After Siwon's birthday, came Chaeyoung's. Literally, the immediate day after, and it was spent with the same people that surrounded her at his.
Aside from Jennie and Jisoo who had stopped by for several hours of it. But that was later on in the evening, when she had decided to have her cake.
As Lisa had given her some sweet, sweet dessert that morning. In the form of eating her, tenaciously, until she was writhing underneath the sheets. Moaning out her girlfriend's name on her birthday morning.
During some point in the day, after presents, Lisa had received word from TheBlackLabel about their plan on announcing her as a member and new face of their company.
It included Lisa being allowed to post her latest dance video, as long as she included TheBlackLabel within it's description and tags. And the label itself would repost it on their accounts, and simultaneously release an article written about her.
Chaeyoung was happy for her, and excited that Lisa was finally going to be fulfilling her dreams. And so even though it was her own birthday, she made sure to celebrate with Lisa about the release.
After Lis's manager messaged her what time to post it, and that time came and went, they laid beside each other on the couch, and read through the article together.
Before Roseanne called everyone visiting to them, and they watched Lisa's dance video as a family on the living room tv. Chaeyoung oozing down into Lisa's side, snuggling against her as people congratulated the girl whom saved her life.
~
A little over a month later, and it was Lisa's birthday. Chaeyoung waking her up in the early morning light by kissing her neck softly. The Thai humming unintelligibly as she furrowed her brows, still remaining asleep.
She had chuckled and moved her lips lower, across the expansion of Lisa's naked chest. Kissing the valley between her breasts, before swiftly taking a nub into her mouth.
Finally, the eyes of her lover fluttered open, back arching at the wet muscle massaging her right nipple. It made her release the softest of moans. Roseanne whispering a good morning to Lisa at the sound, before moving delicately over to her other side.
Brushing her lips against the hardening nub, as she let her hands roam lower on the woman's toned body. Grazing fingers across the warmth that was pooling below. Wishing the brunette the happiest of birthdays, before she began to suck on the small, pink bud before her.
Lisa had replied, lowly, already giving into her touch which Chaeyoung adored her for. Slipping a leg over her hand that had begun to work into her girlfriend, adding to the pressure of their love making.
What had surprised Chaeyoung later that morning, was Lisa opting not to have cake for breakfast, as she had seemed to do that almost every year. She didn't think to much on it, assuming the Thai would choose to have it later like she had the month before.
Which she was right, as they did end up having her cake in the evening, but Chaeyoung was given the rest of what seemed like half of Lisa's original slice. After her girlfriend sadly said she was told to watch her diet by the company.
Not like Lisa's genes would ever let her gain, it still was something Chaeyoung now needed to take into account. Already trying to think of new recipes she could try to accommodate her, and maybe herself. The both of them attaining peak physique together.
"I'm sorry." Lisa had whispered. Looking to each of them at the table, and feeling like she was being unappreciative of what was made for her. "It's great and I wish I could have more. But they monitor me pretty strictly." She glanced to Chaeyoung beside her. "At least... my looks."
"It's okay baby." Chaeyoung smiled lightly, placing a hand on Lisa's and squeezing it. "I'll finish it off. Though, I'm sure one piece wouldn't hurt?"
"Maybe not one... but I don't want to risk it." She admitted quietly. "I've only been in the label a couple of months. I'm still new." Lisa glanced to her parents, meeting their gaze. "I want to make a good, early on impression. So they'll hopefully lighten up on the restrictions sooner rather than later."
"We understand Lisa." Marco replied, knowing his stepdaughter meant well even though not eating much. "They just want you in tip top shape. Most likely for that shoot you mentioned, right? Isn't that soon?"
"Ah, yes!" Lisa recalled. Thinking back to her schedule. "I believe it's in the upcoming days. For their clothing brand, Nonagon."
"Please tell me there's some lgbt selection that has your name branded on it that I can snag?" Rosie leaned into her side. "I'll even pay. I just want whatever that hot, gay model/dancer wears."
"Shut up." Lisa laughed, imagining the way Chaeyoung would probably save any magazine cover or article she may graze. A warmth in her heart spreading at the idea that Chae could, and that she possible would even be within the pages of a magazine.
Like some dream.
"How about, I grab gifts as Chaeyoung finishes up rest of cake?" Ami suggested, seeing that most the table was being cleared off by her husband. "I'll be back. Wait here."
Both girls had watched Momma Ami go, before Chaeyoung chuckled. Shaking her head as she spooned another bit of the delicious vanilla creme cake into her mouth.
"What's so funny?" Lis whispered, looking to her with a smile. Finding the blonde extremely adorable while her cheeks are stuffed with food. Like a little chipmunk.
"Well..." Rosie mumbled. "If your Mom's English wasn't so f'n cute, I'd probably be offended hearing her so easily say I'll be finishing the rest of the cake. Like I'm some pig or something." She chuckled, lightheartedly.
"Well we all know you're the slimmest, and sexiest, if I may add, so even if you pig out, you'll still be just as gorgeous." Lisa reassured her. "And you are enjoying yourself while eating the rest of it, right?"
