"'She was so
Powerful
Not because she wasn't
Scared
But because she went on so
Strongly
Despit the
Fear.'"
- Atticus
_____
Shredding skin off of a beautiful albino rabbit, Bear took her time with the delicate fur. She wanted to create something out of it for Eliza. But, she also felt that it's beautiful fur that got it killed, deserved the body to be taken with care.
The care it should've gotten, instead of a ruthless teenager stabbing it for an easy kill.
Standing by the small fires, Octavia hooked up the meat to which Bear had finished. It wasn't really the job either of the girls wanted, but they knew nobody else would take considerable care for these creatures after death like they have.
They even buried some of the skins, in hopes that Gaia would rebirth the beautiful animals to its rightful glory.
"Legs get this party smoking!" Del cheered, dropping a couple of logs into the fire besides Bear, who sneered at the chivalrous boy.
"You don't want the fire too big, so maybe just try to knock it down with some wet leaves," Octavia instructed.
"You get that from your boyfriend, Grounder Pounder?" Del smirked.
Turning around swiftly, Bear latched onto the boys hood. Striking the knife into his neck, even though she was smaller, she looked like the animal she was named after.
Pressing softly enough to not cause an actual cut, but enough to make the boy realise that she wasn't afraid to slice it if she deemed it worth her time.
"Watch that tongue, or else you'll find it cooking on the fire next," Bear hissed.
A silhouette appeared behind the boy, Murphy, who carefully dropped off another small rabbit that made Bear want to scream at the hunters.
"She's right. A hot fire isn't gonna preserve meat as well," Murphy sighed,"Bear, don't kill him."
Peeling away from the boy, she pretended to go at him again, snickering as Del stumbled back a bit in fear.
In a way, Bear liked the fear that came with people knowing who she really was. A girl who killed a guard with her own teeth, gruesome, deadly.
Some even called her bloodlustful.
"If you can't take the heat, get out of the smokehouse," Del sassed, after waiting for Bear to be behind the table,"You should be kissing our asses for being allowed back in this camp. Just keep working."
When Del left, Bear grinded her small knife against a sheer rock. Her teeth grinding together, as the metal guard around her face bloomed with heat from the fire.
"Can I kill him?" She mockingly asked,"I mean, he pretty much just asked to be killed."
"We aren't killing anybody, Bear," Octavia sighed, looking at the brunette,"we're better than these Bellamy wannabes."
"I'd make life much more enjoyable to mysteriously get rid of him, though," Bear grumbled.
That comment earned a soft laugh from Octavia, one of the few people who was not afraid to hang around Bear without fear or a guard up around herself.
They've grown close.
Pocketing the beautiful white fur of the albino rabbit, Bear began to peel the fur off of an exotic looking squirrel that seemed to be two times the sizes she was told they were.
Suddenly, an ember from the fire trickled onto the wood wall behind the fire, without either three of the kids noticing. The ember strengthened in the woods core, as it flew up the side of the shed.
It was only when Bear looked up wondering how it suddenly got hotter in here that she saw that a whole side of the shed had caught fire.
"Fire!" A bloodcurdling voice called, bringing Bear back to reality.
Shoving the table out of her way, she yanked Octavia away from the flames. Placing herself between Octavia, Murphy, and the wall of flames, she shoved the two out of the door quickly.
Stumbling outside, Bear felt a searing pain, as the fire whisked at her feet. Jumping upwards, she prayed that the fire wouldn't catch her dress.
As they got outside, all three took a huge gulp of fresh, cool air.
Leaning down, Bear placed her hands on her knees, as her heart accelerated at the idea of almost being burnt to a crisp. Murphy stood over her, his arm hanging loosely over her shoulder, whispering comforting words.
That was, until he saw Del standing near the door.
"This is all your fault," Murphy yelled,"we told you it was too much wood!"
"Get the hell away from me!" Del yelled, as he slammed his fist into Murphy's side.
That made Bears canines appear, as she grinned like a predator with its prey. Stomping over to Murphy, she pulled him off of Del.
