During the delicate hour where all the day workers on The Supremacy, clock off their long shifts and retire for the night in their small quarters, the ship goes silent and eerie as the halls become empty, other than the casual, patrolling StormTrooper.
In my brutal heartache, I hadn't known just how much time had truely passed since kneeling in front of the ruthless ruler as he tore my love to shreds right before my eyes – But as my quick footsteps patter along the tiles, they are lonesome in their marks, proving to me that it must of been hours ago.
Although, there is no real sunlight onboard, all the bright airiness of the day fades even in the artificial illuminance, as the darkness falls over it like a velvet blanket and all that's left is the lower hue of the bulbs, barely noticeable to the casual eye, but a tiny detail that surprised me, for Finalizer's intense lights never dwelled.
And yet still, the lights above still beam across the polished floor, reflecting in some of the glass windows that reminded me there was still a flicker of hope to get out of here in the translucent panes.
Each step that I take and every turn I make, causes my breathing to become more rapid and shallow. I can feel my pulse pounding in my temples. There is a dread in my hope, a fear that is nibbling its gradual way into my core. Everything hinges on what I do, and once done, it can never be undone.
Both devices are heavy beneath my sleeve and the decoder paper is starting to thinly cut the skin of my wrist beneath my cast. My mind is racing but I can only focus clearly on one thought that circles it: I have to get us out of here.
Tonight and the actions that follows my choices, could be my change in destiny; It could also be the difference between walking into freedom or towards a shallow grave that nobody would ever visit. My hands clench around my sides and I walk stiffly by a swarm of StormTroopers who jog by with their blasters tight in their armoured hands.
I must look gaunt and agitated, but they don't question me – Which leads me to believe that there is something bigger going on right now, other than the war that ravages inside my chest.
I've been so lost in constructing scenarios in my own head, that I'm surprised to see how far I've come, when I reach the final conjunction before the Escape Bay which is to the left.
It's a relief to finally turn the corner, because between the nerves and my legs shaking, I'm afraid I'll trip if the destination is any further.
There's not even a breeze to disrupt my fearful footing but the slightest breath of movement momentarily blocks the light from another conjunction that is at the other end of the hall. A swirling mess of black with soft, blurred edges, whirl around the corner just as I do, a quick slither of movement that's seen just by the peripherals of my vision – I immediately jump back from where I had come from when I recognised the black soldier among the huddle of white StormTroopers.
Kylo.
I throw myself back around the corner and scan for somewhere to conceal myself, but unless I sprint down the hall and give my presence away purely by the sound of my heavy footing, there is nowhere to hide.
I stop around the corner, my body shifting and pressing my back against the wall that meets them, where it would have been a decent spot to conceal myself if I knew for certain they weren't walking this way or for the virescent hue cast by the lights above. I close my eyes, focusing on the heavy pulse in my veins. It was like ripples through my terrified system, vibrating under my feet, up through my bones and resting as a dull rumbling in my chest.
The approaching footsteps clipped down the bleached, tile hallway, out of sync as there was so many coming onwards. Each footfall is chaotically spaced from the last, sounding overly loud in my own ears, like the booming heartbeat of a condemned prisoner, only if I get caught – But possibly the most unnervingly, worrying thing about it was: The magnetic field that pulled me always to Kylo, was calling for me and for the first time in forever, I prayed it wasn't summoning for him also in this very moment.
When the footsteps are only a few paces away, my hands tremble and my eyes water even as I clench them tightly shut. My body feels hot and sweat starts trickling down my neck, and just when I think all those swarms of footing are about to turn my way, they only keep their pace straight forward. I open my eyes and hold my breath, Kylo is much taller than all the StormTroopers, so much so, that I can still see the back of his head as he passes, barking orders to the soldiers and focusing their attention away, as he didn't look down the hall to find me hiding in plain sight.
"The scavenger is coming, I can sense it." He nods to them with a demanding tone, behind the electronic muffle of his mask. "Be prepared to apprehend her upon arrival."
The lightsaber on his belt glimmers in the light as he passes in slow motion, soon turning into his heavily cloaked back and in its black materials, I can almost see the darkness he possesses, hiding in the shadows of him like a coattail.
The handful of StormTroopers follow him like ducklings, their blasters held close to their armoured chests, rather willing to shoot themselves than the man who leads them.
When they finally turn another corner, far off in the distance, is when I let out a deep breath that I didn't know I was holding, swiping the droplets of sweat off my forehead and returning back on track to the Escape Bay, which is now just in sight.
