--Time Waster # 12--
*AT THE HOTEL*
Jack & Charlie: *Drag Alfred into the room and drop him on the couch*.
Charlie: Thanks for leaving us to carry around Alfred! You know he whined the whole way home!? Couldn't stop complaining about the pain that I would rather not mention - thanks to Sal's shoe!
Sal: I'm so cool. ^_^
Cami: *Scoffs* Barely.
Sal: *Glares*.
Cami: :D
Sal: Okay well let's go, Jack.
Jack: Oh yeah, what movie do you wanna see?
Sal: Anything with blood splattering around everywhere.
Cami: You're gonna go see Blood Splatter 2 without me!?
Jack: O_O
Sal: We saw the first one together.
Cami: At least when you were with Alfred, Darren and I could always come with. >:(
Sal: What are you talking about?
Darren: Nooo! They didn't know about us being there on all their movie dates!
Cami: Well, they do now!
Darren: -_-
Sal: *Shakes her head and leaves with Jack*.
Charlie: ... Anyone else feel like this is a moment of awkward silence?
Cami: Did you know that at least seven minutes into a conversation, there's always a moment of awkward silence? Then after more conversation that lasts about that long, it probably happens again.
Charlie: Where'd you hear that?
Cami: I don't know.
Charlie: Then how do you-
Cami: I JUST KNOW, OKAY?!
Charlie: O_O Okay! *Sits down and stays still and quiet*.
Cami: I love it when people think I'm crazy. MUAHAHAHAHHAHHAH *cough* *gag* *cough* *choke*.
Ben: o_O Did you swallow a cat over there?
Cami: *Gags* Possibly!
Alfred: ... So Charlie, wanna go get some pizza?
Charlie: Sure.
Cami: Can me and Darren come?
Alfred: No!
Cami and Darren: Why not!?
Alfred: Last time you two came out for pizza with me and Sal, things did not go well!
Cami: What are you talking about? We had a great time!
Alfred: Sure, if you call chasing the waitress with a pizza cutter because she hit on your boyfriend FUN, then yes, it was a blast.
Cami: *Looks at Darren* That's what I thought.
Darren: *Nods*.
Alfred: *Face palm* See you two later.
Cami: Wait!
Alfred: WHAAAAATTTAH?!
Cami: Quit whining! I have a question...
Alfred: Then ask it!
Cami: Are you two going to be dating now?
Charlie & Alfred: *Shrug and leave*.
Cami: >:P
Darren: So...
Ben: *Clears his throat and sits between Darren and Cami on the couch* So?
Darren: ... I was just gonna ask if you two wanted to... play cards..?
Cami: Ooh, which game??
Ben: Smart boy.
Darren: ...
*WITH SAL AND JACK*
Sal: Two tickets to Twilight: Breaking Dawn please.
Jack: :o Huh!?
Sal: What? We're dating now, so now I get to force you to watch Twilight movies with me.
Jack: That is not what dating is about.
Sal: I know, but I think you're spaz attacks are funny.
Jack: -.-
*WITH CHARLIE AND ALFRED*
Charlie: Wanna play some arcade games since we're finished eating now?
Alfred: Sure. What game?
Charlie: Hmm, how abou- Why are Cami, Ben, and Darren here!?
Alfred: Huh? *Looks over towards the arcade* No! D: *Walks over to them* Leave! Please!
Cami: *Sarcastically* Well since you asked so nicely... No! >:P
Darren: We got bored at the hotel. There's nothing to do.
*WAITRESS WALKS BY AND LOOKS AT DARREN SWEETLY*
Cami: >:o What do you think you're looking at!?
Waitress: Excuse me? Isn't it your bedtime, kiddo?
Cami: Oh what, 'cause I'm short!?
Waitress: You just look like you're maybe... eleven or so.
Darren: Um, ma'am? Short jokes may not be your best selection to use...
Cami: *Glares*.
Waitress: *Glares back*.
Ben: Lets go sit down! *Drags Cami and Darren to a table*.
Charlie & Alfred: *Look mad but follow*.
*A FEW MINUTES LATER - SAME WAITRESS FROM BEFORE COMES TO THEIR TABLE*
Waitress: Oh great - you again. I'm Nicole and I'll be your server today. What can I get you?
Cami: A new waitress.
Charlie: Cami!
Cami: What?
Waitress: *Glares* Can I get you something to drink while you decide on what you want?
Cami: *Nudges silverware to make it fall on floor* Could you pick that up for me please?