"Fuck yes I am." Chaeyoung stated. Catching Lisa off guard and making the woman laugh as Momma Ami returned with the gifts. Well, all of them except for one. As Chaeyoung planned on giving the last one later, for Lisa's eyes only.
And no, it wasn't more sex. But something that actually took her a lot of courage to do. So she was still nervous and embarrassed by the idea of the household all knowing about it. So no Marco, Ami, Leo or Luca ears would be hearing what she'd be sharing with her tonight.
Not quite yet anyways.
~
An hour and a half later, everyone was in their respective bathrooms getting ready for bed. Chaeyoung currently brushing her teeth, while Lisa was situated on their bed already.
Connected to her iCloud and restoring her latest backup to her new, thankfully crack-less phone. Lisa thanking her parents a million times in her head, even after saying a million thanks at the table.
A creak of the bathroom door raised Lisa's attention away from the new device. A smile making it's way to her lips as she subconsciously set her phone to the side. Spreading her legs a bit so Chaeyoung could crawl up the bed and between them.
The blonde lifting each leg over her own, straddling her as Chae's hands made their way around her neck. "Hi." Rosie smiled, pecking her lips softly.
"Hello gorgeous." Lisa hummed, looking down over the loose, oversized top her girlfriend wore. Running her hands up and down along the skin within it. Biting down the slightest on her bottom lip each time her fingers dipped into the woman's heavenly curves.
"Will you be letting me top tonight?" She questioned. Already bringing her lips to Chaeyoung's neck where they dragged leisurely across it. Leaving the lightest trail of anticipation.
"I won't be, no. Unless you consider being the big spoon topping." Chaeyoung replied. Knowing well her voice faltered a bit when Lisa squeezed her sides. "You have to be up early tomorrow. Again."
"You're worth it." Lisa whispered. Lifting up Roseanne's top to slip her head beneath it. Wanting nothing more than a repeat of their morning, but with herself leading. But before she could disappear into perky breasts, Chaeng caught her chin, and lifted her head up.
"But it's my birthday..." She pouted. Pulling Rosie against her and letting her eyes trail back down to the soft mounds hidden beneath the fabric. "Please."
"How about, because it's your birthday," Chaeyoung began, leaning away from Lisa and reaching for her phone off the nightstand. "I give you your final gift?"
"Final gift?" Lisa repeated curiously, raising a brow and sitting herself up straighter. Rosie sliding off her lap and sitting criss cross on the bed before her.
"Yes." Chaeyoung spoke. "And please, keep it between us for now?"
Lisa's curiosity was now completely peaked by that statement. Forgetting all about her needs and nodding her head furiously. Watching Chaeng smile nervously in return. The blonde's thumb tapping away on the unseen screen.
"Listen, I know it's been awhile since we talked about it." Chaeyoung explained, looking up to Lisa once she had arrived to the page. "But I remembered our conversation about it. And since you're now following your dreams, I thought, why can't I? And have you be proud of me for doing so."
Lisa furrowed her brows as Rosie passed her phone into her hands. The brunette raising the screen to her eyes, and noticing she was staring at a YouTube channel.
It had a single video posted, a cover of some sort. Her eyes trailing to the name, before they widened in realization, and noticed an adorable drawing of roses as it's channel art.
"Oh my god..." Lisa breathed. Looking up to Chaeyoung who was grinning sheepishly. "Oh my god!"
"Is that all you have to say?" The blonde chuckled. Loving the way Lisa's eyes sparkled under the fairy lights.
"You made a YouTube channel! And not just the one to stalk mine with!" Lisa exclaimed, looking back down to the phone and giggling. "You posted a cover! Oh my god you posted it... there's 54 views! Holy shit you already have ten subscribers! And you only posted it yesterday!"
"Woah baby... calm down."
"Nuh uh!" Lisa pointed a finger in her face. "No telling me to calm down. My baby is going viral! Now is my damn phone done restoring? I need to like, comment, and subscribe! Another view incoming!"
"Okay." Rosie spoke, grabbing her phone back and listening to Lisa whine. Crawling back into her lap and staring her down seriously. "You're cursing like a mad woman and acting like one too."
"But, you posted..."
"I know damn well what I did and I did it for you. Hence why I'm singing a song about being in love with someone and that someone is you." Chaeyoung stated. "Now if you'll calm down, maybe we can snuggle up and watch it together. Hm? And share some kisses?"
Lisa sighed and agreed silently. Still wanting to scream out of sheer happiness, maybe do a happy dance, but understanding that would only cause her girlfriend to want to have her sleep alone. On her very own birthday.
"Don't look so sad." Chaeyoung whispered after watching Lisa's expression change to one of disappointment. "You can happily yell all you want tomorrow while on your way to TheBlackLabel."
She then leaned down, and captured her girlfriend's lips in a long, captivating kiss. The both of them going in for seconds before settling down in bed together, and clicking on her video.
Lisa's eyes bright as she watched Rosie strum her guitar and serenade the camera, as if it were her instead. All the while Chaeyoung's lips were against her neck.
~
As the next few months went by, Chaeyoung found herself trying to take on new hobby's. Song writing being one of them. Using her sketchbook, she'd write out a few words she'd find herself humming during the day, mindless singing really.
