Opening his heavy front door and stepping into his apartment, Shawn was immediately aware that he was not alone.
Dropping his car keys onto the small, black iron table in the hallway he called out Justin's name.
...Silence.
Frowning and pushing open the dark wooden door to his front lounge, he barely had time to register Haileys presence before the ambush began.
"Were you with her?!" she crossed the room in a few long strides and her face was suddenly inches from Shawns, her ragged breath hitting his face as she yelled "well?!! "
Bracing himself for Haileys onslaught, Shawn regretted that he hadn't had more time to prepare for this. He hadn't had that alone time he'd promised Niall he would have before he attempted this conversation. He hadn't done the soul searching that he needed to do before attempting his explanation.
More importantly... he hadn't spoken to Camila
Instead Hailey had blind sided him. She'd hidden in the one place that should have been his safe house and she had launched her attack when he was completely unaware and completely unprepared.
Walking past the gorgeous blond, Shawn headed towards the window and attempted to put some distance between them, but as he turned around he found his girlfriend upon him again, her icy blue eye boring into him
"I asked you a question" She seethed "and don't lie to me, DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!"
Pulling air into his chest Shawn ran a hand over his chin and then answered in a firm, definite voice
"I wasn't with her"
"You're a liar!!!"
Shaking his head sadly he replied
" I might have done a lot of things but I've never lied to you"
Her face was uncomfortably close now and Shawn was backed up against the window sill, having failed in his efforts to find some space"
Pressing his lips together and tilting his head to one side he looked intently into Haileys face
"I wasn't with Mila"
"Don't you dare say her name like that, in fact, I don't ever want to hear her name again, do you understand me??? "
Turning away from him quickly Hailey paced to the couch where she remained, never sitting and never turning back to face him. When he gently spoke her name it seemed to break her free from her spell and she spun around, her blond pony tail whizzing around behind her.
"I can't believe that after everything we said yesterday you would go to her... do you know many times I called you, do you know how many times I came over here, were you with her then, with her when I was sick with worry?"
"I told you I wasn't with her" Shawns voice was calm, but he was quickly growing impatient with his girlfriends accusations "Why wont you believe that?"
"Okay, so where were you?" her hands crossed violently over her chest. She'd obviously been here, in his apartment, building herself into a rage for sometime, the empty coffee cup sitting on the table in his adjoining dinning room was proof of that
"I was here"
"Here, in your apartment? I came over yesterday, you didn't answer"
"I wanted some time to myself"
"So you ignored me when I was stood at your door and you ignored all of my messages?"
"You made some pretty heavy duty demands yesterday Hailey, I needed to work out what I was going to do"
"I told you what you were going to do" She was heading in his direction again and he took a couple of steps to his left so he was stood with his back to the open lounge door. The knowledge that he could escape if he had to allowed him to relax a little
"Hailey, I know that Camila being back here has been difficult for you"
"I told you I didn't want to hear her name"
"But that's just the point isn't it, you just don't want to hear anything I have to say"
Pushing up the sleeves of his long- sleeved black t-shirt, Shawn knew that there might never be a perfect time for this conversation, that there might never be a perfect place but it had to be done, he'd been putting it off for long enough, and Niall was right, he couldn't save everyone.
Hailey had given herself over to jealousy and insecurities, it had blinded her... all she could see was what her jealous mind would allow her to see.
A forced laugh escaped her lips before her face contorted into a dramatic look of disbelief
"Oh, is this where you try to turn it all around and blame it on me, tell me it's all going wrong because I don't listen to you?"
"No, it's where I ask you to sit down and tell you we need to talk. It's where you put aside your distorted version of what's going on here and let me tell you what's really happening, because we need to get this out in the open "
Shaking her head, Hailey headed for the door
"Sorry Shawn but you're right, I don't want to hear it. We agreed yesterday what was going to happen, so just stop with the disappearing acts and stick to the plan okay?"
Shawn knew this wasn't really Hailey talking, she'd come at him with a torrent of built up anger and unfounded accusations but now it was subsiding she realised she was on the brink of hearing the truths that she wanted desperately to ignore. She was panicking and attempting to run,
Grabbing her arm as she tried to brush past him, Shawn held her firmly in place as he growled
"There is no plan Hailey, all there is, is you and me and we need to talk, one way or another this is happening...today"
CAMILAS HOTEL ROOM
Struggling to regain her breath, Camila informed her visitor that she would be with them in a second and wrapping her still trembling fingers around the cold door knob she attempted to deepen her breathing before facing them
"Camila are you okay?"
The voice shocked her, she'd been expecting Niall, hoping for Shawn but expecting Niall not this... not now.