Waitress: *Glares and picks it up*.
Cami: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? DON'T STEAL MY SILVERWARE! *Snatches silverware away from the waitress*.
Waitress: o_O I'll be back...
*A FEW MINUTES LATER - WAITRESS COMES BACK*
Waitress: Are you ready to order?
Cami: YES!!
Waitress: *Waits*.
Cami: *Looks at menu for a long time*
Waitress: Um--
Cami: Don't interrupt my thoughts, Nickel!
Waitress: Nickel? I'm not a coin.
Cami: SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! NOW I HAVE TO START ALL OVER! *Looks back at menu for a long time*.
Charlie: *Slides under table out of complete embarrassment because people are staring*.
Darren: Cami, the only thing on the menu is pizza. I thought we all agreed on pepperoni.
Cami: We did.
Darren: Then what are you doing?
Cami: Hey, all I said was that we were ready to order. Does that mean I have to say what we want, too?
Alfred: That's kind of what we were expecting...
Cami: Well then! *Looks at waitress* Pepperoni pizza, please.
Waitress: *Mutters* Be right back. *Leaves*.
*SAL AND JACK WALK IN*
Cami: Oooh!! Come sit with us!
Sal: Um, that might not be a good idea...
Cami: Too awkward?
Sal: No, I just don't want to recall of the last time we went out for pizza with you and Darren.
Darren: Too late. Just sit down.
Sal & Jack: *Join them at their table*.
Waitress: *Comes back and sets pizza down* Anything else?
Cami: When we get the bill, please bring a yellow crayon we can sign it with.
Waitress: This isn't helping your argument to seem older than you look.
Cami: *Gets up on chair* I'M NOT ELEVEN!!!!!!
Waitress: *Looks at Cami like she's crazy*.
Cami: *Stares at waitress with crazy wide eyes* Can I get a pizza cutter please?
Whole Table: NO!!!!!!
Waitress: *Walks away quickly*.
Ben: Cami, sit down!
*AFTER THEY FINISH EATING*
Darren: That was awesome.
Waitress: *Comes back* Here's your bill. *Places bill on table with a yellow crayon*.
Cami: I have two complaints.
Waitress: *Rolls eyes* What?
Cami: Well first, you didn't even offer us a dessert menu. And second, I asked for a green crayon.
Waitress: You said yellow.
Cami: Green is my favorite color! I think I would know the color of crayon that I asked for!
Waitress: *Looks at Darren and smiles sweetly* Can I get you a dessert menu?
Cami: Don't look at him like that! *Tackles waitress*.
Waitress: *Screams and tries to push Cami off*.
Cami: *Punches waitress in the face repeatedly*.
Darren: Cami!
Sal: Stop beating her up! It's not her fault she finds your boyfriend attractive!
Cami: *Stops punching waitress*.
Waitress: Yeah, I think he's cute too. *Points at Jack*.
Sal: Shut up! *Picks up a chair*.
Cami: *Quickly moves*.
Waitress: *Jumps up and runs*.
Sal: *Follows*.
Charlie: We're going to get kicked out, aren't we?
Alfred: Not us. *Picks up his coat* Let's go. *Quickly leaves with Charlie*.
Ben: Still on parole. *Follows Charlie and Alfred out*.
*AFTER THE INCIDENT AT THE PIZZA PLACE*
Sal &Cami: *Sitting next to each other on a bench in a jail cell shared with a few other people*.
Sal: How dare she say Jack is cute!
Cami: I know! If only she had brought me the pizza cutter. Then what would she look at Darren with? *Laughs evily*.
Sal: *Scoots away and looks up and big buff chick* What are you in for?
BBC: Murder.
Sal: I doubt that.
BBC: Really? That's what my last victim said.
Sal: What did you do to your last victim?
BBC: Peeled the skin off her face with a potato peeler.
Sal: O_O
Cami: Pfft. She lying - that doesn't work very well. I've tried it on one of Sal's ex-boyfriends.
Sal: That's why Jason has a long scar on his face! You tried to peel his skin off!?
Cami: I had my reasons. The main one being that he dumped you.
BBC: You two girls are kinda creepy.
Cami & Sal: Thanks!
BBC: *Shakes head and goes across the room to sit*
*COP KNOCKS ON BARS*
Cop: Lets go you two.
Cami: You are so specific.
Cop: *Rolls eyes* You and your creepy friend that's trying to arm wrestle that big buff chick over there.
