!?
Sal: -_- *Sarcastically* Yes Cami. Willy Wonka's.
Cami: Awhhhh, I wanted to go there!!
Sal: *Rolls her eyes and shakes her head*.
Alfred: Cam, Willy Wonka's factory doesn't exsist.
Cami: Hey! Didn't you just hear Sal!? How can it not exsist if she just went there!?
Alfred: I'm still confused as to how you got accepted into high school.
Cami: That's what my mom says.
Alfred: ...
Sal: Well, I have to go home now. So I'll see you guys later! I'm excited to name my new phone!
Cami: Don't name it Carlos!
Sal: Why?
Cami: Because that's my phone's name. It would be awkward to introduce them. It'd be like, *in a deep voice* - "Oh hi, my name's Carlos!" *Changes to squeaky voice* Oh well isn't that just strange, my name is Carlos, too!!" And that, Sal Thunder, is not something you want.
Darren: *Takes Cami by the arm and starts walking her away* I'm just going to walk you home, okay? Because I don't think you're well enough to do it yourself.
Cami: Uhh..
Darren: And besides, in the condition you're in, you might be ready to jump into the white van when they offer you candy.
Cami: That was one time! Gosh! Besides, I got back just fine!
Sal: They ended up in the hospital for three months!
Cami: That was your fault.
Sal: *Thinks and then starts laughing* Oh yeah.. Good times, good times.
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