Looking down at her grey track pants and over sized grey sweatshirt Camila couldn't have felt more under dressed...or unprepared.
The nightmare that she had just woken from had shaken her badly. Mostly because she hadn't been expecting it. She wasn't sure why but ever since she'd returned home the nightmares that had tormented her sleep and caused her to doubt her own reality had faded a little, they hadn't stopped but they definitely felt less... real.
That was until last night anyways...
"Camila?"
"Okay, okay, I'm coming"
Sighing, she twisted the handle and stood face to face with her visitor and what made things worse was she looked stunning in a pair of figure hugging black jeans and a fitted, yellow shirt, the black beret she wore really set the outfit off and if Camila hadn't been feeling so self-conscious due to her own un-flattering outfit she would have told her so.
"Kendell..."
"Are you okay, I thought I heard you cry out"
"I'm fine, it must have been a nightmare" Looking down at her outfit she added "As you can see I was having a lazy morning"
It wasn't quite the truth but Camila doubted Kendell really wanted to hear how she felt so depressed since Shawn had left with Hailey yesterday and hadn't returned to finish their conversation that she had decided to spend this morning wallowing in the misery that was her life before meeting Niall for lunch and then hitting the mall to try and cheer herself up, unfortunately she had fallen asleep and her unconscious mind had played some terrifyingly real tricks on her
"Can we talk?"
"...Sure, come in"
Closing the door behind her, Camila had a terrible feeling that she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear
"Can I get you anything, a water?"
"No, I'd rather just say what I've come to say, I know that probably sounds rude"
Chewing on her bottom lip, Camila prepared herself for what ever bashing she was about to take this time but to her surprise Kendell sat down on the edge of her unmade bed and simply looked at her
"You know Camila, it's a shame things had to be like this, I met the guys long after you left and Shawn and Hailey are my friends"
"...and I'm not" It wasn't a question, Camila already knew the answer
"Maybe if circumstances had been different... I mean, Brian and Justin speak really highly of you. Or maybe in the future, you know, when this whole situation is over, in the mean time, Hailey is my best friend and she really needs someone to look out for her right now"
"Is that why you're here, to look out for her?"
Kendell nodded as Camila wrapped her arms tightly around herself
"Well Kendell, I don't think you need to worry about that, because she's got Shawn looking out for her right now"
To say Camila was a little bitter about Shawn leaving with Hailey yesterday instead of staying to finish their conversation would be like saying hell is only a sauna.
"Shawns not exactly reliable right now" In a heart beat the petite Cuban beauty responded
"Shawns one of the only men in the entire world that you can rely on, if you are really his friend you should know that without doubt"
"Things are strained between him and Hailey"
"And you think that's my fault?"
"Not necessarily, but she does. That's why she's asked Shawn to make a decision that I don't think he can make, and that's why I'm here, I'm here to ask you to make that decision for him"
SHAWN'S APARTMENT
Hailey stood gazing out of the front window of her boyfriends apartment and watched in silence as the world passed by as if in slow motion.
For months she's been running from the truth and trying to convince herself that the terrible nagging feeling in her chest was down to her own insecurities, but here she was in the one place she wanted to be with the one person she wanted to be there with and yet her heart was hammering in her chest as the foundations that she'd built her life on creaked and groaned all around her. Any second now they were going to give way because one look at Shawns face told her that everything was about to fall apart
"Hailey"
Shawns voice was so gentle, and filled with so much concern that she was struggling to stop herself from believing that this might not be going the way she was terrified it was.
"Hailz"
But she still couldn't force herself to turn around, she couldn't bare to look into his face because she knew that's where she would see the truth. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and Shawn's were a prime example of that
Forcing herself to turn around Hailey found Shawn sat on his leather sofa, his hands laced together over his long legs and his head bowed in quiet contemplation
His desolate profile told Hailey all she needed to know and she found her self fighting back tears before another word was spoken.
Lifting his head Shawn looked up at the woman who had given herself to him without reserve, the woman who had fought to fix him at a time he was too broken to fix himself. He felt ashamed of himself, no matter what he said it was going to hurt her and she didn't deserve it, but the truth wasn't pleasant, what he'd allowed himself to do wasn't far short of cruel
"I'm sorry"
Two words had crossed his lips and Hailey already wanted him to stop, she didn't want to know anymore. She wanted to tell him that whatever he was sorry for didn't matter, she would forgive him anything as long as he just stayed with her, but choking back tears she forced herself to ask why
"I've been living as somebody else for a long time now. Not on purpose, I don't think I even really realised myself until I was stood in my uncles cabin with the hair shaver in my hands. I've done things Hailey... said things... when I look back now I can't believe that I allowed myself to get so lost. I'm so ashamed of myself but you've got to believe that I didn't do it to hurt you I just... I don't know who I am any more"
Shawns words dripped of truth and remorse but they weren't making sense to either of them, he was trying to piece together his actions over the course of the past year and form an explanation with them but it was obvious he was struggling to make sense of things in his own head and in his own words
"Baby, it doesn't matter" Without realising she was doing it Hailey crossed the room and sat next to him. Taking his hand in hers she looked into his eyes, searching for a hint that there was something left to fight for.
