Chapter 38: Intervene (trigger warning)
"Why are you crying at that grave when it's not even me who's buried on it?"
A voice is what I heard when I'm already losing my breath, my cold body is ready to surrender on heaven but that voice made my forehead creased as I'm losing myself already. Kung kailan mawawala naman ako ay may nag-salita naman, I don't want to open my eyes because I don't want my death to recoil.
Someone blocked the sunset hitting my eyes despite closing it, someone blocked it and I didn't bother to look at the person who's caring about me. She said something a while ago but I didn't understand it.
"P-Please leave alone...I want to die already" I still have the guts to mumbled on this person blocking the sunset, siya ang nag-udlot ng pag-kawala ko sa mundo pero hindi ko na maiwasang magalit.
That person sighed as if she's frustrated that seeing me being hopeless and ready to die.
"Why do you want to die?" she asked me the reason why I leaned my head on Sienna's grave with still my eyes closed, I can feel the coldness of this grave and also my body being as one. Just kill yourself Aly! Just die because that is what you deserve!
"I-I want to die already but why do you care?" I asked on this person blocking and intervening my death, handa na akong mamatay pero bakit namang pipigilan ng taong ito?
"Why do you want die, Architect?" the way that woman called me Architect is somehow familiar, this woman who is intervening my surrender to heaven and asking me why do I want to die?
Ano bang pakielam niya?
Bakit ba niya inuudlot ang pag-kawala ko?
"Open your eyes..." she ordered and I don't know why I followed that woman, her voice is somehow familiar to me and I can feel that my heart is beating as if someone brought me back in myself.
When I opened my eyes, my expectation suddenly hit me because I thought it's someone that I'm expecting but no. Iba ang babaeng nasa harapan ko na sa pag-kakaalam ko ay hindi naman malapit sa akin, malayo ang kanyang puwesto sa opisina ko at minsan ko lang siyang masilayan dahil hindi ako komportable sa kanya.
When I saw the woman sitting on the grass with a deep look on me, I can't help but to creased my head with irritation. Parang sa isang iglap ay biglang nabuhay ang puso kong kanina ay halos mawala na ang pag-tibok, why? What's with this person?
What are you doing here?
I didn't expect that you will be here, I thought of someone because of your voice but I was disappointed to find out that it's not the person I want to see.
She tilted her head and I saw the deep look became a worried one the reason why I gasped, I didn't expect this person to come so what is she doing here?
What are you doing here and making me uncomfortable again, what are you intervening my surrender to heaven?
"Architect..." she called me the reason why I stared at this woman blankly, even though I can feel my heart racing so fast I'm forcing myself to give a blank stare on this woman that is intervening my death.
"A-Architect Aly...why do you want to die? Are you tired already and want to surrender yourself to heaven?" parang sa isang iglap ay nabasa niya ang nararamdaman ko na dahilan para mahina akong matawa habang papikit-pikit pa ang mga mata, this woman is unbelievable.
"W-Why are you asking things that you're supposed not to ask, Aliyah?"
Yeah, it's Aliyah Calintaw. My secretary that I'm uncomfortable being with, ilang araw palang siya sa Monreal Fields at malayo ang loob ko sa kanya dahil hindi ko gusto ang nakakasama siya sa iisang lugar.
If we are having a meeting ay dinidistansya ko ang sarili ko sa kanya dahil alam kong magagalit ako, knowing that she's my secretary and making me uncomfortable is not good at all.
Even though she's not doing anything, it's still bothers me and I don't know why!
Bakit ka ba may pakielam e' secretary lang naman kita.
"W-Why do you care, Ms. Aliyah Calintaw?" I asked again, inalis ko ang nakasandal kong ulo sa puntod ni Sienna at malamig na tumingin sa kanya. Handa na akong mawala sa mundong ito pero bakit naman niya inudlot?
Ramdam ko ang pag-balik ng init sa aking katawan habang pinag-mamasdan ang babaeng hindi ko inaasahan na matatagpuan ako sa puntod ng mahal ko.
She's not wearing a dark red lipstick for today, her dress is simple and she let her short hair down as I always see when she's working in Monreal Fields. When she came to my company, I don't know why I can't stare at her that time and I felt uncomfortable.
She sighed and smiled for a while that made me stunned for a second, I gulped and trying to shift my eyes away on her but I just can't as if my stare is glued to her. Now, I cannot feel any awkwardness with her and I don't know why.
