—
"What did you want to talk about?" Jungkook sighs, plopping down into a chair while Taehyung is with Hoseok and Koa to inspire them. Jungkook had made very clear that he did not want his family to know about what's going on between them. Taehyung had nodded.
"You."
He raises an eyebrow at his brother, wondering what kind off bullshit he'll have to listen to right now. His brother's dumb advice that's somehow supposed to solve all his problems.
"Elaborate."
Namjoon crosses his legs as he is about to start a no doubt sensitive topic. "I want to talk about your refusal to bottom."
Jungkook immediately gets up, ready to walk away but is pushed back in his seat by his brother. "Sit and stay."
"I'm not your fucking dog."
"I just want to talk." Namjoon says with a deep sigh. "You don't have to answer questions you're uncomfortable with."
The younger glares at him but stays seated, guess he'll just hear him out. No doubt his brother will be really annoying about it if he leaves. He leans his head back staring at the ceiling.
"Okay, so what exactly about it don't you like?"
It's a stupid question. He hates it. Being with Taehyung has proven multiple times that he does like it. His wolf likes it, he likes it. Fuck, he likes it so much. He loves the way Taehyung makes him feel, praising him for every little thing. So he can't say he'd actually dislikes the deed of bottoming, he dislikes the fact that bottoms are usually the omega's— the weak ones.
"don't know." He shrugs, not feeling like being honest.
"Is it because you don't like bottoming or because he's an omega and your an alpha?"
Spot on. He curses his brother silently. He's good at his job, that's why he's so successful. He should've known his brother would quickly catch on to how he feels about Taehyung. He doesn't reply, knowing Namjoon will keep talking.
"You and Taehyung obviously aren't just friends, what happened between you two?" He pauses. "It's clear you're comfortable around him."
Jungkook looks at him. "Stuff happened." He mutters. Not sure why he's telling this. Maybe because his brother would never judge him, maybe because he really wants to figure himself out.
"And I assume he played the dominant role."
The younger looks back up at the ceiling. "Maybe."
Namjoon hums, seemingly thinking the words over. No doubt he's drawing conclusions that are most likely right.
"So you don't like the role reversal, your an alpha and you think you should be the dominant one, the powerful one."
He sighs very deeply before making a noise that indicates yes. He refuses to verbally answer.
"Do you know why?"
He nods.
"Well, look at me and Hoseok, are we different because we're both alpha's? Does one of us bottoming make us less of an alpha?" It's a logical question and sure, seeing an example of someone who bottom's as alpha might make him believe it isn't weakness. But whenever he looks at his brother he doesn't view him as weak, he's always admired his brother for the way he lives his life.
It's just that whenever it comes to himself, he views himself as weak. Because he was told he was weak, so he feels like it.
"I'm working on it Joon, I also don't think you're weak. I admire you for the way you don't care what anyone thinks of you, it's just that I can't do that yet."
"And he's helping you, isn't he?"
Again correct. Jungkook nods.
"He is."
"What do you think of that?"
He shrugs. "It's cool I guess. It's something."
Namjoon gets up from the bed. "Well, I'm happy he is. You look happy around him and I can tell from seeing you two together just twice." He pauses. "Don't go too fast, take your time and come visit more often. We've all missed you."
With a little smile he looks up. "I've missed you guys too."
"Now let's go find our boyfriends."
He snorts. "He's not my boyfriend." But Namjoon is no longer listening. Instead walking on as he rambles about being tired because he and Hoseok have bought a new toy.
He zones out, not needing to hear the rest of the story. He really wonders how his family is that comfortable, he'd never share his experiences in bed.
They meet up with the two alpha's and omega in the living room and Taehyung looks tired. Due to the lack of sleep but also because of the countless questions he got.
Koa quickly dismisses herself saying she needs to paint and Hoseok takes off to the studio taking Namjoon with him.
"Wanna take a nap?" Jungkook asks, suppressing the urge to pull the brunette into a hug. They aren't dating, their barely friends. He shouldn't behave like one.
"Yeah, how was talking to your brother."
"He basically told me things I already knew, yet it feel a little better than before."
Taehyung smiles. "I'm happy to hear. Now let's go nap before your mother can ask me anymore questions about my sex life."
"Mh, any stories interesting for me?" Jungkook teases but becomes speechless with the omega's answer. "No, they're all indescribably boring when compared to what we do."
Taehyung grins, grabbing his hand and leading the alpha to the bedroom. Jungkook let's himself be dragged along his brother's words still in his mind. He wouldn't mind it if he could let go of his fear, he wants to let go of his fear. And maybe that's the first step towards recovery, acknowledging he has a problem and wanting to fix it.
Once in his bedroom he's pressed against the door and lips are on his. Taehyung pauses a second. "Are you okay with this."
"Yes!" He says quickly and excitedly.
"Good." Taehyung mutters, pushing his hands up the alpha's shirt as they make out. Desperation on each side, there's is an undeniable attraction between the two.
And right here and now bottoming doesn't seems too bad. Though he knows if he were to do it now he'd hate himself right after. He can't just blindly give in just because he feels more confident right now. He needs to take things slow if he wants to heal.
If he stills wants this when he's at his low, then he's healed.
"T-Taehyung." He whines when the omega moves to his neck. Kissing and sucking softly.
"Mh?"
He doesn't know what he wants to say, he's unsure. He wants this but he also feels fragile, he's absolutely terrified of breaking.
"C-can we cuddle instead?"
Taehyung stops what he's doing and looks up. "Yeah of course."
They get into bed, facing each other as the feeling of fragility only keeps growing inside of the alpha. He feels safe, he's allowed to be weak. Right here and now he can be as weak as he wants to be and no one would view him as such.
"Jungkook?" Taehyung asks, carefully reaching out, pulling the alpha closer and once that Jungkook is cuddled against him, face hidden in the omega's chest.
Slowly it starts, silent tears that turn into sniffling until he's full on sobbing.
Finally, the walls have come down.
—
🥺 kookie 🥺