"None of it matters, whatever you've done, I don't care, you've been going through hell and no one knows that better than me because I've been here, the whole time and I will always be here if you'll let me"
Her eyes were begging him not to do this, he could see it as clearly as though she were saying the words herself. Dropping his eyes Shawn looked at their hands. Their fingers were laced together, his looked so much larger and darker than hers... just like his soul!
"Hailey, I don't want to hurt you anymore"
"Then don't"
Releasing his hand Hailey raised her long fingers to stroke his face. The fact that he felt nothing from her touch simply reinforced his believe that this might not have been what he had intended to do today but for the first time in a long time he was doing the right thing
"Once Camila leaves we can be happy again, I promise you- it can be just like it was"
Closing his eyes Shawn knew his next words would break her heart, and although it was the last thing that he wanted to do he knew it was the only thing he could do
"It's not about Camila, not completely. Hailey, the truth is I was wrong to take our relationship any further than frienship."
The look of hurt that covered her face almost killed him. She didn't deserve this
"I was trying to fool myself that I was okay, I was trying to pretend that I didn't still feel the way I did. I knew how you felt about me and I used you to try and make myself feel 'normal' again but I should have made sure that I was free of one situation before I bound myself to another one"
Shawns statement hit the young blond like a blow to the stomach, and the tears that she had bravely been holding back began to flow.
Shaking her head from side to side she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She felt so sick that the only thing in her mind was making him change his mind
"Okay, so in the beginning it wasn't right, you weren't ready after Camila and I understand that. Maybe I did try to push you into things too quickly but we've been happy Shawn, I know that it hasn't all been a lie. Look me in the eye and tell me that it hasn't all been a lie"
Sobbing, she whispered
"Tell me"
"I..."
"TELL ME!"
"Hailey, things between us... I care about you and I owe you so much I just...I don't want to hurt you..."
"So why are you doing this to me?" Her voice was quiet and child-like
Standing quickly Shawn needed space, this was the most difficult thing he had ever done, he was holding back, trying not to hurt her anymore than necessary but he found his half truths hurting and confusing her more.
Turning back to Hailey he found her with her head in her hands, her back rising and falling with sobs. Lifting her head she looked into his eyes and all Shawn could see was the damage he'd done
"You never wanted me did you? It's always been about her, I've always been your attempt to replace her"
Shawn found himself unable to deny it
"I guess I've always known it, it's always felt as though there were three of us in this relationship, us and her ghost. I just don't get it, what she did, I would never..."
"I know"
"Then why? Why can't you just move on.?"
The shrug he gave was an unconscious answer to a question he had never been able to answer
"Help me to understand this because I don't. I've been everything I could and I have given you everything that I had and it's not enough. She has done nothing but take things from you and you still want her"
"I don't know the answer, all I can tell you is that no matter what happens, no matter how hard I try not to I just... I still feel it and I don't know when or if that will ever change"
Returning her head to her hands Hailey began sobbing uncontrollably. Everything she had feared, everything she had tried to convince herself wasn't the truth had just ploughed into her heart and as her life came crumbling down around her she felt Shawn crouch before her and place his hands on her knees
"Please... please forgive me"
Looking into his dark eyes and wiping tears away from her own she whispered
"You were wrong Shawn, what you said before"
"What about?"
"When you said that you'd never lied to me. You've lied to me about everything and I'm sorry if you don't like it but I will never forgive you for that"
CAMILA'S HOTEL ROOM
Folding the soft cream sweater into her suitcase Camila resolved not to cry over this.
Kendells words reverberated throughout her entire being and no matter how much it was breaking her heart the tall, model like brunette had been right, now was the time for her to finally do the right thing by Shawn and walk away.
He deserved the chance to strengthen his relationship with Hailey now that he had the answers he required from her. He deserved the chance to rebuild his life without her continuously turning up and tearing it all down.
When Camila had brought Shawn to his knees Hailey had picked him up, she'd healed him and yet all Camila could do was continue to break him.
Shawn deserved more- he deserved to be happy and Kendell had been right when she'd told Camila that now was the time to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of the man she still loved... the man she would always love, and the man her heart would eternally long for