"Cause I pity you...ngayon na nga lang kita naka-usap tapos ang suplado mo pa" she mumbled the reason why I raised a brow on her, I can't believe that she has the guts to say that to me with my situtation right now.
Hindi ba dapat nasa kompanya siya ngayon at ginagawa ang trabaho niya pero bakit nandito siya ngayon?
And she pity me? Tss, I know I am but I don't know that she can be this direct and straight forward.
All of a sudden, my body became warm while sitting on the grass. I was ready to die but this woman intervened everything. But the way she called me Architect, kahit na minsan niya lang ako tawagin na ganon ay hindi ko alam kung bakit iba na ang nararamdaman ko.
"I didn't expect my secretary would be here, how did you even know that I'm here?" hindi na naging mautal ang boses ko habang kausap ko siya, parang noon ay halos itago ko na ang sarili ko sa kanya dahil hindi ko talaga gusto ang presensyang binibigay niya sa akin.
Nagkibit-balikat siya sa akin na dahilan para mas lalo akong mairita ng bahagya, imposible namang pati ang puntod ng taong mahal ko ay alam niya. Kalat na ba sa Monreal Fields ang pagiging baliw ko sa isang babae na patay na?
"I just guessed that you're here Architect...narinig ko rin kasi ang usapan" napa-ngiwi ito bahagya na dahilan para mag-pakawala ako ng malalim na hininga, I ran my fingers on my hair because of the frustration.
Bakit sa isang iglap nag-bago ang lahat?
I stood up and sighed, kanina lang ay halos wala na akong maramdaman pero ngayon na inudlot ng babaeng 'to ang pag-kawala ko ay halos hindi ako makaramdam ng pag-kairita.
Nilagpasan ko nalang siya at ilang lakad palang ang ginagawa ko ng mag-simula siyang mag-salita ulit na dahilan para matigilan ako.
"You really love her?" the way she asked that made me stop and closed my fist because of the angelic voice she have.
I shut my eyes when her voice echoed to my ears, parang isang musika ang kanyang boses na sa tingin ko ay tatatak ito sa aking isipan.
"Does the company told you who's the woman there?" I asked with a cold tone but deep inside I can feel my heart racing, I don't understand but I know that this woman is making me uncomfortable right now.
"Yeah, kilalang-kilala ko ang babaeng 'to kahit na ilang araw palang ako sa kompanya mo...kahit naman minsan mo lang ako balingan ng pansin e' inaalam ko pa rin ang boss ko"
I chuckled for a while because of the way she's talking to me, I don't even know that this kind of secretary still exists. The last time that I had this kind of secretary is the woman I loved.
"You're uncomfortable being with me, right Architect?" nakuha ko ng ibaling sa kanya ang tingin ko at matalim itong tiningnan na hindi ko na nagagawa sa iba noon dahil sa wala ako sa sarili ko pero ewan ko ba sa babaeng 'to.
She tilted her head with that angelic look on me. Miss Aliyah Calintaw, the secretary that I'm not comfortable being with and I can't explain why.
When she came to my company, hindi na kaagad ako komportable sa kanya na dahilan para ako na mismo ang dumistansya. I know we should have the communication but I don't want to, her presence is what I hate.
"Ngayon mo lang napansin?" I sarcastically asked to her the reason why she pouted as if she's a kid. Dahil sa kanya ay naudlot ang pag-kawala ko sa mundo at sa isang iglap ay kung ano-ano nanaman ang nararamdaman ko na para bang nabuhay ako.
Nabuhay? What, because of this woman?
That's impossible, you know I'm stuck to Sienna and there's no chance that I will fall to this woman.
"Why Architect Aly? Do you hate me?" she asked with her lips pouting the reason why I kind of feel the guilt on me, I can see the sandness on her eyes and fuck! The way she's looking at me makes me mad as if I was the one who did something wrong.
She stepped forward on me the reason why I felt conscious, she's being aggressive with her questions all of a sudden and this is the first time we are talking outside the Monreal Fields.
"You're always giving me a cold shoulder, as your secretary I have the right to communicate with you for your company but you're keeping a distance on us... I'm kind of mad that my boss is like that but I'm holding it"
The way she's saying this being visible all of a sudden made me feel the guilt, she cornered me already and asking the questions of me being uncomfortable around her.
