Silence. Complete silence had built a wall between me and the silver beast. Not the comfortable kind, rather the agonisingly tormented kind. My palms began to sweat as my body flushed with complete anxiety.
Creeping its way throughout my body, my heart thumping against my rip cage creating an ever lasting echo in my ears. No matter how much comfort I'd began to feel around the beast it didn't deter my anxiety. It increased it, now I was concerned about what he thought, like I was afraid of disappointing him.
Trying hard to grasp my anxiety and use it to help me rather than bring me to my knees in front of another wolf I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath I focused on the sounds around me that weren't my own heart throbbing. The birds singing and the stream gently flowing became my core focus as I attempted to ground myself.
I didn't want to anger or upset the beast but I wouldn't allow another wolf to control my choices. Especially this one my heart and mind were in complete agreement for once I had to do this. Calm and collected I reopened my eyes and looked directly at the beast.
I awaited the inevitable explosion of the silver beast his battle of control against his wolf was agony to witness. Until finally the silence between us was slashed with the harsh voice of his beast mixed with his own.
"can't you see this would be safer for you if you jsut left?
I knew he meant it when he said the choice was mine. Unlike me he had a primal beast within him who had his own feelings, I had known confloction but nothing as deeply rooted as that.
The more powerfully ranked the wolf the more primal his instincts were. Granted I was completely unaware of his stature within his pack but I was willing to bet he was highly ranked and apart of the roayl pack non the less.
Regardless of my knowledge and reasonings as to why he was enraged with my choice I couldn't help but feel anger towards the silver wolf. Despite me believing his intentions were pure,he still came to me for help and kniw that I was willing to offer it he didn't want it?.
I had to strong for myself, my wants and my beliefs. Only I made them matter and only I could fight for them. I initially wanted to calm the situation between us and still did but I had to be strong in my argument to make him see why I had to do this.
"staying here only helps him
He continued his ramblings and spouting out his distastes, before I could loose my courage I spoke out.
" I don't doubt what you say, but it is my life he has ruined, I won't cowardly hide away I have to do this for me, I'm sorry if that troubles you but this is my decision!"
My voice surprised even me, it was stoeng firm and unbending. Something I'd never been before. The silver bests eyes swirled with golden specs of Amber becoming more prominent. Showing his wolf was beginning to take more of his control.
Fear attempted to make me surrender but I reasoned with myself. Coaching myself to see this through. If I back down from a wolf I had some faith in then how would I fare against alpha.
"i can't stand this, I won't have you here when your merely just a
His wolf was completly prominent in his voice, but it didn't lesson the hurt it caused me when I realised where he was going with this. He to stopped himself before he could fully let go of the word 'human'. Signifying his thoughts that I was weak.
"I may be physically weak, Im not foolish enough to think I can fight a wolf. But I am not weak!"
I watched as the silver beast eyes softened his Amber glow fading from his eyes. His wolf retreating as he realised he went to far. Never had I witnessed a more touching moment. Still his failed words had gone to deep, reminding me of why I wouldn't allow myself to trust them.
My tone was calm maybe even a hint hurt laced in my words. Disappointment at wolfs actions flooded me, however I tried to not gold it against him I wanted to be understanding to the fact he wanted me safe. That in its self was heart warming but I wouldn't forget.
"I'm.. I'm sorry Breya"
"I understand"
My words hung in the air between us as the wolf hung his head low. I figured we were done and decided hiding away wasn't the answer. Turning my back to the wolf I began to move the branches until his voice entered my head again.
"no you don't"
I froze, my back remaining to the beast. I felt his gaze all over my body causing me to tense slightly. I waited for him to continue, hoping he would provide me some insight to his thoughts.
"I don't understand, since I met you I feel at a loss, my wolf feels deeply connected to you. As do I but we can't figure out why, its driving us to near insanty. Just the thought of you being harmed send us both into a frenzy of anger, fear, worry and discomfort.
I felt the familiar feeling of tears pricking at my eyes begging to be released. His words held nothing but raw honesty as he explained himself. He seemed confused and unsure much like myself. I felt him move closer to me as my body reacted to his close presence.
"I don't think your weak Breya and thsts the problem. Your strength is undeniable, you courage and bravey awes me"
A dew stray tears fell down my face, overwhelmed with emotions I couldn't make out. I turned my body to beast his head bowed in what seemed like shame. Raising the compromising feelings to tugg at me. Gently I rest my head against his deciding to accept his words and apology.
Soon our minds were filling with the beta voice all over again. Even though his voice starled me I remained with my head against the silver beasts.
"time to get this show on the road, Breya we need you at the pack house"
Determination was all I sensed from the beta. The wolf let out a breath before finally nudging gently at me. I didn't need to hear his words to know what he wanted. It was time for me to take charge of my own life. As I climbed on the wolfs back and allowed my fingers to sink beneath his fur once more. Adrenaline filtered through my whole body.
I didn't need to know how this was going to end. Or what was going to happen. I just knew no matter what happened from here was my choice.
"let's go wolf"