I ended up getting a really sore neck from sleeping in the games room all night. Didn't enjoy being woken by Chance early in the morning and being told I need to be at the police station in an hour.
Ugghh.
I thought I was going to have an awkward morning of Chance's company, but Aaron joined us last minute, despite it being a college day.
Not that I don't appreciate his company, but I hate to be the cause of him falling behind...
Chance and Aaron seemed to get on fine though, so I didn't have to worry about tension or arguments.
We were greeted by two women at the entrance before I left both Aaron and Chance waiting in the foyer.
I just really want to get this over with.
In a detective interview room yet again...
"We're going to ask you a few questions then head down to forensics if that's alright with you?" One of the women smiled and asked me politely.
"Uh..sure, forensics?"
"Just to record and take evidence of scar tissue and things like that."
"I see..." I crossed my arms uncomfortably as I sat opposite them.
"So this investigation is for two cases, we'll be adding the results to both files, with your consent."
"Sure, doesn't make a difference to me." I sighed.
"Alright, let's start with the basics." The smaller woman sighed as she read a large document. "Your name is Riley Piscarra, previously Marston and Stevens. Your mother is Clarisse Piscarra, previously...a lot but notably Marston and Aicher and has divorced 8 times, your father is Charlie Marston and is divorced twice. The accused is Matias Figuerro formerly Matias Marston, and Finn Aicher."
"Uh... yeah. Wait, Piscarra? That's what my name is written as?"
"Unofficially, yes, I understand that's a recent development. It will be pending for a while but will be Piscarra by the time the case goes to trial."
"She's divorced already?" My mouth dropped open and they gave each looks.
"She officially completed filing for a divorce this morning...you're unaware of your mother's marriage status? Are you not that close?"
"I don't understand, she talked to me yesterday about it but I didn't realise she was already done." I sighed. "It's that easy to get a divorce?"
"It'll be a few months before the divorce proceedings are complete, but they're legally separated now, yes. It's not really relevent to the case though is it?"
"Sorry...I often can't keep up with what my mother is up to...I don't get along well with her." I sighed, frowning as I watched the other woman writing things down.
"Okay... moving on. Please state your relationship with Matias Figuerro."
"Um, he used to be my stepfather. Married to my father for a while. Not sure when.. I think it was 2014? Whenever it became legal in England, I don't keep track."
"Are you not close with your father either?"
"No, we're practically strangers."
"Is there anyone you'd consider a parental figure?"
"I guess not..."
"Interesting...now please state your relationship with Finn Aicher."
"Used to be my stepbrother, on my mother's side."
"No other relation?"
"He wasn't my boyfriend if that's what you're trying to get me to say." I gave her a look.
"Not trying to get you to say anything, we're unbiased detectives not lawyers."
"Right..."
"Did you have a positive relationship with Mr Aicher before the related incidents?"
"No, it happened for the first time the day I met him."
"How long did you know Mr. Figuerro before the related incident?"
"A week or two, had never met him before, grew up in America."
"Do you consider yourself to be homosexual?"
"Uh, yeah." I made a face as she stared at me blankly.
Why did she need to ask that?
"Do you consider yourself to be open and obvious about your orientation?"
"Sure, relatively."
"Would you say you have an active sexuality?"
"Uh. Why is that relevent?"
"Please answer the question."
"Um, I guess."
"Do you often partake in sexual intercourse with varied partners or do you prefer long term relationships?"
What the.
"Um, I don't really do relationships."
"Would you consider your relationship with Finn Aicher or Matias Figuerro to be a sexual fling?"
"Um, no. Wait. What do you mean?"
"Do you think your behaviour before the related incidents could have been interpreted as flirtatious or sexually misleading in any way?"
"Um, NO."
"You were living in the Aicher residents for approximately 320 days, do you claim to have been assaulted on 320 different occasions and if not how many times would you estimate?"
"I didn't exactly fucking count did I? I don't know, 400 or something."
"Are you implying you knew Aicher for longer than 320 days? Did you go back to see him?"
"No I'm implying you can assault someone more than once a day!"
"Please refrain from shouting sir."
Really...
"How many sexual partners have you had since the incidents in San Francisco?"
"I don't know..."
"Is it a large number or were you often intoxicated?"
"No, I mean..." I sighed. "Around 20? I guess."
"May we contact any of them as witnesses?"
"What? Uh, no, why??"
"You may need someone as a witness to your character during the trial. If you do have anyone there will be a form you can fill in later."