But she'd then attempt to create a song out of them, or including them. Sometimes even doing small sketches beside the words to try to provide some sort of visual inspiration. Most the time though, her visual inspiration was Lisa.
Luckily for her, Lisa still has a decent amount of time at home. Going to whatever practice or meetings TheBlackLabel would have set up for her five, maybe six times out of the week. But on certain days, she'd be able to come home early, and spend more time with her and the family.
Chaeyoung was appreciative of that. Because practice was long, and tiring for Lisa, but her girlfriend always told her she enjoys it. Because she was dancing, and the more tired she got, meant the more work she had put in for the day.
Lisa has been working hard though. Participating in two, relatively well followed artist's music videos. And one joint dance presentation at a show with other entertainment companies artists or dancers within the last month. Even more modeling for the clothing brand that jumped up in stock since Lisa's first photoshoot was released.
Her girlfriend was climbing. Making a name for herself. And she loved it.
While Lisa was working hard, Roseanne had uploaded another cover to her YouTube channel. The next one already in the works. And since she's been getting a decent amount of views and subscribers as of late, she's taken to making a second Instagram account, and trying to engage with the community there.
She's happy to report, she likes talking with 'fans' over the internet. Her social anxiety isn't that bad, and she feels less judged because people don't know her background. Not knowing where she's come from, therefore no one would have any reason to ask her about it. Or why and how it all happened.
Because of how much more comfortable she was with it, she's started up mini live sessions. Anytime she's bored and waiting for Lisa to arrive home, she'd start a 'bored in the bedroom' Instagram live. And sing whatever song came to her mind. Or what the several hundred viewers would recommend.
Sometimes, Lisa being one of them watching, if the Thai was able to catch the live at any point during whatever endeavors she was doing. Always making her comments silly, yet meaningful.
Like when viewers would ask her what she was doing, sometimes Chaeyoung would answer with 'waiting for my girlfriend to come home', and Lisa made sure to comment something along the lines of 'I'm sure she'll be home soon :)'. And then, just like the 'random' stan account would comment, she'd hear the garage door opening, and hastily say goodbye to her viewers and end the live.
Rushing downstairs like a mad woman. All the way to the door, where she'd embrace Lalisa like they hadn't hugged in years. Kissing her with an infinite amount of pecks before offering to make her a meal while the woman washed up upstairs.
And was Lisa always grateful for that. Especially when the woman would thank her by taking her in her arms, and throwing her onto the bed before climbing on top and attacking her neck. Lisa grasping her leg and raising it high before their bodies molded together in rushed pleasure and raw lo-
"Whatcha doin'?"
Chaeyoung gasped and practically threw her phone as Lisa entered their room. Chuckling, Lisa smiled and lifting up the device for her girlfriend. Furrowing her brows as she peeked at the screen and brought it over to where Chaeyoung was sitting.
"Recording a memo?"
"Maybe." Rosie replied. Swiftly taking the device from her hands and hiding it beneath her thigh before she leaned over and pecked her cheek. "Thank you."
"Mhm." She continued to smile fondly. "But what were you recording?" Lisa questioned. "I mean, I heard the tail end of it... wonder who you're telling those secrecy's to?" She winked.
Chaeyoung smiled and shook her head. "Nothing about what we do in this room is secret. At least, not from those who live here."
"Ah, so it's someone who doesn't?"
"God..." Rosie face palmed. "I'm just recording things to myself okay?"
Lisa looked to Chaeyoung with curiosity. Wondering why the woman, whose un-dyed roots grew longer each passing day, needed to tell herself about the things they do. "Chae? How come?"
Roseanne sighed and looked to her lover. Eyes surveying the light perspiration that hued the Thai's face. Knowing Lisa had just lifted the remainder of her luggage to the car, and was probably coming to collect her own bag before they took off.
"I just want to remember how we were at certain points in our life." She admitted. "Like how I'm doing my little insta sessions and covers. You've been successfully dancing, doing those videos and even your YouTube." Chaeyoung cupped Lisa's cheek. "Then, how we are together, when you come home."
Lisa closed her eyes as Chae's thumb swiped across her cheek. Reaching a hand to hers, bringing Chaeyoung's to her lips where she kissed the back of it tenderly. "Baby, you're so cute it hurts." She looked into Roseanne's eyes, continuing her English.
"Listen, I know I'm away from home more now, and it sucks." She admitted. "I'm hoping it will change though, and I'll get to have a more balanced schedule in the future. Until then though, I'm going to love you every second I get."
"I know babe. And I understand." Chaeyoung stated with a smile. Lacing their fingers together as they faced one another. "I just want to document us, not because I'm unhappy with how things are. I'm actually quite content right now."
"You are?"
"Yes. You're following your dreams, and doing a damn good job at doing so."
"You are too you know?" Lisa smiled back. Squeezing Rosie's hand. "Like babe, people love your voice."
"I only have two videos."
"And they love your voice!" She chuckled. Leaning foreword and resting her forehead on Chaeng's. "I'm so proud of you."
"And I am of you." Rosie replied quietly. Nearly humming as they stayed close. "Are you ready for tomorrow?"
"Yeah. Got everything in the car. Kind of nervous about the flight though." Lisa spoke. Leaning away from Chaeyoung and standing up. Running fingers through her bangs as she paced a bit. "It's my first time flying without my family. And my first time leaving you..."
