Character: Gillen Beilschmidt / 2p Prussia
Song: You Are My Sunshine - Johnny Cash
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
** Requested by @Piper_the_sad_bean
~The other night dear, as I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken
So I hung my head and I cried~
~*~
"Baby~" a soft voice cooed as arms wrapped around Gillen's shoulders. A head was placed on his, and he smiled.
"Hello, (yn), leibe." He signs to the you as you hug him from behind.
He tilts his head to look up at you, and pressed a soft kiss to your jaw.
You giggled at the tickling kiss, and he pulls you around to sit in his lap as he presses more kisses to your face.
You held his shoulder and laughed as he gently held onto your waist.
"Gillen!" You laugh pushing him away gently as he smiles, and laughs silently, "That tickles!"
"I love you" he signs with one hand while he keeps the other wrapped around you.
You smile and place a lingering kiss on his lips, holding his face. When you lean away your smile fades, and with it so do you.
~*~
Gillen jerked awake. His blue eyes fluttered open and he stared at the ceiling blankly. Before throwing his not metal arm over his face.
The dream had felt so real. But something him his told him it wasn't so.
He lets his arm fall to the place next to him, in hopes a warm body would be resting there. When his arm met with cold sheets he pushed himself up to look at the untouched sheets and pillow next to him.
That's when he realized his dream had been just that. A dream.
He sat up, and let his bare feet touch the cold floor. He shivered a little but brushed it off. He ran his good hand through his tangled silver hair, and sighed.
He remembered now. You had left him a little while ago. He wasn't quite sure why, but you had.
He held his face as he remembered how he had silently begged you not to leave. He wasn't able to talk, but he had signed and tried writting it down for you.
"No, Gillen," you had said coldly with tears in your eyes, "I-I can't do this anymore, I am so sorry."
He had tried to sign, but his hands kept shaking too much to do anything. You had taken his hands and held them tightly in yours.
His body had began to shake as he cried. He didn't know why you left. He didn't know if it was because of him, or if you had something bad happen.
All he knew was it hurt.
It hurt so much.
He held a tight grip on his bangs as he cried. His sobs were quiet, but his pain was visible. His tears fell to the floor making a puddle.
He missed you, and it was obvious.
~You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away~
Gillen wiped away his never ending stream of tears. A knock came to the door, and he rapped gently on the wall next to his bed as an okay to come in.
As his door creaked open light form the hallway leaked into the dark room. Gillen n had his back facing the door but he knew who it was.
"Bruder," his younger brother asks quietly, "Are you okay?"
Gillen wipes his face again, and smiles over his shoulder. He squeezed his hands together to stop their shaking. He nods curtly.
"It's (yn) again, isn't it?" The younger one asks.
Gillen doesn't respond. He turns away again and wipes the new tears that fall from his eyes.
He hears a sad sigh and moments later feels the bed sink next to him.
"I know it hurts," the blonde says, "but it will get better."
Gillen wipes his eyes and tried to sign for his brother, but his robotic hand jerks, and twitched from his raises nerves. He gives up and fishes a small note book and pen from under his bed.
"I miss (yn). I miss her/him so much it physically hurts." He writes and shows it to his brother, who reads it silently.
"You really love her/him, didn't you?"
Gillen nods, and writes more, "S/he made me so happy. Happy like I haven't been in a long time. I miss her/him so much, Sigifreid."
The end was messy, and the ink was smeared with the tears that had started falling again.
Sigifreid placed an arm around his brother and held him as he cried.
~I'll always love you and make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me and love another
You'll regret it all some day~
It was anew day, or the same day just with the sun up. Gillen had decided to go shopping today. Food for the house, and feed for his chickens, and beer for his brother.
As he was pushing his shopping cart down the produce isle stopping to look at the cabbages. He picked up the one he seemed best, and placed it with his other stuff.
Before he could move on he stopped dead in his tracks as a voice sounded from the beginning on the isle.
"Gillen?"
He looked over to see you standing there. Your hair was tied/pinned back from your face. You were glowing, not litterally, but you looked healthy and happy.
It made Gillen's heart ache, yet he still smiled and waved.
You smiled, and walked to him quickly, "It's been so long! How have you been?"
He turned to you and signed quickly, forcing his nerves to stay calm.
"I've been good. What about you?"
"I've been okay." You smile and hold your shopping basket under your arm, "How's Sigifreid? I haven't heard from I'm either."
"He's fine. About to go out of town for a business trip."
"That's nice." You shuffle a bit, and he takes notice of the stuff in your basket.
"Is someone having a birthday?" He signs tilting his head in curiosity.
You hum and then realize, "Oh! Yea, a friend of mine. I wanted to surprise them, ya know?"
He noticed the blush on your face, and the akward shuffle you did with a smile on your lips.