Why would I need that.
"Have you partaken in sexual intercourse after the recent incident with Figuerro?"
"Yes I have. Is that really relevant?"
"So would you consider yourself emotionally unaffected by the incident?"
"I would consider myself very emotionally affected, just not sexually."
"Please define sexual consent."
"Verbally or physically asking someone if it's alright to partake in sexual behaviour and them saying or implying yes. I guess."
"Implying? What do you consider implying?"
"I don't know...not acting scared, seeming enthusiastic, kissing back that kind of thing."
"Do you think any of your actions could have implied consent during your incidents?"
"No. I did not give consent verbally or otherwise during all and every incident. There was no consensual kissing or physical intimacy of any kind that could have implied consent. And I made it very clear I was not enthusiastic about the ordeals. I recall saying the word no or things what were the opposite of consent on several occasions."
"Do you often struggle with consent?"
"Sure, it's complicated, sometimes I struggle to say no, due to emotional trauma from the incidents, I might add."
"Are there any other signs of trauma?"
"Well, I don't like to be held down, I'm scared of larger men. I fear saying no to people. I have plenty of scars, and nightmares. And the state of my face right now counts as trauma from the same person."
"Yes, the assault case has been charged and closed already, but the event is being taken into consideration."
"What? Consideration? You don't think someone who attempted to rip my eyes out is also capable of constant abuse and rape?"
"It's not what we think, it's what we conclude from the evidence."
"Right, so that's all it is, evidence." I sighed.
"We'll need you to sign off on these forms relinquishing evidence stored in St. Mary's hospital in SF. Please also disclose injuries acquired unrelated to the events on this form. Afterwards we'll head down to the lab and record all evidence of scarring if that's alright?"
"I can't remember every injury I've ever had."
"Well we don't want to hold someone accountable for scars they didn't cause so try your best."
"Yeah that would be tragic." I deadpanned while I read through the form.
"The significant amount of time that has passed will make the physical evidence less effective but if we can get the records from the hospital we may have a chance."
"So you don't believe that it happened?"
"I do believe, but I can't do anything without evidence."
Right...
"I'm done." I said and she smiled before turning off the recording.
"Great, any further discussion is off the record. Let's head out if you're ready."
The smaller lady stood up while the other was still silently writing things.
Not a talker huh...
I followed her out of the room, letting out a sigh.
Something tells me that's not the last time I'll be in there, I feel like they didn't ask much.
I think she decided to call it a day when she noticed me shaking.
Aaron approached us as we walked into the foyer.
"Are you done?" He asked me with a frown.
"We're not done yet, headed to the forensic lab." The woman answered.
"I see...what's your name?" Aaron stared at her with a strange look in his eye.
"Detective Attij sir."
"What's your badge number?"
"Um, 1846 sir."
"Interesting. He seems a bit upset. Hope you weren't too harsh on him?" He frowned and the lady blinked at him.
"Of course not." She smiled, seeming a bit put off.
"Is he still under observation or may I come with you for this part?"
"You may come if he wants you to." She looked at me expectantly.
"Sure, I would." I smiled and she nodded unsurely before carrying on.
"Where's Chance?" I asked as he stared down at me in concern.
"Busy with something, are you alright?"
"Sure, I'll survive." I sighed, not really up for talking as we walked down a set of stairs.
"Stay here please." She instructed before walking up to a man and talking quietly.
"What did they want from you?" Aaron questioned.
"Asking stuff about consent and sexuality. Trying to see if I was being genuine I guess."
"They weren't accusing you were they?"
"Not really, I wouldn't mind anyway, they're just doing their job." I smiled at him. "Don't worry about it. And try not to passive aggressively threaten them." I chuckled.
"Alright, Riley was it?" A man interrupted any further conversation loudly and I looked at him.
"Yes..."
"I'm going to be using a black light to record your scar tissue, if that's alright."
"Right.."
"You might need to take your pants and shirt off although we can compromise if you're unable to handle it."
My pants!? Oh right, American. Trousers.
"Sure I don't mind."
"Alright, in here." He walked into a smaller room with dimmed lights.
He motioned with his eyes for me to take my shirt off before fiddling with a large lamp stick.
I slid the shirt over my shoulders, pulling my tongue out at Aaron when he openly stared with a frown.
The woman walked in with a camera and I sighed.
"Alright, what area would the relevant scars be in?" He questioned as he walked back over.