I gulped and tried to gain my sense, all of a sudden there's something on this woman that made me wonder. Aliyah Calintaw, sa lahat ng kompanyang puwede mong pasukan ay bakit ang Monreal?
"What's with you talking normal on me? I'm your boss right but the way you're speaking, irritates me. You intervened my death and now you're asking questions--"
"If you will die then what do you think she will say?" she cut me out and pointed the grave of Sienna, I clenched my jaw and trying to hold my temper on her.
Para siyang bata na hindi nauubusan ng tanong at nakakainis dahil siya pa ang bumungad sa akin, nakakainis!
"Stop asking questions--"
"Don't die, Architect. Don't surrender yourself to heaven" she cut me out again the reason why I stepped closer to her and grabbed her arm with anger. Anong karapatan niya para utusan at putulin ang bawat sasabihin ko?
"Bakit ba ang lakas ng pakielam mo? Are you ruling me woman?" I asked with anger and she looks not scared on me grabbing her arm tightly, malalim niya akong tiningnan na may seryoso ba pa ring tingin sa akin.
Anong klase nanamang babae ang kaharap ko ngayon? Tangina, sawa na ako sa mga bunganga nila!
"Are you ruling me to say that?" mas lalong humigpit ang hawak ko sa braso niya ng lumalim ang tingin namin sa isa't-isa, the color of her eyes reminds me of someone and I can't deny that her eyes reminds me of Sienna.
"Matagal na" matipid niyang sabi na may seryosong tono na dahilan para ngumiwi ako, anong matagal na e' kakapasok niya nga lang sa kompanya ko at halos hindi niya naman ako kilala.
She held my hand and shove it away "If you want to talk about the woman you love then I'm willing to listen... tss, kind of friendly here" she chuckled a little the reason why it made me sarcastic.
Ngumiwi ako at bumaba ng bahagya para pantayan ang kanyang mga mata, sa pag-lapit ko sa mukha niya ay hindi ko inaasahan na mas lalo niyang ilalapit sa akin ang mukha niya na para bang hindi siya natatakot sa akin.
I was stunned for a second when I got closer on her face, the way she looked at reminds me of you Sienna. I'm sorry but looks like I'm in trouble on this woman.
"Wala pa ring bago sa'yo" she mumbled while roaming her eyes to every corner of my face as if she wants to memorize every part of it and here I am, letting her and being stunned because of her beauty.
What the fuck is happening to me?!
She cleared her throat and bringing her sense again to me "You can talk to me Architect, I'm not just your secretary... I can be your friend" she smiled at me ear to ear and you know what happened to me?
I was stunned when the sun rays hit her face with the winds playing at her hair, she's wearing a white dress and I don't know if I'm hallucinating again because this is not how my secretary acts.
Are you hallucinating again, Aly?
Is your imagination playing at you again?
Fuck! All I can feel is that everything is not that heavy like before, I can't explain but I know seeing this woman will also haunt me.
"Please live Architect Aly! Let's bring your company to top again!" she's like a ball of joy when the smile she's giving to me and here I am being stunned as if someone is playing a theater act on me.
"A-Am I hallucinating again?" I mumbled to myself at nasapo ko ang noo ko dahil baka mamaya ay pinag-lalaruan nanaman ako ng imahinasyon ko. If this is not real then take me out already because this play is not a joke anymore.
This imagination is playing at my feelings already and later, I will find out that I'm just alone and speaking all by myself.
Fuck this anxiety, halos mawala ka na sa sarili mo dahil sa lungkot na nararamdaman mo.
"You're not hallucinating Architect, this is real. Hindi ba sapat na ako ang nakikita mo para masabing hindi totoo ang mga nakikita mo?"
"Shut up, be a secretary not a friend"
Kinukusot ko ang mga mata ko at sinusubukang ibalik ang diwa ko dahil baka mamaya ay isang lokohan lang ang lahat ng ito.
I'm scared that I'm losing touch to reality, I'm scared to face that my delusion will hurt me.
"You can take me home" matapang niyang sabi na dahilan para halos malaglag ang panga ko dahil sa sinabi niya, umigting ang panga ko dahil sa tapang niyang sabihin 'yun sa boss niya.