But like everything else in my life, surprise floods my calming veins once more just as I am about to put my palm on the scanner – Knowing full well that it will deny my entrance, but that doesn't matter, for a man opens the hatch from the other-side, flinching slightly at my stance before him and then narrowing his eyes.
"What are you doing here, servant?" He barks.
My heart sank. I was hoping the man from all the previous times I had entered would be working, for he had let me in alone because he knew I was tied to Kylo Ren. I wanted to enter with as much stealth as possible, but now my only option was to try and trick this grumpy man to let me in – And the disgruntled look on his face told me it wasn't going to be easy.
It wasn't his size that bothered my nerves, his strong build and stocky length, but how heavily armed he was. Two blasters on his round hips and even the lump beneath the material around his ankle, signifying another one was hidden just in case. I gulped. They were almost as threatening as Kylo's lightsaber when it was pressed to my neck... Upon that thought, I spat out the first excuse I could think of.
"Kylo Ren requests your presence."
His mouth remains an uncharacteristic grim line amid his stubble, only cocking his head to the side and furrowing his thick brows at my words, "Kylo Ren? Why would he need me?"
A breath gets caught in my throat and I suddenly wish I was wearing my headscarf for my ears are burning bright red. Clenching my hands into tight fists, it seems everyone I had known, had already called me a liar today – So I only continued to conjure up what I must do best.
"Someone's arriving on board." I recall Kylo's previous words, using their secrecy to my advantage, "He wants you to help him read when they are near."
I don't even know what this mans job is, but it didn't even seem to matter to him, purely because when Kylo Ren orders you to do something, you appear to his request. My hair is sticking to the back of my neck as his eyes wander over my features and my heart thuds in my burning ears.
"Well, why didn't I get the order before I just started my shift here?" He asks.
"I don't know, Sir." I shrug my shoulders and glance away from his heavy stare, "I'm just a servant who was ordered to tell you. They said to be quick though, Kylo Ren doesn't have much patience." I point my hand in the direction I just saw him walk, "He went down that way though."
All the lies slipped off my tongue and into the air, smooth and easy like cool water running off fragile, soft skin.
His shoulders suddenly straighten and he nods only once, patting his hands on his blasters by his sides, to check if they are still there and then trodding off down the hall. I slip into the Escape Bay – That was too easy.
I walked into the empty, darkened bay, the vaulted ceiling gaping like an empty void overhead and the silvery slants of starlight, piercing through the window that beamed all around the endless tables with beeping monitors and the occasional, left over lunch that began to harden overnight.
Casting an eerie look around the silent room, I gave it no more than a sidewards glance as I slipped past with nothing more than a whisper of bravery and the slight scuff of my soft, soled boots on the stairs as I tip-toed down to the metal motor-box that was dead-bolted into the wall beside all the closed Escape Pods.
Inhaling a large breath, I swallowed down my nerves and pried my hands into the lid of the box, pulling away the door with a loud scratch of metal, to be met with the jumble of wires and ports that flickered and twined in the defence detector.
My shoulders sag slightly, but I still pull out the data drive from beneath my sleeve, aiming it around all the ports and trying to figure out where it must belong.
I grip it tightly and twist it in every angle. My palm is sweaty around the device and with every move I make, I get more and more terrified and nervous. My breath quickens as I hear creaking from somewhere in the room. I gasp and turn my head in every direction, searching for movement but suddenly, everything is silent and beyond the starlight, there is just darkness and beeping lights from the monitors. Once I see that there's nothing, my tense body relaxes. This is what facing your fears must feel like.
Turning my body back to the defence detector, I poke out my tongue and just decide to try and shove the drive into every port until it fits. The metal refuses almost every port and there's only a couple of them left. I'm beginning to panic and all I can hear is my rapid breathing and all I can feel is the heat form on my cheeks as tears form in my eyes from frustration.
Just when the metal drive glides right into the port with a satisfying, 'click', a voice from the side causes my knees to go weak and my stomach to lunge into my throat. Alarm floods my system and it pumps and beats in my veins like it's trying to escape as much as I am. I think my heart will explode and my eyes are wide with fear. I can taste saliva thickening in my throat, but I can't swallow any of it down and beads of sweat begin to trickle down my brow. At some point I'll have to move and face the muffled voice to the side, but I only freeze until the owner of the interruption, speaks once more.