"I know." Rosie hastily followed her up and took her hand into hers once more. "I'm nervous for you too, and for being away from you, but this is such a big step." Her girlfriend soothed her. "I mean, it's your first photoshoot outside of the label. Not to mention, it's overseas and highly sought after."
"Yeah.... God it's crazy. Like what do they even see in me?"
"Talent? Personality? Beauty?" Rosie listed off. Before running a finger down her jaw, then neck, then torso. "Toned skin... electrifying abs..."
"Mm..." She hummed. Reaching around Chaeyoung's waist with her hands. "Yeah. I'm sure it's the abs one..." Rosie chuckled in response and looped her arms around her neck. Their bodies pressing together deliciously as they stood.
"Funny how you made me forget about my nervousness so easily." She whispered onto Chae's lips. "Along with the fact I came all the way up here to see if you were packed and ready for Siwon's."
"Packed yes, ready no." Chaeyoung replied. "I was hoping we could get in a shower before you dropped me off."
"We?"
"Mhm." The blonde bit back a smirk. "Would have just been me, but I see you got a little hot while loading the car. Thought you'd be up for joining me?"
"Siwon may be a little upset if I keep his daughter away from him for any longer than I already do. Considering he's been planning this getaway for you two for far too long. And our schedules finally worked out for it."
"And how will you sharing a shower with me be anymore time consuming than if I were to shower alone?" Chaeyoung questioned, playfully flicking the baby hairs on Lisa's neck in wait.
"Because you know we'll be doing everything but washing up in there." Lisa dropped her eyes and looked over Chaeyoung's body. Feeling a knee gently pressing against her groin. "Rosie..."
"I'm sure he won't mind me being a few minutes late..." Chaeyoung whispered. Standing on her toes and breathing against Lisa's ear. "Or more."
Lisa released a shaking breath as Roseanne's lips kissed her ear. A talented tongue darting out to trace her lobe before sucking on it softly. "Okay..." She breathed out. "I give in."
"Perfect." Chaeyoung cooed, leading her into the bathroom by her hand. Undressing her with her lips the second they locked the door behind themselves.
~
One year later...
Lisa was sleeping soundly before several knocks rung throughout the room. Making her groan and turn on her side before they sounded again, a bit heavier against the door. She blinked her eyes, groggily moving to raise herself from the bed.
Checking her appearance quick and taming down her hair as she made her way to the door. Opening it just before her manager could get in another round of knocks on her door.
"Yes?" She questioned tiredly. Squinting her eyes against the bright lights that illuminated the hotel's hall.
"Are you just now waking up?" Her manager looked to her astounded. "Lalisa, you're needed on set within the hour? The car's already out front."
She brought a hand to her face and sighed. Rubbing her eyes as she spoke. "I'm sorry. I must have overshot my alarm." Lis opened her eyes, offering an apologetic smile. "Give me ten? You can run down and get something to eat from the hotel breakfast if you want. Let the driver know too?"
Her manager sighed. "Gosh, whatever will we do with you?" He chuckled. "Deal, but we seriously need to work on your ability to wake up in the morning."
"As my girlfriend always says, I'm not a morning person." She smiled. "I'll pay you back for whatever you get."
"Just get ready Manoban. Ten minutes!" Her manager warned, before heading off down the hall towards the elevator. Still unbelieving how that girl just can't get used to the early morning schedules.
"Damn..." Lisa sighed. Closing the door and heading into the bathroom where she pulled off her top and began washing her face. Hoping the water would help wash the sleep away. She soon exited and retrieved a sweater from her room's closet. Pulling it on as she walked to the curtains and peered out at the warming city below. "Good morning China."
She looked down to her sweater and took in a breath. Running her hands over it, feeling the warmth as her mind reminded her where it came from. Lisa turned away from the window and grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on before snagging her phone off the nightstand.
Dialing out her call as she returned to the bathroom to tie her hair, and apply light makeup as the speaker tone echoed. She was putting in one of her earrings as the call got answered.
"Hi."
She smiled and looked down to the device. Seeing the time and thanking the universe everyday that her girlfriend was a morning person. At least Korea was an hour ahead of her, benefitting the early morning calls made to her girl. "Hey baby, how'd you sleep?"
"Good, just woke up." Chaeyoung spoke a bit groggily. "What about you?"
"I just did too, but I'm running late so we have to make the call quick." She looked at herself after placing in both earrings. Finding a necklace to wear as she spoke. "I wanted to tell you that I'm wearing my lucky thirteen sweater you got me."
"Ah, the blue and red one?"
"Mhm."
"You always look so good in that."
"All thanks to you." Lisa smiled at the thought of her girlfriend choosing the clothing item for her specifically based off the idea that it would fit her well. It was sweet, and endearing of her. "What will you do today babe? Any plans?"
"Probably draw or work on the ep. I think your mom wants to watch a movie later so we'll probably do that too." Chaeyoung replied. Eyes closed as she listened to the shifting of things Lisa was doing in her hotel room. Rolling over to her girlfriend's usual side of the bed and missing the warmth from it. "Lisa... will yo-"
"Manoban!" A voice called through the door. Lisa groaning and grabbing her wallet and keycard before bringing the phone to her ear.
