The intricate patterns of ice floated weightlessly downwards from the pure, white sky above, each flake swirling and dancing, as an icy wind carries it over the coated forest and into the palm of my extended hand.
Tall trees surround the fields, catching the snowflakes too, with their spread out branches, and the giddy currents of the wind flow through woodland canopies, unaware of how the song it whistles, soothes my heart. The breeze is free, chaotic even, yet it too has its path, even if there are infinite possible destinations to where it could follow, like all things in this Universe do.
Breath pale against the numbing air and turning into a cold mist against the snowy falls, I blinked thoughtfully as the frost patiently kissed my face. Captivated by the soft, dusty illusions of light that peaks through the clouds and then sit heavy on my eyelashes, I smile softly to myself.
They say we all must follow our destiny for it gave us a purpose to fulfil and to embrace it with open arms and welcoming. But to just follow what the Universe has given to you, is only cruel to such destiny, for destiny is like a tree with so many branches that point in different paths and futures.
The past is always gone, and each day is something new, a stepping stone into a future that we should dream of even in the cold and darkness. I used to hate the blinding white, for it would remind me of the bland walls of a place I once lived in, but now as I look onwards at the snow covered planet, these wintry days of bluster and ice, only bring me a certain calm that could resemble the tranquility which someone once brought to my hollow soul.
I see the land of yesterday, covered as white as any new page and some part of me wants to arm myself with paint and set the bleak land right in the freedom of colour it deserves. Yet, I never do, for I can simply walk in it and create a few footprints of my own that may dawdle with freedom in this new path.
I watch them tumble, those feathered crystals in their chaotic flight to form a blanket that could not be more uniform, more orderly. Yet for some, their destination is to come to my hand, to alight upon these ungloved fingers and let my warmth be their ending that they chose themselves, for that is the conclusion they truely deserve.
My conclusion was long awaited and unfair in some ways for the ones I loved never made it out alive, but two of the youngest did and they live happily somewhere far away from prying hands as do I.
The thick blanket of snow hugged the wooden house behind me like a second skin. The wood of the home, insubstantial against the chaotic onslaught of white. Glancing over to the porch, icicles hang low from the roof that creaks in the wind.
There is hope in the foundations of this new home, and I once thought that all hope was lost. But it's never lost, for it is like a galaxy of dying stars, once one gleam diminishes, only another burns brighter.
A new hope is the brightest star in a hopelessly, dark Universe, I know this truely now. My hope is drawn to me, who now sees beyond the once defeat, beyond the moment of being cast down and beyond the memory of the hopeless voices, for my own voice reminds me that there is always a calling from the brightest stars above, telling me to look beyond the darkness and to the bright light of hope.
Sometimes when I cast an eye to them, I wonder if he sees them too. I imagine us both staring longingly at the same glimmer as if it is reminding us of how bright and burning our love truely was.
With every day that passes, I miss him even more. And with time, comes patience and so does the thankful gratitude, for he had saved my life in the most torturous way, but pain always fades and though it may leave a gentle reminder in the form of silver scars, the ruined flesh only bring a swell in my heart for it was the pain that gave me freedom all along – And he had shown me so much more than just pain. He showed me warmth in a cold soul, kindness, care and love.
Through the light years of distance, I can still feel that love and it promises that my cruel destiny was always worth the pain and darkness. I was once told that love is incredibly powerful purely because it is unattainable, but destiny is always true and unstoppable – But that was so mistaken in its rationality for love is so many things but I must admit it does intertwine with destiny beautifully.
So much time has flown by since those days where I was shown the light in a dark life, and so much has changed. I found a true path and I found a home, but that doesn't mean I will forget the past in the bindings of a future. I will always remember.
I even gave myself a new name, but I will always be his, Six.
My biggest fear used to be living without him, for he used to be the only reason I wanted to live and the only reason I wanted to revive the man he had killed and buried in his soul. But as a gentle voice calls for my new name, my hope is drawn to the small child, who sees beyond my scars and past, for he is truely the only thing I live and breathe for now.
He is my reminder of the man I once loved.
He is Ben Solo.