(Listen to Delicate by Damien Rice for a fuller experience, my loves)
I don't know why I keep checking my phone for new messages if I don't want to talk to anyone. I guess I still found some comfort in knowing they cared. Even if it didn't matter at the moment. Jason called multiple times and he and Drew wouldn't stop sending texts I didn't even bother reading. Lis called as well and even though I don't know how I feel about her, I also didn't answer. Did she lie to me as well? When we went shopping last Tuesday and she said she wasn't going much to Drew's apartment, was it true?
The thing about lies is that they make you doubt everything else that was once true and real.
Calum doesn't call. Or text. And to be honest, I also don't feel like talking to him by the time he gets home. It's past 3 in the morning when I hear the jingling of keys in the front door and even though I haven't slept at all, I still turn to my side with eyes closed and pretend to be sound asleep. His stumbling feet trip over his own shoes and Cal makes a lot of noise while entering the bedroom, clearly drunk. I crack my eyes open just enough to see him taking off his clothes, throwing it on the floor and joining me in bed. Calum tries to wrap his arms around my body and pull me to him but I pretend to shift in my sleep and break out from his grip. I don't want him to touch me right now, it only irritates me even more.
"I'm here now, baby" He mumbles into my hair, making my temper rise "Sweet dreams, my love"
I'm here now, baby. I replay the words in my head, growing even more annoyed by it.
Well, now it's of no use. Where were you when I actually needed you, Calum? Getting pissed drunk at some party with your friends and coming home to me later than late. In two minutes, I can hear his light snores beside me and this time, I can't help but groan out of frustration. Feeling my blood boil and wanting nothing more than hit Calum with the lamp on my nightstand, I get out of bed and march down the hallway, into the playroom. Duke follows me this time - which never happens when Cal is home - and I begin crying all over again.
"Thank you, Duke" I pet the puppy that is snuggling himself on my chest, giving me more love and support than anyone at the moment
This time, I eventually end up crying myself to sleep. I wake up to my alarm, set for earlier than usual since today I'm not taking Calum's car. I also don't want to see him this morning, so I make sure not to disturb his peaceful sleep as I get ready and out of the house.
I busy myself at work, not allowing to stop even for a glass of water. I ignore my phone, leaving it inside my purse and skip lunch for the day since I'm not hungry. It's almost 4p.m. when Cintia, the receptionist on our floor comes looking for me, saying there is a young man downstairs waiting for me.
"We can continue tomorrow" Clark tells me with a friendly smile "You can go, Georgia"
I nod, slightly disappointed and secretly wishing he would tell me I had to stay longer. I gather my things on my desk before heading downstairs and for once, I'm not excited to see Calum. I'm still mad at him even though he doesn't know half of the story. Much to my surprise, I'm greeted by a dark haired boy, waiting for me outside of the building but this one has green eyes, instead of chocolate ones.
"Drew"
"Can we talk? Please, G" He pleas "Jason is working at the club but he said we can meet him there. Just let me explain"
"I don't think there is anything to explain" I say, trying to walk past him but Drew is quick to follow
"There is and I need to tell you so you can forgive me" His voice is desperate but I'm too mad to care "You are my family, Gia. More than Derek, even. But he is my blood and I can't turn my back on him"
I stop in my tracks to study his features. Drew is a terrible liar, has always been one, and I can easily tell when he's being honest. Which, right now, he is.
"What I did was wrong, I know it and I'm so sorry but please just hear me out" He practically begs "Let's meet Jason at the golf club and talk about it"
"Okay" I nod, taking him by surprise "Let's talk"
Drew offers me a half smile and gestures for me to follow him. We walk among the people on the sidewalk in silence until we reach the car. Jason's classic and old car which he never allows Drew to drive - unless it's an emergency. I say nothing but my face must've given away my thoughts since he is quick to explain:
"It was an emergency"
From Calum:
Good morning my love
How did you sleep?
I'm sorry I didn't see you leave this morning
Why didn't you take the car today??
Baby
Where are you
Are you mad at me for going to the party?