"Hey, than-"
Del was cut off when Bear shoved the knife at his neck, as she grabbed his cheeks in an iron grip. The reflection of the flames in her eyes made her look dangerously beautiful.
"What did I tell you would happen if you opened your big mouth again," Bear growled, pressing the knife closer into Dels neck.
This time, causing blood.
"Hey!" Bellamy shouted, yanking Bear off of Del, as she hissed and kicked in his grasp,"Save it for the grounders."
Letting go of Bear, she looked at Del from over the boys shoulder. He clung his neck, that only dribbled slightly with blood.
Pussy, Bear thought.
"Your lucky your boyfriend stepped in," Bear seethed, as she stepped back.
Monty came out of the crowd and handed Bear her metal rod, as she slightly stumbled. She needed her third leg, she wasn't used to two just yet.
And by that, she meant she pretended she needed the rod to help her walk sometimes - but she really didn't need it, she just liked to hold it knowing she could bash somebody up like a baseball bat to a ball.
"Bell, now what the hell are we gonna do?" Octavia called out, heart wrenchingly,"That was all the food."
Everyone awkwardly looked to the burning shed. Bear watched as the flames ripped their way through the shed, burning their food, as tendrils of smoke reached desperately into the sunset ridden sky, as if trying to escape the blazing inferno below.
A sly grin cracked against Bears face, she didn't mean it in a humorous matter though. She was the type to smile and laugh at awkward and bad situations.
Loosing all their meat stock before winter was scheduled to come was definitely a 'CODE SHIT THIS IS BAD' situation.
To summarise, Bear reasoned you herself that the sky grin on her face could not be recoiled, as the flames turned their shed to ash.
As the fire swept away the shed, Bellamy sentenced everybody to bed like naught children and he the parent.
Of course, Bear didn't sleep, she just watched as the flames disintegrated into embers, and the embers into ash.
What the hell was she going to do for work now?
Pulling out the white fur from her jacket pocket, a jacket with a small, white guardsman emblem, Bear wondered what she'll create out of the fur for Eliza.
-
"Each crew take someone with a gun!" Bellamy ordered, as Bear slipped inside.
After all, her last job recently burnt to an actual crisp, she needed to find another job before Bellamy or Clarke would breathe down her neck for not working and being a lazy ass.
She'd honestly rather be a lazy ass to be honest.
"-But they're for killing Grounders, not food. We don't have the ammo. Use the spears for hunting! Get what you can and be back by nightfall, no one stays out after dark!"
Bear grabbed a bag of rations, before heading back outside. After all, her new metal rod was better to kill with than a mere stick with sharp edges.
Walking outside, Bear watched as everybody began to tear up, she even noted that Clarke and Finn teamed with some pipesqueak. She felt sorry for the little guy, he was bound to become the third wheel in that team.
"To go alone," Bear hummed, tapping her chin,"or too... befriend a stranger..."
A slight shiver ran down Bears spine at the idea of having to be stuck with some random person with a couple of hours, making small talk.
She'd rather test the waters, and outrun the Jaguars alone.
Pulling on her backpack that had once held Lincolns sketchbook, she stuffed in a days worth of rations, a dodgy water bottle that was bound to spill water everywhere, and a small knife if need be.
Looking at the sharp piece on the end of her metal rod, she nodded to herself, it was sharp enough to make a big, quick kill.
She wanted to eat, but she didn't want to kill. To substitute, she'll put all her power into killing animals quickly so that they won't feel any pain.
Hopefully.
Zipping up the pockets of Bears jacket, which was technically Bellamy's, she touched the white fur for good luck - before slipping into the woods alone, before Bellamy would notice she'd teamless.
Stepping out into the woods, Bear made her way in the opposite direction of everybody else, noting to herself that the animals will get startled by all the noise and move her way.
Hopefully.
That was the plan.
Bear noticed the silky smooth leaves that brushed against her legs, as the chirping of birds were heard above. The falling leaves flutter down, as Bear tossed her head back and raised her eyes to the sky.