"Um, everywhere." I smirked, and he nodded before placing the light over my arm.
It illuminated several marks and gashes with a lighter purple colour.
"Whoah." I smiled, intrigued as the detective took a few pictures.
He glided it up my arm and onto my chest. I lifted my head out of the way, staring at Aaron as he watched with a shocked expression.
"I'm not going to be able to recall how every one of these got there." I commented.
"What about this large one, could be counted as attempted murder to be honest." The woman motioned to my neck.
"Oh yeah, it wasn't that deep but it bled a lot."
I frowned down at the marks on my abdomen, they were in the shape of an F.
Not so intriguing anymore. I decided to stare at the wall instead.
"How long am I going to have to stand here for?"
"Not much longer, don't worry. We try to be as quick as possible."
"There's something a little uncomfortable about three people crowding around you taking pictures of your body." I smirked.
"Are you alright?" Aaron asked and I smiled at him.
"Mhm."
"What's this one?" The detective asked from behind me.
"You'll have to be more specific." I smirked.
"A bunch of oddly neat puncture wounds in a line."
"Right, I think that's from a metal pin brush, hard impact." I explained casually, but was beginning to feel anxious.
"Are we done now?" Aaron asked impatiently.
"One second." She took one final picture of the back of my ankle before they both stood up straight and moved away.
I didn't waste any time in getting dressed and escaping out of the dark room.
I've got shivers now.
I waited for them by the door, giving Aaron a small smile as he approached me.
"Please tell me they've got all they want."
"For today they do."
"As in they want something else?"
"They don't need it today, come on, let's go." He firmly nudged me in the direction of the stairs and I frowned.
"Don't like it in here?"
"I don't like you being in here."
"Oh." I looked down at the floor with my arms crossed uncomfortably.
"Are you okay?" He asked with a frown and I sighed.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Come in here for a second." He said as he went into the public bathroom.
I frowned before following him and he turned to look at me as the door closed behind us.
"What is it?" I questioned when he didn't do anything else.
"I think you need a break for a second."
I gave him a half smile before looking around to see all the stalls were empty. I sighed before sitting on the sink counter and trying to calm down.
Aaron just stood closely in front of me and didn't say anything.
I eventually smiled at him. "I guess I did." I chuckled, noticing my shaking had stopped.
He smiled at me warmly, and I couldn't help but smile back.
"How do you know how I'm feeling more than I know myself?" I smirked and he moved in a little closer, gently brushing his hand against my cheek making me blush.
"Because I take notice of you and care about you more than you do."
I was going to make a joke to lighten the tension he just caused, but his intense eye contact made me too bashful to say anything.
Um...
Oh lord, he's usually moved away by now.
I genuinely don't know what he's doing right now.
He tilted his head slightly with a frown of concentration as he watched me, like he was struggling to read my expression.
I moved backwards ever so slightly when the tension got too high, and he immediately stepped away.
"You need to see a doctor about that eye." He said bluntly and I frowned.
"Why?" I jumped off of the counter and turned around, looking at them in the mirror. I frowned again when I didn't really notice anything. Anything different at least, they were still pretty damaged.
He moved next to me when I stayed frowning at it.
"You only notice it when both eyes are in the light. Tilt your head." He gently moved my head with his hand making my face go warm, again.
I was a little distracted to get flustered though, as I noticed that my right eye stayed dilated while the other contracted in the light.
"That's not good." I immediately leaned forward, tilting my head back and forth and then covering my brow to see how it reacted.
"It's like my pupil is stuck." I grit my teeth as he sighed.
"The muscle has been damaged, it's not really improving. If you didn't skip your eye appointment it would have been seen to by now." He frowned in concern.
"It's fine, I can still see."
"You won't forever, it's only going to get worse without surgery."
"How can it get worse, it's broken. My eye is broken." I chuckled.
"You can develop a cataract, lose your sight completely. Wait." He stared into my eye intensely and I froze.
"What."
I swallowed nervously when he grabbed either side of my head and started looking from one eye to the other. His expression seemed a little shocked, and it made me anxious.
"What are you doing."
"You have...you may have the beginnings of a cataract."
"Are you serious?"
"I'm deadly serious Riley, this eye is paler. It hard to tell with your eye colour, but it's not the same as the other one."
He moved in even closer and I couldn't take it anymore, immediately closing my eyes and pushing away.
"What's wrong now?" He questioned and I shook my head with a deer in headlights expression.