Cami: o_O *Looks over and sees Sal trying and failing at arm wrestling BBC* SAL! You wont win now let's go before she rips your arm from the rest of you body!
Sal: Pfft! She couldn't do that.
BBC: I don't think you wanna find out about that.
Sal: *Runs out of the cell like a chicken*
Cami: Ha! Wimp!
BBC: *Cracks knuckles and neck*.
Cami: *Squeals and runs after Sal*.
Cop: *Shakes head and locks cell again*.
*AT THE HOTEL*
Cami & Sal: *Walk in behind Ben*.
Sal: Out of all of our friends, the only one to come bail us out is my brother.
Cami: He's my brother!
Sal: NO HE ISN'T, I ADOPTED HIM!
Cami: Dude, that would make him your son.
Sal: Oh. Right. Well... MY MOM ADOPTED HIM THEN!
Cami: YOUR MOM HATES YOU!
Sal: NO SHE DOESN'T, MY GRANDMA DOES!
Cami: Heh-heh-heh, she finally admits it.
Sal: UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YOU'RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!! *Bangs head against wall repeatedly*.
Cami: Seriously? Those are your actions right now? *Shakes head* You need a shrink.
Sal: I know. :\
Cami: o_O
*THE NEXT DAY*
Cami: *Walks into kitchen and sees note on fridge*.
(A/N: Note will be on the side, because I can't stick it right here.)
Cami: I am so mad! How dare they leave me here!
Charlie: *Clears throat*
Cami: I meant us. How dare they leave us here.
Charlie: Uh huh. :P
Cami: ...
Ben: We could go Christmas shopping.
Cami: I think it's going to be really hard to get the stuff for Sal's present.
Ben: And what stuff would that be?
Cami: Anything explosive.
Ben & Charlie: :o
Charlie: You're gonna try to murder her on Christmas!?
Cami: No! The only ticking present I ever gave her was a Pikachu Clock. Too bad she didn't believe me then.
Ben: What happened?
Cami: She screamed "DUCK FOR COVER!!", then she threw it at an old lady and dived under a table.
Charlie: That's so mean!
Cami: I know right! I got her a new clock, though.
Charlie: No! I meant it was mean that she threw the clock at the old lady!
Cami: Oh. So? She had it coming.
Charlie: Why...?
Cami: Because, she's eviiiiil!
Charlie: o_O You're a weirdo.
Cami: Thanks! :D
Charlie: ...
Ben: I still think we should go. I have to get some stuff.
Cami: Fine :P
*AT THE STORE*
Cami: Charlie, what do you not want for Christmas?
Charlie: What do I not want? What kind of a question is that?
Cami: Well this way I wont get you something that you'll say "Awh, thanks Cami I love it!" but then secretly give it to someone else who'll do the same thing to you.
Charlie: Way to think things through...
Cami: ^_^
Charlie: Hmm. Don't get me clothes or shoes that don't fit.
Cami: Does this mean you want shoes or clothes?
Charlie: Yes. Because a girl can never have too many shoes.
Cami: That depends on how many you already have.
Charlie: :P
Ben: Okay well not to be rude or anything, but I'm gonna leave to find some stuff for all of you. Mainly because I'd rather not be in the girls section of the clothes. Whatever corner I turn to, there's always some awkward clothing that I don't want to see.
Charlie: Awkward clothing?
Ben: The GIRL stuff. *Makes disgusted face and leaves*.
Cami: Looks tough, spends time in jail, and still manages to get uncomfortable around bras and undies.
Charlie: Well I would too if I were a guy. Even if I were the toughest person on Earth.
Cami: Which we all know you're not.
Charlie: Hey! How would you know?
Cami: Don't make me prove myself to be correct while we're in public, especially during the holidays. Another day out in public would be fine though. :)
Charlie: o_O
Cami: I'm going to get Sal a Gag Gift.
Charlie: What's that?
Cami: Well, let's say I got her one of those awkward girl clothing items around the corner. She would unwrap it in front of everyone and be humiliated. That's sort of an example, I guess. Otherwise I could get her something totally lame and/or crappy. But then I give her the real gift.
Charlie: That's cruel.
Cami: Well I'm not actually going to get her one of those awkward clothing items.
Charlie: Good.
Cami: I'm getting her something worse.
Charlie: I'm so glad I'm not Sal.
Cami: Like that matters. It could happen to you, too. >:)
Charlie: I'm not opening any gifts from you. At least not in front of people.