A smile spread from cheek to cheek, as the branches above swayed. The trees looking as if they were stuck in a chaotic dance, hypnotising their surroundings beautifully.
She suddenly started to spin in circles like a little girl, with her arms thrown outwards, fingers spread as if they were reaching for her surroundings.
Stumbling back, she smiled as she moved on, feeling the rush of an unlived childhood churn in her mind.
Taking note of the time of day, Bear realised it was the perfect moment that deers would come out to forage and play.
Moving slowly through the forest, Bear pulled her metal rod off the ground, as she heard a soft snap up ahead.
Predator to prey.
Staring ahead, Bear saw a pack of deer up ahead, it made her slightly envious of their tight knit community. Watching them for a while, Bear wanted to eat, but it doesn't mean that she wouldn't take the time to appreciate the beauty of their build.
One of them looked like the one she had seen when they first touched down on earth. Two faces morphed on to one neck.
Leaning against a tree, Bear pulled her rod backwards, before stepping forward and using her upper arm strength to let the rod ripple through the sky.
She aimed at one that seemed old, and weak.
She didn't want to kill one that still had years to live.
As the metal rod smacked into the side of the deer, an agonising sound leapt from its lips, as it stumbled sideways. Rushing forward, Bear yanked the knife from her bag.
She missed the heart.
The deer around began to quickly scatter, leaving behind its family member. Bear didn't have the patience to go after them, yet.
She had to help the one she had hurt.
As her knees smacked the ground beside the deers beautiful face, she didn't hesitate, as she sliced at its neck with hopes it'll just die.
Blood quickly poured from the neck, as Bear pulled her metal spear from its side. What would've been a whimper, sounded like a gurgling mess, as the deers eyes stared up at Bear.
The light in its eyes started to drain, as Bears eyes sheened over. Cupping the animals face, she stroked the top of its head softly. It was beautiful.
"I'm sorry," Bear whispered, before she, again, plunged the knife into the animal.
A screech left its lips, as its body fell limp. That was the moment Bear knew she had to grow a thicker skin to animals, if killing one deer hurt her, how will she survive?
Sitting by the deers body, she waited for the blood dry out. Didn't need a jaguar catching scent of the deers blood and following it back all the way to camp.
-
The blood had been drained, after almost two hours, which had caused ultimate boredom for Bear. Who knew so much blood was packed into such a fragile looking creature.
During those two hours, she had talked to the creature as if it were alive and understanding each word that fell from her lips.
She was know trudging towards the camp, alone, in slight darkness - with a deer strapped to her back. Looking forward, she could make out the flickers of the torches around the wall.
"Fucking finally," Bear hummed,"Sorry Deery, but this is where you are turned into meals."
Scrunching you her nose, Bear noted to herself how horrible that sounded, so she made herself come up with a better goodbye for the deer that she had killed.
"I hope you're with Gaia right now," Bear smiled,"you are very beautiful, so I could only imagine that Gaia would bless you with a reincarnation, if not, she'll make you a forest spirit. If you become a forest spirit, please do not resent me. I'm sorry for your death."
Cutting the ropes that attached the deer to her back, she held it in her arms bridal style, as the deers legs stuck upwards.
Walking through one of the few entrances of the camp, Bear noticed that not many people had come back with kills.
That's what happens when you make so much noise and travel in big pacts.
Dropping the deer off, delicately, at the table dedicated for the hunters findings. Bears eyes looked up to meet Bellamy's from across the table.
"Where were you," he ordered.
"Out," Bear sighed, reaching forward and pulling the eyelids down on the deer.
It's wide eyes pained Bear too much to look at.
"Alone?"
"Yes, dad, what're you gonna do about it?" Bear mocked,"besides, I brought back a deer!"
"You could've gotten hurt," Bellamy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose,"why didn't you tell me you didn't have a team, I would've gone with-"
"Because I didn't want to go with you, or anybody!" Bear grumbled, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
"Bear-"
"Shut up," Bear growled, as she walked around Bellamy,"just be greatful I brought something back at all."