"Nothing, I just, want to go now, busy day...and stuff, time for fresh air. Yay." I walked out quickly and cringed to myself.
Lord have mercy. Why am I like this.
He's not stupid, he knows he's doing that to me. Right?
"Riley you can't just literally run away from this conversation." He followed after me seriously and I sighed.
"It's fine, it's not like it's going anywhere, so I'll just wait till my next check up." I brushed him off and he gave me a flat look.
"Why are you like this." He huffed and I smirked.
That's what I want to know.
I gave him a nervous side eye glance and he chuckled slightly in confusion. "What's wrong with you at the moment? You're acting scared, it's not like I'm going to knock you out and drag you to the hospital or something. I'm not Luca."
He genuinely doesn't know why I'm flustered....
We both need help.
"I'm not concerned about a cataract, they're not so intense, usually don't even need fixing straight away anyways."
"And your broken pupil?"
"Meh, I don't see any differently."
"How would you know? It's happened gradually, and you can't see properly at the moment anyways."
"I can see good enough."
"No you can't, you're ten times clumsier than you used to be."
"Rude!"
"Riley."
"What are you two still doing here? I've been waiting for ages." Chance's annoyed voice interrupted any further conversation.
"Sorry. Coming." I quickly turned and walked in his direction, thankful to be avoiding that conversation.
He looked between both of us with a raised brow and I avoided eye contact.
Why am I acting so weird.
-
Once we got home I purposefully stayed in Angel's room so I didn't distract anyone any further.
Although I'm pretty sure Aaron just immediately went to find Luca to talk to him about my eye so I didn't make much of a difference.
Eventually the others came home from school so I sat in the games room with them instead. Alex and Hunter were playing some violent game on the PS4 so it really wasn't that interesting to spectate.
Whenever I aimlessly wonder about the house I always get in a situation though so I better just stay here bored out of my mind.
I wonder what Aaron is doing...
Um.
No I don't. I didn't just think that.
Ugh!
"Hey! That was me." Hunter suddenly complained and Alex sniggered.
"There's only one winner! Ah FAGGOT!" He practically screamed and I looked up from my phone. "Oh shit, sorry!" He winced and looked at me making me frown.
"What?"
"Bad word."
"Well you should be saying sorry to yourself too then." I commented and he gave Hunter a nervous side glance.
"I think it only counts if you're completely gay." Hunter stated and I tilted my head at him.
"What are we talking about?"
"Is the f word counted as a word meaning gay people or can it mean bisexual as well?"
"Um, I ...don't know... never really contemplated that." I snickered in confusion. "Maybe just don't ever use the word and we don't have to find out."
"Yeah...sorry." Alex mumbled as he fiddled with the game menu. "I'm pansexual not bisexual just FYI." He added when Hunter turned back around.
"What?" He looked at him with a frown.
"PANSEXUALLL."
"Is there even a difference."
"Yes!"
"Is there though."
"Uh, yes!"
"Is there really though."
I rolled my eyes as their pointless argument continued before standing up and deciding to find anyone else to hang out with in the house.
I sighed, stuck on what to do, when I noticed a door that was usually open was shut.I wondered curiously over to it, beginning to hear arguing inside.
You know you shouldn't go near there. Stay out of it...stay away from the drama.
My feet are still moving damnit.
"-That's isn't a long term solution!" Chance spat angrily, his voice was in a semi whisper, which immediately made me lean in close to the door curiously.
"Why does it need to be? Just for now it will be fine, just carry on like we are." Aaron's voice replied, seeming a little snappy.
"Exactly." Chester's voice added.
How many of them are in there??
"We can't just hide him every time Andrew comes home, and we're no longer legally connected in any way, it would be bizarre!"
Don't need to wonder who they're talking about...
"It's not normal." Luca's voice piped up, almost too quiet to make out. "To have someone so young and unrelated in our house, especially given...our relationship with him."
"Well that can be left in the past for most of us to be honest." Chester commented and I heard someone sigh sharply.
"It causes too much unrest and tension when he's here." Chance stated.
Wow, betrayal!
"What are you saying, kick him out because my brother's are entitled little shits?" Aaron snapped, obviously not liking that comment one bit.
"There's also the fact we can't afford to look after him all the time. And what right do we have to take him away from his biological family, she raised him and is wanting to stay with him."
"You obviously know nothing about his situation, that woman is not his mother, she just gave birth to him." Aaron stated angrily and someone sushed him.
Yeah...not really being quiet enough anyway.