"Baby, I love you. But I gotta go." She greeted her Manger with a head tilt as they began walking down the hall. Her additional security escorting them. "I promise I'll call you tonight once I get back in, please wait for me."
"I will." Rosie replied quietly. "I love you too Lis. Stay safe and take care, please."
"Always." Lisa answered, before ending the call and stuffing her phone into her pocket. Her manger handing her a muffin as the elevator began taking them down.
"Your girlfriend?" He questioned her as the floors ticked by. Security sneaking a glance to her, as if he didn't know the buzz of Lalisa Manoban.
"Yeah." She smiled, pointing down at her sweater with her free hand. "She got me this you know?"
"Looks good."
"Right?" Lisa beamed. Biting into the muffin and thanking her manager for it, unaware that she was leaving her girlfriend to cry alone.
~
Lisa smiled to the collection of people that were waiting for her to exit the building. Accepting several flowers from girls who showed a little too much cleavage, or tried to let their hands touch as the multicolored petals were passed.
She kept her smile up anyways. Unbothered by the girls trying their luck, and not wanting to hurt their feelings either. By telling them to button up their shirts, because she wasn't interested in anyone else besides her current, and only lover.
The world just didn't know who that lover specifically was yet.
Lisa offered a grin to the man opening the back door of the darkened suv for her. Climbing inside and listening to the driver as he questioned her on if they were returning to the hotel. Which she happily replied with a yes.
Leaning back against the seat whilst rolling her window down enough for her hand to show out the car. Making hearts with her fingers as the people chanted "Mentor Lisa" and chased after her car for a block or two, until they turned onto a quieter road.
She sighed, rolling up the window while looking out at the city and streetlights. The glow illuminating the evening for them. Lisa wished she could explore it more, but she was tired, and had plans to FaceTime her girlfriend after a long shower anyways.
She'd been in China for almost two months, filming for a show called Youth With You, during it's season two. She was a dance mentor, and a pretty strict one if asked by any of the girls training under her. But they seemed to love her anyways, which was nice.
But Lisa really only worried about one girl's love for her, and that was Chaeyoung's. Seeing that even tho it's only almost been two months here, she's been away from home a bit longer than that already.
When she really began to take off in popularity, mainly in thanks to her YouTube channel, TheBlackLabel decided that it was becoming too dangerous for her to drive herself to and from. All it took was once person spotting her, and following her a good distance away from the label, for that decision to be made. And made swiftly.
So on top of only being allowed to and from via a label provided driver and vehicle, they also came to the conclusion of providing her a dorm at the company. And if she were to have several days in consecutive order that she had to be at the label, studio, or booked event for, they'd inform her she'd have to stay in her dorm.
Instead of returning home.
That company decision drastically decreased her time at home. It also made the day it was finalized extremely hard for her, because even after all her protesting, she still had to return home and deliver the news. And comfort Rosie as she had cried after hearing it.
And almost like Chaeyoung could sense where her mind was, Lisa's attention was brought away from the window by a notification on her phone. A new video being posted by no other than her favorite youtuber. She would have been overly excited to watch it, but her finger lingered over the notification in uneasy nervousness.
A sensation in the pit of her stomach that left her feeling rather empty. And lonely.
Because even though Chaeyoung was still very much her girl, Lisa knows she's been a bad girlfriend to Chae. Not meaning to be, but very much being... neglecting. And it showed throughout Rosie's music. Whatever covers or original pieces shared being so... gloomy, as of late.
Sadness. That's what they would bring.
Because Chaeyoung was incredible. Her voice, her ability to project so much emotion through her words and playing always left Lisa so stunned. But so sad... because of what it was she was hearing... what she was seeing.
She didn't want to admit it. She didn't want to ask the questions she already knew the answers to. Lisa didn't want to make life away from home any harder on herself by knowing the truth. But man, was she being so selfish in doing that.
God she was so selfish.
Lisa wiped a single tear from her cheek and clicked on the notification. Bringing her to Chaeyoung's newest cover and feeling as her self hatred rooted deep within her. Making her smile in pain as Rosie's fingers began to strum. The dirty blonde's face lit by a single, amber light. Helping to elicit an emotional
and raw feeling within the moodlighting.
"It's not true." Her voice sang. "Tell me I've been lied to. Crying isn't like youuu..."
Lisa closed her eyes at the richness. The driver of the vehicle taking peaks in the mirror at the unaware dancer, wondering who she was watching and why she seemed so moved by it. He focused back on the road as Lisa opened her eyes to the screen.
It's been awhile since Chaeyoung has listened to Billie. But now that she was again, she knew her girlfriend was in much more pain than she'd ever like to admit. Because that album, that damned album, always brought upon the thought of pain. Heartbreak, sadness, a lost life...
Addiction.
Rather it was the real addiction that had coursed through Rosie's veins those few years, or the new addiction that was shared within theirs. Their own need of one another breaking them down to a dust. Wanting nothing more than to fade into the wind, and be carried back into each other's arms.
She needed her girlfriend.
Just as much as it seemed Chaeyoung needed her.