"Ang lakas ng amats mo, bakit naman kita iuuwi sa bahay? "
"Wow, nahiya naman ako sa'yo" she chuckled the reason why I shook my head at mas nauna ng mag-lakad palayo sa kanya dahil hindi ko kinakaya ang mga salita niya sa akin.
Nakakainis na siya pa ang nag-tanong nun, the way she's talking down on me as if we are close already e' ito nga ang unang araw na nakapag-usap kami.
"Architect Aly! Wait lang!" ang sigaw niya na dahilan para mas lalo kong bilisan ang lakas ko na halos kulang nalang ay hingalin na ako, the ball of joy is chasing me and I know that I will just get irritates because of how stubborn she is.
"Architect! Ano ba?!" patuloy niyang tawag sa akin habang ako naman ay nagbibingi-bingihan lang na tumatakas sa kanya.
If this is only a hallucination then I will be the one who will escape on this, it hurts to find out that I might be crazy already talking non-sense without someone.
"Architect, saglit lang!"
Damn you Aliyah! Why are you chasing me ba? I hate your presence when you first came to my company and I did some distance to us because I know that I will just hurt your feelings.
Kulang nalang ay tumakbo na ako para makatakas lang sa kanya, ang kulit niya para siyang bata. Tangina!
"Putangina, ang sabi ko saglit lang Aly!"
Masama ko siyang binalingan ng tingin dahil sa mura niyang pagka-lutong na halos manggigil na siya sa akin, bakit niya ako minura?!
And the way she cursed is like speaking down to me, ang kapal naman ng mukha niyang murahin ako e' ako ang boss niya. Ewan ko ba sa mga babae, minsan ang lalakas ng loob.
"Tangina mo e! Wala akong balak pumasok sa track and field para habulin ka ha, ibato ko sa'yo 'tong sapatos ko e" gigil niyang sabi sa akin na dahilan para marahan akong mapa-hinga sa hangin.
Mapapamura nalang rin ako ng tangina dahil ang kulit niya, ngayong ay araw ay pakiramdam ko ay nakaka-suklam ito dahil ang sekretarya ko pa ang nag-mumura kaysa sa akin.
Ang lakas rin ng amats nitong isa, ang lutong mag-mura at hindi man lang nag-pasintabi na ako ang boss niya.
She's unbelievable and she's giving me a headache. I can't believe that she had the guts to speak and curse on her boss as if she's close to it, fuck you Aliyah.
"Hindi ko naman sinabi na habulin mo ako and also stop cursing at me, ang kapal naman ng mukha mong murahin ang boss mo"
"E makukuha ka lang ata sa mura e" kahit na maikli ang buhok niya ay nagawa niya paring ilagay ito sa isang side na dahilan para mapalunok ako ng parang kuminang ang leeg niya sa mga mata ko.
I felt my stare on her neck and losing my sense again, habang may natitira pang ulirat sa utak ko ay hinayaan ko nalang siya at nauna ng umalis.
"Bahala ka diyan sa buhay mo, Aliyah"
"Nye, ang tawag sa akin Aliyah... sana yung real name ko nalang"
She mumbled and I didn't bother to look at her because I can feel that I will lose it already if I'm going to stay with her.
Damn! That's the longest conversation we had and I could say that I still hate her presence, she's belittling me and cursing me. Ang kapal ng mukha, akala mo close na kaagad kami.
Hindi na nga ako sinundan ng sekretarya kong minura ako, I can't believe that she's like that ang akala ko pa naman ay hindi niya napapansin na dumidistansya ako sa kanya. I don't know why but Aliyah Calintaw is weird to me when she came to my company.
When I got to my house, it was a riot and there are some reporters who are trying to get inside my house the reason why my jaw clenched. Fuck! Everything is so fucked up and I don't even know what to say to them, mas mabuti nalang atang manahimik.
Nakita ko ang mga pulis na nasa gilid rin na nag-hihintay na dahilan para manghina ako ng bahgya, wala akong kinalaman sa mga ilegal na gawain ng mga magulang ko kaya anong ginagawa nila dito?
I bravely opened the door of my car the reason why I got the attention of the reporters, para sa isang iglap ay kaagad silang lumapit sa akin para pag-pyestahan ang aking sasabihin pero wala akong balak mag-salita.
When I came back on my house, everything became empty again and gloomy. I can't feel anything anymore as the reporters are trying to ask some questions that are relatable to my parents.