He knew that look.
It was jus a friend. It was someone you liked.
"That's wonderful!" He signs with a fake smile, "I have to get going but tell them I said happy birthday."
"Will do," you chuckle, "It was really nice seeing you again."
He nods with a smile as you turn and walk away, he walks away too, feeling tears return to his eyes as the pain of realizing you were moving on setting in.
He wiped his eyes, and cussed silently. He left his shopping cart in the isle and left the store completely.
'I'll have Sigifreid go out later.' he thinks to himself. As he gets into his car, and cries.
~You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away~
Gillen wiped away the tears as he sat in his car, that was now parked in his driveway. He took a very breaths to calm himself before he got out, and walked into the house.
He was greeted by a loud greeting from his brother, "Welcome home, Gil."
Gillen waved.
"Are the groceries out in the car?" Sigifreid asks when he notices the lacking food.
Gillen shakes his head, and signs slowly, "The store was really crowded, and I got a little anxious."
Sigifreid nods, believing the lie, "We can go out later."
Gillen nods and goes out back to visit his abundant flock of birds. The chickens swarmed his feet. Each having various colors, sized and, squawks.
Gillen crouched down to pet the chickens with a smile.
He stood up after giving each bird their fair share of affection. The followed him through the back yard to the shed were he kept the feed. He tossed out feed, all the chickens now pecking at the scattered food.
He watched with a smile, happy that at least his pets liked him.
He felt a tugging at the end of his jeans and chirping corresponding with every tug.
He looked down, and saw a fuzzy yellow chick trying to fly up, but failing and landing on his pants.
He chuckled quietly, and picks the chick up softly, rubbing a finger on its head. The chick chirped happily, and leaned into his touch.
Gillen placed it on his shoulder, and it made it's self comfortable in the crook of his neck.
Gillen carried on with his normal yard work, collecting eggs from the coop, and feeding the dogs. Watering flowers, the small veggitable garden.
When he was finished up he went inside, and filled a glass with water to drink it.
The chick that was still resting on his shoulder chirped and pecked at Gillen's face making him give a silent giggle.
He tore a small price of bread of the loaf that sat on the counter, and let the little bird eat it as he sipped his water.
~You told me once, dear, you really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me and love another
You have shattered all of my dreams~
It had been a few days since you and Gillen had seen each other. He sat in the living room reading a book now, the little chick that had taken a liking to him sat on top of his head, using the messy, silver hair as a nest.
He had just turned the page when his phone rang. He pulled it from the pocket of his jeans and looked at the caller ID.
F. Vargas.
He answered it, and had to pull the device away from his ear as the loud Italian voice yelled. The chick on his head startled and he calmed it with a reassuring pet on the head.
"You will not believe what I just saw!" The loud voice says urgently, with a hit of sass.
Gillen sits in silence. He had gotten used to the random phone calls from his flamboyant friend, he'd known him for years, and had learned to expect the loud rant via phone call that was always one sided. Flavio knew he wouldn't get a response, so he just continues.
"You know my cousin right? Feliciano?" Flavio goes on, and Gillen listens as he reads his book, "Well he got himself a new girl/boyfriend, and you will never guess who it is."
Gillen goes still. His heart drops bearing for a second when the name leaves his friends lips.
"(Yn)"
He remembers the blush you had the other day, the awkward but cute shuffling you did.
He thought you found someone you were interested in, but he had still hoped he was wrong.
"I can't believe (yn) would do that? There's no way s/he should move on so fast! I even told Feli-"
He felt a sharp pain his his chest, and he hangs up the phone.
Gillen just let the phone fall to the couch next to him. He stared straight ahead at nothing in particular as he let the information sink in.
He hadn't ever registered the tears that had began to fall until his little bird had moved from his hair to his shoulder, pecking and rubbing against his wet cheek.
Gillen petted the fuzzy bird as it snuggled into him as and attempt to make him feel better.
~You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away~
Gillen saw you again today. He was walking his dogs when he heard your voice. He turned to look over in the direction it came from and his heart began to hurt.
You were smiling and talking to a brunette who was a little taller than you. The brunette male smiled down at you, his arm around your wait, and his hand placed on your hip.
You had an arm around him as well, and you leaned into him.
You looked so happy, smiling and blushing.
It made Gillen hurt so much.
He assumed the man was Feliciano, he had never met him in person, but if you were that close to him the surely it was. Not to mention he looked almost identical to Luciano, who Gillen knew well enough.
He watched as you and Feliciano walk down the sidewalk, and he had to fight the urge to get your attention. When he sees Feliciano place his lips on your cheek, Gillen turns away and continues to walk the dogs.
Even though it hurt him, he didn't let himself cry. He couldn't even if he wanted to anyhow, he had spent days crying, and he had nothing left to shed.