Lisa brought the phone to her chest. Holding it to her as she curled up in the backseat, listening. Not caring that she wasn't alone and allowing herself the secluded car ride's opportunity to cry. Knowing she wouldn't be questioned by the driver on it.
And knowing she needed it.
~
"Chaeyoung?" Ami spoke. Looking ahead to the girl who was seated across from her and lazily playing with her food. "Aren't you going to eat?"
The young woman's eyes glanced up to hers, holding Ami's gaze, until the Australian shrugged and looked back down to her food. "I'm not that hungry."
She looked away from Chaeyoung. To Marco and Siwon situated on the other side of the table. Marco offering her a kind smile, while Siwon cleared his throat. Cleaning off his face with his napkin, knowing he should say something.
"Chae," He began. "Ami made us dinner, which is fantastic by the way." He grinned to the chef of the evening. "Thank you." Siwon then looked back to Chaeyoung. Putting a hand on the young woman's back. "Shouldn't we share it together? Enjoy it?"
Roseanne took in a breath. Closing her eyes and nodding at Siwon's words. Not wanting to be unappreciative, but certainly struggling to find the will to eat. Today just wasn't her day, like most lately.
"We should," She started, looking to Momma Ami. "And it does look great. Thank you Momma, for making it..." Chaeyoung then looked down at her food, swirling it. "But I'm... not hungry."
Hearing that Chaeyoung wasn't hungry was disconcerting to Ami, for multiple reasons. One, was the girl loved food, and always was willing to eat it. Two, this wasn't the first time she's passed on a meal as of late. And the third reason, was a sure stem from the second.
Roseanne appears slimmer.
"Can I be excused?" Chaeyoung questioned the table. Siwon immediately denying her, but Ami raised her hand. Silencing him with it as her eyes moved from his kind ones, to Roseanne's broken ones.
"You may, but I'd like you to bring your food with you." She compromised, watching Chaeyoung look down to the bowl. "You don't have to finish it, just have something. Okay?"
"Okay." Chae replied. Wrapping a loose hand around the bowl and standing up.
"I'll be up to check on you later." Ami stated. Chaeyoung nodding and whispering a thank you before walking quietly up the stairs. Into the bedroom where she's sure the bowl will be placed down, and remain untouched.
"I'm sorry Ami." Siwon spoke. Capturing her attention. "She shouldn't be acting like this."
"She shouldn't be, no... but am I upset with her? Of course not." She explained. "Chaeyoung has her reasons, as do I when I'm acting different. I just hope she'll eat something."
"Me as well." Marco commented. "She's eating less and less these days..."
"Hopefully when Lisa returns for her vacation, Chaeyoung will perk up and eat more." She spoke optimistically. "I know her being gone is what's causing all this."
"It shouldn't take Lisa returning for her to eat." Siwon sighed. "I've been trying hard to keep her happy. Bringing her to her favorite places and playing music. But she just... she just..." Siwon rubbed his eyes and looked down.
Ami standing up and walking over. Placing her hands on his shoulders and squeezing them. "I know..." She looked up to the ceiling, imagining the night sky through it. "Chaeyoung just stands there, watching as time passes her by."
~
Roseanne rummaged through the dresser. Sniffing as she struggled to find what she was looking for. Any article of clothing that held some residual smell of her. Anything that could bring her a little happiness, besides the two cats that awaited her on the bed.
Missing their Mom, much like she was.
Finally, she caught a scent. A faint one, but it was still there. Lingering on the heavily worn shirt that Chaeyoung had pulled out from the bottom drawer. A smile on her face as she held it to her, before ripping off her own and replacing it with Lisa's.
Moving to the bed where she slipped underneath the covers beside the cats and began to pet each of their heads. Her phone screen lighting up the room faintly with each new notification, as her dinner bowl sat cooled beside it.
She looked to her phone and watched as some new comments on YouTube and Instagram came through. People either complimenting her voice, or mentioning how moved they were while listening to the song. Thankfully, nothing she couldn't handle reading.
Chaeyoung reached over and collected her phone. Scrolling through her socials, eyes drifting up to the time in the corner subconsciously. Wondering if it'd be too early to call her, and wanting nothing more than to hear her voice. But there was always that little voice in the back of her head, telling her to wait.
Because if she called to early, she could interrupt something. A dinner, a meeting, an event. She couldn't risk putting her girlfriend in any kind of awkward position... so she waited. She always waited. She always told herself to hold on, just a little bit longer.
Which was exactly what Ami was saying, but to Roseanne instead of her daughter. For the blonde to hold on, that Lisa would be back soon, and she'd see to it that she'd stay. As a mother, as a future mother-in-law. She would not wait and see how far things would have to go until Chaeyoung would crumble.
She couldn't possible allow that date to ever come. So even though she knows they talk, overhearing their calls while in the hall sometimes, she still needed to know more. Ami needed to meddle, and figuring out if her daughter was befalling the same fate as Chaeyoung, or at least, knew what kind of fate her girlfriend was caught in.
Ami stopped her stressful washing of the dishes and lifted her phone off the counter. Peeking around the corner to the men who were chatting in the living room, before rushing into the guest bedroom and dialing out to her daughter. Praying Pranpriya wasn't busy at this time of night.