"Six?" She asks, "What are you doing?"
Three.
I slide the drive back out and turn.
Her cheeks are stained with tears and her eyes are as red as my fearful blood is.
She eyes me with concern and then glances over to the metal box behind me, which I try to hide with my shaking frame. An Escape Pod is open behind her and I suddenly realise she had come here to look at the steady stars as the emotions within her were anything but steady.
When her eyes soften as if she has too, been hit with realisation, the inky darkness engulfs the frail light that beacons my senses, diminishing all hope and bliss that had risen with the bravery I had formed. Now only silence lingers in the air. I shiver in the claustrophobic space that she narrows with her green eyes and wait for the clipping winds of her harsh words.
"Are you trying to escape?" She breathes, hands clenching by her sides, glancing between me and the device in my hand.
A small, sigh of anxiety leaps out of my mouth. Tersely, my eyes flicker to her blonde hair that used to be golden in the constant warmth of excitement and exhilaration which she would give to me, but now that seemed to wither with age as her face turned red in anger.
"You are!" She seethes, "How dare you!"
A breath hitches in my throat and my walls come crumbling down to her grinding feet. I shake my head and my chin wobbles, but that's just another lie added to my mountain of deceits.
"I can get us out of here, Three." I sobbed, taking quick steps over to her and holding her forearms in my hands, peering down to look into her eyes with a pleading stare, "I can save us."
Three tears my grip away and looks to me offended, her chin drawing into a scowl as she shakes her head and knits her eyebrows close together. "Oh, yeah?" She spits with sarcasm lacing her tone, "And how do you plan on doing that?"
Flinching my hands that she shoved off her flesh, to my chest, the tears spill down my cheeks, cooling the burning skin, but slicing it as they fall.
My answer is hesitant to come truthfully, but this explanation was bound to come if I wished for her to come with me also – I just never thought about how she would receive the truth.
I swallow slowly, but now my mouth is only dry.
"The Resistance." I speak lowly, as if I am still unwilling to tell her, "They are going to help me get us out of here."
Her face falls and her mouth becomes agape. Her green, watery eyes enlarged as the hairs on the nape of her neck bristled and prickles laminate her frigid skin. Her head shook side to side almost too slight to notice, part tremble and part deliberate. Then all at once her lip buckled upwards and tears began to drip as she whispered her words in disbelief,
"The Supreme Leader was right." She said, backing away from me and looking distantly into my eyes, "You're a spy for The Resistance... A traitor."
I stand shocked as I stare blankly at her with wide, apprehensive eyes. Trying to follow her backing feet, she only creates more distance as I try and close it. She halts against the Escape Pod she had come from, her back hitting the side of the hatch forcefully.
"Three – No, I'm not." I plead, shoving the device back into my sleeve as I intertwine my hands in a begging motion, "I'm just trying to save–"
"Four died for nothing!" She screams and I flinch away suddenly. "I defended you from The Supreme Leader's wrath, only for the death of Four to still follow! His death was on my hands and yet all along, it was your's who was coated in his blood... You traitor!"
The look in my eyes is a flashing beacon that shows I am hurt but all I do is stand petrified under her gaze with my lips quivering. As my breathing hastens, the intense rhythm of my heartbeat undergoes an irregular count, hammering quicker than a lightning bolt as she sobs in front of me.
"I'm sorry." I try to say, but the muscles around my cheeks ache and twitch downwards and all that escapes my throat is a croaky cry.
She huffs and looks at me like I am the most disgusting thing she has ever seen.
"No you're not!" She screams, "How could you do this?"
"I'm–" She cuts me off once more.
"You got what you wanted! You lied and took Five, even after you said you didn't love him and even though you knew I did!" Three spits, beginning to push herself off the hatch and stride over to me in hesitant steps, I cower in her gaze. "And now that you have him, you want to leave?"
"I don't love Five." I whisper but she only shakes her head. She's not listening.
"– I bet I wasn't even included in your plan to flee with the enemy, I bet you wanted me to die just as Four did – For you know I am not fulfilling my destiny and you're taking that as a chance to steal Five completely and have him all to yourself." She breathes close to my face, her eyes twitching and heart breaking.
My chest was caving in and I was a trembling mess, only capable of shaking my head as my whole system was shutting down. This isn't what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to leave with me and be safe forever-more.