As Bear swivelled past Bellamy, she knew she was being childish. Deflecting a moment, and running away, before either of them could actually talk.
Grumbling to herself, she anxiously fiddled with the zipper of her - Bellamy's - jacket. Seating herself on the furthest Firepit from where she had left the deers dead body, she leaned forward, and placed her elbow on her knees.
Clasping her hands together, she leaned into her hands, as she whispered,"May the animals who've died today be blessed by Gaia."
Her hands peeled off of eachother, as her palms became a pillow for her forehead.
She knew she should talk to Bellamy about all that had happened, he hurt her, he broke her trust and strangled her faith and friendship in him.
But had she not done the same thing, by pretending to be dead, by playing a different person?
The Bellamy now was different than back then, Bear felt she wouldn't be able to receive a justification from his actions from this Bellamy. All he'd do is deflect, just as she had done.
Deflect.
It's something the both of them had in common, probably the only thing they have in common now.
She saw from the corner of her eye as Bellamy escaped into his tent, he probably thought he was stealthy, but Bear saw him.
He definitely had a girl in his bed, warming it up for him, now pulling him in to her embrace. Good thing Bear didn't keep him waiting at the hunters table.
Bear doesn't slut shame anybody, if anything, she was slightly jealous so many people have had themselves thrown at down here. Nobody liked the girl with a dark story about her.
But, then again, most of them seemed very, very straight, and last time Bear checked - she was very, very gay.
At the sound of moans, Bear skewed up her face in displeasure,"oh, gross," she heaved.
Picking herself up, she walked to an entrance on the other side of camp that wasn't guarded, thats because it wasn't really an entrance, it was a hole under the fence that Bear had made for Octavia to sneak through.
Using it herself, she wondered up to a tree just outside the walls, and began to climb it.
Now, Bear had never really climbed a tree by herself before, so to the eyes of those who have - she definitely looked like an absolute wreck trying.
Braving herself upwards, she used her metal rod to put between two branches and help stabilise herself.
When she had gotten to the furthest branch she felt comfortable on, she looked down at the camp below her feet. Leaning to the side, she reached both arms around the tree.
She was hugging the damn tree so she wouldn't fall.
Her feet, dangling off of the branch, her eyes traced over the minuscule campground, taking note of everything and everybody down below.
She could see Murphy gutting the fish that some of the hunters had found, Bear could only imagine the displeasured scowl he was wearing, as he yanked out the tiny guts.
Looking to the wall, she could make out Kage and Tangerine talking to one another. Bear imagined Tangerine was probably giving a horrifically detailed version of how to shoot something down quickly to Kage.
Then, her eyes befell upon Ravens tent, which had no light on inside. Honestly, Bear didn't have to think hard to now where she may be right now and what she's doing.
Her eyes trailed upwards, across the forest, to the night sky that was painted with stars. She remembered her fathers favourite painting, 'The Starry Night' by Vincent Van Gogh, they had a poster version of it hung up on their wall in the living room.
Caden stared at it more than he did the television.
The stars reminded Bear of spilt sugar against a black tabletop. Even in the velvet of darkness that cocooned the sky, there is the light of the stars.
Reaching above her head, Bear traced lines between the stars, as she had memorised the constellations due to her father. He loved the galaxy.
You'd think that people on the ark would be sick of the stars, as that was all they could see, but not her father. Bear believed there was a trapped child inside of him who wished to pounce on the stars and name them after his beautiful wife and family.
Looking to the side, she saw a pattern between stars that she had never read about in any book. Tracing the lines between them, as if she were playing connect the dots, she saw in her blurred vision what looked like a symbol of connection. Overlapping halos.
"I'll name you Caza," Bear smiled,"After my parents, they were beautiful people. You should be a proud constellation to be named after such amazing people."
As she began her descent back to the ground, she noticed a silhouette beneath her. Which made her pause in her movements.
That was until the person spoke,"Bear?"
Octavia.
Sliding down the rest of the way, Bear fell to the ground with ease, somehow.
"What's up?" Bear asked, nonchalantly.