"Hey Mom." Lisa greeted from the other line. Breath still minty as she laid on top of the bed. Not quite ready to get beneath the covers just yet.
"Hi Pranpriya."
She furrowed her brows at the use of her given name. Immediately sitting up and tapping on the icon that requested the call to change to a FaceTime. Her Mother agreeing and Lisa soon finding herself searching for answers in her Mom's eyes. "What'd I do?"
Ami looked to her daughter, not noticing any dark circles that Chaeyoung sometimes wore. But something that did catch her eyes was the redness of Lisa's nose, and puffiness of her lids. Disheveled hair pulled to the side as the young woman eyed her. "Mom?"
"Are you alright sweetie?" She questioned. Watching Lisa visibly gulp.
"Yes? I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
Lisa looked away from her Mother and phone. Out the rather large window and towards the street below. Picturing it as Seoul instead, and turning back to face the music. "I miss home."
"And home misses you. We all do." Her Mother replied quietly. "You'll be here soon though, and everything will be alright. Just a few more days."
"Yeah... a few more" She responded distractedly. Something about the sentence prior feeling a bit off putting. "What do you mean by everything being alright? What's happening? What's going on?"
"By the look of your eyes, I can assume you can guess." Ami replied. Watching as Lisa's eyes grew darker. Her face stilling as the young woman lost herself to thought.
"I'm going to make it up to her." Lisa whispered. Sniffing back a few tears that threatened to fall. "I miss her too, everyday. I don't even want to think about how lonely she's been..."
"She needs you." Her Mom spoke, voice shaking. "I called because she really needs you Lisa. And by your appearance, you need her. So please, come home, for the full two weeks, if not more. Take a break, and get our Chaeyoung back into high spirits. Before I end up needing to get her a new dose of her prescriptions."
"Don't say that." Lisa begged. "Please don't say that. She's been so good this past year. Not needing to take anything... she's completely sober, she's done it. She's healed."
"She's depressed." Her Mom sniffed. "She's not eating like she should and I'm worried she's reverting back to the girl we first met. I can't keep watching her fade away Lisa. I just can't."
For a long moment, Lisa stayed silent. Her eyes unmoving from the spot they had rested on before her Mother enlightened her. The sinking ship that was her heart finally disappearing below the surface of despair. No longer able to cry. Only sit, and think about the one thing that was truly important in that moment.
"I'll call her." She spoke. Finally breaking the silence and looking back down to her Mom. "I'll call her and tell her how much I freaking love her. Then I'll make sure she eats and knows I'll be home soon. I promise you, I'll let her know."
"Good." Her Mom smiled, holding her gaze. "I love you Pran. I need you home again too."
"I love you too Momma. And I will be." She replied, bringing her lips to the camera and kissing her Mom through it, before ending the call and taking a few moments to compose herself. Wiping her eyes and running her fingers through her hair until she felt ready enough to talk to her love.
And hopefully keep it together whilst doing so.
Meanwhile, Chaeyoung was slowly drifting off when her phone began buzzing from where it had slipped out of her hands. Startling her awake, until she realized what had happened and noticed Lisa's contact on the dully lit screen. Smiling as she quickly answered it. Finding herself staring at Lisa's tired, yet loving eyes.
"Babyyy." She cooed happily. Yawning a bit as she sat up and stretched.
"Were you sleeping?" Lisa questioned. A smile of her own as she heard the most adorable little sounds come from her girlfriend's mouth during her stretch. Her eyes trailing her body and noticing the tee she was wearing. "Hey, is that my shirt?"
"Yeah." Chaeyoung nodded. Looking down at the graphic design, tracing it with her finger. "I like wearing your clothes."
Lisa hummed as she studied the slight frown Chaeyoung held, before the dirty blonde smiled a bit and looked to her. Lisa didn't mind hiding her worried expression though, and Rosie saw it immediately. Reading through it like an open book and slouching down in response.
Knowing what came next.
"I watched your latest video." Lisa began, keeping her voice calm. "You sounded amazing... like always."
"Thanks." Rosie whispered. Not quite meeting Lisa's gaze as she shifted further down. Pulling the covers up and over her shoulder as she laid on her side, phone in front of her.
"Though... I wasn't a particular fan of the song choice." Lisa stated while bringing the phone closer to her, inspecting Chaeyoung through the screen. "Even though it's beautiful, I couldn't help but feel like you sang it to represent us. Like a lot of your covers now days."
"Lisa, I-"
"I love you Chaeyoung." She interrupted. "I love you so much I don't even know how to put it into words."
Roseanne stared, quiet. Taken back by the sudden outpour, yet unknowingly relieved by it. Watching as Lisa ran a frustrated hand through her hair.
"God..." Lisa sighed. "You know, I love you so much I know exactly what kind of music you listen to and why. What albums and songs make you feel which way. So I know why you chose that song. I know why you wanted to sing something, anything, off that album."
"Because it's your go to album for when you're hurting baby." She breathed out, looking back at a staring Chaeyoung. "You're hurting... and it's all my fault."
"It's... it's not." Chaeyoung sniffed. Pulling her legs up to her chest as she fought back tears. "It's not yours."
"It is, because I knew what I was getting myself into and I still chose to pursue this life."