Everything that has happened, has only made my plan into a jumbled mess of twigs and branches and I was in the centre of all of its twining thorns. Snoke had tried to kill my rose garden that I had attempted to gate away from his flower cutters, but instead of being the man who couldn't climb my fence, he turned out to be the snake who had slithered into my garden and chewed at my roses until they died themselves.
This was his doing – And he had done so in a slow build up that was ignorant to the colossal build up and crash down that would fall upon me and my garden of destiny and hope.
I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out. Sharp pain shot into my already tortured heart and colourful spots flashed in front of my eyes as the emotional trauma made me want to faint and give up, it felt like my whole body had been beaten and every word she spat, caused another muscle or bone to ache.
My voice comes weak and broken, "This place isn't kind to us, Three – We need to leave before we are brought into its cruelty even further."
"Cruelty?" She chuckled sinisterly, "This is all I have ever known – The First Order were the ones who raised me, they gave me a purpose to fulfil and it is only my fault that I am not doing so, but I will continue trying because I am loyal to my Empire."
I bit onto the torn flesh of my cheek harshly: What was going on? Am I the only person who can see just how evil The First Order is? I don't want to live in a place that fuels a war, let alone a Universe that has a battle happening within it. For one nation to control another for their own selfish purpose, through war or intellectual domination, is a form of barbarism... And that is exactly what The First Order had done to us, morphing and twisting the minds of Project Destiny until we believed to put our trust in their hands.
But, I knew the truth of their own lies, the moment Kylo showed me what they had done to get me in their hands – Killing my parents and kidnapping me without remorse or a hint of sympathy.
I swallow forcefully and stand my ground,
"Three. This isn't your home. This isn't your family." I shake my head, "The Resistance – You have a blood sister among them, her name is Arion and she has searched her whole life to find you... Because she was the one who was suppose to raise you with your parents instead of The First Order, instead of Commander September!"
Her face softens, but she narrows it back once more. I cut her off like she had done so to me earlier.
"The First Order kidnapped you and they gave you a number for a name. Three, your true name is Erato and you have a family waiting for you with The Resistance – Come with me and you will see them again."
When the silence returns to the dense, little space between us, it gnaws at my insides as Three stares through me rather than at me. This silence was poisonous in its nothingness, cruelly underscoring and ripping through my skin to my clenching heart.
But then, to my demise, Three's face twisted and darkened, just a tone lighter than my own crimson.
"You were my sister." She retorted, as if she had shoved her hand into my chest and tore out what was left of my heart, "And you betrayed me."
I broke immediately and wept, shaking my head to the ground and then staring back up at her with tears streaming from my face and dropping to my wearing-away boots. Just when I am trying to form the words to speak through cracking lips and trembling tones, the sound of the hatch opening eerily and footsteps entering, halt my senses and all ability to articulate anything other than the anxiety that grows as my eyes widen to the dark, top floor.
"She must have come in here!" A voice grumbled as they entered.
Squinting my eyes above, there was a hooded person in the shadows and I recognised the silver lines that reflected the green of the monitors, in a brutal heartbeat. Oh, no.
As the light drains away, there is barely enough for even the shadows in my soul. Whether I like it or not the darkness comes and tries to grab a hold of the hope I also clung to. I'm in a tug-of-war with my bravery as it is being stretched thin when Kylo saunters down the stairs, his mask not giving me anything to distinguish as I wince and backtrack behind Three's frame.
The worker I had sent to go find Kylo stays on the upper level, smirking when he catches sight of me below.
Even the stars and galaxy cower behind a dense layer of distress, and the artificial air was laced with that tincture I associate with the feeling of violent trepidation. My ears become sharper and my mind paranoid, every thud of his boots among the steps is a countdown to my treacherous betrayal that will be discovered.
For the most part I just freeze, running will give my disloyalty away and I'm not much of a fighter. All I can do is wait while the blackness comes and pray that the light is still within.
His synthesised voice, vibrates in my brittle bones and when I clench my eyes shut for a split second, I get flashes of him threatening me earlier today.
"What are you doing here?" He deadpanned to me, who flinched behind Three.
My eyes were silently begging for remorse from the masked man, pleading for him to remember our love before I tell him the whole-hearted truth – But Three interjects before Kylo even has a second to recall the warmth we once, both cradled.
Three glances to me, the green fixating on every inch of my face and then turning back to Kylo slowly. She gulps before speaking whilst she dug her fingernails deep into her palms – A trait she had picked off of me.
"She's trying to escape." She said lowly as she dropped her sight from the mask and then to the floor in dismay, "She's a Resistance spy."