Those were the texts from Calum waiting from me when I checked my phone, on my way to the golf club. No missed calls. He didn't even tried calling me when I didn't answer his messages the entire day. Deciding I will deal with it later, I ignore Calum's poor attempt of contacting me and focus on the song playing on the radio until we reach the club. It's been a few months since I've been here but it's still the same as when I was a little kid and my family came here to spend the weekends. Drew and I take a seat by the window at the bar upstairs and it doesn't take long until Jason joins us, dressed in his uniform and apron.
"Hey Gi"
Right now, everything about Jason is apologetic. The tone of his voice greeting me with a simple Hi is already apologizing. The look on his face and the way he carries his shoulders. How he pulls out his chair and takes a seat on it. He doesn't need to tell me he feels like shit because he already looks like it.
"Hi" I reply, feeling very unsure about my feelings at the moment
Jason and Drew come in my life nowadays as a combo but it wasn't always like this. For a very long time, it was only Jason and I, ever since he was nothing but a spoiled rich kid. I've known Jason since we were both 7 years old and he was practically my first friend in Los Angeles. I could easily say he was my first friend ever because I moved out of San Francisco when I was 5 and don't remember making any long lasting friendships at that age.
"We know we fucked up" Jason starts off saying "We should've never hidden this from you and I'm so sorry we did it"
"But we never lied" Drew adds "We never said Derek wasn't living with us"
Jason throws an indignant look his way as if saying 'You are not helping' before we fall into a short silence. I love these two boys with my entire heart and there is nothing they could do that would change that. But I can't quite ignore the feeling inside of me, the feeling of hurt and betrayal.
"How long?" I ask after a while "For how long has he been living there?"
"It's been a little more than a week" Drew tells me
"And we were going to tell you" Jason is quick to add "We never planned on hiding this from you but..."
" But we weren't expecting you to stop by so suddenly"
"Which you are more than welcome to do. Stop by anytime you want" Jason explains as if I was a kid "You have the keys and that is still your apartment too"
"It was my fault, really" Drew takes all the blame "I offered him a place to stay, Derek never asked for anything"
"Except the money" I bitterly add, feeling like a complete bitch the next second
"Yes, except the money" Drew slowly agrees, sadness written all over his expression
We fall back into silence once again. I fold the napkin in front of me a million times, analyzing it as if it's the most interesting thing in the world.
"Don't you hate him?" I quietly ask, wondering if I would be able to hate Aaron if he did the same to me
"I did, for a long time" Drew admits "But then my hatred turned into envy because for many times I wish I could run away from all of that, and I never did"
No one says a single word. I can't say I understand Drew because I grew up in an stable home. I had both my parents figures always present in my life while Drew had none of it. His mother died while giving birth to Derek and his father became abusive and alcoholic shortly after she was gone.
"Derek says my father always blamed him for my mother's death, cause that's what he would say when he hit him. He thought that if he disappeared, my father would stop... being like he is" He explains, tearing my heart apart
I've always judged Derek and always hated him for doing what he did. I blamed him for everything that Drew had to go through and never once tried to see the other side of things.
I met Drew when we were 14, he was the school's bad boy and I was the teacher's pet. Our teacher - Mrs Bloom, the one Alec had a fling with - assigned us together for a Biology project and we instantly hated each other. Drew already smoked by the age of 14, he skipped half of the classes and slept through the other half of them. He would usually come to class with bruises and busted knuckles and I thought I had Drew figured out just by looking at him. I was quick to judge and label him - like everyone else did. The project lasted 3 months and by the end of it, we became friends. I promised to tutor him and help him pass his classes if he promised to work on his anger. He was very short tempered at the time and recurred to violence frequently when trying to solve his problems. Jason and Alec thought I had gone insane because like I first did - they had also judged Drew way too quickly.
"He is nothing but trouble, Gigi. You shouldn't be associating yourself with him" I remember Alec telling me and making me very angry
Drew walked the hallways alone and had no one to call a friend because people were stupid and judgemental. And since my always overprotective friends didn't want me spending time alone with Drew, I started inviting him to sit with us at lunch. At the time, it was me, Jason, Alec, Lis, Natalie and Eric - Nate was the last one to join our group. I remember seeing Drew alone all the time and used to think he didn't like company - or was simply a loner - but the truth was that no one took their time to really get to know him.