"Because it's your dream."
"Not anymore." Lisa chuckled. Shaking her head with a scratch of her neck. "I just wanted to dance. Now? I just want to be home, with you. Making everything up to you for the past year and a half. Kissing you, loving you, like I should have been this whole time."
"Lisa, I don't want you hating yourself anymore than you already do because of how we've been." Chaeyoung admitted quietly. Her excuse, for never being upfront about her feelings.
"Well it's a little too late, seeing how I cried listening to your singing today because I realized just how selfish I'm being towards you and your feelings." The brunette practically scoffed. "I'm an asshole."
Chaeyoung furrowed her brows. Try to understand what Lisa was meaning by her words. "How? How are you being selfish?"
"Because I would ask you how you've been but not truly ask you. I wasn't digging for your feelings, to know if you really were okay or not." Lisa sighed. "I was scared of hearing what I didn't want to. Scared of hearing about you being sad, or lonely. Too lonely to even eat..."
Chaeyoung's eyes widened at the last bit. Gulping as Lisa observed her like a hawk.
"Yeah..." The Thai spoke. "Babygirl, I know you miss me. Hell, I've been missing you too. So so much I cry myself to sleep sometimes." Lisa met her gaze. "But you need to eat okay? You need to stay strong, so that I can be strong. And we can meet each other again in the next few days."
Tears were welling in Chaeyoung's eyes as she nodded. Trying hard not to let out a sob as Lisa smiled through some of her own. Light tears coating her cheeks as she continued.
"I'll be there soon you know?" Lis smiled her best. "Only a few more days and I'll be all yours. Within your arms again, for two whole weeks."
"I'll never let you go." Chaeyoung chuckled tearfully. Smiling at the thought of physically holding her girlfriend against her, and already imagining the warmth from it.
"That's fine." Lisa shrugged. "I never want you to anyways." The two of them smiled to each other through their dim screens, before Lisa sighed. "God... you're so beautiful."
"Stop..." She covered her face with her hands. Though her smile peeked through it and sparkled in Lisa's brown eyes.
"It's true though." Lisa stated as the girl before she uncovered her face. "Now do me a favor?"
Rosie hummed.
"Eat some dinner for me?"
Chaeyoung glanced to her untouched dinner on the nightstand. The food clearly cold, and a part of her still not feeling up to eating it. But when she returned her gaze to Lisa's, and saw the softness of her eyes, she decided a bite or two wouldn't hurt. Even at this hour. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"I'll have some."
Lisa smiled, feeling a final wave of relief wash over her as she fell back and laid fully down. Bringing her phone with her as she beamed. "Thank you baby."
"It's nothing."
"No. Not nothing. It's something, like you said. And something is perfectly fine with me."
Chaeyoung caught herself smiling as a tear slid down her cheek. One that she wiped away, as Lisa yawned. Blinking her eyes before focusing back on the screen. The two of them simply watching one another, sharing warming conversation back and forth, as sleep began to creep up on them.
Fighting the tiredness of their lids as they spoke how much they loved each other into the two screens. Yet not long later, Lisa was the first one to lose the fight, and fall soundly asleep.
Chaeyoung had just wished the sleeping Thai a goodnight when a soft knock came on her door. Momma Ami opening it as Chaeyoung placed her phone on the nightstand, and smiled to her.
"Hi sweetie." The woman spoke. Stealing a glance to the bowl she had already anticipated still being full, before letting her eyes rest on Roseanne's puffy cheeks and red tipped nose. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Chaeyoung assured her. Sitting up from her position and sighing. "I'm good. Just tired."
"Ah." Ami mouthed. Opting not to question the young woman for her tears, for she's sure her daughter and the circumstances were to blame. "Well, if you're tired you should get some rest. Assuming you already spoke your goodnights with Lisa?"
"We did yeah, just finished."
"Then I guess I'll speak mine." Ami smiled, walking over to Chaeyoung and placing a kiss on her forehead. "Goodnight sweetie. I love you."
"I love you too Momma." Chaeyoung replied. Holding the woman's gaze until Ami turned, and collected the bowl off the table beside her. Rosie's eyes widening before she spoke. "Actually..."
Ami stopped at the door and looked back to Chaeyoung. Who was biting her bottom lip in thought. "Yes Chaeng?"
"I was..." Roseanne began, taking in a breath and thinking of her sleeping girlfriend. "I was thinking of having some..."
The smile that broke out on the mother's face was one she always wanted to see. Momma Ami looking down to the bowl and pointing. "This? You want this?"
Chaeyoung nodded.
"Okay! Give me a couple minutes to heat some up and then I'll come back up and join you, okay? We can have a little cuddle session with some late night feastings! Be right back! Don't go anywhere!"
"Okay." Roseanne chuckled. Watching as the smaller woman rushed off with her dinner bowl. A warmth pooling in, and around her heart, at the thought of something so mundane bringing such happiness to the older woman's life.
Knowing well Momma Ami had to have been the one to mention her recent eating habits to Lisa. And honestly, she's so grateful for it. Because when Ami returned with her food, and cuddled up against her side as she ate, she was reminded about how much love she still receives. Especially when she'd see that love reflected in Ami Manoban's eyes.