"It wasnt even fine when he was our stepbrother, but now he's not even legally connected to us."
"What do you mean? Personally I prefer it much better when he's not scandalously connected to us but I guess it depends on your tastes." Chester commented inappropriately and yelped when someone hit him.
"These medical bills are going to be hard to pay for without Andrew knowing. He wants him gone, so it's not exactly like he'll not question where the money is going. It'll have to be our own money. I certainly don't have enough for the bills already charged, let alone the cataract, mydriasis, legal and psychologist fees that are to come." Luca stated, making me grimace as an uncomfortable shiver ran through me.
"Seriously? It's come down to money? I thought you were better than that." Aaron spat.
"No, I'm not saying that as a reason for him to leave, I'm just mentioning it as a future problem we have to solve."
"I'll pay for it."
"You have less money than me you idiot. This isn't something you can deal with by yourself, as much as you like playing hero."
"Excuse me?"
"Don't play dumb-"
"-THAT is not the issue here, remember?" Chance interrupted.
"The issue is you're all a bunch of selfish assholes considering throwing someone to the wolves!"
"Aaron I swear to god I will hit you if you keep on coming from that angle. It's not like we're going to ask him to leave any time soon! I'm talking about the future. A future where we have a young man staying in our household without the home owner's consent. Someone who also has several medical conditions and is a high school dropout so it's not like he'd b-"
"Oh you were so desperate to make that point huh?! Couldn't keep it to yourself for five goddamn minutes!"
"Wait, what was this about school?" Chester's voice asked calmly admist the shouting.
Oh, okay then.
Highschool dropout? Are they not accepting me back into school? Why didn't he tell me about that...
Fuck.
Umm...
I took a few steps back, considering leaving because I couldn't take it anymore.
"You're definitely not keeping quiet!" Luca snapped and they went silent.
"You certainly are, what, you can't get what you want from him so you no longer care?" Aaron growled quietly and they all made a few frustrated noises.
"You've really turned into a sour asshole, stop taking everything the wrong way!" Chance whisper-snapped.
"It's the only angle that benefits him so of course he won't see it any other way." Luca added.
"Are you seriously pulling that card right now? This isn't about me!"
"Of course it is! If it's about him then it's about you, because you're so damn hyperfixated on him!"
"Oh fuck off! You can't just keep bringing that up every time you want to win an argument!"
"You can't deny that there is influence there. This house has become a ticking time bomb. Arguments and fights all the time...and Zac can't even live here properly because of it." Chance stated.
"That's his own damn fault! Better than spending time in a jail cell like he should!"
"You'd seriously do that to your own brother?"
"I would, he needs to be punished for what he did, and I'm pretty sure one of you has done something similar as well!"
"You did not just fucking say that!" Luca yelled and someone slammed the door open.
"There is no point discussing anything with a bunch of idiots!" Aaron shouted, and I backed away while gritting my teeth, thankfully just out of view.
"Wait wait wait!" Chester interrupted them. "As entertaining as you're all being, we still need to come to a conclusion with this." He reasoned, and I heard Aaron sigh as he walked back into the room again.
I walked forwards towards the open door, tempted to show myself so they would just stop.
"There is no conclusion other than to let it be, any other is wrong and cruel. And I will literally find ways to get all of you arrested for statuary rape if you try and do it!"
OH MY GOD.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST FUCKING SAY?!?"
"STOP!!" I yelled loudly as I walked into the doorway, and they all looked at me with sheep in headlights expressions. "What, you can't be surprised I heard you when you were practically shouting!"
"Riley..." Aaron started unsurely and I shook my head at him.
"Don't say anything, you're getting way too angry, and they're making some seriously valid points." I sighed, backing up again. "Don't make enemies of eachother... I'll leave."
"No Riley, we don't want you to leave." Chester stated as the rest just looked at a loss for words.
I backed away more and turned to leave as I felt a lurch in my stomach.
I think I'm going to be sick.
Luca called my name as I quickly walked out of the house through the back door.
I kept on walking, not running or anything, I just needed a break.
I sighed as I stared at the ground, feeling numb.
I don't want to think.
I walked for a while, until I found myself at the waterfall.
I sat down on the grass next to the water, staring into the pool.
I kept on expecting myself to start crying like a child, but I just didn't have the energy.
I'm so tired of this.
I'm causing so much trouble.
If their relationships fall apart because of me I wouldn't be able to handle it.
I need to leave at the end of the week.