Cami: Jerk. Oh my gosh! I just forgot I had an appointment!
Charlie: A doctor's appointment on Christmas Eve?
Cami: Not for the doctor. It's more of a business appointment.
Charlie: Where?
Cami: In a dark alley.
Charlie: That has murder written all over it.
Cami: No it doesn't! It's for a gift.. >:) I'll be back. *Leaves*.
Charlie: ... I feel so alone.
*LATER THAT NIGHT*
Sal, Jack, Darren, and Alfred: *Walk into the hotel room carrying bags*.
Ben: Where the crap have you four been?
Sal: We went Christmas shopping. Talk about torture.
Cami: Why didn't you take us??
Jack: Because Charlie was still sleeping, Ben wasn't here, and Cami. . . We're kind of afraid to take you out into public since that pizza incident.
Cami: :o What!? Sal freaked out, too!!
Sal: Yeah but this was a situation I hate being in. Therefore, I'd be more focused on the fact that I'm stuck in a store with a bunch of shrilly girls fighting over tanktops and too busy planning my escape to care about attempting to murder people. You, on the other hand, would be more focused on beating the crap out of people who flirted with your boyfriend.
Cami: Well weren't you!?
Sal: No. I made him follow me everywhere just in case.
Jack: >:P
Cami: I would hate to have you as a girlfriend.
Sal: Should I be weirded out right now?
Cami: I MEANT IF I WERE HIM!
Sal: *Laughs* Dork. I'm going to the bedroom to wrap gifts. Don't touch them. EVER.
Cami: >:P. Hey where are we gonna be for Christmas tomorrow?
Sal: Our families are getting together at my house.
Cami: No!
Sal: Why not?
Cami: Your house is big. It scares me.
Charlie: Why?
Cami: Because that last time I slept over there she told me it was haunted, and when I didn't believe her I started hearing things and saw a ghost!
Sal: I told you I did all that with some stuff I used when I helped the drama club make a scary movie.
Cami: It was still freaky!
Sal: You're still going.
Cami: *Thinks for a second* Will your Grandma be there?
Sal: Yes...
Cami: I'll go!
Sal: >:P *Goes into the bedroom*.
*CHRISTMAS DAY - AT SAL'S HOUSE - AT THE DINNER TABLE*
Doris: When can we open presents??
Cami: What do you care? You didn't get anything.
Doris: :o Mommy!
Sal: Cami, even you got her something.
Cami: It's a real ticker.
Sal: Was that a bomb joke? Dude, that was terrible.
Cami: Bite me. I'm a little rusty on jokes right now.
Sal: A little?
Cami: >:( *Kicks Sal under the table*.
Alfred: OW!
Cami: Oops. Pass that on to Sal please.
Alfred: -_-
*AFTER DINNER - IN THE LIVING ROOM*
Sal's Granny: Time to open presents! Cami first. *Hands Cami a gift*.
Cami: Ah. From Charlie. *Opens gift* ... Pink socks. Yay! :D
Sal's: *Whispers* I thought you hated pink.
Cami: *Whispers back* I'm trying to be nice.
S.G: Sal's turn! *Hands Sal a gift from Cami*.
Cami: >:)
Sal: *Opens gift*.
Everyone but S.G: :o
Charlie: Oh my gosh!
Sal: That is so embarrassing Cami!!
Cami: *Bursts out laughing*.
S.G: What is it?
Sal: Awkward girl clothing...
S.G: What?
Sal: *Repeats what she said in a quiet voice*.
S.G: I can't hear you!
Sal: I'll tell you later!!
Jack: *Stifles laughter*.
Sal: Shut it!
Charlie: You said you weren't gonna get her that!
Cami: I lied.
Sal: I hate you.
Cami: I know. ^_^
Alfred: She doesn't even have what you wear them for!
Sal: You wear pants don't you!?
Alfred: :o That's cold.
Sal: Yes it is. Cami?
Cami: What?
Sal: *Attempts to choke Cami*.
Cami: Wait! I have a real one!
Sal: >:(
Cami: *Hands Sal real gift*.
Sal: *Dives under the coffee table and unwraps present*
Drew: She knows its a glass coffee table, right?
Jack: Yeah, Sal we can still see you.
Sal: C4!!!! *Gets out from under coffee table* I GOT EXPLOSIVES!!!!!!!
Everyone but Cami: *Screams and runs out of the house*.
Sal: Wanna go set it up somewhere?
Cami: YES! *Runs out of the house with Sal*.
----