"Mr.Monreal, sangkot rin po ba kayo sa illegal trading of drugs at sa prostitution ng inyong magulang?"
"Ginamit rin po ba ang kompanya niyo para sa ilegal na negosyo ng magulang niyo?"
Hindi naman ako bingi para hindi marinig ang mga tanong nila sa akin, this day is chaotic and another challenge again in my life. Bakit ba kasi hindi nalang ako namatay kanina? Gusto ko nalang matapos ito lahat pero bakit hindi ko magawa?
The police came to protect me on the reporters and I know that they will talk to me for some informations, makukulong ba ako?
Even though I don't know their illegal business, makukulong ba ako?
Kung makukulong ako ay tatanggapin ko nalang na iyon na ang katapusan ng Monreal, my paradise is coming and even though it's hell well I don't care at all.
Nung nakapasok na kami sa mismong bahay namin ay kaagad ko silang tinignan ng blangko, nasa lima sila at hindi sila naka-suot ng unipormeng kulang asul "Are you guys also here to arrest me?" I asked them with a dead tone, if I will be arrested then it's my defeat already.
Kasuklam-suklam ang isang Monreal, a high class issue that made the country hate us.
"No, Mr. Monreal. We are here if you know this woman" my forehead creased when I saw a picture of a woman that the police gave to me, when I held it I almost collasped as this woman is wearing a fitted and reaveling dress.
She's with some foreigners while holding a drink, her make-up is heavy and the way she's smiling with the man holding her waist made my heart broke into pieces. When did this happen?
"It's Ms. Mariella Sienna Gallegos, sabi sa amin ng mga ilang trabahador ay isa siya sa mga babaeng pinag-kakakitaan ng ama mo limang taon ang nakakalipas and also in the hands of those men, she was beaten after that night"
What?
Para walang boses ang lumabas sa akin, my lower lip trembled when the police said as I'm looking to this woman who is bitterly smiling on those men who are gathering her. Why, Sienna?
Bumalik ka ba sa nakaraan mo at nag-trabaho ka sa tatay ko? Fuck! Why did you do that and also you are beaten after that night by this men?
"We are trying to find that woman and your company said that she's your secretary" the way the police said that made my heart stopped beating, seeing my woman being with these men forcing herself is ruining everything.
Kahit pala limang taon ang nakakalipas ay hindi pa rin siya nakakawala sa pamilya ko, ngayon ko lang nalaman ito at sobrang sakit na malamang ang babaeng mahal ko ay sinaktan ng mga lalakin ito ng wala man lang kalaban-laban.
Fuck! She was abused that night and my parents just let those men do that to her?!
"Y-Yeah, she's my secretary...pero wala na siya, she's one of the victim on bomb explosion in a mall three years ago" nabuo ang boses dahil sa si Sienna ang pinag-uusapan namin dito, how come these men beaten her?
I can imagine my Sienna begging for help to stop beating her and fuck! It hurts my heart as if everything that comes to me is already heavy and I can't handle it anymore.
Kahit pala limang taon kaming hindi nag-kita ay nag-hihirap pa rin pala siya, kahit pala wala ako sa tabi niya ay nag-hihirap pa rin siya. I should be the one who protected her that time but I wasn't there because I have no clue that my parents has this illegal business.
"The club that she's working is on Mr. Cheng, Sienna was one of his girls and Mr.Cheng also tried to manipulate her, dumating sa pananakit ang ginawa ni Mr. Cheng sa babaeng 'yan"
Tears are filling my eyes as this secret is starting to be revealed on me, limang taon kaming nag-kahiwalay pero hindi pa rin pala napuputol ang ugnayan niya sa pamilya ko. I should be the one who's with her that time, she was being abused at wala man lang akong nagawa.
Bakit siya bumalik sa club? Bakit siya bumalik atsaka alam niya bang ang binalikan niyang club ay hawak ng magulang ko?
I shut my eyes for a second because I'm already falling apart to know that the woman I loved was still on the hands of my parents' cruelty, hindi man lang ba sila naawa sa akin?
Tangina, hindi ko na matatawag na magulang ang mga 'yun dahil sa ginawa nila kay Sienna!
Nakakagalit na sinasaktan nila si Sienna, nakakagalit na si Mr.Cheng ay isa rin sa kumo-kontrol sa kanya. Imagine, ang dami niya ng pinag-dadaanan and she's trying to escape on them but she can't.