I may not survive it, but one suffering is better than all of them.
And they are suffering, especially Aaron. He's alienating himself from his family, and it's my fault.
That matters to me much more than my comfort.
I sighed in frustration, staring down at my rippling reflection. I glared at it before thrashing at it with my hand.
Fuck.
As the ripples began to calm again, I noticed another reflection in the water.
How on earth.
"I'm beginning to think you have a tracker implanted on me or something." I commented, and Aaron chuckled a little before sitting down next to me.
"Hey Sunshine..."
"Let me guess, you followed me."
"I didn't want you running away."
"I wasn't, I just wanted some space." I think I've learned my lesson in the running away department.
"Well that's why I didn't approach... do you still want to be left alone?"
"No, it's okay...I don't really, and you don't count anyway."
"I don't count?? As company? I didn't realize I was that bad at socialising." He commented and I cracked a smile.
"No you're just... different."
He stayed silent for several moments, and I eventually looked up at him.
"How much did you hear?" He asked, a guilty expression on his face.
"Not much, you seemed to have been talking for a long time before I got there. But I heard them saying Andrew doesn't want me here, and the medical bills, and ... school."
"I'm sorry Riley, you shouldn't have heard it like that."
"It's fine...I knew it was going to happen anyway."
"It's not fine, we shouldn't have been arguing about it like that...it shouldn't have been up for discussion in the first place."
"I'm sorry I give you reason to fight with your family...you really don't need to defend me. As I said they made some valid points."
"No they didn't, they're being fools, too focused on their own comfort and being on our father's good side."
"And that's perfectly reasonable for people to want. They have no reason to go out of their way for me. I'm not family...I never really was, I'm just a stranger."
"That doesn't matter, you're more than that to all of us. And others like Luca have even more reason to support you."
"Why?"
"What? Because..." He frowned and then looked at me awkwardly, and I chuckled a little.
"Oh, you mean that. I don't think that means anything, at least not anymore. I don't really have that kind of relationship with any of them." I said, and he tilted his head with a frown.
"Seriously?"
"Um, yes." I frowned as he just stared at me. "If you continue to act surprised I will get offended."
"What, not like that I just..." He sighed. "I thought you were close...with them..."
"I was at one point.."
"Why aren't you now?"
"Ummm, it's complicated, for some I am but there are...issues. Do you want to know specifics for each or...?"
"Uh, no, sorry, I'm prying..." He frowned, then sighed heavily, looking upset.
"You wouldn't really...get them all arrested would you?" I wondered.
"No, of course not. And they would never want you to leave. That whole discussion was more of a vent than anything... they're just nervous about it. And I got way too angry... I'm really sorry. I would never have said those things if I knew you were there."
"Right..."
"I mean, not unless you wanted me to..."
"What?"
"Get one of them arrested." He said seriously and I shook my head at him in concern.
"I don't. And if I did I would never get you involved. They're your family."
"I know..." He stared at the ground with a troubled expression. Obviously it upset him to fight with them. "I'm sorry I got so aggressive...."
"You don't need to apologize to me, it's not like I'd hold that against you..Thank you for... defending me I guess." I smiled as he frowned at the water.
"I am acting like an asshole aren't I, going against my brother's so easily...we used to have a much better relationship."
"You're not. This situation is complicated, there's an outside force and it's impossible to know the right answer. Each of them have different reasons for acting the way they do...and each of them have complex relationships with me." I sighed. "I'm making everyone so..."
"You need to stop blaming yourself. They're responsible for their own feelings and actions. You didn't ask for this to happen to you, and you didn't make them feel that way on purpose."
I gave him a small smile before sighing heavily.
"Are you going to be alright? If you leave?" He asked and I bit my lip.
I avoided looking at him as I thought about it. About being on my own again. My medical issues... Dealing with it all by myself. No more Anatara to keep me company.
"No. I won't." I answered honestly while staring at my hands.
It would have been better for him if I had lied and acted like it was okay. I'm being selfish by making him worry.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He wondered when I continued to stare away from him.
"I'm not..." I answered awkwardly, trying to get a hold of myself.
"Riley..."
"You just make it harder sometimes."
"What?"
"I don't know, being composed or whatever."
"You mean suppressing your emotions?"
"I guess you could call it that..."
I heard him sigh before he moved closer and gently tilted my chin towards him. I frowned as I looked him in the eyes, feeling tears forming.
"Stop it...I don't like being emotional." I complained but he didn't let me go. "Aaron!" I eventually chuckled awkwardly when I felt he was too close.