Because once you do, I swear there's no way you won't like Drew.
"Of course Derek got himself into big trouble while living on the streets" Drew continues "He started using drugs and after a while, he was dealing as well to try and make some money"
Jason has extended a hand to Drew's shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. I know it's also a tough subject for Jas since his sister struggled with her addiction for a few years before she went to rehab. The difference is that Jason comes from an structured wealthy family that was able to provide Jules support and the treatment she needed. Jason's family still pays for Drew's father clinic and I think it is because they know what is like to go through all of this.
"Derek tried to bail out but his boss didn't let him. He's been clean for almost an year now and I told him if he started using drugs again, I'd kick him out of the apartment" Drew says
"He doesn't even smoke weed with us" Jason tells me
"I said I'd help him quit this life if he promised to look for a job so he can go to college some day" Drew adds, making me smile
Derek is really lucky to have a big brother like you, Drew. I think to myself, but say nothing.
"That's why I'm helping him pay his debts" Drew concludes "So he can be set free from his past"
"We are" I correct my friend, earning an instant smile from both the guys sitting across from me "I'm obviously not his biggest fan because I still think he could've called you to say at least that he was alive and safe. He left you dead worried for four years and for that, it will take me a while to forgive him"
Both Jason and Drew nod at my words and I wonder if they agree with me or if they simply respect my opinion.
"But he is your brother and you are a brother to me, Drew" I genuinely say, making their smiles widen "So you can always count on me, for whatever it is. I felt betrayed when I got there and saw Derek living in the apartment, as if he was my replacement. It hurt and I hated that you didn't feel like you could tell me all of this sooner"
"I wanted to..." Drew trails off "And I should've told you sooner. I knew you would understand in the end"
I nod, offering him a shy smile.
"He is not your replacement, G" Drew finally says, calming my heart
"No one is" Jason adds, standing up from his seat and opening his arms to me "Come here, G. I hate fighting with you"
I am soon embraced in a tight hug by two very tall and muscular men, who I remember once were just two awkward skinny boys. I mean, they are men now but will always be my boys.
When we were in 9th grade, Jason was already captain of the soccer team in Junior League but still hadn't warmed up to Drew. Alec and Eric were friends with him - Drew being the first person Eric opened up to about being gay - and Lis always pretended not to like Drew, but in fact, liked a little too much. Jason did everything in his power to prevent Drew from joining the soccer team and I hated him for it. It turned out okay because Drew really is a lame soccer player and eventually began taking swimming more seriously. During senior year, Drew competed across the state several times and we would always tag along, for both support and fun. When Jason and I got into the same Business school, Drew applied for his scholarship in the same institution.
"I still don't know what I want to do for a living" I remember Drew told us on the day of our graduation "But I know I would be lost without you"
"I will get us something to drink. What do you want?" Jason offers once the peace has been restored between the three of us "It's on the house"
"Surprise me" I ask with a challenging smile
Jas disappears behind the bar as Drew and I reminisce about the old days. He fills me in about Derek's life during the past 4 years, giving me mixed feelings about the whole situation. I was never close to Derek to be a good judge of his character seeing as Drew kept his family as far away from us as possible. Drew was a constant presence at my parents' house, coming for lunch when we had classes in the afternoon and even staying over when we had to study till late but I never once stepped foot in his house. He never invited me there and the one time I showed up unannounced - after Drew lost two days of class and wouldn't answer his phone - he specifically told me to never come back.
I remember knocking at the door and a poorly looking man answered. He didn't try to be nice as he bluntly asked "What the hell do you want?". The house behind him was trashed, dirty and desorganized, and I remember feeling sorry that my friend had to live in a place like this.
"I-I'm here to see Drew" I remember stuttering, slightly scared of the man in front of me
"Well, well, well. I didn't know Drew had a girlfriend, especially one as posh as you" I crossed my arms over my chest as an attempt to shield myself from his bizarre gaze
"I-I'm just a friend" I choked out, looking at the street behind me and wondering why I didn't ask Alec to come with me
"The kid is not as stupid as I thought" The man laughed and it only scared even more "Come inside"
To this day I still wonder what would've happened if I had actually entered the house with Drew's father.