Hawak na ng masamang tao ang leeg niya at parang hindi ko mapigilan ang galit ko sa kanila, ang sahol ng ginawa nila sa mga babaeng ang gusto lang e' mag-trabaho pero bakit may kasamang pananakit?
"Pumupunta rin siya sa ibang bansa para mag-padala ng droga, pilit nilang nilalagay ang droga sa loob ng katawan niya para hindi ito mahalata."
Tama na, hindi ko na kaya.
Mas masahol pa sa hayop ang mga magulang ko, nakakagalit na ginagawa nila iyon sa isang tao. Nakakagalit na ang babaeng mahal ko pa ang pinagka-interisan nila, why are you like this?
Putting drugs on Sienna's body just to send some drugs, fuck! I can't imagine that my woman is unconscious and they are putting drugs inside her body.
Tangina, ganito ba kasahol ang mga tao?
I can't imagine that my woman is experiencing that kind of cruelty. Sinasaktan, minamanipula at nilalagyan ng drugs sa loob ng katawan, fuck! I can't imagine seeing my woman being unconscious on that kind of thing, grabeng pasakit ang binigay nila sa'yo Sienna.
I should be the one who's there but I don't know, hindi ko alam na sobrang bigat na pala ng nararanasan mo.
Everyone experimented your body and knowing that today is a death, nasa kamay ka ng mga magulang ko na halos sirain na ang lahat sa'yo.
I'm really sorry that I didn't know my parents' business, I'm really sorry that I failed to protect you.
"Hindi kami nandito para arestuhin ka, nandito kami at umaasang makikipag-tulungan ka sa amin" I shook my head because I can't feel my legs anymore, lahat ng mga nalaman ko ay halos ayoko ng isipin pa dahil taong mahal ko ang nakaranas nun.
I thought the five years of your living is good but you're still struggling with the cruelty of the world.
"Y-You can search in there house, you have my permission but please leave me alone..." nanghihina kong sabi sa kanila, binigyan ko na sila ng permiso para halungkatin ang bahay ng magulang ko dahil wala na ako sa ulirat ng malaman ang pinag-daanan ni Sienna.
"Thank you, sir" ang paalam nila sa akin at umalis na, nung ako nalang ang naiwan ay nahulog ang mga tuhod ko sa sahig at hindi mapigilan ang mga luhang tumulo nanaman dahil sa litrato ni Sienna kasama ang mga lalaking walang-awa sinaktan siya.
"I-I'm sorry that I didn't protect you that time..."
"If I realize that something is wrong then this will not happen..."
They are using your body to sent drugs to other countries, I felt my heart stopped beating because of what they revealed to me. Halos hindi ko na nga kinaya ng pag-kawala mo pero ang mga usapan parin tungkol sa'yo ay buhay na buhay pa.
Ang dami mong pinag-daanan at hindi man lang kita nasamahan sa lahat, pasensya kung wala ako sa tabi mo at mas pinili kong maging isang duwag.
"I'm really sorry that you experienced that, Sienna..."
"I-I'm sorry..." I cried out loud on this house that is empty but filled by your presence, paulit-ulit akong hihingi ng tawad dahil hindi ko nagawa ang pinangako ko sa'yo. Pasensya kung wala ako sa tabi mo nung panahong sinasaktan ka nila.
I can't bare this anymore, your death and what you experienced on the unfairness of the world is my defeat again.
My woman experienced the cruelty of this world and I'm not there to protect her, your haunting stopped when I visited your grave but I'm the one who's letting your presence to be here because I fucking miss you already.
The world is cruel to you and I accept that maybe the heaven took you away because it's time to rest already, mahirap tanggapin ang nangyare sa'yo at mabigat sa parte ko na wala man lang akong nagawa.
Despite the cruelty of people, you choose to fight but later on the heaven took you because you've done enough.
Maybe I don't really deserve you, ang dami ko ng binigay na sakit sa'yo pero nakuha mo pang alalahanin ang taong mahal mo kaysa sa sarili mo.
Hindi ka nga talaga bumalik, nakatulong ba nung umalis ka?
Hindi, dahil alam kong ako nanaman mismo ang mananakit sa sarili ko hanggang sa lunurin nalang ako nito...
Hanggang sa mawala na ako..