He just silently hugged me making me roll my eyes with a small smile.
I relaxed into him after a few moments, leaning there in silence. I was battling tears for a while, but began to just take in the environment instead.
"You don't have to stay here, or leave completely." He broke the silence and I frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"You could stay in the guest house. Or you could move in with me." He explained and I turned around so I was looking up at him.
"What? You're moving somewhere?"
"I might be." He said, peaking my interest.
"Why?"
"I was planning on doing it one day, and if it needs to be now that's fine with me."
"Aaron, I would never be okay with you moving out for me."
"Well you're important to me, so technically things I do for you are also for me." He excused and I chuckled.
"Hmm, not quite sure that's how it works." I sighed. "...And it would cause you so much stress. I can't be responsible for you driving away your family. They're more important to you than I am."
He frowned at me, looking a little awkward. "Honestly, I'm not so sure they are, in some ways." He admitted and I sat up slightly.
"What do you mean by that?" I asked with a concerned frown.
Is the drift between him and his brothers bigger than I thought?
He stared into my eyes silently for a while, holding a serious expression. I tilted my head in confusion and he sighed.
"You have an eye appointment at 11 tomorrow." He changed the subject abruptly and I blinked at him.
"Uh, okay, thanks..."
I sat up a little bit more and he caught my hand gently as it passed his. I watched his expression as he fiddled with it, eventually intertwining our fingers.
It of course made me feel extremely bashful and awkward, but I refrained from making a humourous remark to break the tension because he obviously wasn't in that kind of mood.
Which made it even more tense...
Oh dear.
"Your mother's divorce proceedings will not be over for a while..." He suddenly commented. "But they're technically already legally separated. Meaning you're not my step brother."
"Uh, I guess." I frowned.
"I used to tell myself that was what was holding me back" He chuckled. "But it apparently wasn't."
I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm pretty sure he's talking about...
"What am I to you?" He looked me in the eye firmly and I froze.
Oh no.
He asked it. He asked that question.
"Do you need to ask that?" I wondered out loud and he frowned.
"Yes, I think so."
"For some reason you can read me better than I can read myself, but you don't know the answer already?" I smirked, but he continued to look at me seriously.
Hm.
I am extremely hesitant to say anything about this topic.
Which is unusual really, I'm normally so open about my feelings. But this time... I don't want to do something wrong.
It matters more. He's not someone I want to risk losing, so I become shy. I can't really see myself surviving if I fuck our relationship up.
I can't lose him. I need him.
Because I...
Holy fucking shit.
I think I...
"You've gone pale." Aaron pointed out as I stared at him with wide eyes. "Riley... you're concerning me now."
"I'm sorry." I exclaimed and he looked a little unsure.
"You're sorry? Why would you be sorry?"
"No, I...it's not bad or anything..."
Yikes I'm getting flustered.
Oh god if I don't answer that would make him feel awful.
"Now you've gone red." He stated, but he seemed amused rather than upset.
"I need to...uh go somewhere." I tried to get up but he gripped my arm.
"Uh, no, you're not getting away."
"I need air!" I excused, verbally complaining when he just pulled me against his chest.
"You're already outside." He chuckled.
"Aaron!" I huffed, feeling extremely flustered.
"Hey, you don't have to say anything, don't worry." He said quietly while releasing his grip.
"I'm...I just...I don't want to say the wrong thing." I admitted as I sat up and looked him firmly in the eye.
"You've got enough to worry about right now, that question doesn't matter. Don't worry about it." He smiled, gently cupping my cheek and then resting our foreheads together, making me smile.
It's strange how quickly he can change my mood. I was so upset a few minutes ago, but now I feel a gentle warmth.
I feel so guilty that I don't have the courage to answer, he makes it so easy for me to be selfish...
I brought my hands up and gently brushed them through his hair, making him chuckle. "What's with you and my hair?"
"I just like it." I smiled, moving back slightly and catching his eye.
Uh, now it's a little awkward.
I was expecting him to move away but he just held eye contact calmly, like he was waiting for me to do something.
I don't have the courage to say anything, but I could still answer the question...
I sighed, resting against his forehead again and closing my eyes.
Fuck it.
I closed the gap between our lips almost subconsciously, and immediately felt a spark of adrenaline.
Wait what the fuck why did I just do that!
I pulled back with a start and looked to see him frozen with wide eyes.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shittttt.