"Gia!" I hear my friends voice, yelling at me from down the street "Get away!"
Drew ran towards the house, an evident look of desperation written all over his face. I took two steps back, looking at the older man in front of me in shock. I was scared of him but never imagined Drew would be too.
"What are you doing here?" Drew asked, yanking my arm and pulling me away from his house
"I was worried..." I blurted out "You weren't answering your phone and you didn't show up"
I remember Drew was still gasping for air, as if he had ran a marathon. We took a seat on the sidewalk curb down the street and as further away from where he lived that we couldn't even see his house anymore.
"Thanks for worrying" He gave me a small but genuine smile "But you can not come here. Ever. I'm serious, Gia"
I simply nodded, wondering if I should ask further questions.
"Even if I text you to meet me at my house, don't come. I mean it" His tone was serious as I'd never seen Drew before
He was always full of joy, a little ball of sunshine. Cracking jokes and having a good time on his own way.
"Okay. I won't" I agreed "Do you want to talk about it?"
There was a moment of silence before he spoke again.
"We can just sit here in silence"
My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing with an Unknown number calling. I decline it, immediately regretting doing so since I am helping Clark organize the fundraising dinner and it could be one of the providers for the event calling. It doesn't take longer until the Unknown number starts blowing up my phone with texts.
From Unknown:
Are you sure you can trust your boyfriend?
I wouldn't be too certain
Ask Calum who is Stephanie Dmitriev
Make sure he doesn't lie to you again
"Who is it?" Drew asks in the seat directly in front of me
I lift my eyes from these very weird and suspicious messages to face him. I'm lost for words. I receive rude comments almost on a daily basis and even some unpolite DM's, always reminding me how ugly I am and how Calum deserves someone better than me. But never like this. Never disregarding Calum's loyalty or fidelity. I feel sick just thinking about it. Jason arrives just in time with all of our drinks and a smile that disappears immediately after he looks at me.
"What happened?" He asks "You look green"
"I don't have the number" I mutter, feeling my chest tighten "But it says that Calum is lying to me"
I watch Drew and Jason exchange a surprised look before Jas takes the device off my hands to read over the texts.
"Who is Stephanie Dmitriev?" He asks but I'm just as clueless
My mind is running 200 miles/hour while Drew types something on his phone.
Who is texting me?
And what does this person know that I don't?
"She's a Russian model" He tells me "Does Calum know her?"
Drew hands me his phone to look at the pictures Google has selected of the girl. She is stunning, no wonder she's a model. Her body is sculpted to perfection while her face reminds me of an angel. Her blonde hair shinning in every single picture of her and her teeth so white it could blind me.
"She's gorgeous" I blurt out, feeling completely defeated
I don't know what happened but only the thought of Calum ever seeing this girl makes me insecure.
"Well, you can find beauty everywhere, it's the heart that counts" Jason tries to comfort me but I doubt even he believes his own words "Plus, you don't know what happened. It could be just another one of Calum's crazy fans trying to sabotage your relationship"
I nod, praying to God that Jason is right. I can't seem to swallow down the lump in my throat and even thought I try to convince myself that everything is alright, my eyes are tearing.
Could someone be so mean that they would tell me this only to sabotage my relationship?
"Georgia, I'm not gonna let you do this" Drew says, his voice stern "Stop thinking shit and talk to Calum first. Don't let any 14 year old trick you into believing this nonsense"
But what if this person is telling me the truth?
"I will talk to him" I choke out, feeling suddenly out of air "It can't be true"
Right?
Please God, don't let it be true.
A/N
The moment all of you have been waiting for has arrived *drum rolling*
I googled the Russian surname and it said that Dmitriev comes from "devoted" which I think fits perfectly to the person in question. If there are any Russians reading the book, let me know if I spelled it right or what does it mean 😂 😂
Are you excited for the drama??? Cause I'm scared
Please leave comments and let me know what you think!
Thanks for all the support, I love youuuu 💕