"Where you just- Nevermind," Octavia sighed,"Clarke and Finn aren't back from their hunt yet, we're going after them... wanna come?"
Nodding her head, Bear tightened the strap of her backpack,"sure, it's not like I was gonna actually sleep tonight anyways."
-
"Where are they," Raven whispered.
"We'll find them," Octavia reassures, cocking her gun.
"This morning all I could think about was how much easier this would all be if Finn was just... Gone," Raven drawled out.
At this moment in the conversation, Bear had, reluctantly, blocked out Ravens and Octavias speaking. All this talk about hardships in relationships was making Bear want to take a knife to her ear and cut it off.
But, that still probably wouldn't solve the annoyingness of a choice in conversation.
Bear had been put on radio duty, which was not fun, as Bellamy wasn't made aware of her being a part of this mission till he heard her voice crackling through the radio.
He had yelled at her about responsibility and needing to actually sleep to which she responded with sarcastic comments about Bellamy not being her dad - therefore, not being allowed to tell her what to and what not to do.
"Is anyone else hearing this signal?" Monty's voice crackles through the radio.
"Mhm," Bear replied,"but it's probably nothin."
"It's the same thing I heard on the black box from the exodus ship," Monty replied.
"Monty, pay attention, do you see anything?" Bellamy's voice cut through.
"Oh my god," Monty whispered.
Bear pressed down onto the channel button, as Monty's side suddenly went quiet,"Monty?"
Monty did not answer.
"Moo, are you there?" Bear called again, with slight urgency.
Suddenly, there was movement ahead of them, with which all three of the girls noticed. Raven and Octavia moved in, quietly.
"Bellamy, there's somebody in the bushes," Bear whispered,"or an animal, ya know, they move bushes too."
If Bellamy bothered to press down on the channel button, Bear knew that she'd just hear an annoyed sigh of her rambling.
As Bear coiled back her arm, unafraid of having to use the spear if need be, Octavia reached forward and peeled the bushes back quickly.
Only to show a boy in absolute agony.
"Myles?" Octavia questioned.
"Who?" Bear wondered.
She'd never seen this guy in her life, well, by her life she meant her slightly introverted life of not seeking out strangers at camp to talk to besides those she had befriended.
Then it hit her,"oh, you! You were with Finn and Clarke."
Raven and Octavia moves to the younger boys rescue, as Bear watched over their surroundings.
"Myles, what happened? Where are they, Clarke and Finn? Where are they?" Raven asked.
"Grounders took them," Myles gurgled out.
That was when Bear noticed the two arrows sticking out of him. She understood the agonising pain.
"Take it easy," Bellamy whispered, causing Near to jump out of her skin, as she realised he suddenly stood behind him,"We have to get him back to camp."
"Bell, what about Clarke and Finn?" Octavia wondered.
They all stood there for an awkward moment of silence, before Bear finally looked at Bellamy,"I could take him back to camp."
"Alone? No, it's too dark, and there's grounders around," Bellamy quickly shot down.
"But I ca-"
"I said no, Bear!" Bellamy growled, cutting her off,"no means no, get that through your thick skull."
A surprisingly stagnant whimper grumbled from Bears throat, as she looked away from the older Blake who loomed over her.
"Don't tell me what to fucking do," Bear whispered.
Raven suddenly stood up,"we need to make a stretcher."
Bear recoiled away from Bellamy, as she made her way after Raven to help her create a stretcher for the boy in pain. This has put a stop to their findings in Clarke and Finn.
"Monty, we're heading home, you copy?" Bellamy called.
"Monty, can you hear me?"
This stirred an unsettling feeling in Bears stomach, as she looked up at Bellamy from her position on the ground, collecting branches.
"You shouldn't have let him go off alone," Bear said, in a monotone voice.
She didn't want to unsettle the already enraged Bellamy.
"Monty," Bear called into the radio,"Moo, where are you?"
Only static responded to Bears desperate cries into the radio.
———————————————————————————
Authors note:
Hello! Thought I'd drop by and ask you guys how you're feeling about the book so far! Do you like Bear, or not?