~In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me
When I awake my poor heart pains
So when you come back and make me happy
I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame~
It's was late in the night, leaking into the earlier morning hours when a knock fell on Gillen's front door. Gillen trudged downstairs still in his pajama pants and an old shirt.
He rubbed his eyes, and yawned. His long hair hung messily on his back since he hadn't bothered to put it up.
When he opens the door he blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
You were there, after nearly three months of not seeing you you were there in front of him.
Standing in a pair of sleeping shorts, and a tank top under a thin jacket. Worn flip flops on your feet, and your hair messy and unbrushed.
You cradled yourself and tears fell down your face, "Hi, Gil."
Gillen stared at you in shock, before signing finally, "(yn)? What are you doing here so late?"
You wiped your eyes on your jacket sleeve, "I-I needed a place to stay for the night, a-and I didn't know where else to go... Is it okay if I...?"
Gillen nodded quickly and stepped aside so you could enter the house mumbling a thank you.
Gillen led you to the couch, signing as you walked, "It's freezing outside, why aren't you wearing clothes? You could have gotten sick!"
You shrugged, as you sat down, "At the time it was the least of my worries."
Gillen rubbed your shoulders and instructed you to stay sitting. He went to the kitchen and put on some tea before going upstairs to grab warmer clothes and a blanket.
He hand the items to you, and you take them.
"It's not much, but they'll keep you warm, if you go change I'll get us some tea." He signs and you nod and take the familiar route to the bathroom.
Gillen does as promised and finishes the tea, bringing it out to the living room just in time for you to join him on the couch.
He blushed at seeing you in his clothes again. You had regularly borrowed his clothes, but it's been so long since he had seen you in them. Almost a year and a half.
His sweatpants hanging off your hips, and your form being consumed by his oversized hoodies and shirts.
He handed you a steaming coffee cup of tea and you thanked him as you took a gracious sip.
Gillen let's you finish half your cup before asking questions.
"Why were you out so late? It's the middle of winter?"
You place your cup down on the coffee table. And situate yourself comfortably under the provided blanket.
"Well... I couldn't stand to be home." You say simply, "I found out that, Feli, Feliciano was cheating, and I got so frustrated I just left."
You wipe away the tears that had worked into your eyes, "Did you know he keeps a record book of people he's dated...? There's five more people after me in that book... While we were dating there was five others..."
Gillen looked at you sympathetically, and places a comforting hand on your shoulder. You leaned against his chest and he tensed.
He didn't expect you to do that, and it wasn't until he felt your body shaking that he out his arms around you. He rubbed your back, and ran his fingers through your hair as you cried into his shirt.
He couldn't verbally comfort you, but he knew just how to without words.
He blamed himself for this. He felt like he should have done something to help you. That he should have been able to protect you.
When you calmed down you stayed in his embrace.
"Gillen," you say softly, not expecting a response, " I'm so sorry for how I left... I'm sorry for everything."
He shook he head, and moved a hand where you could see him sign, "Don't apologise, you didn't do anything wrong."
He knew deep down it was a lie. He can still vividly remember all the nightmares he's had ever since that day, all the pain you caused him.
But the guilt of feeling partially responsible made him push all the other stuff away.
"I did," you say, "I left you without even telling you why... I was so cruel."
He places a gentle kiss on the top of your head to tell you it's okay. You begin to cry again and he continues to comfort you.
"I missed you so much, Gil," you cry, "I never thought I'd miss you this much."
Gillen's heart beat speeds up at your words and you feel it.
You push yourself away to look up at the pale man with a tear stained face. He looks at you with a confused look.
"You don't feel that way anymore do you?" You ask softly.
Gillen nods, and signs for you, "Of course I do, I always will."
You wipe your eyes, and smile, "I'm glad."
Gillen places his hands on either side of your face and kisses away the tears on your cheeks. You smile, and hold his face as well.
"Gillen, I want it start over with us." You tell him, "Can we?"
Gillen nods and pulls you into a tight hug.
"I promise I won't hurt you anymore, I'll never do it again..." You say into his shoulder.
Gillen just smiles, and holds you tighter.
~You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when skies are gray
You'll never know dear, how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away~
Gillen looked down at you as you slept next to him. He nearly forgot how much he loved seeing you like that. Sleeping peacefully, cuddling with his pillow as you huddled under the blanket.
You looked at peace.
He smiled, some tears coming to his eyes as he realized this wasn't another dream.
You were really here. In his bed. Sleeping peacefully by his side.
Hair spread out around you, and a little drool leaking from the corner of your mouth.
He wiped away the joyful tears as they rolled over his cheeks, before leaning down to kiss your cheek.
You smiled as you began to shuffle out of sleep. You opened your eyes just enough to see how Gillen smile as he signs to you.
"Good morning, Sunshine."