"Riley..." He frowned slightly and I had an internal panic attack.
I'm an idiot why did I do that oh fuck please kill me.
"I'm sorry if you didn't like that I didn't think about it-you-just-make-me-act-so-weird! And I get flustered and I do things without thinking about it I don't know why I've never acted like that before usually I am calm about these kind of things-" I started to get up but he gripped the sides of my head.
I tensed up in fear for a few moments until I noticed he was smiling slightly.
"Well I'm glad you find the amusing side of it." I commented when he chuckled.
I felt a heat flash travel through me when he gently brushed my hair back. I watched him closely, trying to decipher his reaction.
The atmosphere changed again when he just stared at me with a fond smile.
"Eres el amor de mi vida." He mumbled, and this time I didn't quite catch what he said.
"English please." I complained, but he didn't say anything else, just moved forwards and gently captured my lips in a kiss.
I tensed up from the rush of nerves traveling through me, but then relaxed. I closed my eyes, pulling his head closer to me with my hands.
Okay, then it wasn't a mistake.
My intense reaction made my heart beat nearly out of my chest, and my breath hard to catch.
His hand dropped dropped against my waist making me shiver slightly. It was all very gentle, like he thought he would hurt me or something.
He jumped a little when I caught his bottom lip and I chuckled.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, moving back slightly.
"Don't apologize." He said seriously, maintaining eye contact and making me blush.
Oh lord please compose yourself you idiot.
He seemed a little unsure, which I couldn't blame him for. What else have I proven this year other than that my physical affection doesn't mean much.
But this time it was much different.
I couldn't possibly say that out loud...
"I don't know what to do." He suddenly muttered.
"About what?"
"I've never dealt with things like this before. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or be like. I've never been interested in this kind of thing." He admitted, and I smiled at him.
"Just be yourself and that would be perfect." I commented and he chuckled.
"Shouldn't be too hard." He rested our foreheads together and I smiled. "I really wasn't sure, you know."
"Hm?"
"That you...were you know, interested."
"Wait what?" I pulled my head back and blinked at him.
Well, that explains a lot.
I guess I'm just used to people taking what they want rather than them wanting permission.
"I must be harder to read than you claim then." I chuckled and he made a face.
"Well, I mean, now I know, your behaviour was a bit obvious."
"Lies."
"It was."
"Actually yeah it was you're kind of oblivious."
"I think you beat me in that department."
"How."
"Well you wouldn't know what I'm talking about, because you're oblivious."
"Uh huh, surrrre." I gave him a look and he chuckled.
He moved forwards and suddenly kissed me lightly, taking me off guard and making my face heat up.
I smiled bashfully and avoided eye contact.
"You're acting very cute." He commented and I made a face.
"Well, excuse me."
"That's not a bad thing!" He reasoned and I shook my head at him.
"I don't want to be cute!"
"Well tough luck on that one, you're cute one hundred percent of the time, you were just being 'very' cute just then." He teased and I rolled my eyes at him before shoving him and standing up.
"It's getting cold." I stated as he stood up.
"Right, we should be getting back. They're probably worried about you."
I chewed on my lip anxiously, not wanting to interact with any of them right now.
"Don't worry, they'll give you space. I think." He frowned. "Might not give me some though."
"You should probably stop arguing with them, you're only going to make yourself suffer if you do." I reasoned and he sighed before turning and walking in the direction of the house.
Hm, did that comment annoy him?
I hesitated to follow after him, but he turned around and waited for me.
"What's wrong?"
"Uh, nothing." I caught up with him and smiled.
I guess his relationship with his brothers isn't something I should get in the way of. Their arguments may be about me, but his opinion isn't my business or right to control.
It's not like I take him defending me for granted. I just feel bad that it's affecting him so much.
"You're worried about something, don't tell me it's my brother's and I still?" He pointed out as we walked and I made a face.
"Of course it is."
"Well I guess it's better than brooding over your own problems, just let me do that." He chuckled and I rolled my eyes.
"Who says I can't worry about multiple things at the same time."
"Hm. I think it's more that you go back and forth between them rather than the exact same time." He persisted and I gave him a look.
"Okay smartass."
He smiled at me and I rolled my eyes at his strange sense of humour.
I watched his expression as he continued walking, a little confused about how someone so different to my usual type managed to enchant me so thoroughly.
Lord, I am so screwed.
---
Oop.
#slowburn amirite lol
Sorry for the wait guys, I really wish I had more time to write .-.