My brain jumps and rings the alarms for this has to be the most fearsome thing it could endure and my body prepares for the conclusion, for there is no saviour in that black mask anymore. My mouth opened in a crisp inhale that shuddered its way down my throat, and sweat dripped down my back as my skin became pale.
Though, he seemed to be making an effort to hide his swirling emotions, his head shook side to side, as there was so much tension in him it had to be released, like kettle letting out steam. He clenched his fists tightly and his stance became rigid as he stared through the thick mask.
His shoulders were falling and rising harshly as he sucked angry breathes inwards.
He snapped all at once and quickly, lunging over and pointing a finger to Three on the way.
"Get out." He spat at her and she widened her eyes, not needing to be told twice as she ran up the stairs, pulling the hem of her dress up and glancing only once to me with a distant look that I couldn't place among the anger, as the worker then lead himself and her out too.
When the big, leather hands took a hold of my shoulders, I sunk into the familiar touch – Only for the grip to tighten and throw me against the wall suddenly. I tried to scream, but the inside of my mouth lacked any moisture and when my back hit the panelling, all the breath in my lungs became soot.
A sudden gush of pain jolted throughout my whole body and I could feel the indentation of my spine, bruise the upper skin of my back. My arms lost tension and my legs began to weaken as I tried to stand, but I only fell back onto my knees.
Kylo took off his mask and threw it to the ground by my feet, kneeling down and grabbing my face in his hands, shaking it slightly in his furious hold.
"You were working for The Resistance?" He said calmly and I think I am beginning to get whiplash from jumping emotion to emotion.
I whimper in his face and little tears pool into his palms along my cheeks, "I don't want to be here anymore... I'm scared."
My tongue was soaked in the taste of blood. Bruised and winded, I didn't have the strength to cry tears but the winds clipped me tightly as they fell with such force. Kylo's eyes were locked still, fixed right back on me, though his head kept moving and his teeth sank more deeply into his lower lip, almost drawing as much blood that was in my mouth.
"Why would you leave?" He said and suddenly, his thumb was brushing my cheek.
My face closed in a grimace, skin pale and clammy as I was in so much pain, physically and emotionally. All together, it had a raw quality and I began to dissociate in the midst of familiar, brown eyes; Sucking myself into a deeper place to cope.
I can't believe I even had the hope to try and escape – I can't believe that I truely believed my plan would work and that I could live forever-more peacefully, away from a brutal game of war – But instead, I was a key chest-piece.
In this time, the pain of separation acts as a focusing lens. The thought of being deprived from his love, bringing a sense purity to my own that was of fragile glass, needing to be shattered in his hold only to wish to be put back together in my transparency.
"Because, I love you." I croaked.
There's a great deal of emotion behind the twitching lips before me and the hurting browns. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows the emotion that rises in his throat and I can sense he is thinking so deeply as he is thrown into a clash.
I may have been the clear glass – But he was a kaleidoscope of colours blending together into one. It's gravity so powerful of an unstoppable force that always drew me into its disarray of hues.
I had lied about a lot of things, but what I had just said, was the truth – He knows this now.
He shakes his head, but only in a state of sudden dejection.
"That makes no sense, Six." I can feel the tension and hear the intensity in his tone, "If you loved me, then why would you try and leave?"
My chin wobbles against his finger-tips and I try to reach for his own face, the device slipping down to the crevasse of my elbow as I reached out.
"Because you were meant to come with me." I whispered, ignoring the fog that began to cloud around my peripherals, "And, you still can."
Just like those clouds that fogged my vision and ears, his insides were in a chaos of misty longing. A mess. Something was bothering him. Something was hurting him. Something ached inside him. Something felt so wrong, so invalid but I couldn't tell what and I tried to pin point the cause for this unexplained pain but failed in my frail state of mind.
Just as my finger-tips were about to brush the scar upon his face, he takes away his touch from my face and draws my own hand away, folding it softly into my lap. He sighed,
"It's too late, Six."
Slow and deliberate, Kylo stood and looked down to me, ignoring the tug in his heart that reached out to me below.
When the StormTroopers came piling in, he didn't stop them, only side-stepping out of their way and watching as they lifted me by a tight hold of my forearms, pulling my limp frame up the stairs and down the hall.
Before I blacked out completely, giving into the fog that formed, the darkness was enlightened by the fire that his heart burned into my senses as he watched me be taken away.